ROADIE! ROADIE FÜR NENA!
As I can't sleep, I thought I'd watch one of my old favourite comfort movies - Richy Guitar.
Richy Guitar could quite possibly be the most accurate representation of anything from the early 1980s, ever, and stars a very young Jan Vetter and Bela B. Felsenheimer - or Farin and Bela from that obnoxious band I seem to harp on about a lot, die ärzte. And you better believe this shit is good. Anything with a Nena cameo has to be Oscar material! Right?
*crickets*
Anyway. On to Berlin, 1984 style!
This is Richy. He's sleepy. And a bum with no job, but ~dreams~ of being a rock 'n' roll superstar.
Too bad his mum and dad want him to get a "real" job, right?
So Richy goes to find a job, but gets beaten up by New Wave hipsters in a photo booth.
Other New Wavers keep watch. Are you noticing how deep this film is, and how it speaks to the existentialist angst of Berlin teenagers in 1984?
Exactly.
Jobs suck, so Richy decides to do other things with his time. Like watch some blokes get chucked off a roof.
And unsuccessfully stalk a chick we later learn is Anja (she's the living end).
He runs into his best mate, Igor, who is also a hamburger on the side.
Did I mention Richy hated looking for jobs?
Luckily, Igor is on hand to play awesome music and steal ice cream for his best mate.
In case you were wondering, yes, Igor is madly in love with Richy, and yes, it's totally in the script and not a reflection of their real-life love that has endured for thirty years even after breaking up, Jenny "Evil Incarnate" Elvers, Rod being awesome and that one time they deleted Bela from bademeister.com.
*eyedart* Anyway.
Some other shit happens, like the best performance art EVER. Nothing has ever topped this, trufax.
Richy and Anja are gettin' it on, much to Igor and Sahnie's chagrin.
Oh. Yeah. Sahnie's here. He's a douchebag.
Anja's Yoko, curly-haired style.
Igor hates her, but loves eyeliner. Maybe you should pout at Richy to make him see the light and be with you always?
Atta boy.
Works everytime!
Sidenote: You know, if I hadn't been one year old, you know I would have been on a plane to marry this man.
Are you getting the feeling this film is more about the TRULUV between Igor and Richy?
Igor certainly is.
Richy and Anja moved into some condemned flats or something, and start fighting. This could possibly be the funniest thing I have ever seen. Ever.
Richy stumbles back into the warm folds of Igor's eyelined arms, because women are bitches and their love is so true and hairsprayed.
Exactly?
You know what Anja should do about this?
DANCE HER PAIN AWAY WITH FLASHES OF RICHY'S FACE!
YESSSSSSSSSSSSS. Best pain-dancing-away scene ever? Or best pain-dancing-away scene ever? THIS IS WORTH A BEST PICTURE OSCAR BY IT'S SELF. The angst at the end and the two lonely dancers = A+
Richy is sad. Igor wants to sex him make him feel better.
"Roadies! Für Nena!"
"NEEEEEHHHHHH!" Oh, Teefy McGee.
So, thanks to some bloke named Harry, they get jobs. Igor's quiff helps.
Nena sings a song!
Her keyboard dude rules the world with his shoulderpads and WERQ BITCH WERQ-ness!
Speaking of "you better werq"...
Some other shit happens, Sahnie flashes his ass, Bela's cheekbones cut cheese, the sky is blue.
They're so precious, I just can't even.
Igor stops for an eyeliner re-touch, before...
...they run away from the cops after having a show on the Autobahn and Sahnie is a douche.
Richy gets punched whilst dressed as a priest!
Igor spots an Aquacar!
YES, AN AQUACAR
Richy pouts from the bushes like a petulant child!
They go to some weirdo party and there's a bellydancer!
Igor's eyeliner creates crazy eyes!
Richy gets kicked out of his condemned flat and has to be a working stiff! Farin breaks my heart with his babyface!
Everyone is friends again!
The movie ends with this as a still scene (no, really)!
THE END
What happens after this film finishes?
1. Farin and Bela drink the blood of virgins to stay the same age for another 26 years
2. Michael Laux seemingly did his dash with this masterpiece and never directed anything significant again
3. Sahnie continued to be a douche, and was replaced by the best human ever:
YES THIS CAP MUST BE THIS LARGE AS ROD'S PRECIOUS FACE DEMANDS IT.
4. Farin + Bela (+ Rod) = Eternal OTP.
Bonus feature! lizbee and I dressed as Anja and Richy for Halloween!
Bless. <3
Richy Guitar could quite possibly be the most accurate representation of anything from the early 1980s, ever, and stars a very young Jan Vetter and Bela B. Felsenheimer - or Farin and Bela from that obnoxious band I seem to harp on about a lot, die ärzte. And you better believe this shit is good. Anything with a Nena cameo has to be Oscar material! Right?
*crickets*
Anyway. On to Berlin, 1984 style!
This is Richy. He's sleepy. And a bum with no job, but ~dreams~ of being a rock 'n' roll superstar.
Too bad his mum and dad want him to get a "real" job, right?
So Richy goes to find a job, but gets beaten up by New Wave hipsters in a photo booth.
Other New Wavers keep watch. Are you noticing how deep this film is, and how it speaks to the existentialist angst of Berlin teenagers in 1984?
Exactly.
Jobs suck, so Richy decides to do other things with his time. Like watch some blokes get chucked off a roof.
And unsuccessfully stalk a chick we later learn is Anja (she's the living end).
He runs into his best mate, Igor, who is also a hamburger on the side.
Did I mention Richy hated looking for jobs?
Luckily, Igor is on hand to play awesome music and steal ice cream for his best mate.
In case you were wondering, yes, Igor is madly in love with Richy, and yes, it's totally in the script and not a reflection of their real-life love that has endured for thirty years even after breaking up, Jenny "Evil Incarnate" Elvers, Rod being awesome and that one time they deleted Bela from bademeister.com.
*eyedart* Anyway.
Some other shit happens, like the best performance art EVER. Nothing has ever topped this, trufax.
Richy and Anja are gettin' it on, much to Igor and Sahnie's chagrin.
Oh. Yeah. Sahnie's here. He's a douchebag.
Anja's Yoko, curly-haired style.
Igor hates her, but loves eyeliner. Maybe you should pout at Richy to make him see the light and be with you always?
Atta boy.
Works everytime!
Sidenote: You know, if I hadn't been one year old, you know I would have been on a plane to marry this man.
Are you getting the feeling this film is more about the TRULUV between Igor and Richy?
Igor certainly is.
Richy and Anja moved into some condemned flats or something, and start fighting. This could possibly be the funniest thing I have ever seen. Ever.
Richy stumbles back into the warm folds of Igor's eyelined arms, because women are bitches and their love is so true and hairsprayed.
Exactly?
You know what Anja should do about this?
DANCE HER PAIN AWAY WITH FLASHES OF RICHY'S FACE!
Click to viewYESSSSSSSSSSSSS. Best pain-dancing-away scene ever? Or best pain-dancing-away scene ever? THIS IS WORTH A BEST PICTURE OSCAR BY IT'S SELF. The angst at the end and the two lonely dancers = A+
Richy is sad. Igor wants to sex him make him feel better.
"Roadies! Für Nena!"
"NEEEEEHHHHHH!" Oh, Teefy McGee.
So, thanks to some bloke named Harry, they get jobs. Igor's quiff helps.
Nena sings a song!
Her keyboard dude rules the world with his shoulderpads and WERQ BITCH WERQ-ness!
Speaking of "you better werq"...
Some other shit happens, Sahnie flashes his ass, Bela's cheekbones cut cheese, the sky is blue.
They're so precious, I just can't even.
Igor stops for an eyeliner re-touch, before...
...they run away from the cops after having a show on the Autobahn and Sahnie is a douche.
Richy gets punched whilst dressed as a priest!
Igor spots an Aquacar!
YES, AN AQUACAR
Richy pouts from the bushes like a petulant child!
They go to some weirdo party and there's a bellydancer!
Igor's eyeliner creates crazy eyes!
Richy gets kicked out of his condemned flat and has to be a working stiff! Farin breaks my heart with his babyface!
Everyone is friends again!
The movie ends with this as a still scene (no, really)!
THE END
What happens after this film finishes?
1. Farin and Bela drink the blood of virgins to stay the same age for another 26 years
2. Michael Laux seemingly did his dash with this masterpiece and never directed anything significant again
3. Sahnie continued to be a douche, and was replaced by the best human ever:
YES THIS CAP MUST BE THIS LARGE AS ROD'S PRECIOUS FACE DEMANDS IT.
4. Farin + Bela (+ Rod) = Eternal OTP.
Bonus feature! lizbee and I dressed as Anja and Richy for Halloween!
Bless. <3