world caving in
So as i make a new decision in my life I realize that as it may be beneficial for current situations of my adulthood... I also notice that i'll have some alone time to myself in a hotel room to reflect on many things in this life. As much as I mat be able to handle this, I also can't bear it. The loneliness will be had once again. Although it will feel like a long overdue vacation as i will be alone... kind of like how i've spent most of this life with a few periods of time that span some months being the exception. But, even in those cherished memories, the select few that I do truly still care for and about that I assume feel they may not feel I'm worth their time. At least I'm the one who stood true to my word.
Well, I shouldn't complain really. Being alone isn't all that bad I have to realize. I don't have to worry about dead weight or being a taxi more than I should be. Don't have to encourage the unencourageable, lazy and foolish... even though I do and did. I guess being an aluminum bat to someones cranium jes isn't enough. I'm a glutton for emotional punishment... oh well. I'll continue the hopeless crusade.
Moving along from that... with my old hard drive working again I've been able to finally continue on stories i have not touched in over a year and a half. And Jesus fucking up sucking christ are my wrists hurting from the damn near non-stop typing in almost 3 weeks. Then also washing the dogs at work doesn't exactly help much either. But I got all my old music back with the exception of some. Got all of my 3rd season of Red vs Blue and Sonic X.. but no codec for the media player to actually watch them, grrrr.
So I guess I'm through waiting for anything. I'm not meant for anything good in my life, so i'm cutting my losses long and jes concetrating on my "promotion" to actually grooming the dogs. More money.
Still wrestling is something i need and have always needed. And I'll be wrestling with the homies in IWL and hopefully get bloody and jacked up. It'll be relief long overdue... physical pain to qwell the emotional pain of and for the hopefully abandoned.
"Only oneself can create many of ones problems, woes and tragedies. Everything else is jes the game you make it to be, and play to your worst." I can't remember for the death of me who told me that, buuuut, it's a message that sometimes leaves me with an "uh" feeling.
Well, regardless of me, you out there should jes be who you really are. Stop lying to yourself and saying it true. Live for fucks sake, and to the truth, be happy you still have TRUE friends somewhere and in many places. That's what I do... and one has returned, and that is my dearest suicide brother. things will look up for us all on this downside. Jes, don't be a stranger. Life is too long to plague regrets and foolish pride.
I'll still cover all these bases on my own. ::laughs:: I'll be the catcher in the rye
-pill
p.s. forget being shy goddamn it. talk to me.
Well, I shouldn't complain really. Being alone isn't all that bad I have to realize. I don't have to worry about dead weight or being a taxi more than I should be. Don't have to encourage the unencourageable, lazy and foolish... even though I do and did. I guess being an aluminum bat to someones cranium jes isn't enough. I'm a glutton for emotional punishment... oh well. I'll continue the hopeless crusade.
Moving along from that... with my old hard drive working again I've been able to finally continue on stories i have not touched in over a year and a half. And Jesus fucking up sucking christ are my wrists hurting from the damn near non-stop typing in almost 3 weeks. Then also washing the dogs at work doesn't exactly help much either. But I got all my old music back with the exception of some. Got all of my 3rd season of Red vs Blue and Sonic X.. but no codec for the media player to actually watch them, grrrr.
So I guess I'm through waiting for anything. I'm not meant for anything good in my life, so i'm cutting my losses long and jes concetrating on my "promotion" to actually grooming the dogs. More money.
Still wrestling is something i need and have always needed. And I'll be wrestling with the homies in IWL and hopefully get bloody and jacked up. It'll be relief long overdue... physical pain to qwell the emotional pain of and for the hopefully abandoned.
"Only oneself can create many of ones problems, woes and tragedies. Everything else is jes the game you make it to be, and play to your worst." I can't remember for the death of me who told me that, buuuut, it's a message that sometimes leaves me with an "uh" feeling.
Well, regardless of me, you out there should jes be who you really are. Stop lying to yourself and saying it true. Live for fucks sake, and to the truth, be happy you still have TRUE friends somewhere and in many places. That's what I do... and one has returned, and that is my dearest suicide brother. things will look up for us all on this downside. Jes, don't be a stranger. Life is too long to plague regrets and foolish pride.
I'll still cover all these bases on my own. ::laughs:: I'll be the catcher in the rye
-pill
p.s. forget being shy goddamn it. talk to me.