mood morning
So, this is what it feels like to wake up with a mood:
like not much. you wake up and it's sort of: intellectually you know you have to do things, but you kind of sit around/lay around. and then you "fuck you, mood" your way into getting clothes on, but then you ... sit around, because what's the point in doing things? and then you "fuck you, mood" your way into getting over to the computer, and open an LJ to write things, but then you ... sit around, because what the hell, all your posts are like this nowadays, what's new? you're just going to worry people.
and you determine early you should go to the gym, but before that you need to take a fish oil, but you don't particular feel like putting things in your stomach - you just do, and while it tastes good, you're thinking "well that's why I need to get to the gym since I've sat around earting all week" and then ever five minutes your body's like "but fuck, going to the gym is all active and shit. why do we have to do that shit? I'm le tired. I'm bored. I don't wanna." and you can't tell whether this is normal resistance (bodies beign lazy) or whether it's Mood-induced.
and then you write an LJ and feel like "what the fuck am I writing this for?"
~:~
this mood right now is not heavy one - 1-10 I'd classify it as a 3.5-to-4; it's fight-offable-but-persistant - but it is sticky, like fog.
right now I am taking 3 300mg fish oil tabs, on top of a brekfist of dried dates, dried strawberries, and a corner of peppermint bark. I am going to wait until 8.45, then go out, run a couple loops of the soccer field, then go to the gym and lift - light, today, just get back into it. I will then go home, clean up, then spend the rest of the morning at a cafe, studying. maybe I'll write, if I can. just 500 words. Then I'll go downtown (in a sleeveless, because I don't want my summer skin to fade) and read/study in some park or cafe there.
I will NOT come back after the gym, hop on the computer, and be there all day. Because I did that yesterday. And yes, excuses excuses, I was reading something, but you know what? Fuck excuses.
why, brain chemicals.
like not much. you wake up and it's sort of: intellectually you know you have to do things, but you kind of sit around/lay around. and then you "fuck you, mood" your way into getting clothes on, but then you ... sit around, because what's the point in doing things? and then you "fuck you, mood" your way into getting over to the computer, and open an LJ to write things, but then you ... sit around, because what the hell, all your posts are like this nowadays, what's new? you're just going to worry people.
and you determine early you should go to the gym, but before that you need to take a fish oil, but you don't particular feel like putting things in your stomach - you just do, and while it tastes good, you're thinking "well that's why I need to get to the gym since I've sat around earting all week" and then ever five minutes your body's like "but fuck, going to the gym is all active and shit. why do we have to do that shit? I'm le tired. I'm bored. I don't wanna." and you can't tell whether this is normal resistance (bodies beign lazy) or whether it's Mood-induced.
and then you write an LJ and feel like "what the fuck am I writing this for?"
~:~
this mood right now is not heavy one - 1-10 I'd classify it as a 3.5-to-4; it's fight-offable-but-persistant - but it is sticky, like fog.
right now I am taking 3 300mg fish oil tabs, on top of a brekfist of dried dates, dried strawberries, and a corner of peppermint bark. I am going to wait until 8.45, then go out, run a couple loops of the soccer field, then go to the gym and lift - light, today, just get back into it. I will then go home, clean up, then spend the rest of the morning at a cafe, studying. maybe I'll write, if I can. just 500 words. Then I'll go downtown (in a sleeveless, because I don't want my summer skin to fade) and read/study in some park or cafe there.
I will NOT come back after the gym, hop on the computer, and be there all day. Because I did that yesterday. And yes, excuses excuses, I was reading something, but you know what? Fuck excuses.
why, brain chemicals.