What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas? Nope, it's on DVD
Back from celebrating my friend's big 3-0 in Vegas. I had a blast. Mostly because I didn't get wasted (I was able to sustain a nice buzz through the entire time but not actually step over the line into feeling sick), saw some AWESOME shows, and only lost $10 total to the slots.
Saturday:
Flight is delayed. We are further delayed when we find the overhead bins are all full and we have to check our bags. Free, but the point of a carry on is that I don't have to go to baggage claim.
When we check into our hotel, Excalibur, I tell my friend who has a cute voice and has something about her that makes middle-aged mens' knees turn to jello to ask for a free room upgrade. We score one, and get a room facing the strip rather than the parking lots behind the hotels.
Frank Marinos Divas; a drag show. Frank Marino comes out as Joan Rivers and tells a bunch of dirty jokes and stories which are quite funny. Then a bunch of drag queens come out and impersonate female performers like:
BEYONCE - This impersonator was so funny. He did Single Ladies and had all this boob and butt padding. Then throughout the song, he fought with the backup dancers and kept pulling hamburgers out of his boobs. IDEK.
RIHANNA - S&M. This was kind of hot ngl.
Cher, Celine Dion, Tina Turner, Janet Jackson, Bette Midler, and a bunch of others made appearances. Such a fun show. I was a little disappointed that Britney and Lady Gaga didn't make an appearance.
Grabbed a chilli cheese dog after the show and then went back to Excalibur for some slot action. I put in $20 and cashed out at $35. Nice. Pass out at 4ish.
Sunday:
HOT AS BLAZES. It literally felt like the sun was burning my skin off. Though of course, the heat is the excuse everyone uses to skank it up in Vegas. I wear the only skirt I have that is even remotely skanky:
By Vegas standards this is the equivalent of wearing a turtleneck. I don't get how girls wear dresses that barely cover their asses. It was hard for me not to flash the cab drivers as I was getting out of taxis, I wouldn't be able to handle anything shorter.
Guys stared at my friend's boobs, I caught several guys looking down my other friend's tank top, but me? I got a lot of smirks because I have the worse (admittedly funny looking) v neck tan line thanks to that sunburn from my NY trip. I apologized for bringing down the hotness quotient of our group. :(
Brunch at The Mirage. $30 for brunch buffet. O_O The food was good, but the best part is that they serve unlimited champagne. Buzz before sundown... only in Vegas. I drank one champagne and downed at least 5 mimosas. Our server kept giving us funny looks because we kept asking for booze refills. Well they said unlimited, and no way did I eat $30 worth of food. Also, it was cheap champagne.
Walked back to Excalibur and played more slots. Was up to $45 at one point but ended up losing it all. :( Did cheap jello shots.
We go back to our room and get dolled up for the dinner and show that night. (No pics yet because my friend hasn't sent them to me yet.) We looked really out of place. I thought we looked nice, but we missed the memo that the only way to dress up in Vegas is $2 hooker. ;P
I wore the 3 inch heels I posted in an earlier entry and while I must say that they made my legs look hot, they were a pain in the ass to walk in.
Murder mystery dinner at 6:30. Fun with audience participation. Both of my friends got picked on but luckily I was left alone. The acting and the mystery was a bit cheesy, but I enjoyed it. The food though, not so much. My beef tri-tip tasted like bad pot roast. I think I've eaten better at Denny's. Also there was this cute guy that I kind of stared at and he kind of stared back. Too bad I didn't get a chance to chat him up. I did get to talk to an older couple sitting next to me though. They laughed at me staying at Excalibur. Well excuse me money bags, the difference between Mandalay Bay and Excalibur is $100 a night and I have better things to do with my $200. Got a shirt from the show:
Walked to Fremont street and watched a bit of the show that is projected on the ceiling of this one area:
Marc Savard Comedy Hypnosis at 10pm. THIS SHOW IS AWESOME. I recommend it as the best $20 I spent in Vegas. He hypnotizes about 10 people from the audience and has them basically make fools of themselves. I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe.
Highlights -
Marc has one person think they are Michael Flatley from Riverdance when they hear certain music. The rest of the people are his back up dancers. LOL. Our Michael Flatley was hilarious. He didn't know how to do a jig, but he sure was enthusiastic about trying.
Porn star names and staring in a porn. *ded* We had one person named "Imer Cocksmith" and another named "Horsecrack". Good lord. And then there was this one homophobic dude that freaked out when he was given a male blow up doll but said ok to a green alien doll... And man they went AT IT. They literally dry humped those dolls into oblivion. I laughed so hard but felt so much second hand embarrassment for them.
The naughtiest thing Marc did was to have the volunteers experience the most intense orgasm for 3 seconds any time someone shook their hand until they left the theater. One of the female volunteers was sitting next to me and when the show ended people started shaking her hand and holy crap the poor girl was having orgasms non-stop.
The worse part is that the show is recorded. You can buy DVDs of each performance. OMG. Blackmail material indeed.
Walked to the Paris hotel and got this:
Yes, it's huge. Strawberry margarita.
Played more slots and pretty much broke even for the night or morning, whatever you want to call it.
Monday:
Had the famous frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity. Decent but overrated.
Back to the hotel to play slots one last time. Cashed out when I was up $10.
Flight home was on time, but AGAIN the overhead bins got full and we had to go to baggage claim to get our bags.
I missed the WWC but I read the article in USA Today while I was in Vegas. God, I'm such a sad nerd. Congrats to Japan! It's really great they get such a boost when they really needed it. I do think that losing on penalty kicks is one of the worst ways to go though so I feel for the USA team.
Edited to fix the weird sideways pics.
Saturday:
Flight is delayed. We are further delayed when we find the overhead bins are all full and we have to check our bags. Free, but the point of a carry on is that I don't have to go to baggage claim.
When we check into our hotel, Excalibur, I tell my friend who has a cute voice and has something about her that makes middle-aged mens' knees turn to jello to ask for a free room upgrade. We score one, and get a room facing the strip rather than the parking lots behind the hotels.
Frank Marinos Divas; a drag show. Frank Marino comes out as Joan Rivers and tells a bunch of dirty jokes and stories which are quite funny. Then a bunch of drag queens come out and impersonate female performers like:
BEYONCE - This impersonator was so funny. He did Single Ladies and had all this boob and butt padding. Then throughout the song, he fought with the backup dancers and kept pulling hamburgers out of his boobs. IDEK.
RIHANNA - S&M. This was kind of hot ngl.
Cher, Celine Dion, Tina Turner, Janet Jackson, Bette Midler, and a bunch of others made appearances. Such a fun show. I was a little disappointed that Britney and Lady Gaga didn't make an appearance.
Grabbed a chilli cheese dog after the show and then went back to Excalibur for some slot action. I put in $20 and cashed out at $35. Nice. Pass out at 4ish.
Sunday:
HOT AS BLAZES. It literally felt like the sun was burning my skin off. Though of course, the heat is the excuse everyone uses to skank it up in Vegas. I wear the only skirt I have that is even remotely skanky:
By Vegas standards this is the equivalent of wearing a turtleneck. I don't get how girls wear dresses that barely cover their asses. It was hard for me not to flash the cab drivers as I was getting out of taxis, I wouldn't be able to handle anything shorter.
Guys stared at my friend's boobs, I caught several guys looking down my other friend's tank top, but me? I got a lot of smirks because I have the worse (admittedly funny looking) v neck tan line thanks to that sunburn from my NY trip. I apologized for bringing down the hotness quotient of our group. :(
Brunch at The Mirage. $30 for brunch buffet. O_O The food was good, but the best part is that they serve unlimited champagne. Buzz before sundown... only in Vegas. I drank one champagne and downed at least 5 mimosas. Our server kept giving us funny looks because we kept asking for booze refills. Well they said unlimited, and no way did I eat $30 worth of food. Also, it was cheap champagne.
Walked back to Excalibur and played more slots. Was up to $45 at one point but ended up losing it all. :( Did cheap jello shots.
We go back to our room and get dolled up for the dinner and show that night. (No pics yet because my friend hasn't sent them to me yet.) We looked really out of place. I thought we looked nice, but we missed the memo that the only way to dress up in Vegas is $2 hooker. ;P
I wore the 3 inch heels I posted in an earlier entry and while I must say that they made my legs look hot, they were a pain in the ass to walk in.
Murder mystery dinner at 6:30. Fun with audience participation. Both of my friends got picked on but luckily I was left alone. The acting and the mystery was a bit cheesy, but I enjoyed it. The food though, not so much. My beef tri-tip tasted like bad pot roast. I think I've eaten better at Denny's. Also there was this cute guy that I kind of stared at and he kind of stared back. Too bad I didn't get a chance to chat him up. I did get to talk to an older couple sitting next to me though. They laughed at me staying at Excalibur. Well excuse me money bags, the difference between Mandalay Bay and Excalibur is $100 a night and I have better things to do with my $200. Got a shirt from the show:
Walked to Fremont street and watched a bit of the show that is projected on the ceiling of this one area:
Marc Savard Comedy Hypnosis at 10pm. THIS SHOW IS AWESOME. I recommend it as the best $20 I spent in Vegas. He hypnotizes about 10 people from the audience and has them basically make fools of themselves. I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe.
Highlights -
Marc has one person think they are Michael Flatley from Riverdance when they hear certain music. The rest of the people are his back up dancers. LOL. Our Michael Flatley was hilarious. He didn't know how to do a jig, but he sure was enthusiastic about trying.
Click to viewPorn star names and staring in a porn. *ded* We had one person named "Imer Cocksmith" and another named "Horsecrack". Good lord. And then there was this one homophobic dude that freaked out when he was given a male blow up doll but said ok to a green alien doll... And man they went AT IT. They literally dry humped those dolls into oblivion. I laughed so hard but felt so much second hand embarrassment for them.
The naughtiest thing Marc did was to have the volunteers experience the most intense orgasm for 3 seconds any time someone shook their hand until they left the theater. One of the female volunteers was sitting next to me and when the show ended people started shaking her hand and holy crap the poor girl was having orgasms non-stop.
The worse part is that the show is recorded. You can buy DVDs of each performance. OMG. Blackmail material indeed.
Walked to the Paris hotel and got this:
Yes, it's huge. Strawberry margarita.
Played more slots and pretty much broke even for the night or morning, whatever you want to call it.
Monday:
Had the famous frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity. Decent but overrated.
Back to the hotel to play slots one last time. Cashed out when I was up $10.
Flight home was on time, but AGAIN the overhead bins got full and we had to go to baggage claim to get our bags.
I missed the WWC but I read the article in USA Today while I was in Vegas. God, I'm such a sad nerd. Congrats to Japan! It's really great they get such a boost when they really needed it. I do think that losing on penalty kicks is one of the worst ways to go though so I feel for the USA team.
Edited to fix the weird sideways pics.