50 ways to leave your lover
I love pajama parties.
They remind me of being a kid, getting up really early to see my Dad before he went to work, or being crazy excited about the weekend, or when I was ill and my Mum would let me lie on the sofa all day wrapped up like a marshmallow.
I think the best way to watch a movie (except at the cinema, of course) is in a dark room under a blanket. I like being close to the screen, I guess it feels more real. I love remembering where I was and how I felt when I first saw my favourite movies. It's like when you hear a piece of music or smell something that makes you feel completely content, like it's part of a memory or a past life, but you can't think why you know it or why it makes you feel like you do. I love that feeling.
Recently, not sure why, I was wondering what it would be like to be completely deaf. It actually made me really sad, obviously because it would be awful to lose your hearing, but mainly because I couldn't bear the thought of never hearing certain things again. Like someone's laugh, or the sound the roof in our old house used to make when it rained, and of course music. If I didn't have my music, I don't think I could function properly, I rely on it so much. Can you imagine not being able to hear yourself cry? It's terrifying. Not sure why this came to me, but there you go.
I just wanted to quickly write that I had fun last night, but I've managed to ramble on for several paragraphs. That's another scary thing about journals. I often find that I end up writing things that I didn't know I felt or thought until I've written them.
I've been thinking about my parents lately, and trying to remember what they were like a few years ago before they split. And, to be honest, I'm surprised I didn't see it coming. I suppose I was too young, too wrapped up in my teenage-angst-phase (which I'm hoping will be over any day now) to really notice, but looking back I've realised that there was never any indication of a spark, of actual love or affection between them, at least not on my Mum's side. It's got me thinking that maybe that's the way with all relationships. After a while you just get used to one another, even get bored. It becomes habit, ritual, rather than a conscious choice to be together. Maybe that's why I don't think I want to get married. What's the point? You can be in love and stay in love without being so formally attached to another person. It scares me to think that so many people are completely reliant on one other person, or a handful of people. But I suppose I am now. I'm totally dependent on my family and friends. My degree of independence is minuscule, really. I don't want to be like that, but I don't want to be alone.
They remind me of being a kid, getting up really early to see my Dad before he went to work, or being crazy excited about the weekend, or when I was ill and my Mum would let me lie on the sofa all day wrapped up like a marshmallow.
I think the best way to watch a movie (except at the cinema, of course) is in a dark room under a blanket. I like being close to the screen, I guess it feels more real. I love remembering where I was and how I felt when I first saw my favourite movies. It's like when you hear a piece of music or smell something that makes you feel completely content, like it's part of a memory or a past life, but you can't think why you know it or why it makes you feel like you do. I love that feeling.
Recently, not sure why, I was wondering what it would be like to be completely deaf. It actually made me really sad, obviously because it would be awful to lose your hearing, but mainly because I couldn't bear the thought of never hearing certain things again. Like someone's laugh, or the sound the roof in our old house used to make when it rained, and of course music. If I didn't have my music, I don't think I could function properly, I rely on it so much. Can you imagine not being able to hear yourself cry? It's terrifying. Not sure why this came to me, but there you go.
I just wanted to quickly write that I had fun last night, but I've managed to ramble on for several paragraphs. That's another scary thing about journals. I often find that I end up writing things that I didn't know I felt or thought until I've written them.
I've been thinking about my parents lately, and trying to remember what they were like a few years ago before they split. And, to be honest, I'm surprised I didn't see it coming. I suppose I was too young, too wrapped up in my teenage-angst-phase (which I'm hoping will be over any day now) to really notice, but looking back I've realised that there was never any indication of a spark, of actual love or affection between them, at least not on my Mum's side. It's got me thinking that maybe that's the way with all relationships. After a while you just get used to one another, even get bored. It becomes habit, ritual, rather than a conscious choice to be together. Maybe that's why I don't think I want to get married. What's the point? You can be in love and stay in love without being so formally attached to another person. It scares me to think that so many people are completely reliant on one other person, or a handful of people. But I suppose I am now. I'm totally dependent on my family and friends. My degree of independence is minuscule, really. I don't want to be like that, but I don't want to be alone.