Impatience and other things
Inspired to write in this old thing again by an old friend. A lot of things have happened since my last update, and every day I am enthralled by the overwhelming sense of movement I feel. We (my family and I) are being pulled by mystical forces away from a boring life. We're really moving overseas this time next year. This has been in the making for a long time, but over the past year and currently we have been making real efforts to get the fuck out of here.
Giving birth to Uta ignited this sense of urgency and purpose, and everything has been better and more interesting since we decided on our goal to live in Berlin. Every day I cast another spell and project my will across this vast globe, and every day i know that i belong somewhere else. We're getting rid of most of our stuff. All nonessentials are being sold, gifted, or tossed. It's liberating.
Being with Uta and planning for our journey is what drives my living currently. It seems silly to try to express to my technological device how profound being a mama is, how much I adore this kid and how my sense of sensing everything has changed. So I won't really try. She's a force though. She picked a tarot card the other night, and it was the sun, alright?
And I'm still drawing quite a few swords along with the chariot and the world. I feel like I'm finally making some progress with my severe anxiety and episodes of fearfulness. I've told some people that can help me some serious stuff. Accepted some other serious stuff. Hjjjjkkddsjjkkln, you know. It's late. I've got to write an essay auf deutsch tonight and meditate on a paintbrush.
Gute nacht.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.