Differences [Fic]
Differences
Summary: Eames and Arthur had very different and yet similar lives.
Pairing: Eames/Arthur
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in regard to Inception.
AN: I quite like to explore the back story of my favorite Inception characters. I hope it meshes with what everybody else imagined. I tried to make them as believable and authentic as I could!
~
When Arthur is ten, he decides that it is time to buy a bike.
After all, it is the most efficient form of transport for his age group and he's been told that it makes you especially popular. He doesn't quite understand why it makes you so but he assumes that it has something to do with the height and speed of the object. He asks for one for christmas and, as expected, there is a bike waiting for him on christmas morning.
A week after he rides it for the first time, he rides up his favorite hill, stops at the top and stares at the decline. It's higher then he thought but the fact that Neil McRoy is beside him means that he has to stop shaking and biting his lip. Neil has had a bike since first grade and always makes a point to ride it to school. He doesn't really like him but he knows that to be popular, you have to make friends with Neil.
When Neil asks him if he's too scared, he laughs, takes his feet off the road and starts the trip down. He is going so fast that tears are forming in his eyes and the roughness of the road is shaking the handlebars and making his seat feel uncomfortable. Just when he thinks that he's survived and everything is alright, a stone flips him and he crashes off into the bush. When he regains consciousness, Neil is standing over him grinning. He has blood all down his legs and its feels like his elbows and knees are on fire... but he doesn't mind. When he returns home, his mother cries and calls up Neil's mother.
He feels bad that all he can think of is how good it felt to conquer his fear. How good it felt to face certain disaster and walk away from it grinning.
He doesn't tell anyone about how much he enjoyed the adrenaline rush.
~
When Eames is ten, he owns his first bike.
Well, technically, he doesn't own it. He likes to refer to it as borrowing but he really doesn't have any intention of giving it back.
He doesn't come from a well off family and Patrick has always thrown money around. His mother makes lunches for him and once a week, he and his family all go to a restaurant and laugh and eat and laugh. And it isn't fair because if Eames tried to sit his family down, there would be screaming and crying and screaming and so much crying. His mother (he only calls her mum when she's nice) never gives him kisses on the cheek before school or throws him a birthday party. His mother never even asks him where he is which sometimes, is a good thing.
He hates Patrick and the worst part about the boy is that he is so nice. He gives Eames a sandwich when he staring hungrily at the other lunch boxes and he chooses him for dodge-ball when everyone else calls him, 'scrawny.' He isn't scrawny, he's just skinny. The minute he's old enough to get a job, he's going to eat three meals a day and go out for dinner every week.
He has an idea to get a paper route but first, he needs a bike.
When it's night and the skies are overcast and the moon is hidden, he slips out through his window and saunters down the block. Patrick lives a few streets away so the walk is long in the night and a little bit terrifying. He's found that rich families are the most trusting and it doesn't take a lot to silently open the gate, slip under the windows and into the backyard. His bike is there and it's beautiful and big and new. He stares at it for a while and laughs at the lack of a lock.
Two days pass and he goes on his first paper route. He isn't concerned about Patrick spotting the bike because he leaves before anyone is awake and returns just before the alarms start to ring. He makes sure to keep the bike hidden in the day time. It makes him shake to think about it.
One day, when he's riding past Patrick's house, strangely nervous, he sees a curtain move. He peddles faster and tries not to think about it. It's a popular bike and he can't see anyone following him.
When he's spent his money on a sandwich and is happily munching on it for lunch, Patrick sits down in front of him. He tries not to look scared but he's shaking so much that it's uncomfortable. The boy's eyes travel to his sandwich and then to his face. He smiles and it's slightly sad.
It was unnerving how nice the boy is.
~
When Arthur is fifteen, he joins his first club.
His mother is concerned because he doesn't like to spend time around people. He sits in his room and he studies and he reads and he sleeps. He walks around the neighborhood when he feels cramped and uncomfortable and talks about the weather with his parents at dinner.
His mother thinks it's because he's upset. He just broke up with his first girlfriend (small, blonde hair and a full faced blush) and she thinks that he still loves her and is writing poetry and sonnets for her in his room. He's actually just studying. He didn't really like her and it was a mistake to make her his girlfriend. He had assumed that it would be easy and that then, she would understand. But she doesn't. She calls him every night and asks him to the movies after school. He tries not to roll his eyes but it's so difficult sometimes that he has to roll his head.
They go out for a month before he breaks up with her.
She cries and cries and cries and he bites his lip and feels extremely uncomfortable. He does it in his room so his mother sees the girl run through the house and out the front door. He gets a glass of milk and considers it to be a success. His friends call him the Ice King because he doesn't even bat an eye when she goes up to him at school and declares melodramatically that he's a, 'monster,' and can't possibly, 'appreciate,' her loveliness. He doesn't say a word but when she is waiting and the entire cafeteria is silent, he goes back to his book and finishes the page. She glares at him and walks away.
After that, he joins the Chess Club because he loves strategy and silence and crushing an opponent. His dad tries not to be disappointed at the lack of a cup and spiked shoes and his mother smiles and hugs him. He considers the debacle with his ex-girlfriend to be an example of excellent strategy.
However, he learns that even if a strategy is perfect, it can still be a pain to execute.
~
When Eames is fifteen, he joins his first club.
It isn't the kind of club that you can sign up for because it's dangerous and rebellious and everything that he loves. He gets approached after school and the boys are tall and menacing and they have cuts in strange places. He tries to act cool but he feels lame and naive next to them.
"Oi kid," he looks up and even though his heart his beating, his voice is calm and steady.
"Yeah?"
"We've been watching you."
"And?"
"We'd like to offer you a chance to roll with the big kids. We need a lookout and you've got quick eyes and quicker feet."
"And what would I get out of this?"
"Same as us. Respect, power. Any winnings."
"Winnings? What kind of winnings,"
"Oh, you know, the green kind."
He narrows his eyes and feels something like terror well in him. But he crushes the feeling and answers, "I'm in."
A month later, he follows them to the train yard and he watches the dark night as they take out cans and paint pictures. When a security guard shines a light their way, he gives a whistle and they run off into the night like shadows. He feels powerful and there's a sense of purpose to the way he weaves in between buildings. When he looks back, he realizes that he's been leading the chase all along.
~
When Arthur is eighteen, his grandmother dies.
She is old and feeble and has a sense of weariness about her. He hates to go over to her house because his grandfather yells at him and slaps him and tells him that should get a backbone and some balls. He wants to punch the man back but he doesn't because his grandmother starts to cry into her handkerchief and her hands are shaking.
He's scared because life hasn't been following the planned strategy and his last girlfriend made him feel nothing at all. He went to a party and afterwards, they had sex but he didn't feel anything like love as they laid together afterwards. His friends talk about sex and parties and he doesn't care because that doesn't equal success and wealth and adrenaline. He always craves that adrenaline rush and he has to fight his way from the drug dens because the last time he was there, he threw up until sunrise.
He's bothered and agitated and wishes that he was older or that he was dumber.
He really isn't content with being average.
When she dies, his mother wails and his father comforts her for days. They dress in black and his mother buys him a suit. When he's wearing it, he feels mature and respected and he hates that the funeral is over and that he has to take it off. He loved his grandmother but he didn't know her so when they talk about her life, he feels distant and unconnected.
Surprisingly, his grandmother's will is large and when they distribute the contents, he receives more money they he can comprehend. He gives a small part of it to his parents and then he is furnishing his college room the way he would like it. When he leaves for college, he hugs his mother warmly and his father stiffly. He is to become an engineer.
~
Eames is 18 when his mother dies.
He has been out all night and smells of cigarettes and goon and perfume. He's never had a girlfriend but he likes it that way because then he isn't attached and dependent on anyone. When he walks into his house, he tiptoes past the living room and tries not to wake his mother who is sprawled on the couch and blacked out. A bottle of vodka is on the floor and it isn't empty. He thinks that she must just be tired then because she drinks like a trucker when the mood is on her.
He sneaks to his room, closes the door softly and sprawls out onto his bed. He has another smoke before he sleeps and then, it's suddenly afternoon and the sun is beaming through his window and his mouth his thick and dry. He has another cigarette while he hangs out the window and he flicks the bud onto the cold, concrete below.
When he walks into the living room, he groans at the sight of his mother still lying on the couch. It's hot and it smells he wants to kick her awake so that she can have a shower. Her hand is covering her face so when he shoves her, he doesn't see her blank eyes at the movement. He shoves her again and this time, when he pushes the hand off her face, he simply stares at the unmoving white eyes.
She has never been extremely beautiful but in that last look, there is a sad beauty about her that makes the tears run from his eyes. He sprints to the phone and calls for help.
When the paramedics arrive, he's already tripped over her empty pill bottle and fled the scene. He sleeps in a friend's basement and then, he's on the streets.
~
When Arthur is twenty, he tries to find a job.
He's been at college for two years and he finds the work dull. His roommate is a slob and the smell of beer and dirt clings to every part of their room. He hates the way that girls look at him when they enter the room, he hates the pity in their eyes. He doesn't like college parties because the girl's sound like two year olds and the men are either vomiting or sniffing. He tries to form a friendship with his roommate but he's missed his chance so there is a stony silence in the room whenever they are together.
He tries to find a job but he wont accept just anything. He hates the hospitality industry and he hates retail. He doesn't like the forced smiles and the policy of, 'a customer is always right.' He hates the routine and the rules and the stifling obligation. He tries to apply for work experience but he intimidates the clients and patronizes the employees.
He visits the library daily and nods at the librarian. She is older and carefree and her eyes sparkle at his look of intelligence and knowing. When he is bored, he reads whatever is in front of him and so, he picks up an architecture book. It's old and when he reads it, it seems interesting enough but still, it lacks something. Something brilliant and amazing and awe-inspiring.
"Excuse me, but I believe that is my book."
A woman is looking at him and she's beautiful and exotic and her hair is black and thick. He nearly falls in love with her but then, that strange feeling wells inside him which tells him that this is wrong and that he could never love her that way.
"Oh, sorry. I was just looking," he hands the book back and she smiles.
He looks down at another book but she is smiling at him and it's cunning and makes him uncomfortable, "Did you find anything interesting in it?"
He looks up and frowns, "I thought the introduction was interesting, the way that they explained the process of applying your thoughts to reality."
"Oh really," she is smiling now and it's wider then ever, "Well, my father is a Professor here, he teaches architecture."
"I'm an Engineer," he offers by way of explanation.
She cocks her head and everything about her seems otherworldly, "And do you find that interesting?"
".... sometimes."
"Why not all the time?"
He sighs and he doesn't quite know why he is speaking to this woman for so long, "I find it too easy. Too simple."
"What would you like to do?"
"I... I want to understand how everything works. I guess I became an Engineer because it seemed like something that would give me that answer. It just..." He trails off, unsure of how to continue.
"Isn't enough?" She asks and he feels like somehow, she gets it. He feels like she knows what he wants because she's been searching for it all of her life as well. He feels like she's found it and that soon, what he wants will be there, in his hands.
"Yes. That it all just... isn't enough."
She smiles and it's exciting and fresh, "Do you dream?"
~
When Eames is twenty, he tries to find a job.
He's broke and the money he earned from the last poker win is dwindling. He doesn't know how long it will last but he has enough for a cheap motel and some smokes. He's been floating from town to town and is becoming known. He works the tables and has learned the faces, the moves of a pro. When he walks into a room, the men warn each other not to blink because he knows how to follow an expression, a gesture or a word.
He's good at what he does and he rubs shoulders with the best.
He doesn't like the life though because he's tired and he can't win every night. He wants something secure but the thought of running to the coke fiends sends shivers up his spine. He's seen their eyes and he knows that no dealer is clean. He's taken his fair share of drugs in his life but he refuses to become addicted to anything but smokes and good scotch.
When he wins a round, instead of the usual, angry curses that are thrown at him, one man laughs and claps him on the back. He grins at him, like a cheshire cat and gathers up his chips for the next round. The man takes him aside instead and speaks, low and in broken english.
"You, my friend, you are good at this game."
He smiles easily, "it's a gift."
"That it is but... such nights you must pull for small pennies."
"It's quick money. Saves me from working nine to five."
The obese foreigner laughs and it wobbles his double chin, "That it does. That it does. But come, I must show you a different game to play. One where the stakes are much higher."
He is terrified and unwilling but the hand on his arm is claw-like and draws him to the elevators like a vulture. He goes and one chip falls from his hand and is scooped up by a passerby. "Do not worry about your chips. Soon, very soon, you will have much money to spend!"
He hopes it isn't russian roulette. They go to the penthouse and he tries not to act surprised. When they enter the suite, it's dark and there are men everywhere. They look dangerous and scowling and he tries to ease the tension with a smile. His hands are shaking but the foreigner doesn't seem to mind. There is a silver suitcase on the table and a needle. The obese man walks to the needle and holds it with a surprising gentleness.
"This is the secret to all of my wealth," he doesn't speak so the man continues, "With just one injection, you can enter a world that men would only dream of." There is a secret grin at those words, as if it is an inside joke.
"I should really be getting back to..."
"No, no. I saw you at the tables. You are smart and you read the faces like a machine. We have use of such a person in this field. A position, you could say."
"I don't meddle in drugs."
He laughs and it echoes off the walls, "This is no drug. Addiction can be a result but no, this is no drug."
"What is it?"
"Let me show you."
~
When Arthur is twenty four, he meets Eames for the first time.
He's been with Mal and Cobb for years now and he knows how to pull off an extraction without one problem. He emerges from the dreams with a happiness that is almost delusional and every day he feels excited and terrified. The adrenaline rush of a dream lasts for days because when he is sleeping normally, he'll visit the same scenes again and he'll wake up rested and content.
He is drawn to Cobb immediately. They work as a team with a precision that he has never seen before. It's strange to be so integrated into a group when for all of his life, he was an individual. They take him to Paris, Cairo, Sydney, New York. He shops in Santiago and plays tennis in Potsdam. When he drops into Singapore, he uses a cheap local tailor to fashion him suits that would otherwise cost thousands. He learns and he lives and it's how he always wanted it to be.
His parents think that he's an engineer, they think that he has a job that is safe and secure and they he travels through the companies expense. He visits them once a year for christmas and brings then gifts that light up their eyes. They don't ask about the absence of a girlfriend and he never mentions how he actually doesn't know why he doesn't have one.
Mal sits with him and whispers into his ear that it's alright and fine and that love will come along eventually. She thinks that she knows what he is going through because she'll talk of how it was never right until Dom came along. He doesn't try to stress the point but she can see that his questions are still unanswered.
On a particularly difficult mission, they hire a man to distract the mark.
They meet in a hotel room and when he walks in, Arthur feels like he does with every other person. A mild contempt.
It is only until the man is grinning at him and shaking his hand that he questions that feeling because there is something unique and strange about the man. When they are sitting, the man reclines and nods and pours himself a scotch from the mini bar. He thinks that it is disrespectful to drink during a debriefing but then, they are criminals and Cobb doesn't seem to mind. If anything, Cobb seems mildly amused by Eames's manner.
When Eames leaves, he asks Cobb, "How do you know him again?"
"I met him when he was new to the business. He's... very good at his job." He says with a grin and it's clear that there is a shared experienced between Eames, Mal and Cobb.
Mal pouts as she looks up at her lover, "Do you really think I would do something like that on a mission?" Cobb winks and Mal continues, "Besides, he made my butt look big."
He makes a note not to trust anyone while The Forger was on their mission.
~
When Eames is twenty eight, he meets Arthur for the first time.
He's struck instantly by the way the man is assembled. He's neat and punctual and understands everything about the situation. He acts as a silent right hand man to the Extractor but is ready to jump in with a Glock if it's necessary. He watches him and he studies him and he learns his movements.
When they are on a mission, in the quiet lull that so frequently occurs, he walks by a mirror and becomes Mal. He wants to know Arthur in a way that no other person has inspired him. He wants to know why he is so straight and driven and determined and why he looks at Eames with that searching, inquisitive gaze.
He's overheard more conversations then the team realizes so he forms a plan as he walks to the Point Man's positions. As usual, when the narrow, lithe figure of the man enters his vision, his heart beats erratically and his palms become sticky He can't show it because he's Mal who is always perfect and beautiful.
"Such focus, it is warming to see," he says in his best impersonation. Arthur looks at him suspiciously but he seems to relax for a moment before answering.
"I just hope the Forger did his job." Eames is slightly offended because he's good at what he does.
"He is the best that we know."
"Was that meant to comfort me?"
"Do not be so hard on him! He has not slipped up yet." He says because he's beginning to become defensive.
Arthur sighs and it's low and drawn from somewhere deep and guarded, "You're right."
"I know. What do you really think of him?" He feels like he's pushing his luck but he's always been good at gambling.
"He's loud, smokes too much, the most indiscreet person imaginable and has a horrible taste in fashion."
"Oh, that is just mean," he's slipped up and he knows it because Arthur has raised an eyebrow.
"Get back to work, Eames."
There is something incredibly attractive about Arthur, especially at the moment he rolls his eyes and walks away. Eames decides that he wants to see that look a lot more.
~
The first time that Arthur realizes he is in love with Eames, he is thirty.
The inception has been completed and Cobb is home with his children. He speaks to him on the phone and there is a gentleness to Cobb's voice that is accepting and content and everything he could wish for the man. Sometimes, Phillipa or James will yell into the phone and he'll laugh at the way they call him Uncle Eames and how they always tell him that, 'we love you, Uncle Arthur,' before they hang up.
Eames doesn't leave him and he tries not to act too grateful and pathetic. All that he called home has been torn from beneath him and can't imagine joining a team that doesn't have Eames or Cobb or Ariadne in it. They live off their earnings from the Inception which was enough to last them a life time. The sudden onslaught of money makes them nervous and anxious and they spend weeks talking about just what to do and see. Ariadne is the only one who doesn't seem endlessly tired of the whole profession and it isn't long until she's flying to Germany for her next job. She promises to keep in touch but he wonders whether she actually will.
Eames stays with him and he feels lost and lonely. The man seems to understand because he is just as alone in the world as Arthur is. They both realize that neither of them has a house or apartment to call their own (Arthur used to stay with Cobb and Mal), they have no close friends to stay with and they have no future to decide on. Arthur has his mother and father but he finds it difficult to evade their questions and to disguise the criminality of his profession.
They decide to travel and he's excited at the prospect. He's never seen a country because it's beautiful and rare and unique. He's traveled to Tokyo for business but he's never walked through the city as a tourist, as an observer. They get separate rooms at every hotel but they eat together and walk together and watch local television together. When they take a photo, it feels strange to have Eames's hand wrap around his shoulder because it feels warm and he only wants to stay like that forever.
When they are in Florence, he realizes that he is in love with Eames.
They are standing on a balcony and the wind is just heavy enough to rustle their clothes. The sun is setting and the sound of the city is swelling to meet them. He sighs and looks at Eames and feels happy. He feels like he's accepted and that he's alright the way he is. He wants to know more about the man and lean into him and simply breath in his presence. He doesn't know if he's gay because he's never been the kind of person to experiment. All he knows is that he's in love with Eames and that he's happy.
When Eames turns to him and smiles, something swells in his chest that feels more amazing then all of the cities, money and adrenaline in the world.
~
The first time that Eames realizes he is in love with Arthur, he's thirty four.
They are standing on a balcony in Florence and the city sounds like an orchestra against the setting sun. He's peaceful and calm and Arthur is smiling next to him. The sight of his happiness fills him with excitement and a rush of something that slowly becomes love. He thinks that he loved Arthur all along because there was never a thought to leave him when Inception was finished.
He turns to him and he smiles back because he's so happy and entranced by the other man that he simply wants to see him.
Arthur soon avoids his eye contact and he thinks that even though the man is stoic and professional, he has a vulnerable, awkward side that never truly experienced unconditional love.
When the sun sets, they don't move from the balcony but he is buried in Arthur's hair and there are hands running down his back. He kisses the mans forehead and runs his hand down his cheek. He never wants to move but there is something exciting about what could be.
It occurs to him that when he was a child, he never imagined that he would fall in love with someone so different.
~