to his FACE, motherfuckers
Nobody has knife fights anymore. Why the hell is that?
Man, when I was a kid everyone had a knife. Even my 3rd-grade teacher kept a big ol' buck-skinner in his drawer. One flash of that thing when the students acted up & there was no more trouble. Back in the old days, there was a knife fight every other day in the park, or along the train tracks. The cops didn't even care -- the way they saw it, we were lowering the crime rate. A kid got slashed or stabbed, it meant they'd be off the street for a little while, making their jobs easier.
How I long for those halcyon days of knife-fighting.
Guns are more popular with the kids these days. They have no idea what they're missing out on. How much cooler does it looks when you slice a guy's throat open? It's so graceful, so physical, so impressive. Chicks want to nail a guy who wins a knife fight. Guns are more effective, sure - but all it takes is pulling a trigger. Unimpressive. When you win a knife fight, you're sweaty, your shirt's torn, you've got blood spatters on you -- that's fucking sexy.
But we live in America, where you're encouraged to be unsexy & to take the easy way out. So the weaklings get their guns and they get a government that lets them carry around a lot of them. These ignorant hicks really think they're *MORE* manly by having a bunch of guns. They do not understand the opposite is true. Besides being conned into wasting their money on more firepower than they need, any REAL man knows you can't depend on any one thing too much. You need to "diversify your portfolio." But no, they buy a bunch of guns, hit the range with 'em now & then, and think they're good. Morons.
Ever seen those guys? They're all almost all fat, old, white & generally soft. I guess they must know it subconsciously; What else would motivate that kind of wacky gun-hoarding? Secondly, once you've got all your eggs in one basket like that, it makes you LESS effective in a bad situation, not more.
So you think you're all set, Mr. Scary Gundude? What happens when a deep cut to your wrist or forearm severs a few tendons? How about if I put a knife through your hand, or slice off some fingers? Can't pull a trigger then, can ya tough guy? Kinda hard to shoot accurately without a proper stance, too -- can you keep that stance when I stab you in the thigh? Hey, do you shoot something you can't see? Cuz that's what you'll have to do if I slash you across the eyes.
It's an inverse relationship: The more guns you have, the less of a man you are. If you want a few cuz you like hunting or target shooting, or for home defense, that's great. If you're buying up tons of guns because you fear attack, then you're a pathetic little weakling who doesn't have the balls to hit a gym or a dojo.
I know this for certain, because I went up to one of those idiot "teabagger" protestors who was flashing his pistol in a holster under his jacket. He had a big grin while he did it, too. Boy, he ate up the nods of approval those old wrinkly fucks with the "Korea Veteran" hats. So I made myself known as a "radical leftist" and let him know only closet fags carry those things. He blanched. I called him a fag again, then I dared him to point it at me. Neither he nor his creepy old friends said a word. They just stared. So I said, "That's what I thought, fag" and walked away. (I must admit, I was really scared he'd shoot me in the back like the coward
he was.)
So yeah -- guns are for wimps. QED.
Man, when I was a kid everyone had a knife. Even my 3rd-grade teacher kept a big ol' buck-skinner in his drawer. One flash of that thing when the students acted up & there was no more trouble. Back in the old days, there was a knife fight every other day in the park, or along the train tracks. The cops didn't even care -- the way they saw it, we were lowering the crime rate. A kid got slashed or stabbed, it meant they'd be off the street for a little while, making their jobs easier.
How I long for those halcyon days of knife-fighting.
Guns are more popular with the kids these days. They have no idea what they're missing out on. How much cooler does it looks when you slice a guy's throat open? It's so graceful, so physical, so impressive. Chicks want to nail a guy who wins a knife fight. Guns are more effective, sure - but all it takes is pulling a trigger. Unimpressive. When you win a knife fight, you're sweaty, your shirt's torn, you've got blood spatters on you -- that's fucking sexy.
But we live in America, where you're encouraged to be unsexy & to take the easy way out. So the weaklings get their guns and they get a government that lets them carry around a lot of them. These ignorant hicks really think they're *MORE* manly by having a bunch of guns. They do not understand the opposite is true. Besides being conned into wasting their money on more firepower than they need, any REAL man knows you can't depend on any one thing too much. You need to "diversify your portfolio." But no, they buy a bunch of guns, hit the range with 'em now & then, and think they're good. Morons.
Ever seen those guys? They're all almost all fat, old, white & generally soft. I guess they must know it subconsciously; What else would motivate that kind of wacky gun-hoarding? Secondly, once you've got all your eggs in one basket like that, it makes you LESS effective in a bad situation, not more.
So you think you're all set, Mr. Scary Gundude? What happens when a deep cut to your wrist or forearm severs a few tendons? How about if I put a knife through your hand, or slice off some fingers? Can't pull a trigger then, can ya tough guy? Kinda hard to shoot accurately without a proper stance, too -- can you keep that stance when I stab you in the thigh? Hey, do you shoot something you can't see? Cuz that's what you'll have to do if I slash you across the eyes.
It's an inverse relationship: The more guns you have, the less of a man you are. If you want a few cuz you like hunting or target shooting, or for home defense, that's great. If you're buying up tons of guns because you fear attack, then you're a pathetic little weakling who doesn't have the balls to hit a gym or a dojo.
I know this for certain, because I went up to one of those idiot "teabagger" protestors who was flashing his pistol in a holster under his jacket. He had a big grin while he did it, too. Boy, he ate up the nods of approval those old wrinkly fucks with the "Korea Veteran" hats. So I made myself known as a "radical leftist" and let him know only closet fags carry those things. He blanched. I called him a fag again, then I dared him to point it at me. Neither he nor his creepy old friends said a word. They just stared. So I said, "That's what I thought, fag" and walked away. (I must admit, I was really scared he'd shoot me in the back like the coward
he was.)
So yeah -- guns are for wimps. QED.