Friday again
Its Friday again and I'm loving the colors of the sky when our sun is setting. At once, the clouds above the neighboring house turn all pink and a fraction orange. Ohh, what a beautiful addition to the urban setting. No wonder its been and still is the object of worship. As to me. I'm busy today in all respects. I'm keeping myself busy. Balancing routine and reading with exercises. I'm planning my trip to the capital to take place on Sunday. I also hope to be back by weekend or earlier. The subwoofer is getting delivered from France, its Focal Access 10" beauty.
And for one thing, today I've had that crying mood upon my eyes. Getting sensitive here. I've accomplished something. And...I miss You, Natali. It doesn't matter that you dont read my journal, as in my dreams I know we meet often, like it was yesterday. You talked to me and really I understood completely how my patience and passion are the key to unleashing the power of my fantasy upon my life. I also remember how I mistreated you and it makes me want to cut, w/ a toothy knife, but I wont, b/c...b/c I'm enduring more pain by withdrawing from it. And that's what redemption and karma is all about, I know.
I found out that I actually wasn't expelled from the university. And you know what? It gives me a very valid reason to come back to the big city. Big city, a big part of me. Fireworks coming on the skyline again). On the practical side of it all...well...I have one more chance to do something good. What makes me feel good sis that despite my fucking up everything I literally could, my dean and the board still decided to have me. Maybe I'm romanticizing, maybe I cause them discomfort, but they just know me all too well to tell me off now. Maybe someday I do get to be a teacher. It was a good day, somewhat fulfilling. now it takes a lot of belief to turn this life around.
And for one thing, today I've had that crying mood upon my eyes. Getting sensitive here. I've accomplished something. And...I miss You, Natali. It doesn't matter that you dont read my journal, as in my dreams I know we meet often, like it was yesterday. You talked to me and really I understood completely how my patience and passion are the key to unleashing the power of my fantasy upon my life. I also remember how I mistreated you and it makes me want to cut, w/ a toothy knife, but I wont, b/c...b/c I'm enduring more pain by withdrawing from it. And that's what redemption and karma is all about, I know.
I found out that I actually wasn't expelled from the university. And you know what? It gives me a very valid reason to come back to the big city. Big city, a big part of me. Fireworks coming on the skyline again). On the practical side of it all...well...I have one more chance to do something good. What makes me feel good sis that despite my fucking up everything I literally could, my dean and the board still decided to have me. Maybe I'm romanticizing, maybe I cause them discomfort, but they just know me all too well to tell me off now. Maybe someday I do get to be a teacher. It was a good day, somewhat fulfilling. now it takes a lot of belief to turn this life around.