(no subject)
For Emma B.:
"I am not a veggetarian because I hate animals. I am a veggetarian because I hate plants."
-A. Whitney Brown
For Emma P.:
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."
- Ed Gardener
For Haley:
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''"
- Rita Rudner
For Amay:
"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra
For Taylor:
"The men who create power make an indispensable contribution to the Nation’s greatness, but the men who question power make a contribution just as indispensable, especially when that questioning is disinterested, for they determine whether we use power or power uses us."
- JFK
For Rory:
"What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."
- Homer Simpson
For Courtney:
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
- Woody Allen
For Steven:
"Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
- W. C. Fields
For Natalie:
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
- Albert Einstein
For J Dube:
"Smoking kills. If you're killed you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields
For Amy:
"Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep."
- Albert Camus
To Mitch:
"Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently."
- Chinese Proverb
For Fatties for Life:
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
- George Bernard Shaw
For Bo:
"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."
- Henry Cate VII
For Tara:
"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
- Carol Leifer
For Zach:
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
- W. Somerset Maugham
For Marshall:
"Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things."
-- Oscar Hammerstein
For Dillon:
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
- Charles Schultz
For Hair Party:
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
- Rita Mae Brown
For Matt:
‘Just think, they never sleep!’
‘And why not?’
‘Because they never get tired.’
‘And why not?’
‘Because they’re fools.’
‘Don’t fools get tired?’
‘How could fools get tired!’
-Franz Kafka
To Wolf Pack:
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake."
- 50 Cent
For Brooke:
"Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something."
For Taryn:
"We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over."
- Ambrose Bierce
For Dan:
"Me fail english? Thats unpossible!"
- Ralph Wiggum
For Luke:
"Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually."
-Peter, Family Guy
For Bridgette:
"I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."
- Woody Allen
For Sam:
"America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy."
- John Updike
For All:
"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it."
- South Park
"I am not a veggetarian because I hate animals. I am a veggetarian because I hate plants."
-A. Whitney Brown
For Emma P.:
"Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings."
- Ed Gardener
For Haley:
"To attract men, I wear a perfume called ``New Car Interior.''"
- Rita Rudner
For Amay:
"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."
- Yogi Berra
For Taylor:
"The men who create power make an indispensable contribution to the Nation’s greatness, but the men who question power make a contribution just as indispensable, especially when that questioning is disinterested, for they determine whether we use power or power uses us."
- JFK
For Rory:
"What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts."
- Homer Simpson
For Courtney:
"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons."
- Woody Allen
For Steven:
"Once, during prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
- W. C. Fields
For Natalie:
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
- Albert Einstein
For J Dube:
"Smoking kills. If you're killed you've lost a very important part of your life."
- Brooke Shields
For Amy:
"Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep."
- Albert Camus
To Mitch:
"Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently."
- Chinese Proverb
For Fatties for Life:
"There is no sincerer love than the love of food."
- George Bernard Shaw
For Bo:
"The problem with political jokes is they get elected."
- Henry Cate VII
For Tara:
"I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain."
- Carol Leifer
For Zach:
"The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit."
- W. Somerset Maugham
For Marshall:
"Cute little babies that fall out of swings - These are a few of my favourite things."
-- Oscar Hammerstein
For Dillon:
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia."
- Charles Schultz
For Hair Party:
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
- Rita Mae Brown
For Matt:
‘Just think, they never sleep!’
‘And why not?’
‘Because they never get tired.’
‘And why not?’
‘Because they’re fools.’
‘Don’t fools get tired?’
‘How could fools get tired!’
-Franz Kafka
To Wolf Pack:
"I love you like a fat kid loves cake."
- 50 Cent
For Brooke:
"Before I start speaking, I'd like to say something."
For Taryn:
"We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over."
- Ambrose Bierce
For Dan:
"Me fail english? Thats unpossible!"
- Ralph Wiggum
For Luke:
"Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you, very homosexually."
-Peter, Family Guy
For Bridgette:
"I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia."
- Woody Allen
For Sam:
"America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy."
- John Updike
For All:
"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it."
- South Park