Uber Driver Stories #2
1. The Recruiting Menace
So it was a nice Saturday evening and I was going out to have some dinner with the boys. I hailed a ride and eventually did the usual "hello so and so, I'm such and such". As things go sometimes drivers like chit chat to make things go by faster, which I'm ok with. I don't mind small-talk as it's very easy to navigate and can sometimes dig into a deeper conversation that's engaging to me.
The driver is a woman, probably in her early to mid 20's. Her vehicle was a red tesla car, I fucking hate the stupid ass handles on those cars. It's like you need a degree in esoteric physics just to open the door. I asked her how the ridership was for that day, but she sidesteps and says that she only does Uber not as a job but "as a way to recruit people", which instantly gave me cult vibes.
I then realize, for maybe the third time in my life riding Uber, I may actually be in danger. She then asks me what I do for work, and I respond with I don't like talking about work. It gets silent. She then puts on some techno at a reasonable volume and the ride was just very awkward. Of course, I can always just retreat into my thoughts easily and entertain myself easily.
Departure at destination was so very welcome.
2. A Stink Across Two Cities
Here's another story about a chick who drives a tesla. Except this tesla was white, but what can you do? First impressions upon approach, this car is beat the hell up. and looks like it has salt water damage on it's uncovered wheel hubs. Upon opening the door, I'm met by a blast of the foulest odor I've smelled in a while.
Now, let me tell you, I've smelled some nasty things in my life. I know the smell of dead rotting animals, rancid garbage that's been left to rot in the sun, the smell of homeless people who reek of BO, shit, and depression, the smell of hot sweaty ass mixed with sex, the smell of piss soaked and shit covered city streets in the morning, the smell of I don't know who or whats shit spattered on me by a weed whacker.
Ok, now this chick probably smelled like three quarters of that paragraph all mixed together and contained within this beat to shit tesla. And somehow I feel like that doesn't do her stink justice. Being the polite person I am, I just accepted that I committed to riding in the literal musk-mobile. Upon sitting in the car all I could think of was just trying to imagine being somewhere else.
The stink occasionally invading my thoughts with it's evil presence. I like to joke around that such smells are caused by evil spirits. Who knows? Maybe I'm actually onto something. Because, God damn, I was in hell for 12 minutes. I remember at one point I was a few seconds shy of praying for death so I wouldn't have to smell that fucking rancid ass shit stink anymore.
Yeah her huge ass, and it was huge I promise you, would probably just push out my lifeless corpse at my destination with her grab all stick and leave like nothing happened but let it be known that I died as I lived. I want my gravestone to read...
Here lies some random jackoff
who tried to make a few dollars
to eat and pay his bills.
Anywho, an excruciatingly quiet ride made odd by weird EDM with some song about a chick who wished she was a dude so that she could be taken serious or something. I was for sure taking this chick seriously. She seriously didn't believe in hygiene at any level. Before you think I'm some heartless bastard, she was really nice at least and I left her a five star rating and a tip.
She got me there on time and alive. That's what really matters. The second I was out of that car the words of the Rv. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. echoed in my head, "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last!"
3. The Talented Mr. Aiden
Our last story is more just interesting since this man was probably in his mid thirties and drove a nice new Toyota. I forget how it got the point in conversation but he detailed how he got into Uber driving about seven years ago when Uber first came to San Antonio, TX. He had detailed that at that time Uber was pretty revolutionary then and he'd only got into it because a friend of his urged him to.
His friend worked for Uber and was responsible for branch office duties and the like. So this being a new thing, Aiden was like "sounds cool, I'll try it out." And of course, there he and I were. The culmination of the decision to drive and to hail a ride. He lamented that he was paid more as a driver in the past, about 80% of riders don't tip and a typical $15 ride he gets, he only gets paid about a little under half, whereas before he'd make a little over half.
Nice guy, hoping he continues fighting the good fight.
pics-stuff signing off for now.
So it was a nice Saturday evening and I was going out to have some dinner with the boys. I hailed a ride and eventually did the usual "hello so and so, I'm such and such". As things go sometimes drivers like chit chat to make things go by faster, which I'm ok with. I don't mind small-talk as it's very easy to navigate and can sometimes dig into a deeper conversation that's engaging to me.
The driver is a woman, probably in her early to mid 20's. Her vehicle was a red tesla car, I fucking hate the stupid ass handles on those cars. It's like you need a degree in esoteric physics just to open the door. I asked her how the ridership was for that day, but she sidesteps and says that she only does Uber not as a job but "as a way to recruit people", which instantly gave me cult vibes.
I then realize, for maybe the third time in my life riding Uber, I may actually be in danger. She then asks me what I do for work, and I respond with I don't like talking about work. It gets silent. She then puts on some techno at a reasonable volume and the ride was just very awkward. Of course, I can always just retreat into my thoughts easily and entertain myself easily.
Departure at destination was so very welcome.
2. A Stink Across Two Cities
Here's another story about a chick who drives a tesla. Except this tesla was white, but what can you do? First impressions upon approach, this car is beat the hell up. and looks like it has salt water damage on it's uncovered wheel hubs. Upon opening the door, I'm met by a blast of the foulest odor I've smelled in a while.
Now, let me tell you, I've smelled some nasty things in my life. I know the smell of dead rotting animals, rancid garbage that's been left to rot in the sun, the smell of homeless people who reek of BO, shit, and depression, the smell of hot sweaty ass mixed with sex, the smell of piss soaked and shit covered city streets in the morning, the smell of I don't know who or whats shit spattered on me by a weed whacker.
Ok, now this chick probably smelled like three quarters of that paragraph all mixed together and contained within this beat to shit tesla. And somehow I feel like that doesn't do her stink justice. Being the polite person I am, I just accepted that I committed to riding in the literal musk-mobile. Upon sitting in the car all I could think of was just trying to imagine being somewhere else.
The stink occasionally invading my thoughts with it's evil presence. I like to joke around that such smells are caused by evil spirits. Who knows? Maybe I'm actually onto something. Because, God damn, I was in hell for 12 minutes. I remember at one point I was a few seconds shy of praying for death so I wouldn't have to smell that fucking rancid ass shit stink anymore.
Yeah her huge ass, and it was huge I promise you, would probably just push out my lifeless corpse at my destination with her grab all stick and leave like nothing happened but let it be known that I died as I lived. I want my gravestone to read...
Here lies some random jackoff
who tried to make a few dollars
to eat and pay his bills.
Anywho, an excruciatingly quiet ride made odd by weird EDM with some song about a chick who wished she was a dude so that she could be taken serious or something. I was for sure taking this chick seriously. She seriously didn't believe in hygiene at any level. Before you think I'm some heartless bastard, she was really nice at least and I left her a five star rating and a tip.
She got me there on time and alive. That's what really matters. The second I was out of that car the words of the Rv. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. echoed in my head, "free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last!"
3. The Talented Mr. Aiden
Our last story is more just interesting since this man was probably in his mid thirties and drove a nice new Toyota. I forget how it got the point in conversation but he detailed how he got into Uber driving about seven years ago when Uber first came to San Antonio, TX. He had detailed that at that time Uber was pretty revolutionary then and he'd only got into it because a friend of his urged him to.
His friend worked for Uber and was responsible for branch office duties and the like. So this being a new thing, Aiden was like "sounds cool, I'll try it out." And of course, there he and I were. The culmination of the decision to drive and to hail a ride. He lamented that he was paid more as a driver in the past, about 80% of riders don't tip and a typical $15 ride he gets, he only gets paid about a little under half, whereas before he'd make a little over half.
Nice guy, hoping he continues fighting the good fight.
pics-stuff signing off for now.