Afterlife - Ch.10 (Final)
Title: Afterlife
Pairing: Matt/Jimmy
Rating: NC-17 (FINALLY SEX YEAH)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and as far as I know, none of this really happened.
Summary:
A translucent haze. Endless dreaming.
Dreams. Memories. Aren’t they the same now?
Feels like it.
But they’re only memories...
Memories we can never make again.
Memories that feel so wonderful, so vivid, so real as they engulf my mind.
Then they leave me empty. In pain.
Alone.
I wish I could go back...
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
It was music to my ears when Jimmy swung shut the cupboards and said, “Let’s get out of here.”
Walking through the place now brought back only bad memories. I’d been stuck in here for what felt like weeks, if not months. It even upset me a little bit how he was able to take the same route I’d taken so long ago trying to escape, and not just end up where we started. Instead, the door opened for him to an eddy of the familiar white fog from the surface, and the temperature dropped at least ten degrees. We crawled out of the crypt into the clearing where we had first arrived.
“How the fuck did you do that?” I asked, brushing off my pants and watching as he pushed the frosted stone lid back into place. I had come across my old clothes while we were searching and put them on. “I couldn’t find the exit to that hellhole no matter how many times I tried. I opened that same door and it was dead end.”
He shrugged. “I just followed the same path we used getting in. Maybe he had it charmed so you couldn’t get out.”
“Then why wouldn’t it affect you?” I asked. Nobody had an answer.
We started walking in no direction in particular. Now that the supposed creator of this place was finished, I wondered why his realm hadn’t disappeared and I been whisked back to real life.
“And another thing. Right before you guys arrived...” I paused, realizing that much of the space within that time frame was a blur in my memory. I couldn’t remember how I had distracted his attention. “He said that he didn’t know where you guys were. That he knew the location of anyone in his realm, but that you guys had wandered so far off that he couldn’t see you anymore.”
Brian started laughing. “Truthfully, we wrapped ourselves in those magical vines to cloak our trail. It was a gamble, considering they might have strangled us instead like they did to him, but it was our only chance. Since Jimmy said the coffin was the entrance and he had a spell over it that we couldn’t break, we figured we should pretend we weren’t there at all and see if he let the enchantment go.”
“Good call,” I responded, but I was starting to notice something strange about the entire situation. How did Jimmy seem to know everything without explanation?
I realized that he had been silent for some time now, his gaze hollow as if he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going at all. It meant that he was thinking. Otherwise Jimmy was never so quiet. I didn’t like it, but at the same time I knew it was a good thing. He was a genius. Thinking that hard, he was sure to figure something out.
When I heard the crack of a fresh fallen branch beneath my foot, I looked backward in surprise. The setting had been changing gradually from the dead, unwelcoming woods into a lush grove. The sky was still cloudy, but the temperature had risen enough to clear away my goosebumps.
I heard Brian groan and turned around to see him bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing with much exaggeration. “Where the fuck are we? I’m totally not cut out for this. I’m just a goddamn rockstar.”
“Then take a break, you lazy fuck. I’m gonna keep walking around,” Jimmy responded, not even pausing to look. He disappeared behind an inscrutable line of birch trees. “I won’t go far.”
“How the hell do you have so much energy?” Brian asked, sitting down right where he was and throwing his head back to feel the specks of sun peeking through the tree branches on his face. I laid down on a pile of leaves near to him, relieved.
“What are we even doing?” I crossed my arms over my chest, staring up into the tangle of greenery. “This is starting to seem pointless. We’re not going to find my memory. How the hell do you find a memory?”
“It was your idea, man.”
“I know, but I only said it because I felt bad.”
“That’s cold.”
I closed my eyes. He was right.
“You do believe what I told you, right? About you and Jimmy?”
“It’s kinda hard to just believe something like that, you know. I’m trying my best, but it’s too weird.”
“It’s not weird. It’s real, and I’ve witnessed it for most of my life. So have Johnny and Zack. So if we can’t get your memory back somehow, you’re gonna have to just believe it, you dick.”
After a few minutes, I stood up and walked in the direction Jimmy had gone. He had his hand pressed up against the ivory bark of a tree. It had the initials ‘MS’ and ‘JS’ carved into it, connected by a heart. I chuckled, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I thought the carving was ridiculous, or because a little part of me thought it was cute.
He turned to me, startled, his hand dropping to his side. “Syn! C’mere, you need to see something!” he called. Then he smiled at me, but it was forced. I got a sick feeling in my stomach.
“You remember this, right?” he asked when Brian arrived.
“Yeah. Why is it here?”
“Wait, what?” I interjected. “You didn’t just do that?”
Jimmy shook his head. “I carved that into the tree in Brian’s backyard twenty years ago. I knew it would piss him off.”
There was a long pause. “What the hell...” I mumbled. Just another thing that was completely amiss, that didn’t make any sense if this had been Arturo’s realm.
“Don’t you guys think it’s a little weird that I know exactly where I’m going in here? How I was able to get us out of Arturo’s manor when Matt couldn’t? How we could kill him while I was there...and how I knew that the coffin was the entrance?” He paused, staring at the ground and kicking up little bits of dirt as he spoke. As if he was still trying to sort something out in his mind. “That house contained memories. My memories, my thoughts. I found an old snare and some sticks in one of the cupboards, from my first drum set. I didn’t tell you guys about it because I thought it didn’t mean anything at first, so we left. But I keep seeing things that are familiar. It’s like this world is something I dreamt up once. I wasn’t sure about it before, but when I found this...” He replaced his hand on the carving. “Everything here is from my imagination. I think I created this. I think I created Arturo as well.”
He started pacing, making hand gestures as he thought out loud. “I subconsciously made an enemy, a problem for me to overcome to get to Matt. Maybe it’s because I felt guilty for leaving you like that. I felt like I didn’t deserve you after bringing you so much pain, so suddenly. That explains why killing him got rid of the boundaries between our lips.” Then he looked at me, halting. “And your memory...since I thought Arturo was real, maybe I wanted to protect our memories from him. I was worried that since he controlled things here, he could take them. So I took them instead, without even realizing it. If all this is true, if I’m right, then this is actually my realm. Then that means...I can...”
He rushed toward me with renewed determination, as if he had just struck the perfect notion in his head. The solution. His hands found the sides of my jaw and he rested his forehead against mine, murmuring, “Please work, let it work, be mine again...”
I could almost feel his concentration, the little gears in his head whirring overtime just past his skin. “Work, goddammit please, do you remember...?” He stepped in closer, as if the physical connection would help, when this was really all taking place in his mind. “Please remember...take the memories back, so you can make more with me...”
I saw something. An image that flew through my conscious mind, but I felt everything. The bittersweet love of childhood, the first butterflies. “Ji-”
Another one, and this time it made my stomach so jittery that my voice caught in my throat, and I smiled so wide that my face hurt. Then all the memories bombarded my head, each one appearing for only a vivid second but overwhelming me with emotion. My eyes were open but I couldn’t see what was in front of them.
All I saw was Jimmy. All I felt was Jimmy. I felt his lips on mine, his skin against my fingertips, his hands pulling me close. His gentle caress, his passionate embrace. His love, concentrated so strongly and unconditionally in those mischievous blue eyes every time he looked at me, and expressed outwardly with every fiber of his being any chance he got.
Suddenly that perplexing, beautiful, indescribable sensation seized my whole body, my heart pounding tirelessly against my ribs as I fell in love all over again.
I grabbed his face and kissed him with all of the passion I had for him that had been pent up for months, all of it and more, and I didn’t care about anything except Jimmy because oh god I missed him. He was right here with me now and I missed him so fucking badly.
“Jimmy, I...I love you...so...I love you so much,” I stuttered out, my words becoming tangled and delayed as I tried to kiss him and speak to him at the same time. It was hard for me to let our lips part for even a second. I just kept coming back for more.
I could feel his smile against my lips as he wrapped his arms around me, but he kissed me back so timidly.
My hands were on his shoulders and I pushed him unknowingly until his back was against the tree, removing the acquisitive pressure of my mouth for a moment even though it felt like an eternity. “Don’t be afraid, Jimmy. I remember. I remember everything, and I love you with all my heart. I don’t know how I could ever forget this feeling...” I buried my face in his neck, in his scent, against his colorful skin, and just hugged him so tight that I was almost positive he couldn’t breathe and was too incredible to complain about it.
“I’m sorry for all this...” he mumbled, rubbing my back lovingly, soothingly.
“No, I’m sorry,” I contradicted almost instantly, and I moved my head to trail kisses along his jaw. “I know if you ever forgot this...I wouldn’t know what the hell to do with myself. I’d die.”
“Don’t say that,” he insisted, the adorable sensitive side of him coming out. I was usually the only one who ever saw it, which made it all the more special.
I kissed him again, my hands traveling down his sides until my thumbs rested in the waistband on his jeans. He looked at me questioningly.
“I want you,” I told him quietly, not even bothering to check if Brian was still with us. I guessed that he had most likely wandered off by now, after predicting what was coming next and knowing that he couldn’t stop us. Even if he hadn’t, at this point I wouldn’t have cared if he watched.
“Inside me,” I added in a whisper, knowing the effect of my voice as my fingers traveled to the front of his hips and brushed the half-hard limb beneath his zipper.
“Now.” I popped the button loose and lifted his shirt over his head skillfully, my hands eagerly exploring his chest as soon as it was bare. I felt his palm against the thick denim covering my groin, giving me a taste of the delicious friction I hadn’t felt in months. I yanked my shirt off as well.
“Ji-Jimmy...” I moaned between pleasured breaths, trying to loosen my pants but the fabric kept slipping between my fingers. He moved his hands to my hips and pulled me fiercely against him, his lips attacking my neck. As I felt his hard cock rub against mine, an immense wave of desire for him took over my mind and set fire to my body. “O-Ohh fuck, please..”
“You are so goddamn sexy...” he mumbled, his teeth grazing the skin below my ear. His fingers slipped between us as hot, labored breaths warmed my neck. My jeans and boxers dropped to the ground. I fumbled again to remove his, to feel the massive hardness that was his dick and feel it pushed inside me...
My thoughts distracted me and before I knew it my back was against the tree and his warm mouth was around me, the bark scratching into me as my back arched and I shuddered and screamed his name. “Oh my f-fuck...Jimmy...Jimmy god-dammit just get f-fuck...get inside me!” My nails dug into the bark, trying feebly to support me while I could hardly breathe. He pushed a finger deep into my entrance and curled it up, brushing a spot that made my knees buckle beneath me and I grabbed his hair to pull him off of my cock before I could cum. “Jimmy...I fucking want you inside me, dammit,” I begged, gazing at him with helpless desire as he rose back to my level and kissed me with surprising delicacy.
“It’s gonna hurt,” he told me softly, lovingly, placing a hand under one of my thighs and bringing it to his waist. I winced and gasped slightly as he inserted another finger, spreading them apart.
“I know, J-Jimmy,” I responded, trying unsuccessfully to catch my breath. He pulled his fingers out and spat in the same hand to lubricate himself, and then pulled my other thigh up and pressed his body tightly against mine to support me. My ankles locked around his back.
“I love you,” he whispered against my lips, and for a moment everything drowned out except the pain as he pushed inside me, stretching me to my limit. I bit into my arm until blood ran down my elbow, arms cinched tightly around his neck, muffled screams still managing to escape until he was all the way in. Then he waited, cooing my name in pleasured, soothing whispers beside my ear, but I wanted more.
I wrenched my jaws apart, disregarding the pain, and breathed, “Fuck me Jimmy, fuck me hard.”
“Are you sure..?” he started, concerned, but I kissed him fiercely and then repeated myself.
“I fucking missed you, Jimmy. Fuck me hard.”
I cried out again, louder, as he thrust into me, but only allowed him a second’s hesitation before screaming, “Don’t fucking stop, Jimmy...dammit, fuck me hard!” Because I missed this too, this burning sensation, knowing by the way his eyelashes fluttered and his tightening grip on me that I was giving him the ultimate pleasure. I missed everything about this.
I buried my face in his neck, whimpering involuntarily every time he slammed back into me, but I know my voice only turned him on more. He hit my prostate dead-on and my whole body shuddered and I moaned in pleasure against his hot skin. When the feeling faded, I looked up to see him smirking.
“Don’t fucking tease me a-anymore.” I kissed him frustratedly, biting his lip until he turned his head to respond.
“Then don’t fucking tease me either, Matt.” He thrust into me harder and I cried out, my body automatically pressing close to him. My throbbing dick was pushed against his stomach and I knew he felt it, but he hadn’t made any notion to touch me and it was driving me insane.
“Fine, asshole,” I gasped, smiling almost masochistically, as I braced myself on his shoulders and started moving my own hips with his. My eyes clenched shut and he let out continual moans of pleasure as he drove impossibly deeper into me, and now he was hitting the right spot every time until I was so deep in bliss that I couldn’t think straight, and I couldn’t stand to wait any longer.
“Fuck, Jimmy, fucking touch me..!” I breathed, every word laced with a moan of pure ecstasy as he wrapped his hand around my cock and stroked me to the same beautiful rhythm of our bodies. He said my name in my ear, letting me know by his desperate tone how close he was. I kissed the side of his face and murmured as steadily as I could, “I-I love you, Jimmy.”
His body trembled as I felt him fill me up, and I came all over the both of us, whining and moaning and touching his beautiful self in any way I could because I was way beyond Cloud Nine and oh god I was in love with him, so deeply and truly I knew a deeper emotion couldn’t exist.
We stayed still for several minutes afterward, panting, holding each other like we may have never gotten another chance. Before, I had enjoyed every minute I spend with him, but now I cherished every second because I’d found out how easily those seconds could be taken away. The content smile faded from my face as I realized that nothing had changed. This was not reality. He was still...
I couldn’t bear to finish the thought.
I winced again as he pushed his hips upward to pull out of me and set me on my feet, the pain in my ass and back and arm setting in only now that the pleasure wasn’t there to overpower it. He rested his forehead against mine, holding my hands. “I love you so much...” he murmured, and suddenly, tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t lose this again. I couldn’t.
“Matt...?” he whispered, panic in his voice. I smiled because of it, because of how much he cared for me. Everything he did made me miss him more when he wasn’t even gone yet. I looked into his eyes and saw the worry blatantly, but it only made the tears come stronger. I couldn’t go my whole life without getting lost in those eyes again.
He put his hands on either side of my face. I placed my hand over his, treasuring the feel, trying to find the strength to speak. “I can’t...stay here...c-can I?”
In an instant he understood, and he hugged me tight. “No...but I’m staying, and you can see me every night. I’ll be right here waiting for you to start dreaming. Doesn’t it seem nice? A whole world, just for you and me...we can build it any way we want. We can still grow old together. ‘Cause I’ll always love you, Matt, and there’s no way I was going to fucking leave until you leave with me.”
He pulled back slightly to look at me, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“You...you’ll still be here?” I confirmed, doubtfully, and he nodded.
“Until the end.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
He kissed my lips as if it seal it, and the last of my fears faded away. I wanted to stay here with him forever, but somehow I knew that it was time to go.
A steady beep filled my consciousness. White light blinded me as I opened my eyes. A hospital. I turned to see Brian in the bed beside me, only just waking up as well. “The hell...?” he mumbled, dazed. A nurse stopped as she was walking past the doorway, surprise on her face, and then rushed away.
“What happened? Are we alive?” He scratched his head, looking down at the hospital robe in disgust. Then he looked up and pointed at me accusingly. “You know, I could hear you guys from halfway across the goddamn forest! Could you possibly fuck any louder?”
I heard a few familiar voices in the hall before I could respond. “What?! They’re awake?”
“Fuckers giving us a heart attack!” Johnny blurted out, much too loudly for a public establishment, and then apologized for his language. A different nurse entered the room then, followed closely by two assholes who couldn’t wait for the okay to visit. She seemed to have given up holding them back, and simply directed them to stay by the side of the room while she ran her tests. Johnny made a couple more than offensive gestures behind her back.
“How long have we been out?” I asked, after all of us recovered from a fit of laughter that the nurse couldn’t comprehend at all.
“You’ve been in a fucking coma for a month, dude!” Johnny replied, earning himself a glare. “Oops. Sorry.”
I glanced over at Brian. We had a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
El fin.
A/N: I dunno why this chapter is like three times as long as all the other ones.
Also, constructive criticism makes me very happy.
And I may decide to add an epilogue, so you want to make me happy, yes? *hint hint nudge nudge*
Pairing: Matt/Jimmy
Rating: NC-17 (FINALLY SEX YEAH)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, and as far as I know, none of this really happened.
Summary:
A translucent haze. Endless dreaming.
Dreams. Memories. Aren’t they the same now?
Feels like it.
But they’re only memories...
Memories we can never make again.
Memories that feel so wonderful, so vivid, so real as they engulf my mind.
Then they leave me empty. In pain.
Alone.
I wish I could go back...
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
It was music to my ears when Jimmy swung shut the cupboards and said, “Let’s get out of here.”
Walking through the place now brought back only bad memories. I’d been stuck in here for what felt like weeks, if not months. It even upset me a little bit how he was able to take the same route I’d taken so long ago trying to escape, and not just end up where we started. Instead, the door opened for him to an eddy of the familiar white fog from the surface, and the temperature dropped at least ten degrees. We crawled out of the crypt into the clearing where we had first arrived.
“How the fuck did you do that?” I asked, brushing off my pants and watching as he pushed the frosted stone lid back into place. I had come across my old clothes while we were searching and put them on. “I couldn’t find the exit to that hellhole no matter how many times I tried. I opened that same door and it was dead end.”
He shrugged. “I just followed the same path we used getting in. Maybe he had it charmed so you couldn’t get out.”
“Then why wouldn’t it affect you?” I asked. Nobody had an answer.
We started walking in no direction in particular. Now that the supposed creator of this place was finished, I wondered why his realm hadn’t disappeared and I been whisked back to real life.
“And another thing. Right before you guys arrived...” I paused, realizing that much of the space within that time frame was a blur in my memory. I couldn’t remember how I had distracted his attention. “He said that he didn’t know where you guys were. That he knew the location of anyone in his realm, but that you guys had wandered so far off that he couldn’t see you anymore.”
Brian started laughing. “Truthfully, we wrapped ourselves in those magical vines to cloak our trail. It was a gamble, considering they might have strangled us instead like they did to him, but it was our only chance. Since Jimmy said the coffin was the entrance and he had a spell over it that we couldn’t break, we figured we should pretend we weren’t there at all and see if he let the enchantment go.”
“Good call,” I responded, but I was starting to notice something strange about the entire situation. How did Jimmy seem to know everything without explanation?
I realized that he had been silent for some time now, his gaze hollow as if he wasn’t paying attention to where he was going at all. It meant that he was thinking. Otherwise Jimmy was never so quiet. I didn’t like it, but at the same time I knew it was a good thing. He was a genius. Thinking that hard, he was sure to figure something out.
When I heard the crack of a fresh fallen branch beneath my foot, I looked backward in surprise. The setting had been changing gradually from the dead, unwelcoming woods into a lush grove. The sky was still cloudy, but the temperature had risen enough to clear away my goosebumps.
I heard Brian groan and turned around to see him bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing with much exaggeration. “Where the fuck are we? I’m totally not cut out for this. I’m just a goddamn rockstar.”
“Then take a break, you lazy fuck. I’m gonna keep walking around,” Jimmy responded, not even pausing to look. He disappeared behind an inscrutable line of birch trees. “I won’t go far.”
“How the hell do you have so much energy?” Brian asked, sitting down right where he was and throwing his head back to feel the specks of sun peeking through the tree branches on his face. I laid down on a pile of leaves near to him, relieved.
“What are we even doing?” I crossed my arms over my chest, staring up into the tangle of greenery. “This is starting to seem pointless. We’re not going to find my memory. How the hell do you find a memory?”
“It was your idea, man.”
“I know, but I only said it because I felt bad.”
“That’s cold.”
I closed my eyes. He was right.
“You do believe what I told you, right? About you and Jimmy?”
“It’s kinda hard to just believe something like that, you know. I’m trying my best, but it’s too weird.”
“It’s not weird. It’s real, and I’ve witnessed it for most of my life. So have Johnny and Zack. So if we can’t get your memory back somehow, you’re gonna have to just believe it, you dick.”
After a few minutes, I stood up and walked in the direction Jimmy had gone. He had his hand pressed up against the ivory bark of a tree. It had the initials ‘MS’ and ‘JS’ carved into it, connected by a heart. I chuckled, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I thought the carving was ridiculous, or because a little part of me thought it was cute.
He turned to me, startled, his hand dropping to his side. “Syn! C’mere, you need to see something!” he called. Then he smiled at me, but it was forced. I got a sick feeling in my stomach.
“You remember this, right?” he asked when Brian arrived.
“Yeah. Why is it here?”
“Wait, what?” I interjected. “You didn’t just do that?”
Jimmy shook his head. “I carved that into the tree in Brian’s backyard twenty years ago. I knew it would piss him off.”
There was a long pause. “What the hell...” I mumbled. Just another thing that was completely amiss, that didn’t make any sense if this had been Arturo’s realm.
“Don’t you guys think it’s a little weird that I know exactly where I’m going in here? How I was able to get us out of Arturo’s manor when Matt couldn’t? How we could kill him while I was there...and how I knew that the coffin was the entrance?” He paused, staring at the ground and kicking up little bits of dirt as he spoke. As if he was still trying to sort something out in his mind. “That house contained memories. My memories, my thoughts. I found an old snare and some sticks in one of the cupboards, from my first drum set. I didn’t tell you guys about it because I thought it didn’t mean anything at first, so we left. But I keep seeing things that are familiar. It’s like this world is something I dreamt up once. I wasn’t sure about it before, but when I found this...” He replaced his hand on the carving. “Everything here is from my imagination. I think I created this. I think I created Arturo as well.”
He started pacing, making hand gestures as he thought out loud. “I subconsciously made an enemy, a problem for me to overcome to get to Matt. Maybe it’s because I felt guilty for leaving you like that. I felt like I didn’t deserve you after bringing you so much pain, so suddenly. That explains why killing him got rid of the boundaries between our lips.” Then he looked at me, halting. “And your memory...since I thought Arturo was real, maybe I wanted to protect our memories from him. I was worried that since he controlled things here, he could take them. So I took them instead, without even realizing it. If all this is true, if I’m right, then this is actually my realm. Then that means...I can...”
He rushed toward me with renewed determination, as if he had just struck the perfect notion in his head. The solution. His hands found the sides of my jaw and he rested his forehead against mine, murmuring, “Please work, let it work, be mine again...”
I could almost feel his concentration, the little gears in his head whirring overtime just past his skin. “Work, goddammit please, do you remember...?” He stepped in closer, as if the physical connection would help, when this was really all taking place in his mind. “Please remember...take the memories back, so you can make more with me...”
I saw something. An image that flew through my conscious mind, but I felt everything. The bittersweet love of childhood, the first butterflies. “Ji-”
Another one, and this time it made my stomach so jittery that my voice caught in my throat, and I smiled so wide that my face hurt. Then all the memories bombarded my head, each one appearing for only a vivid second but overwhelming me with emotion. My eyes were open but I couldn’t see what was in front of them.
All I saw was Jimmy. All I felt was Jimmy. I felt his lips on mine, his skin against my fingertips, his hands pulling me close. His gentle caress, his passionate embrace. His love, concentrated so strongly and unconditionally in those mischievous blue eyes every time he looked at me, and expressed outwardly with every fiber of his being any chance he got.
Suddenly that perplexing, beautiful, indescribable sensation seized my whole body, my heart pounding tirelessly against my ribs as I fell in love all over again.
I grabbed his face and kissed him with all of the passion I had for him that had been pent up for months, all of it and more, and I didn’t care about anything except Jimmy because oh god I missed him. He was right here with me now and I missed him so fucking badly.
“Jimmy, I...I love you...so...I love you so much,” I stuttered out, my words becoming tangled and delayed as I tried to kiss him and speak to him at the same time. It was hard for me to let our lips part for even a second. I just kept coming back for more.
I could feel his smile against my lips as he wrapped his arms around me, but he kissed me back so timidly.
My hands were on his shoulders and I pushed him unknowingly until his back was against the tree, removing the acquisitive pressure of my mouth for a moment even though it felt like an eternity. “Don’t be afraid, Jimmy. I remember. I remember everything, and I love you with all my heart. I don’t know how I could ever forget this feeling...” I buried my face in his neck, in his scent, against his colorful skin, and just hugged him so tight that I was almost positive he couldn’t breathe and was too incredible to complain about it.
“I’m sorry for all this...” he mumbled, rubbing my back lovingly, soothingly.
“No, I’m sorry,” I contradicted almost instantly, and I moved my head to trail kisses along his jaw. “I know if you ever forgot this...I wouldn’t know what the hell to do with myself. I’d die.”
“Don’t say that,” he insisted, the adorable sensitive side of him coming out. I was usually the only one who ever saw it, which made it all the more special.
I kissed him again, my hands traveling down his sides until my thumbs rested in the waistband on his jeans. He looked at me questioningly.
“I want you,” I told him quietly, not even bothering to check if Brian was still with us. I guessed that he had most likely wandered off by now, after predicting what was coming next and knowing that he couldn’t stop us. Even if he hadn’t, at this point I wouldn’t have cared if he watched.
“Inside me,” I added in a whisper, knowing the effect of my voice as my fingers traveled to the front of his hips and brushed the half-hard limb beneath his zipper.
“Now.” I popped the button loose and lifted his shirt over his head skillfully, my hands eagerly exploring his chest as soon as it was bare. I felt his palm against the thick denim covering my groin, giving me a taste of the delicious friction I hadn’t felt in months. I yanked my shirt off as well.
“Ji-Jimmy...” I moaned between pleasured breaths, trying to loosen my pants but the fabric kept slipping between my fingers. He moved his hands to my hips and pulled me fiercely against him, his lips attacking my neck. As I felt his hard cock rub against mine, an immense wave of desire for him took over my mind and set fire to my body. “O-Ohh fuck, please..”
“You are so goddamn sexy...” he mumbled, his teeth grazing the skin below my ear. His fingers slipped between us as hot, labored breaths warmed my neck. My jeans and boxers dropped to the ground. I fumbled again to remove his, to feel the massive hardness that was his dick and feel it pushed inside me...
My thoughts distracted me and before I knew it my back was against the tree and his warm mouth was around me, the bark scratching into me as my back arched and I shuddered and screamed his name. “Oh my f-fuck...Jimmy...Jimmy god-dammit just get f-fuck...get inside me!” My nails dug into the bark, trying feebly to support me while I could hardly breathe. He pushed a finger deep into my entrance and curled it up, brushing a spot that made my knees buckle beneath me and I grabbed his hair to pull him off of my cock before I could cum. “Jimmy...I fucking want you inside me, dammit,” I begged, gazing at him with helpless desire as he rose back to my level and kissed me with surprising delicacy.
“It’s gonna hurt,” he told me softly, lovingly, placing a hand under one of my thighs and bringing it to his waist. I winced and gasped slightly as he inserted another finger, spreading them apart.
“I know, J-Jimmy,” I responded, trying unsuccessfully to catch my breath. He pulled his fingers out and spat in the same hand to lubricate himself, and then pulled my other thigh up and pressed his body tightly against mine to support me. My ankles locked around his back.
“I love you,” he whispered against my lips, and for a moment everything drowned out except the pain as he pushed inside me, stretching me to my limit. I bit into my arm until blood ran down my elbow, arms cinched tightly around his neck, muffled screams still managing to escape until he was all the way in. Then he waited, cooing my name in pleasured, soothing whispers beside my ear, but I wanted more.
I wrenched my jaws apart, disregarding the pain, and breathed, “Fuck me Jimmy, fuck me hard.”
“Are you sure..?” he started, concerned, but I kissed him fiercely and then repeated myself.
“I fucking missed you, Jimmy. Fuck me hard.”
I cried out again, louder, as he thrust into me, but only allowed him a second’s hesitation before screaming, “Don’t fucking stop, Jimmy...dammit, fuck me hard!” Because I missed this too, this burning sensation, knowing by the way his eyelashes fluttered and his tightening grip on me that I was giving him the ultimate pleasure. I missed everything about this.
I buried my face in his neck, whimpering involuntarily every time he slammed back into me, but I know my voice only turned him on more. He hit my prostate dead-on and my whole body shuddered and I moaned in pleasure against his hot skin. When the feeling faded, I looked up to see him smirking.
“Don’t fucking tease me a-anymore.” I kissed him frustratedly, biting his lip until he turned his head to respond.
“Then don’t fucking tease me either, Matt.” He thrust into me harder and I cried out, my body automatically pressing close to him. My throbbing dick was pushed against his stomach and I knew he felt it, but he hadn’t made any notion to touch me and it was driving me insane.
“Fine, asshole,” I gasped, smiling almost masochistically, as I braced myself on his shoulders and started moving my own hips with his. My eyes clenched shut and he let out continual moans of pleasure as he drove impossibly deeper into me, and now he was hitting the right spot every time until I was so deep in bliss that I couldn’t think straight, and I couldn’t stand to wait any longer.
“Fuck, Jimmy, fucking touch me..!” I breathed, every word laced with a moan of pure ecstasy as he wrapped his hand around my cock and stroked me to the same beautiful rhythm of our bodies. He said my name in my ear, letting me know by his desperate tone how close he was. I kissed the side of his face and murmured as steadily as I could, “I-I love you, Jimmy.”
His body trembled as I felt him fill me up, and I came all over the both of us, whining and moaning and touching his beautiful self in any way I could because I was way beyond Cloud Nine and oh god I was in love with him, so deeply and truly I knew a deeper emotion couldn’t exist.
We stayed still for several minutes afterward, panting, holding each other like we may have never gotten another chance. Before, I had enjoyed every minute I spend with him, but now I cherished every second because I’d found out how easily those seconds could be taken away. The content smile faded from my face as I realized that nothing had changed. This was not reality. He was still...
I couldn’t bear to finish the thought.
I winced again as he pushed his hips upward to pull out of me and set me on my feet, the pain in my ass and back and arm setting in only now that the pleasure wasn’t there to overpower it. He rested his forehead against mine, holding my hands. “I love you so much...” he murmured, and suddenly, tears welled in my eyes. I couldn’t lose this again. I couldn’t.
“Matt...?” he whispered, panic in his voice. I smiled because of it, because of how much he cared for me. Everything he did made me miss him more when he wasn’t even gone yet. I looked into his eyes and saw the worry blatantly, but it only made the tears come stronger. I couldn’t go my whole life without getting lost in those eyes again.
He put his hands on either side of my face. I placed my hand over his, treasuring the feel, trying to find the strength to speak. “I can’t...stay here...c-can I?”
In an instant he understood, and he hugged me tight. “No...but I’m staying, and you can see me every night. I’ll be right here waiting for you to start dreaming. Doesn’t it seem nice? A whole world, just for you and me...we can build it any way we want. We can still grow old together. ‘Cause I’ll always love you, Matt, and there’s no way I was going to fucking leave until you leave with me.”
He pulled back slightly to look at me, wiping the tears from my eyes.
“You...you’ll still be here?” I confirmed, doubtfully, and he nodded.
“Until the end.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
He kissed my lips as if it seal it, and the last of my fears faded away. I wanted to stay here with him forever, but somehow I knew that it was time to go.
A steady beep filled my consciousness. White light blinded me as I opened my eyes. A hospital. I turned to see Brian in the bed beside me, only just waking up as well. “The hell...?” he mumbled, dazed. A nurse stopped as she was walking past the doorway, surprise on her face, and then rushed away.
“What happened? Are we alive?” He scratched his head, looking down at the hospital robe in disgust. Then he looked up and pointed at me accusingly. “You know, I could hear you guys from halfway across the goddamn forest! Could you possibly fuck any louder?”
I heard a few familiar voices in the hall before I could respond. “What?! They’re awake?”
“Fuckers giving us a heart attack!” Johnny blurted out, much too loudly for a public establishment, and then apologized for his language. A different nurse entered the room then, followed closely by two assholes who couldn’t wait for the okay to visit. She seemed to have given up holding them back, and simply directed them to stay by the side of the room while she ran her tests. Johnny made a couple more than offensive gestures behind her back.
“How long have we been out?” I asked, after all of us recovered from a fit of laughter that the nurse couldn’t comprehend at all.
“You’ve been in a fucking coma for a month, dude!” Johnny replied, earning himself a glare. “Oops. Sorry.”
I glanced over at Brian. We had a hell of a lot of explaining to do.
El fin.
A/N: I dunno why this chapter is like three times as long as all the other ones.
Also, constructive criticism makes me very happy.
And I may decide to add an epilogue, so you want to make me happy, yes? *hint hint nudge nudge*