If I only knew
I wish I could of done more. I know he had talked to his mom not too long ago about wanting to see a herapist about being depressed. A couple of months ago he had mention something about being depressed. He had told me he didn't think moving to LA was worth moving away from me,..away from vegas. I had mention to maybe seek counseling or a therapist because of a remark he had made, not only that but he had the insurance to do so. He said no "thats for weak minded people" I should of pushed, I should of comfort him more, I should of done more. I should of not been so bitchy to him. When he moved back to LA I was upset because he left me. Even though I knew he moved back to LA so he can have a better job opportunity I still can't help but feel guilty about how sometimes I treated him after he moved. I missed him, I was selfish, I wanted him to be with me. He said we would be together soon. He wanted to come see me a week before he passed away but I said no just wait until our anniversary which was on April the 9th. I didn't want to see him because I wanted to lose 10lbs before I could see him. Until this day I should of just stopped being so insecure and told him "yes baby come see me" I really wish I could of gave him one last kiss, one last hug. one last time to sleep in his arms.