My lack of a therapist makes me resort to this

Jul 24, 2008 00:01

I need a lot of help. I guess I need to help myself. I wish I was born into money. I have problems with spending money. I don't want to go back to school. I don't know what's wrong with me. What am I doing? I'm meaningless right now. I want to be able to buy what I want and get an apartment, but I don't want to go to school. I don't think it helps that I don't know what I want to go to school for.
I got to go in the back room with Josh today and talk to him about Andrew. He seriously wanted to know what Andrew had been saying to me. He had a smile/smirk on his face the whole time. I didn't want to tell him that he wanted to "cum all inside me." I wonder what he would have said. I wish I could just stop liking him. It really frustrates me. I really hate it when I like guys because no other guys matter except the ones I like. That's probably why I told on Andrew. I don't know what to do. I don't think my medicine is working anymore. I want to stop thinking about him for a day. I just wish a guy would walk into my life and sweep me off my feet. I wouldn't have to worry about him working with me or anything. It would be awesome if I did something besides work. Then, I could meet more people. I guess I should stick to online.

When I think about it, I don't even think I'd want my boyfriend talking to me about cumming inside of me. I've never said or heard anything like that to Chris and I've known him for 2 years.
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