fanfiction: slushpile romance, modern literary agency au, wip (3/3)
Title: Slushpile Romance, Chapter Three
Fandom: Merlin
Rating: NC-17. Porny porny porn occurs.
Word count: This part 8,969. Which brings us up to about 20k in total.
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur Pendragon is the golden boy literary agent at Paterson & Oriel. But then Merlin Emrys, master of the slush-pile and all around fiction wizard is recruited. Arthur is a knob. Merlin is adorable. And then feelings happen.
Disclaimer: Merlin et al are not mine. The literary agents herein are in no way based on myself or my colleagues. Although we do have an office dog.
Previous parts: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO
'You ready then?' Merlin smiled, jokingly holding his elbow out for Arthur to take it.
'Ha ha. Ha.' Seriously, Arthur's collar was trying to strangle him on a daily basis at the moment. He ran a sweaty finger round it and then gave up, pulled his tie off and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his Ralph Lauren shirt.
Merlin quirked an eyebrow, 'Is that Sloaney-casual or something? Tie off and two buttons undone?'
Arthur couldn't help laughing, even though he didn't want to. 'Better than looking like an overgrown work experience kid,' he taunted, looking pointedly up and down at Merlin's outfit, lingering on his Converse.
A flush stained Merlin's cheekbones then, travelling down his neck. Arthur found himself wondering idly how far down it went.
'Gordon's awaits, Merlin, after you...' The last thing Arthur saw before the lift-doors shut was Gwen's smirking face. He could have sworn she mouthed, 'Enjoy your date,' to him.
'Nice of you to invite me out for a drink,' Merlin said. 'Morgana put you up to it?'
'Maybe,' Arthur admitted.
'What's she got over you then?' Arthur noticed Merlin's dimples for the first time. It made him feel weird in the pit of his stomach. He busied himself checking his Blackberry instead. He had a narky email from Flora. Great.
Merlin clicked his fingers in front of Arthur's face, 'Oi, leave your Blackberry - I'm right here. Seriously, put it away, it's 7pm.'
'Sorry, sorry,' Arthur put his phone away, 'it's hard to break the habit of a lifetime.' The lift dinged and he gestured for Merlin to go in front of him. 'Morgana, well, we've just known each other for a really long time. My Dad's her god-father. Wherever I go there she is, being all supercilious and glamorous and telling me off for being a complete dickhead. She went to Oxford with me, and then there were a blessed few years when she lived in New York before she came back and took a job here.'
Merlin waved at the security guard on the desk, 'Night Jon.'
Arthur looked aghast, 'How do you know him?'
Merlin shrugged, 'I just say hi to him each day. Nice guy.'
Arthur shook his head.
The streets outside their office were thronged with tourists, enjoying the unseasonably sunny warm weather. 'Fucking tourists,' Arthur muttered, picking his way through them. 'They should only be allowed to walk in the road until they learn to use the pavements in single-file.'
'You're a very angry person, do you know that?' Merlin said, squeezing through the crowds, refusing to use the 'head down, elbows out' approach that Arthur preferred.
'I'm not a very angry person,' Arthur frowned. He grabbed Merlin's wrist and towed him through the middle of a particularly bunched up knot of German schoolchildren. 'AUS DEM WEG!' he bellowed at them.
'Okay,' he admitted reluctantly, feeling rather than seeing Merlin's pointed look, 'perhaps I am a little angry. But there's a lot to get angry about.' He reached the door of Gordon's, sighing with relief at leaving the tourists behind. It was blissfully cool inside and he found himself automatically flirting with the barmaid and ordering them a bottle of Pinot Noir. He grabbed the secluded booth that he normally used to seduce young women into errors of judgement. There'd probably be a lot less footsie than normal tonight. Or would there be, he thought, suddenly. Fucking Gwen, planting ideas into his mind.
'Well,' he said, smiling awkwardly at Merlin, Gwen's words still ringing through his head.
'Well,' Merlin echoed, looking curiously across at Arthur who again (again!) found himself tongue-tied and awkward.
'How are you finding the office?' he settled on eventually. Neutral. Casual. Good.
Merlin shrugged, 'It's a bit too early to tell. It's very different to CW.'
Arthur, who had never worked at another agency leaned in. 'Go on.'
'God, what is it about you that makes me feel like I'm indulging in industrial espionage?' Merlin rolled his eyes. 'CW is quite a... sweet agency. Claire and James are old-school and very nice, and they never poach clients, or try new projects, or anything like that. They have their established authors, who make them huge amounts of money, and they never experiment. Paterson & Oriel is more corporate, and more dynamic. It's certainly bigger.'
'What do you think of the people?' Arthur was intrigued, pouring Merlin a full glass of wine.
'Peter is phenomenal. I like how spunky Camilla is - I think she's good for him. Oleander is terrifying.'
Arthur nodded, 'She made a pass at me once.'
Merlin choked on his wine, hacked for a while into his napkin. 'Seriously?' the tips of his ears had gone pink. It was rather adorable, Arthur thought, before cursing Gwen once more.
'Sadly, yes. We were at the Groucho and I was only twenty-five,' he admitted. 'She put her hand on my crotch under the table and squeezed.'
'And then what?' Merlin's mouth had fallen open, he leaned right across the table as if desperate to hear.
'My balls crawled so far up inside me they still haven't dropped back down.' It was Arthur's go-to image whenever he wanted to subdue an unwanted erection or stop himself coming too quickly.
Merlin snorted, 'And how did you get out of it?' He paused, horror suddenly on his face, 'You did get out of it, right?'
'It was my first week,' Arthur said. 'For one moment I thought I'd have to go through with it. Then common sense reasserted itself, I got up really suddenly and went to the toilet and when I came back she'd gone. It was never mentioned again.'
'Bloody hell, lucky escape.' Merlin looked a little queasy.
'Come on, spill the beans on everyone else...' Arthur encouraged, knocking back his wine with a sigh, feeling himself unwinding. It was a relief not obsessing over his Blackberry for once, truth be told.
'I like all of the assistants. Gwen's going to be a cracking agent one day.' He met Arthur's glare head on. 'You know I'm right and you'd do better talking to her about it and bringing her on yourself rather than losing her to someone else.'
Arthur hung his head, 'Let's change the subject,' which was code for 'I know you're right but will never admit it.'
'What do you think of Morgana?'
'Beautiful, smart, a little bit crazy but in a good way. I hope that doesn't offend you?'
'No, it's a good description. But you left someone out.'
'I did?' Merlin looked quizzical. 'Puff the pug you mean?'
'No, me.'
'Oh, right,' Merlin smirked around his wine. 'Can we get another bottle?' he waved the waitress over.
'You're just playing for time,' Arthur said flatly. He felt curiously nervous.
'Yup,' Merlin agreed amicably.
'So..?' Arthur asked.
'You're incredibly rude to your assistant,' Merlin said lightly. 'You bully all of the junior staff, even those who've slept with you, especially those who've slept with you,' he corrected himself. 'You've shagged half the female editors in London and you spend half of your life hungover.' He paused. 'But you're also incredibly smart, impressively talented, and I think you're a good person pretending to be a bad one. So, I haven't really made my mind up yet.' He tilted his chin up, met Arthur's eyes.
'I'd like to be your friend,' he said, casually. 'Very much. I like the Arthur I think you can be. But the one I've seen around the office has been a twat a lot of the time.'
Arthur didn't really know what to say. He'd had accusations like that thrown at him before, but they'd always been in the heat of the argument, from rah girlfriends who'd caught him shagging around, or other agents whose clients he'd stolen. Never from someone calm, and cool, who told him that they wanted him to be a better person.
'More wine,' he muttered to himself, and with shaking hands poured himself some more. He basically necked the glass before he felt able to meet Merlin's eyes again. 'I'm not going to excuse myself,' he said, feeling caught in that intent blue gaze. 'I can be an arsehole. My Dad's an arsehole too so I suppose it's in my blood. I've had everything in life come easy to me and when everyone around you tells you how good you are it can go to your head.'
'I can imagine,' Merlin shrugged, pouring himself more wine. 'It's much easier not to be a dick when no one around you tells you how good you are.' His smile was self-deprecating.
'You know how good you are. Nominated for Literary Agent of the Year, remember? And you're how old?'
'Twenty-eight,' Merlin admitted.
'Fuck me. How old were you when you made agent?'
'Twenty-four,' Merlin said. 'I graduated from Uni when I was just 21, did a year at Abinger's Sons, quit to become Claire Charterhouse's assistant and did that for a year, got promoted to associate, then full agent at twenty-four. And what about you?'
Arthur normally glossed over this part but decided to be honest for once. 'Graduated with a 2.i from Oxford in History and started at my Dad's company as an editorial assistant. I was a commissioning editor by 24 and I left at 25 to become an agent at Paterson & Oriel.'
'From editorial assistant to commissioning editor in two years?' Merlin said. 'Impressive.'
'Not really, is it,' Arthur said moodily. 'I worked for my Dad. He basically had to promote me.'
Everyone had heard of Uther Pendragon, MD of Pendragon Press, one of the 'big four' London publishers. He had been married twice, was a regular in the Evening Standard's society pages, and had an address book that was the envy of everyone in London. It was a testament to Arthur's talent that he was just now poking his head out of his Dad's shadow. But he'd be lying if he said he'd got there on his own. Some of the other editorial assistants from when he'd started were only just making it to commissioning editor now, and he'd been no more talented than they were. And far, far less hard-working.
'Yeah but you wouldn't be making the money you are now if you weren't good. Your Dad's name opened some doors for you initially. But now it's you on your own and you're good at your job. Honestly, you're going to do great things one day.' Arthur looked for mockery in Merlin's blue eyes but there was none. He was earnest.
You sound like a fortune teller,' Arthur scoffed, but he couldn't help smiling to himself and proposing a toast. 'To Merlin and Arthur. To greatness.'
'To greatness,' Merlin agreed, clinking his glass against Arthur's.
***
Arthur groaned when he woke up the next morning. He had the distinct feeling that if he opened his eyes he'd immediately start vomiting so kept them closed and felt around for his dressing-gown. 'Leon?' he called out. 'I think I'm feverish. Honestly, I've come down with something awful.'
There was a cool hand on his forehead then, 'I'm pretty sure you're not ill. You're just massively hungover.'
'Merlin?' Arthur leaped up, his insides protested and he was finally forced to open his eyes in order to find the bathroom.
'Second door on the left,' Merlin called.
Arthur was sick for what felt like days. He hadn't eaten dinner, he remembered. Oh sure they'd stumbled into Maccy Ds at 3am but by that point he'd had a bottle and a half of wine and a Big Mac and chips wasn't going to soak that up. Then they'd ended up back at Merlin's which was this cool split-level flat in Camden and then they'd opened a bottle of gin and the rest of the night was a blur. Arthur vaguely remembered Guitar Hero and a heated argument over which of Jilly Cooper's books was her best which he was planning on denying all knowledge of. Although it was definitely Riders, Merlin was mental if he thought it was topped by Polo. Pfft, where was that famed 'eye for fiction' now?
'What time is it?' he croaked out, once he'd finished heaving.
'Seven o'clock.'
'Then what the fuck are we doing out of bed? I could get away with at least another three hours and still make it in for our lit meeting.'
'My boyfriend's coming over to study at 8am and he's liable to assume the worst if he finds a good-looking guy passed out in my bed.'
There were so many things wrong with that sentence that Arthur had to break it down into pieces in order to process it:
1) My boyfriend? Since when did Merlin have a boyfriend? Bloody cheek not to mention it, that's what that was.
2) To study - what was he, 12?
3) Had Merlin called him goodlooking? Arthur thrilled like a heroine in a Mills & Boon novel.
4) So he'd spent the night in Merlin's bed had he?
He obviously didn't say any of this out loud, letting the silence stretch out so long that Merlin poked his head around the door. 'You alright in there, Pendragon? I thought you might've choked on your own vomit.'
Merlin looked all too perky for Arthur's liking. He looked clean, his skin looked good, he was freshly dressed in a shirt and jeans, and he was eating an apple.
'I feel like a pig shat in my head,' Arthur said, with a grimace, spitting in the sink. 'Toothbrush?'
'Erm, I've got a spare somewhere,' Merlin rummaged under his sink.
'Why, get lots of good-looking young men unexpectedly spending the night?' Arthur winked, before abruptly realising that all he was wearing was his boxers. He yelped, covered himself like a blushing virgin. 'Did I-' he swallowed. 'Did you-'
'I slept in the spare room,' Merlin said. 'Don't flatter yourself, Pendragon, I like my men sober.' He handed Arthur the toothbrush. 'You've got to get out of here in approximately thirty-seven minutes. There's a spare towel but I don't think my clothes will fit you.'
'Are you calling me fat?' Arthur bristled, indignantly, still trying to cover his entire torso with his hands.
Merlin skated his eyes over his chest, 'Not fat,' he said, eventually, with a grin. 'Just bulky.' There was something about Merlin's eyes on his skin that made Arthur prickle with interest. Part of him wanted to stand here and flirt; part of him was still reeling from boyfriend and studying and goodlooking; a bigger part of him still wanted to throw up.
'I'll leave you to it then, try not to be too long. I'm going to make coffee - do you want one?'
Arthur shook his head, 'Water, please. Alkaseltzer?'
Merlin smirked, 'Sure.'
'Wait,' Arthur said, as he turned to leave. 'How come you're so full of the joys of spring this morning, hmm?'
Merlin shrugged, 'I don't know. I just drank a lot of water before bed.' He turned to leave, calling over his shoulder, 'And maybe I can just take my booze better than you can.'
Once the door was shut Arthur jumped into the shower, enjoying the feel of the hot water washing away the sweat and alcohol which seemed to be leaking from his every pore. So Merlin had a boyfriend. But he thought Arthur was good-looking. Why did Arthur even care? He ducked his head under the spray. He didn't remember much of last night bar the Jilly Cooper argument and Guitar Hero. A sudden sliver of horror shot up through his spine then - had he told Merlin where he knew him from? They'd been talking about shit clubs, he vaguely remembered, as they stumbled out of Gordon's at closing time, oh god, had he suggested they go on to G-A-Y? Had he?
He paused, horror-struck. He just couldn't remember, that was the problem. As he rinsed Merlin's girly-smelling shampoo from his hair he talked himself down from his paranoia spiral. He hadn't told Merlin. He definitely hadn't. As far as Merlin remembered, Arthur was straight as a fucking die. And why would Merlin ever think otherwise? Everything about Arthur said 'womanizer', from the office gossip, down to the fact that Miss Rose Snow - the anonymous literary agent/gossip columnist - had given him her Casanova of the Year 2010 Award. An award she had created just for him.
By the time Arthur was cleaned up and dressed in his crinkled clothes downstairs he had convinced himself that he hadn't said a word. 'I'd better get out before your boyfriend sees me,' he winked at Merlin, the Alkaseltzer fizzing comfortingly in his stomach. 'Although I'm slightly worried as to how young he's got to be if he's coming over to revise? What are we talking here - A-levels? Uni?'
'He's doing his accountancy exams,' Merlin said, rolling his eyes. 'His house is far too noisy to study. He's twenty-six, Arthur.'
'Ah, you like a younger man then,' Arthur's grin felt forced, unnatural.
'Not always,' Merlin said, consideringly, sipping his coffee. 'Sometimes I find an older man irresistible.'
Was he flirting, Arthur wondered. No. No way. 'Well, thanks for letting me stay,' he said awkwardly.
'I didn't really have much choice,' there were those dimples in his cheek again, and there went the pit of Arthur's stomach. 'You stripped off, crawled in and passed out. I'm starting to wonder if that Casanova of the Year Award was particularly well-deserved.'
Arthur blushed and busied himself putting his coat and shoes on, and looking anywhere but Merlin's knowing smile. 'Well, I'll see you in the office later, yeah?'
'Yeah,' Merlin nodded eagerly. 'And thanks Arthur, I had a really good night. Well, up until the final gin & tonic when I started to feel a little bit... ropey.' He winced, rubbed his temples.
'See you later,' Arthur grabbed his briefcase - thank god he hadn't left it anywhere - and let himself out, blinking into the sunshine.
***
The next week and a half was a blur for Arthur. Everywhere he went Merlin seemed to be. Smiling, laughing, making jokes, endearing himself to everyone in the office. Part of Arthur was still jealous, but a bigger part of Arthur was intrigued by him, by the way his dark hair fell over his collar. By how in some lights he looked awkward and young, but when the light hit him right he was transformed into a guy so good-looking he was basically beautiful. Ethereal even.
Arthur cursed himself, when did he start using words like ethereal?
His confusion manifested itself in a variety of ways. He started getting in early and absolutely beasting through his work. He let Gwen come in to the meeting with the author of the Soweto proposal. He swallowed his pride and asked Gwen to talk him through the finer details of collaboration agreements. And he surprised her one morning by bringing her a latte.
'Arthur, that's really nice of you,' she smiled, and the shock on her face made him feel bad. That such a small gesture could have so much meaning for her.
'Well, you always do it for me so...' he shrugged, embarrassed.
He stopped drinking so much, as he found it made him maudlin. He found himself reading all of the books Merlin represented. And he kept catching himself watching Merlin, finding excuses to email him little things or jokes, sometimes even (daringly) putting a kiss on the end of the emails. He didn't know what was wrong with him.
He also kept finding a way to drop Merlin into conversation.
'You've got mentionitis, Pendragon,' Leon said, one night, when they were watching the footie and he'd cracked open a few Coronas.
'Nah mate,' Arthur crinkled his brow. 'I went to the clinic two months ago and I'm completely clean.'
Leon started laughing then, a proper belly laugh. 'It's not a fucking STD you knob! I meant you can't stop mentioning that Merlin bloke.'
'Can too,' Arthur said, not sure whether he was more aghast at making such a stupid mistake or at Leon accusing him of talking about Merlin too much.
He even tried fucking Merlin out of his system but even when Flora's legs bent up around his shoulders and he thrust in deep, her moans spilling out with every thrust, he could feel that his heart wasn't in it.
That itch was back. He hadn't been with a guy for four months. But he couldn't tell now if he wanted to fuck a guy, or if he wanted to fuck Merlin.
'You alright Arthur?' Merlin asked, one morning, poking his head round Arthur's office door where was staring fixedly into space.
'Oh god,' Arthur jumped, coming back to himself with a bump, 'yeah, just had a bit of a late one last night.'
'Oh really?' Merlin waggled his eyebrows suggestively, coming in and plonking himself down on the sofa with a contented sigh. Arthur's sofa was definitely the most comfortable in the office. 'Which of your many conquests kept you up last night?'
Arthur sighed, 'Flora,' he admitted. He'd told Merlin the whole Flora saga. She was a PR executive at Pendragon Press. He'd met her at a Frankfurt Book Fair dinner last year, they'd flirted all night and then he'd screwed her in his hotel room at the Frankfurter Hof. Her legs were really long, and her arse was phenomenal. And it didn't matter if he didn't call her for weeks, when he did, there she'd be - her smile as dirty as ever and full of inventive promise.
'Does she mind just being your fuck-buddy?' Merlin asked. There was no judgement in his tone, just curiosity.
'I don't know,' Arthur admitted, biting at his lip. 'She doesn't really know me, we barely speak. We just have great sex and go to expensive restaurants and bars. But I've decided it needs to stop.' As he said it he realised that it was true.
'Why?' Merlin looked surprised. 'You said the sex was phenomenal.'
'Yeah,' Arthur admitted, running through a whole series of pervy memories in his mind. The time when she'd brought along a friend had been especially memorable. 'But, and this probably sounds really stupid, I think I might have grown out of disposable sex with women I don't like.'
'Woah,' Merlin exhaled, smiling slightly, 'that's a pretty big decision, Pendragon.'
'It's one I wish my Dad would make,' Arthur sighed. 'He's sixty and still doing it. It's not seemly.'
'What's prompted this change of heart, Arthur?' Merlin asked, his head on one side, his expression earnest.
'Fuck I don't know, I'm just getting older I suppose.'
His phone went then, which was good as he was perilously close to admitting 'because I can't get you out of my head, Merlin'.
'I'll leave you to it then,' Merlin said, levering himself up from the comfy cushions and straightening his crumpled levis.
It was Gwen, 'Flora keeps calling. I've told her you've been in meetings all day but it's getting ludicrous now. Will you just take the call?'
Arthur sighed hard, pinched the bridge of his nose, 'Fine, put her through.'
'Arthur Pendragon speaking.'
'Arthur it's Flora.'
'Flora, a pleasure as ever.'
'This isn't really a social call,' she said.
'Oh?'
'I've got something to tell you.'
'Oh.' Shit. She was pregnant. She was definitely, definitely pregnant. Yes he'd always used a condom but he blatantly had superior sperm, didn't he?
'Your father has asked me out for dinner.'
'Oh.' Well then. That was unexpected.
'I'm going to go. So from now on, you and I are no more.'
Arthur leaned back in his chair, fought the urge to put his feet on his desk, and felt the shit-eating grin spread its way across his face. 'No problem. My lips are sealed.'
'Thank you,' her voice was clipped. This was obviously embarrassing for her.
'Well, goodbye then Flora,' he hung up the phone and burst into peals of laughter.
Gwen came scurrying in looking worried, 'Are you okay? What's happened? What was so urgent?' She stopped then, looked at him, 'I thought you were crying.'
'I thought she was pregnant,' he said, happily. 'But she just dumped me, because my Dad's asked her out.'
'Ew,' Gwen wrinkled her nose. 'That's one step up from incest. And why are you so happy about it?'
'I was going to break it off anyway,' he said, idly scrolling through some of the filthier emails she'd sent him, wondering what his father would make of them. 'This way I don't have to be the bad guy.'
'But your Dad,' she shuddered ostentatiously. 'He's a bit of a silver fox but she's only twenty-five, and she's been shagging for you 8 months!'
'Ah whatever,' he shrugged. 'It's quite funny when you think about it.' He raised an eyebrow then, finding some photo messages she'd sent him from a business trip this year. Maybe he would miss her more than he thought.
'You did say you were too busy for women,' Gwen pointed out. 'It's a bit gross, but a blessing in disguise I suppose.' She bent down and picked Puff up, 'Puff agrees.' She made him wave a paw at Arthur.
Arthur snorted. Gwen was taking more and more liberties with him these days. But he kind of liked it. 'I'm glad Puff approves. Now go and do some work,' but he smiled as he said it to soften it.
'Coffee?' she asked, putting the dog down.
'Nah, I can make my own,' he said. 'Thanks.'
***
It was the Tuesday of the Book Fair and Arthur was exhausted. He'd been back to back in meetings since 9am and he was already sick of the sound of his own voice, sick of the overpriced food, and sick of air-kissing people he swore he'd never met before.
'Yep, it's already sold in seven territories,' he said to the earnest Spanish publisher who was nodding and smiling at his every word. 'He's due to deliver the text in April this year so I can send the unedited manuscript over then, unless you'd prefer to wait for first page proofs in August?'
'We're very keen to see it as soon as possible, so April would suit us,' she said. She gave him her business card which he stapled to his page of notes.
'A pleasure to meet you,' they shook hands.
He checked his watch. He had four minutes until his next one, with the Swedish option publisher for Jane Munro, one of his historians.
'Coffee?' one was plonked down in front of him and Merlin took the seat next to him at the table, not waiting for an invitation. He was wearing a suit for once and had his namebadge pinned to his lapel.
'God, I'd bloody love one,' Arthur picked it up and began to gulp it, feeling the need for a caffeine injection.
'It's not the soy hazelnut whip latte or whatever it is you make Gwen go out and get you,' he said. 'But caffeine is caffeine.' He took a sip and closed his eyes, 'Ah, beautiful, beautiful overpriced coffee.'
'How have your meetings gone so far?'
'Alright, quite a lot of interest in my titles. I'm fucking bored though. My throat is so sore, and is it always this hot here? Was it this hot last year? I can't remember. Regardless, my sweatpatches are insane.'
'Gross,' Arthur said. But he didn't mean it. He didn't find anything gross about Merlin. He could admit it to himself now. He had a crush on him, in a way he hadn't crushed on anyone since. Well. Ever. Arthur Pendragon didn't fancy people from afar: they fancied him. Or he found them attractive, seduced them, and then shagged them. He didn't do this, whatever it was. But Merlin interested him. He called him on his bad behaviour - and it wasn't annoying like when Morgana did it. He challenged Arthur, and he made him laugh.
'Can you get me in to the Pendragon Press party tonight?' Merlin asked. 'I gave you a disgusting coffee - it's the least you can do to get me in to a really extravagant and expensive party at The Savoy.'
Arthur rolled his eyes, 'If I can't exploit nepotism to get my friends into parties then what is it really good for?'
'Good,' Merlin looked pleased. 'See you later then, your 4 o'clock's here,' he gestured to three blond, very tall men. The Swedes. Of course.
***
The Princess Ida room at The Savoy was wall-to-wall with the great and the good in publishing. To be honest, all Arthur really wanted to do was go home and sleep, and take a load of Berocca to try to fend off the cold he always ended up getting after LBF.
He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. 'Where are the canapes coming from?' Merlin was loitering at his elbow, chewing a crab puff. 'I reckon if we figure it out we cut them off at the source, get all the best ones.'
Arthur rolled his eyes, 'Don't you earn enough to eat?' he said. 'I'd have thought your accountant boyfriend could treat you to dinner occasionally.' His tone was light but he didn't look at Merlin as he said it.
'We broke up,' Merlin shrugged. Helping himself to a shot of soup from a waiter. 'Ooh, what is this?'
'You broke up?' Arthur interrupted.
'Yeah, it wasn't really going anywhere.' Merlin knocked the soup back, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
'You're so uncouth,' Arthur hissed, but he was laughing, joy bubbling up from somewhere in his stomach.
'Uncouth?' Merlin cocked an eyebrow. 'Seriously? What other 1920s words are you going to crack out next? Louche?' he asked. 'Dandified?' He struck a pose.
'Be serious,' Arthur grinned, before the smile slid off his face.
'What, what?' Merlin tugged his sleeve. 'You look like someone's just died?'
'It's my Dad, arm-in-arm with Flora.'
'Ooooh, where, where?' Merlin craned his head to look and Arthur grabbed his sleeve.
'Stop it, I don't want them to notice us.'
'He's your Dad,' Merlin pointed out, reasonably, stopping to grab another piece of bruschetta.
'Yeah but it's still weird seeing him with someone who's spent a considerable amount of time sitting on my face,' he hissed.
Merlin choked on the bruschetta, before washing it down with some wine. 'Thanks for the mental image, Pendragon. Look, they're coming over.' He fastidiously brushed the crumbs off his cuffs and straightened his blue tie.
'Arthur,' Uther said, reaching his hand out to formally take Arthur's.
'Father,' he shook it back, wincing at his Dad's bone-crushing grip.
'I don't believe you've met Flora?' he gestured to where she stood, looking stunning in a pastel blue dress, her hair loose around her shoulders.
'Oh, erm, no,' Arthur lied. 'Pleasure,' he kissed her awkwardly on both cheeks. Her skin felt hot and flushed against his. No matter how odd he felt, she had to be feeling worse.
'And Dad this is Merlin,' he ushered him forward. 'New literary agent at work, specialises in fiction.'
Uther looked him up and down before shaking his hand finally, 'Good to meet you. The name is certainly familiar - is Rose Trewin one of yours?'
'Yes,' Merlin nodded eagerly, 'Poppy Wright's the editor. Her last book reached the top five so I have big hopes for the next one.'
'Good, good,' he looked away at the crowd. 'Maybe you can teach my son a thing or two,' he clapped them both on the shoulder and he was off, Flora's perfume lingering.
'Can we get some fresh air?' Arthur asked, suddenly. It felt very hot. Claustrophobic. His throat felt tight.
'Of course,' Merlin was all concern. He ushered Arthur out ahead of him, squeezing them through the constricting crowds until they were outside.
'Do you need a cab, sir?' One of the doormen asked but Merlin waved him away, tugged Arthur into one of the darker recesses to the side of The Savoy.
'What's wrong?' he asked. 'Was it seeing Flora?' He squeezed Arthur's arm.
'No, it's,' Arthur bit his lip, ran his hand through sweaty hair. 'It's my Dad. He never makes me feel like I'm good enough. No matter what I do. I'm never good enough. He could have asked after one of my authors couldn't he? Could have said well done? But no.' He looked stonily into the distance, his hands in fists in his pockets.
'He is proud of you,' Merlin said, gently. 'He has to be. He just doesn't know how to show it.'
'Whatever I do, it's never enough,' Arthur said, again. 'I'm never going to be good enough.'
Merlin tugged his face round to look at him then, his long fingers cool on Arthur's hot skin. 'You are good enough,' he said simply.
Later, Arthur would put it down to emotions running high, to the champagne he'd drunk, to anything else he could seize upon as an excuse. But the real reason was that something in Merlin's gaze, in the way his dark hair fell over his ears, in how he looked in his suit struck Arthur suddenly and a wave of tenderness rolled over him. He put his hand on Merlin's chin, tilted it. 'I want to kiss you,' he said, suddenly, not sure where the words were coming from.
Merlin didn't look shocked. He just looked pleased. 'Oh,' he said, smiling slightly. His eyes darted from Arthur's intent gaze to his lips, to Arthur's eyes, to his lips, and then he leaned in. The kiss was short, sweet almost, Arthur's hand slipped round to Merlin's hair, slipped through it. They pulled away and Merlin smiled against his lips, 'We should probably go back to the party. You can't be caught out here snogging like a teenager.'
'I don't want to go back to the party,' Arthur said, mutinously, one of his hands curved around Merlin's slender hips. 'I want to go back to mine. And I want you to come with me. My flatmate's away all week.'
'Is this a good idea?' Merlin asked, even whilst his hand twined around Arthur's. 'We work together.'
'I don't care,' Arthur said. 'I just want you, okay? I have since I first saw you. You do something to me and I don't know why, but you make me want to... be a better person,' he finished, lamely.
'Who knew you were such a secret romantic?' Merlin asked, leading them on to The Strand, hailing a cab, one hand still firmly gripping Arthur's wrist.
They sat in silence all the way home, their fingers entwined, Arthur's thumb sliding over Merlin's wrist. He purposefully wasn't letting himself think about what this would mean. The alcohol was dulling his common sense enough that he could convince himself that if they did this, just once, maybe he would get over it. That he could go back to bullying Gwen, fucking anonymous women, and shagging his way round London publishing, and all of these feelings would dissipate, like they had never existed at all.
Merlin kept squeezing his hand, smiling, and Arthur felt like a dizzy teenager as he led him up the steps to his front door.
'Wow, someone's landed on his feet,' Merlin grinned, taking in their surroundings. It was a whole house. A house in London. Okay so it was pretty narrow and the rooms were hardly massive but it had a balcony, and two bedrooms, and Arthur loved it.
'Come here,' he said, pulling Merlin in to kiss him again. His tongue slid against Merlin's, Merlin's stubble harsh on his skin. Merlin moaned in to his mouth, pressing up against him, his erection hard against Arthur's hip. Arthur kept kissing him even as he shrugged his jacket off and pulled off his tie. It was like he was drunk on Merlin's taste, on his skin. He didn't want to stop. Merlin pulled back, gasping, 'Alright Pendragon, calm down, I'm not going anywhere. I've wanted to do this for a while,' his smile was mischievous.
'For how long? Arthur asked, unbuttoning his shirt, hungrily watching Merlin slip out of his clothes and closing the distance between them again.
'Since that night in G-A-Y?' Merlin said, pulling back to see Arthur's reaction.
'You remember?' Arthur flickered his eyes shut, suddenly too embarrassed to look at him.
'Of course I remember. Incredibly hot city-boy like you? And I knew who you were,' Merlin pointed out. 'I'd seen your profile in The Bookseller. I wanted to take you home then but you were fucking smashed.'
'Yeah,' Arthur agreed. 'Why didn't you say anything?'
Merlin shrugged, unbuttoning his trousers and sliding them off slim hips. 'It's a bit awkward to bring up, yeah? 'Hi Arthur, I'm your new colleague, and by the way, I know you secretly pull men you pick up in gay-bars.''
Arthur wanted to protest more, to discuss this more, but then Merlin was naked and all he wanted to do was push him down onto the sofa and lick him everywhere. So he did.
'You're so fit,' Arthur said, mouthing down Merlin's collarbones and kissing his chest. 'I've tried to get you out of my system but there's something about you.'
'Yeah?' Merlin smiled. 'I think there's something about you too.' He curled his hands into Arthur's hair, pushed his head lower. Arthur kissed his way down his stomach, right the way down to his erection, which was hard, and wet.
Arthur hid his head against Merlin's thigh then, suddenly embarrassed.
'Stop being such a pricktease, Arthur,' Merlin said, and Arthur could feel the smile in his voice.
'I don't normally do this,' he said, voice muffled against Merlin's skin.
'I didn't imagine you did,' Merlin said. 'Someone like you, getting down on his knees?'
Arthur smiled, let his tongue snake out, licked the tip of Merlin's dick. Merlin moaned, and Arthur, encouraged, turned his attention to trying to make him make that sound again. He let the head slide over his lips, messy and wet, before opening his mouth, letting it push in slowly, sucking gently.
'You feel so good,' Merlin whispered.
Arthur looked up, shyly through his lashes, and Merlin was watching him unblinking. 'Oh fuck', he moaned, as he made eye-contact with Arthur, Arthur sliding his mouth down deeper, refusing to break their gaze. Arthur started bobbing his head then, brought his hand up to rub Merlin's dick where he couldn't fit it into his mouth. He pulled off then to lick the head, tonguing the underside, feeling Merlin leaking pre-come and rutting helplessly against him, sighing with relief as he managed to push his dick back inside Arthur's warm, wet mouth. He thrust shallowly for a few minutes before he said, 'I don't want to come in your mouth, Arthur.'
Arthur pulled off, his dick sliding out of his mouth with an obscene wet sound. He continued to rub Merlin's dick with his hand, marvelling at how turned on he was getting just from doing this to someone else. But it wasn't just someone else was it? It was Merlin. 'Where do you want to come?' he asked, when he could look away from the mesmerising motion of his hand over Merlin's cock, the red wet head sliding through his fist.
'Ah, fuck, well I'm going to do it all over your hand if you don't stop,' Merlin shifted back out of his reach and Arthur frowned, leaning up and over him, kissing him again.
'I want to come inside you,' Merlin said.
'Yes, inside my mouth,' Arthur said, biting at Merlin's lower lip. 'And then I'll fuck you.'
Merlin rolled his eyes, shoved ineffectually at his chest. 'Have you ever been fucked?' he asked.
Arthur pulled off in horror, 'No!'
Merlin laughed at his expression, then let his voice go quiet, filthy in the silent room, 'You've never had someone's dick inside you? Never had them sliding deep into you, feeling them everywhere, their hand on your dick in time with their thrusts, feeling them coming inside you whilst you tighten around them, wanting them to fuck you so hard you'll feel it for days.'
There was something magical about Merlin's words, 'You shouldn't be an agent,' he said, eventually, rubbing his erection messily over Merlin's stomach. 'You should be a writer, a writer of hot gay porn' because he had been horrified before. The idea of it! The indignity! Didn't Merlin know who he was! But now he wanted well... that, what Merlin said, to feel Merlin's long dick push inside him, to feel him come inside him.
'Can I take that as a yes then,' Merlin's long fingers slid between their bodies and although the angle was awkward he still managed to let Arthur thrust into his hand a few times.
'Yes,' Arthur said, his eyes closed, his face pushed against Merlin's shoulder. 'There's lube and condoms in my jacket pocket.' Merlin pushed him off and got up, Arthur lay on his stomach, feeling his erection throb. 'Or in the drawer under the coffee table. Or the cutlery drawer.'
'You keep condoms in your cutlery drawer?' Merlin's voice was outraged.
'I like to be prepared!' Arthur said. 'Which I think you'll find, in this day and age, is admirable.'
'Come on,' Merlin tugged him up and he should have looked ridiculous like this, naked and hair messed, his erection red and heavy between his legs but Arthur couldn't ever remember feeling this turned on. 'Bed.'
Arthur kept kissing him, dragging him against his body until they almost fell going up the stairs and he reluctantly pulled himself away. He lay back on his pillows, arms behind his head. He'd never been shy.
'Look at you,' Merlin said, and there was something like reverence in his words as his eyes travelled down Arthur's chest, to where his erection was. Arthur wrapped his hand around it, stroking himself slowly, moaning into it, sluttish, putting on a show.
'I can't believe no one's done this to you before,' Merlin shook his head. 'Your arse is perfect.'
'Yeah, well, no one seduced me with their dirty talk before,' Arthur pointed out, still stroking his erection.
'Roll over,' Merlin said, sliding a pillow beneath Arthur's hips.
It was embarrassing and undignified, Arthur thought, his legs sliding open, his arse in the air where Merlin could see everything.
Merlin's hand slid down his arse, sliding into the cleft, his finger cool and slick. Arthur tensed at his touch then but Merlin just kissed his shoulder. 'You're so hot like this,' his voice was low and dirty. 'If anyone could see you now, Arthur Pendragon, desperate to be fucked.'
Arthur moaned, 'Please,' and Merlin pushed one finger inside him. At first it felt odd, awkward, but then Merlin urged him up onto his hands and knees, wrapped his hand around Arthur's cock until he found himself thrusting back against him. 'More,' he murmured, embarrassed like he knew he shouldn't want it but did.
Merlin pushed a second finger in with the first, rubbing then scissoring, slowly stretching Arthur out for his cock. 'You love this don't you,' he whispered, mouthing Arthur's spine. 'You need this. Somewhere where you don't have to be on top for once, where you can let someone else be in charge of you, make you do what they want.' He added a third finger and all Arthur could do was let his head hang down, panting, as Merlin rubbed against that sweet spot inside him which made him want to shove himself back against him.
'Please, Merlin,' he said eventually, 'I want you inside me.'
Merlin pulled his fingers out then, and Arthur heard the sound of him sliding a condom on. It suddenly felt unbearably intimate - he couldn't look at him, couldn't, and then the blunt head of Merlin's dick was pressed against his arsehole, and he was pushing slowly in.
'Relax,' he breathed, his hand coming round Arthur's hip to slide over Arthur's erection, stroking him until he felt like he was on the edge. And then, only then, did Merlin slide all the way in.
'Fuck,' Arthur said, shakily. It felt like nothing he'd ever done before. He felt full, could feel Merlin's erection throbbing inside him, could tell that he was trying to hold back, trying to wait for Arthur to move against him. 'Fuck me,' he said, and it was wrong, all wrong, but it felt so good and he couldn't not thrust back against Merlin, messing up the rhythm as Merlin thrust in and out. In and out. 'Arthur, Arthur, Arthur,' he kept saying, like a litany and all Arthur could do was fuck jerkily into Merlin's hand as Merlin's dick rubbed at something inside him that made every part of him feel weak.
'I'm going to, Merlin, fuck, I'm nearly there, I'm,' and Merlin tightened his grip around Arthur's dick as he came, spurting over Merlin's fingers and slumping down onto his elbows. Merlin put both hands on his hips then, thrusting faster and faster. 'You're so hot like this, Arthur, so fucking hot, you love having my dick in your arse don't you? I can tell you,' and then his words were mindless, tumbling over one another as his thrusts became syncopated and Arthur could feel him coming inside him.
'Fuck,' Merlin slumped over him, sweaty in a way that should have been disgusting but simply felt fitting. He pulled out gingerly and Arthur rolled over, his breath still coming fast, feeling flushed all over. He watched him throw the condom away and then he came back to bed, sat on the edge, kissed Arthur's shoulder. 'Alright?' was all he said, but there was something in the way he said it that felt like he was asking more.
'Alright, yeah,' Arthur agreed, squeezing his wrist, pulling him into bed to kiss him again. 'You can stay if you want?' he asked, trying not to sound needy.
'Better not,' Merlin shook his head ruefully. 'We've got to be back at Earls Court at 9am tomorrow. I've got no clean clothes. I'll look like a kid playing dress up if I wear yours.'
'Oh,' Arthur let go of his wrist, lay back against the pillows and pulled the duvet over his chest. He felt vulnerable. He never asked people to stay over. Never. And if he did, well, they wouldn't turn him down.
'See you tomorrow yeah? I'll let myself out,' and with one last quirk of a smile Merlin was gone, leaving Arthur alone in his bedroom, feeling like he'd done something wrong, but not sure what.
***
He avoided Merlin the next day, which was pretty hard given that they had their meetings at the same block of tables. Gone was the easy camaraderie they'd built up over the past two weeks. He caught Merlin's eyes once, just once, and Merlin's slid away, back to the Japanese sub-agents he was chatting to. He didn't make any move to come and bring Arthur coffee, or email him, or even just say 'hi'. He nodded at him formally when Arthur made a point of waving. But that was it.
Arthur felt hurt, and embarrassed, and sore. He called Gwen just to shout at her, then emailed Gen to accuse her of not forwarding on all of his post, and finally he texted Theresa, an ex-girlfriend, and asked her if she wanted to come over that weekend. None of these things made him feel better. Instead they made him feel worse.
He left the fair as soon as humanly possible and shrugged off all of the invitations to after-Fair drinks, and parties, smiling ruefully and saying 'sorry, I think I'm coming down with something'. He went home and put on his dressing-gown, ate chicken Supernoodles, and picked up his battered copy of Riders. He was glad Leon was away. If he caught him like this he'd never live it down.
He was just at the bit where Jake was having an affair with Helen when he heard a knocking on his front-door. He ignored it. It was probably Jehovah's Witnesses or something.
He went back to the book, chewing at his thumbnail as he read.
The knocking was back and he frowned to himself, unable to stay fixated on the highs and lows of showjumping and Rupert Campbell-Black whilst that racket was going on. He belted his dressing-gown securely around himself and went downstairs.
'Who is it?' he called gingerly.
'Merlin,' came the reply.
'What do you want?' Arthur asked, making no move to open the door.
'To talk to you.' Merlin said.
'Go on then, talk,' Arthur said. 'You can say whatever you need to from out there.'
There was silence then, and he thought Merlin had gone away, and he sighed and went to trudge back upstairs.
'I didn't mean to ignore you today,' Merlin said, finally. 'Or not to stay last night. But as your track record with men tends to be anonymous fucks in alleys I didn't think-'
'Alright, alright, come in then,' Arthur fumbled with the lock, wondering what the hell his neighbours would think
Merlin was still in his suit from LBF, and he had his hands in his pockets, looking awkward and rumpled. 'I wanted to pre-empt you pretending this hadn't happened, so it couldn't hurt when you rejected me,' was the first thing he said, as if he'd been rehearsing saying that all of the way over there.
Arthur blinked, took a step backwards. 'Why did you presume that's how I'd act?' But he knew how lame it sounded.
'Erm, because ostensibly you're straight, and you shag around a lot, and I saw you in G-A-Y but you never, ever made any reference to the fact that you might have an interest in men. What was I supposed to think?'
Arthur crossed his arms, feeling stupid and vulnerable in his dressing gown. 'Well if that's how you feel then why are you even here?'
Merlin sighed, ran his hands through his hair. 'Because I like you a lot, and I thought about you all day and you looked so lost when you looked at me. I just... I don't want this to be just one night that we never talk about again. I like spending time with you, and I like how smart you are, and how good you look in a suit. And I liked what we did last night,' he half-smiled, looked pleadingly at Arthur. 'I just like you.'
Later Arthur would put what he did next down to feeling overly emotional after reading Riders, or to the fact he was coming down with a cold, or even to how adorable Merlin looked in a suit. But the truth was it was just that he felt like he was falling for Merlin. He closed the space between them and kissed Merlin hard, sliding his tongue over Merlin's. 'I like you too,' he said, smiling.
***
Three years later...
The Bookseller: Pendragon and Emrys form new agency
The golden boys of Paterson & Oriel have made a bold move, leaving the agency to set up on their own. They take with them Gwen Thomas, and three other agents from CW. With numerous bestselling authors of non-fiction and fiction under their belts this partnership is one we will watch with interest.
'So, Pendragon,' Merlin smiled, putting the soy hazelnut whip latte down on Arthur's new desk. 'You believe me now that the two of us were destined for greatness?'
'Yes,' Arthur said, tugging his tie down for a kiss, ignoring the horrified yell of Gwen who was transporting her stuff into her new office in a cardboard box. 'I do.'
-- end
Fandom: Merlin
Rating: NC-17. Porny porny porn occurs.
Word count: This part 8,969. Which brings us up to about 20k in total.
Summary: Modern AU. Arthur Pendragon is the golden boy literary agent at Paterson & Oriel. But then Merlin Emrys, master of the slush-pile and all around fiction wizard is recruited. Arthur is a knob. Merlin is adorable. And then feelings happen.
Disclaimer: Merlin et al are not mine. The literary agents herein are in no way based on myself or my colleagues. Although we do have an office dog.
Previous parts: CHAPTER ONE; CHAPTER TWO
'You ready then?' Merlin smiled, jokingly holding his elbow out for Arthur to take it.
'Ha ha. Ha.' Seriously, Arthur's collar was trying to strangle him on a daily basis at the moment. He ran a sweaty finger round it and then gave up, pulled his tie off and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his Ralph Lauren shirt.
Merlin quirked an eyebrow, 'Is that Sloaney-casual or something? Tie off and two buttons undone?'
Arthur couldn't help laughing, even though he didn't want to. 'Better than looking like an overgrown work experience kid,' he taunted, looking pointedly up and down at Merlin's outfit, lingering on his Converse.
A flush stained Merlin's cheekbones then, travelling down his neck. Arthur found himself wondering idly how far down it went.
'Gordon's awaits, Merlin, after you...' The last thing Arthur saw before the lift-doors shut was Gwen's smirking face. He could have sworn she mouthed, 'Enjoy your date,' to him.
'Nice of you to invite me out for a drink,' Merlin said. 'Morgana put you up to it?'
'Maybe,' Arthur admitted.
'What's she got over you then?' Arthur noticed Merlin's dimples for the first time. It made him feel weird in the pit of his stomach. He busied himself checking his Blackberry instead. He had a narky email from Flora. Great.
Merlin clicked his fingers in front of Arthur's face, 'Oi, leave your Blackberry - I'm right here. Seriously, put it away, it's 7pm.'
'Sorry, sorry,' Arthur put his phone away, 'it's hard to break the habit of a lifetime.' The lift dinged and he gestured for Merlin to go in front of him. 'Morgana, well, we've just known each other for a really long time. My Dad's her god-father. Wherever I go there she is, being all supercilious and glamorous and telling me off for being a complete dickhead. She went to Oxford with me, and then there were a blessed few years when she lived in New York before she came back and took a job here.'
Merlin waved at the security guard on the desk, 'Night Jon.'
Arthur looked aghast, 'How do you know him?'
Merlin shrugged, 'I just say hi to him each day. Nice guy.'
Arthur shook his head.
The streets outside their office were thronged with tourists, enjoying the unseasonably sunny warm weather. 'Fucking tourists,' Arthur muttered, picking his way through them. 'They should only be allowed to walk in the road until they learn to use the pavements in single-file.'
'You're a very angry person, do you know that?' Merlin said, squeezing through the crowds, refusing to use the 'head down, elbows out' approach that Arthur preferred.
'I'm not a very angry person,' Arthur frowned. He grabbed Merlin's wrist and towed him through the middle of a particularly bunched up knot of German schoolchildren. 'AUS DEM WEG!' he bellowed at them.
'Okay,' he admitted reluctantly, feeling rather than seeing Merlin's pointed look, 'perhaps I am a little angry. But there's a lot to get angry about.' He reached the door of Gordon's, sighing with relief at leaving the tourists behind. It was blissfully cool inside and he found himself automatically flirting with the barmaid and ordering them a bottle of Pinot Noir. He grabbed the secluded booth that he normally used to seduce young women into errors of judgement. There'd probably be a lot less footsie than normal tonight. Or would there be, he thought, suddenly. Fucking Gwen, planting ideas into his mind.
'Well,' he said, smiling awkwardly at Merlin, Gwen's words still ringing through his head.
'Well,' Merlin echoed, looking curiously across at Arthur who again (again!) found himself tongue-tied and awkward.
'How are you finding the office?' he settled on eventually. Neutral. Casual. Good.
Merlin shrugged, 'It's a bit too early to tell. It's very different to CW.'
Arthur, who had never worked at another agency leaned in. 'Go on.'
'God, what is it about you that makes me feel like I'm indulging in industrial espionage?' Merlin rolled his eyes. 'CW is quite a... sweet agency. Claire and James are old-school and very nice, and they never poach clients, or try new projects, or anything like that. They have their established authors, who make them huge amounts of money, and they never experiment. Paterson & Oriel is more corporate, and more dynamic. It's certainly bigger.'
'What do you think of the people?' Arthur was intrigued, pouring Merlin a full glass of wine.
'Peter is phenomenal. I like how spunky Camilla is - I think she's good for him. Oleander is terrifying.'
Arthur nodded, 'She made a pass at me once.'
Merlin choked on his wine, hacked for a while into his napkin. 'Seriously?' the tips of his ears had gone pink. It was rather adorable, Arthur thought, before cursing Gwen once more.
'Sadly, yes. We were at the Groucho and I was only twenty-five,' he admitted. 'She put her hand on my crotch under the table and squeezed.'
'And then what?' Merlin's mouth had fallen open, he leaned right across the table as if desperate to hear.
'My balls crawled so far up inside me they still haven't dropped back down.' It was Arthur's go-to image whenever he wanted to subdue an unwanted erection or stop himself coming too quickly.
Merlin snorted, 'And how did you get out of it?' He paused, horror suddenly on his face, 'You did get out of it, right?'
'It was my first week,' Arthur said. 'For one moment I thought I'd have to go through with it. Then common sense reasserted itself, I got up really suddenly and went to the toilet and when I came back she'd gone. It was never mentioned again.'
'Bloody hell, lucky escape.' Merlin looked a little queasy.
'Come on, spill the beans on everyone else...' Arthur encouraged, knocking back his wine with a sigh, feeling himself unwinding. It was a relief not obsessing over his Blackberry for once, truth be told.
'I like all of the assistants. Gwen's going to be a cracking agent one day.' He met Arthur's glare head on. 'You know I'm right and you'd do better talking to her about it and bringing her on yourself rather than losing her to someone else.'
Arthur hung his head, 'Let's change the subject,' which was code for 'I know you're right but will never admit it.'
'What do you think of Morgana?'
'Beautiful, smart, a little bit crazy but in a good way. I hope that doesn't offend you?'
'No, it's a good description. But you left someone out.'
'I did?' Merlin looked quizzical. 'Puff the pug you mean?'
'No, me.'
'Oh, right,' Merlin smirked around his wine. 'Can we get another bottle?' he waved the waitress over.
'You're just playing for time,' Arthur said flatly. He felt curiously nervous.
'Yup,' Merlin agreed amicably.
'So..?' Arthur asked.
'You're incredibly rude to your assistant,' Merlin said lightly. 'You bully all of the junior staff, even those who've slept with you, especially those who've slept with you,' he corrected himself. 'You've shagged half the female editors in London and you spend half of your life hungover.' He paused. 'But you're also incredibly smart, impressively talented, and I think you're a good person pretending to be a bad one. So, I haven't really made my mind up yet.' He tilted his chin up, met Arthur's eyes.
'I'd like to be your friend,' he said, casually. 'Very much. I like the Arthur I think you can be. But the one I've seen around the office has been a twat a lot of the time.'
Arthur didn't really know what to say. He'd had accusations like that thrown at him before, but they'd always been in the heat of the argument, from rah girlfriends who'd caught him shagging around, or other agents whose clients he'd stolen. Never from someone calm, and cool, who told him that they wanted him to be a better person.
'More wine,' he muttered to himself, and with shaking hands poured himself some more. He basically necked the glass before he felt able to meet Merlin's eyes again. 'I'm not going to excuse myself,' he said, feeling caught in that intent blue gaze. 'I can be an arsehole. My Dad's an arsehole too so I suppose it's in my blood. I've had everything in life come easy to me and when everyone around you tells you how good you are it can go to your head.'
'I can imagine,' Merlin shrugged, pouring himself more wine. 'It's much easier not to be a dick when no one around you tells you how good you are.' His smile was self-deprecating.
'You know how good you are. Nominated for Literary Agent of the Year, remember? And you're how old?'
'Twenty-eight,' Merlin admitted.
'Fuck me. How old were you when you made agent?'
'Twenty-four,' Merlin said. 'I graduated from Uni when I was just 21, did a year at Abinger's Sons, quit to become Claire Charterhouse's assistant and did that for a year, got promoted to associate, then full agent at twenty-four. And what about you?'
Arthur normally glossed over this part but decided to be honest for once. 'Graduated with a 2.i from Oxford in History and started at my Dad's company as an editorial assistant. I was a commissioning editor by 24 and I left at 25 to become an agent at Paterson & Oriel.'
'From editorial assistant to commissioning editor in two years?' Merlin said. 'Impressive.'
'Not really, is it,' Arthur said moodily. 'I worked for my Dad. He basically had to promote me.'
Everyone had heard of Uther Pendragon, MD of Pendragon Press, one of the 'big four' London publishers. He had been married twice, was a regular in the Evening Standard's society pages, and had an address book that was the envy of everyone in London. It was a testament to Arthur's talent that he was just now poking his head out of his Dad's shadow. But he'd be lying if he said he'd got there on his own. Some of the other editorial assistants from when he'd started were only just making it to commissioning editor now, and he'd been no more talented than they were. And far, far less hard-working.
'Yeah but you wouldn't be making the money you are now if you weren't good. Your Dad's name opened some doors for you initially. But now it's you on your own and you're good at your job. Honestly, you're going to do great things one day.' Arthur looked for mockery in Merlin's blue eyes but there was none. He was earnest.
You sound like a fortune teller,' Arthur scoffed, but he couldn't help smiling to himself and proposing a toast. 'To Merlin and Arthur. To greatness.'
'To greatness,' Merlin agreed, clinking his glass against Arthur's.
***
Arthur groaned when he woke up the next morning. He had the distinct feeling that if he opened his eyes he'd immediately start vomiting so kept them closed and felt around for his dressing-gown. 'Leon?' he called out. 'I think I'm feverish. Honestly, I've come down with something awful.'
There was a cool hand on his forehead then, 'I'm pretty sure you're not ill. You're just massively hungover.'
'Merlin?' Arthur leaped up, his insides protested and he was finally forced to open his eyes in order to find the bathroom.
'Second door on the left,' Merlin called.
Arthur was sick for what felt like days. He hadn't eaten dinner, he remembered. Oh sure they'd stumbled into Maccy Ds at 3am but by that point he'd had a bottle and a half of wine and a Big Mac and chips wasn't going to soak that up. Then they'd ended up back at Merlin's which was this cool split-level flat in Camden and then they'd opened a bottle of gin and the rest of the night was a blur. Arthur vaguely remembered Guitar Hero and a heated argument over which of Jilly Cooper's books was her best which he was planning on denying all knowledge of. Although it was definitely Riders, Merlin was mental if he thought it was topped by Polo. Pfft, where was that famed 'eye for fiction' now?
'What time is it?' he croaked out, once he'd finished heaving.
'Seven o'clock.'
'Then what the fuck are we doing out of bed? I could get away with at least another three hours and still make it in for our lit meeting.'
'My boyfriend's coming over to study at 8am and he's liable to assume the worst if he finds a good-looking guy passed out in my bed.'
There were so many things wrong with that sentence that Arthur had to break it down into pieces in order to process it:
1) My boyfriend? Since when did Merlin have a boyfriend? Bloody cheek not to mention it, that's what that was.
2) To study - what was he, 12?
3) Had Merlin called him goodlooking? Arthur thrilled like a heroine in a Mills & Boon novel.
4) So he'd spent the night in Merlin's bed had he?
He obviously didn't say any of this out loud, letting the silence stretch out so long that Merlin poked his head around the door. 'You alright in there, Pendragon? I thought you might've choked on your own vomit.'
Merlin looked all too perky for Arthur's liking. He looked clean, his skin looked good, he was freshly dressed in a shirt and jeans, and he was eating an apple.
'I feel like a pig shat in my head,' Arthur said, with a grimace, spitting in the sink. 'Toothbrush?'
'Erm, I've got a spare somewhere,' Merlin rummaged under his sink.
'Why, get lots of good-looking young men unexpectedly spending the night?' Arthur winked, before abruptly realising that all he was wearing was his boxers. He yelped, covered himself like a blushing virgin. 'Did I-' he swallowed. 'Did you-'
'I slept in the spare room,' Merlin said. 'Don't flatter yourself, Pendragon, I like my men sober.' He handed Arthur the toothbrush. 'You've got to get out of here in approximately thirty-seven minutes. There's a spare towel but I don't think my clothes will fit you.'
'Are you calling me fat?' Arthur bristled, indignantly, still trying to cover his entire torso with his hands.
Merlin skated his eyes over his chest, 'Not fat,' he said, eventually, with a grin. 'Just bulky.' There was something about Merlin's eyes on his skin that made Arthur prickle with interest. Part of him wanted to stand here and flirt; part of him was still reeling from boyfriend and studying and goodlooking; a bigger part of him still wanted to throw up.
'I'll leave you to it then, try not to be too long. I'm going to make coffee - do you want one?'
Arthur shook his head, 'Water, please. Alkaseltzer?'
Merlin smirked, 'Sure.'
'Wait,' Arthur said, as he turned to leave. 'How come you're so full of the joys of spring this morning, hmm?'
Merlin shrugged, 'I don't know. I just drank a lot of water before bed.' He turned to leave, calling over his shoulder, 'And maybe I can just take my booze better than you can.'
Once the door was shut Arthur jumped into the shower, enjoying the feel of the hot water washing away the sweat and alcohol which seemed to be leaking from his every pore. So Merlin had a boyfriend. But he thought Arthur was good-looking. Why did Arthur even care? He ducked his head under the spray. He didn't remember much of last night bar the Jilly Cooper argument and Guitar Hero. A sudden sliver of horror shot up through his spine then - had he told Merlin where he knew him from? They'd been talking about shit clubs, he vaguely remembered, as they stumbled out of Gordon's at closing time, oh god, had he suggested they go on to G-A-Y? Had he?
He paused, horror-struck. He just couldn't remember, that was the problem. As he rinsed Merlin's girly-smelling shampoo from his hair he talked himself down from his paranoia spiral. He hadn't told Merlin. He definitely hadn't. As far as Merlin remembered, Arthur was straight as a fucking die. And why would Merlin ever think otherwise? Everything about Arthur said 'womanizer', from the office gossip, down to the fact that Miss Rose Snow - the anonymous literary agent/gossip columnist - had given him her Casanova of the Year 2010 Award. An award she had created just for him.
By the time Arthur was cleaned up and dressed in his crinkled clothes downstairs he had convinced himself that he hadn't said a word. 'I'd better get out before your boyfriend sees me,' he winked at Merlin, the Alkaseltzer fizzing comfortingly in his stomach. 'Although I'm slightly worried as to how young he's got to be if he's coming over to revise? What are we talking here - A-levels? Uni?'
'He's doing his accountancy exams,' Merlin said, rolling his eyes. 'His house is far too noisy to study. He's twenty-six, Arthur.'
'Ah, you like a younger man then,' Arthur's grin felt forced, unnatural.
'Not always,' Merlin said, consideringly, sipping his coffee. 'Sometimes I find an older man irresistible.'
Was he flirting, Arthur wondered. No. No way. 'Well, thanks for letting me stay,' he said awkwardly.
'I didn't really have much choice,' there were those dimples in his cheek again, and there went the pit of Arthur's stomach. 'You stripped off, crawled in and passed out. I'm starting to wonder if that Casanova of the Year Award was particularly well-deserved.'
Arthur blushed and busied himself putting his coat and shoes on, and looking anywhere but Merlin's knowing smile. 'Well, I'll see you in the office later, yeah?'
'Yeah,' Merlin nodded eagerly. 'And thanks Arthur, I had a really good night. Well, up until the final gin & tonic when I started to feel a little bit... ropey.' He winced, rubbed his temples.
'See you later,' Arthur grabbed his briefcase - thank god he hadn't left it anywhere - and let himself out, blinking into the sunshine.
***
The next week and a half was a blur for Arthur. Everywhere he went Merlin seemed to be. Smiling, laughing, making jokes, endearing himself to everyone in the office. Part of Arthur was still jealous, but a bigger part of Arthur was intrigued by him, by the way his dark hair fell over his collar. By how in some lights he looked awkward and young, but when the light hit him right he was transformed into a guy so good-looking he was basically beautiful. Ethereal even.
Arthur cursed himself, when did he start using words like ethereal?
His confusion manifested itself in a variety of ways. He started getting in early and absolutely beasting through his work. He let Gwen come in to the meeting with the author of the Soweto proposal. He swallowed his pride and asked Gwen to talk him through the finer details of collaboration agreements. And he surprised her one morning by bringing her a latte.
'Arthur, that's really nice of you,' she smiled, and the shock on her face made him feel bad. That such a small gesture could have so much meaning for her.
'Well, you always do it for me so...' he shrugged, embarrassed.
He stopped drinking so much, as he found it made him maudlin. He found himself reading all of the books Merlin represented. And he kept catching himself watching Merlin, finding excuses to email him little things or jokes, sometimes even (daringly) putting a kiss on the end of the emails. He didn't know what was wrong with him.
He also kept finding a way to drop Merlin into conversation.
'You've got mentionitis, Pendragon,' Leon said, one night, when they were watching the footie and he'd cracked open a few Coronas.
'Nah mate,' Arthur crinkled his brow. 'I went to the clinic two months ago and I'm completely clean.'
Leon started laughing then, a proper belly laugh. 'It's not a fucking STD you knob! I meant you can't stop mentioning that Merlin bloke.'
'Can too,' Arthur said, not sure whether he was more aghast at making such a stupid mistake or at Leon accusing him of talking about Merlin too much.
He even tried fucking Merlin out of his system but even when Flora's legs bent up around his shoulders and he thrust in deep, her moans spilling out with every thrust, he could feel that his heart wasn't in it.
That itch was back. He hadn't been with a guy for four months. But he couldn't tell now if he wanted to fuck a guy, or if he wanted to fuck Merlin.
'You alright Arthur?' Merlin asked, one morning, poking his head round Arthur's office door where was staring fixedly into space.
'Oh god,' Arthur jumped, coming back to himself with a bump, 'yeah, just had a bit of a late one last night.'
'Oh really?' Merlin waggled his eyebrows suggestively, coming in and plonking himself down on the sofa with a contented sigh. Arthur's sofa was definitely the most comfortable in the office. 'Which of your many conquests kept you up last night?'
Arthur sighed, 'Flora,' he admitted. He'd told Merlin the whole Flora saga. She was a PR executive at Pendragon Press. He'd met her at a Frankfurt Book Fair dinner last year, they'd flirted all night and then he'd screwed her in his hotel room at the Frankfurter Hof. Her legs were really long, and her arse was phenomenal. And it didn't matter if he didn't call her for weeks, when he did, there she'd be - her smile as dirty as ever and full of inventive promise.
'Does she mind just being your fuck-buddy?' Merlin asked. There was no judgement in his tone, just curiosity.
'I don't know,' Arthur admitted, biting at his lip. 'She doesn't really know me, we barely speak. We just have great sex and go to expensive restaurants and bars. But I've decided it needs to stop.' As he said it he realised that it was true.
'Why?' Merlin looked surprised. 'You said the sex was phenomenal.'
'Yeah,' Arthur admitted, running through a whole series of pervy memories in his mind. The time when she'd brought along a friend had been especially memorable. 'But, and this probably sounds really stupid, I think I might have grown out of disposable sex with women I don't like.'
'Woah,' Merlin exhaled, smiling slightly, 'that's a pretty big decision, Pendragon.'
'It's one I wish my Dad would make,' Arthur sighed. 'He's sixty and still doing it. It's not seemly.'
'What's prompted this change of heart, Arthur?' Merlin asked, his head on one side, his expression earnest.
'Fuck I don't know, I'm just getting older I suppose.'
His phone went then, which was good as he was perilously close to admitting 'because I can't get you out of my head, Merlin'.
'I'll leave you to it then,' Merlin said, levering himself up from the comfy cushions and straightening his crumpled levis.
It was Gwen, 'Flora keeps calling. I've told her you've been in meetings all day but it's getting ludicrous now. Will you just take the call?'
Arthur sighed hard, pinched the bridge of his nose, 'Fine, put her through.'
'Arthur Pendragon speaking.'
'Arthur it's Flora.'
'Flora, a pleasure as ever.'
'This isn't really a social call,' she said.
'Oh?'
'I've got something to tell you.'
'Oh.' Shit. She was pregnant. She was definitely, definitely pregnant. Yes he'd always used a condom but he blatantly had superior sperm, didn't he?
'Your father has asked me out for dinner.'
'Oh.' Well then. That was unexpected.
'I'm going to go. So from now on, you and I are no more.'
Arthur leaned back in his chair, fought the urge to put his feet on his desk, and felt the shit-eating grin spread its way across his face. 'No problem. My lips are sealed.'
'Thank you,' her voice was clipped. This was obviously embarrassing for her.
'Well, goodbye then Flora,' he hung up the phone and burst into peals of laughter.
Gwen came scurrying in looking worried, 'Are you okay? What's happened? What was so urgent?' She stopped then, looked at him, 'I thought you were crying.'
'I thought she was pregnant,' he said, happily. 'But she just dumped me, because my Dad's asked her out.'
'Ew,' Gwen wrinkled her nose. 'That's one step up from incest. And why are you so happy about it?'
'I was going to break it off anyway,' he said, idly scrolling through some of the filthier emails she'd sent him, wondering what his father would make of them. 'This way I don't have to be the bad guy.'
'But your Dad,' she shuddered ostentatiously. 'He's a bit of a silver fox but she's only twenty-five, and she's been shagging for you 8 months!'
'Ah whatever,' he shrugged. 'It's quite funny when you think about it.' He raised an eyebrow then, finding some photo messages she'd sent him from a business trip this year. Maybe he would miss her more than he thought.
'You did say you were too busy for women,' Gwen pointed out. 'It's a bit gross, but a blessing in disguise I suppose.' She bent down and picked Puff up, 'Puff agrees.' She made him wave a paw at Arthur.
Arthur snorted. Gwen was taking more and more liberties with him these days. But he kind of liked it. 'I'm glad Puff approves. Now go and do some work,' but he smiled as he said it to soften it.
'Coffee?' she asked, putting the dog down.
'Nah, I can make my own,' he said. 'Thanks.'
***
It was the Tuesday of the Book Fair and Arthur was exhausted. He'd been back to back in meetings since 9am and he was already sick of the sound of his own voice, sick of the overpriced food, and sick of air-kissing people he swore he'd never met before.
'Yep, it's already sold in seven territories,' he said to the earnest Spanish publisher who was nodding and smiling at his every word. 'He's due to deliver the text in April this year so I can send the unedited manuscript over then, unless you'd prefer to wait for first page proofs in August?'
'We're very keen to see it as soon as possible, so April would suit us,' she said. She gave him her business card which he stapled to his page of notes.
'A pleasure to meet you,' they shook hands.
He checked his watch. He had four minutes until his next one, with the Swedish option publisher for Jane Munro, one of his historians.
'Coffee?' one was plonked down in front of him and Merlin took the seat next to him at the table, not waiting for an invitation. He was wearing a suit for once and had his namebadge pinned to his lapel.
'God, I'd bloody love one,' Arthur picked it up and began to gulp it, feeling the need for a caffeine injection.
'It's not the soy hazelnut whip latte or whatever it is you make Gwen go out and get you,' he said. 'But caffeine is caffeine.' He took a sip and closed his eyes, 'Ah, beautiful, beautiful overpriced coffee.'
'How have your meetings gone so far?'
'Alright, quite a lot of interest in my titles. I'm fucking bored though. My throat is so sore, and is it always this hot here? Was it this hot last year? I can't remember. Regardless, my sweatpatches are insane.'
'Gross,' Arthur said. But he didn't mean it. He didn't find anything gross about Merlin. He could admit it to himself now. He had a crush on him, in a way he hadn't crushed on anyone since. Well. Ever. Arthur Pendragon didn't fancy people from afar: they fancied him. Or he found them attractive, seduced them, and then shagged them. He didn't do this, whatever it was. But Merlin interested him. He called him on his bad behaviour - and it wasn't annoying like when Morgana did it. He challenged Arthur, and he made him laugh.
'Can you get me in to the Pendragon Press party tonight?' Merlin asked. 'I gave you a disgusting coffee - it's the least you can do to get me in to a really extravagant and expensive party at The Savoy.'
Arthur rolled his eyes, 'If I can't exploit nepotism to get my friends into parties then what is it really good for?'
'Good,' Merlin looked pleased. 'See you later then, your 4 o'clock's here,' he gestured to three blond, very tall men. The Swedes. Of course.
***
The Princess Ida room at The Savoy was wall-to-wall with the great and the good in publishing. To be honest, all Arthur really wanted to do was go home and sleep, and take a load of Berocca to try to fend off the cold he always ended up getting after LBF.
He grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter. 'Where are the canapes coming from?' Merlin was loitering at his elbow, chewing a crab puff. 'I reckon if we figure it out we cut them off at the source, get all the best ones.'
Arthur rolled his eyes, 'Don't you earn enough to eat?' he said. 'I'd have thought your accountant boyfriend could treat you to dinner occasionally.' His tone was light but he didn't look at Merlin as he said it.
'We broke up,' Merlin shrugged. Helping himself to a shot of soup from a waiter. 'Ooh, what is this?'
'You broke up?' Arthur interrupted.
'Yeah, it wasn't really going anywhere.' Merlin knocked the soup back, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
'You're so uncouth,' Arthur hissed, but he was laughing, joy bubbling up from somewhere in his stomach.
'Uncouth?' Merlin cocked an eyebrow. 'Seriously? What other 1920s words are you going to crack out next? Louche?' he asked. 'Dandified?' He struck a pose.
'Be serious,' Arthur grinned, before the smile slid off his face.
'What, what?' Merlin tugged his sleeve. 'You look like someone's just died?'
'It's my Dad, arm-in-arm with Flora.'
'Ooooh, where, where?' Merlin craned his head to look and Arthur grabbed his sleeve.
'Stop it, I don't want them to notice us.'
'He's your Dad,' Merlin pointed out, reasonably, stopping to grab another piece of bruschetta.
'Yeah but it's still weird seeing him with someone who's spent a considerable amount of time sitting on my face,' he hissed.
Merlin choked on the bruschetta, before washing it down with some wine. 'Thanks for the mental image, Pendragon. Look, they're coming over.' He fastidiously brushed the crumbs off his cuffs and straightened his blue tie.
'Arthur,' Uther said, reaching his hand out to formally take Arthur's.
'Father,' he shook it back, wincing at his Dad's bone-crushing grip.
'I don't believe you've met Flora?' he gestured to where she stood, looking stunning in a pastel blue dress, her hair loose around her shoulders.
'Oh, erm, no,' Arthur lied. 'Pleasure,' he kissed her awkwardly on both cheeks. Her skin felt hot and flushed against his. No matter how odd he felt, she had to be feeling worse.
'And Dad this is Merlin,' he ushered him forward. 'New literary agent at work, specialises in fiction.'
Uther looked him up and down before shaking his hand finally, 'Good to meet you. The name is certainly familiar - is Rose Trewin one of yours?'
'Yes,' Merlin nodded eagerly, 'Poppy Wright's the editor. Her last book reached the top five so I have big hopes for the next one.'
'Good, good,' he looked away at the crowd. 'Maybe you can teach my son a thing or two,' he clapped them both on the shoulder and he was off, Flora's perfume lingering.
'Can we get some fresh air?' Arthur asked, suddenly. It felt very hot. Claustrophobic. His throat felt tight.
'Of course,' Merlin was all concern. He ushered Arthur out ahead of him, squeezing them through the constricting crowds until they were outside.
'Do you need a cab, sir?' One of the doormen asked but Merlin waved him away, tugged Arthur into one of the darker recesses to the side of The Savoy.
'What's wrong?' he asked. 'Was it seeing Flora?' He squeezed Arthur's arm.
'No, it's,' Arthur bit his lip, ran his hand through sweaty hair. 'It's my Dad. He never makes me feel like I'm good enough. No matter what I do. I'm never good enough. He could have asked after one of my authors couldn't he? Could have said well done? But no.' He looked stonily into the distance, his hands in fists in his pockets.
'He is proud of you,' Merlin said, gently. 'He has to be. He just doesn't know how to show it.'
'Whatever I do, it's never enough,' Arthur said, again. 'I'm never going to be good enough.'
Merlin tugged his face round to look at him then, his long fingers cool on Arthur's hot skin. 'You are good enough,' he said simply.
Later, Arthur would put it down to emotions running high, to the champagne he'd drunk, to anything else he could seize upon as an excuse. But the real reason was that something in Merlin's gaze, in the way his dark hair fell over his ears, in how he looked in his suit struck Arthur suddenly and a wave of tenderness rolled over him. He put his hand on Merlin's chin, tilted it. 'I want to kiss you,' he said, suddenly, not sure where the words were coming from.
Merlin didn't look shocked. He just looked pleased. 'Oh,' he said, smiling slightly. His eyes darted from Arthur's intent gaze to his lips, to Arthur's eyes, to his lips, and then he leaned in. The kiss was short, sweet almost, Arthur's hand slipped round to Merlin's hair, slipped through it. They pulled away and Merlin smiled against his lips, 'We should probably go back to the party. You can't be caught out here snogging like a teenager.'
'I don't want to go back to the party,' Arthur said, mutinously, one of his hands curved around Merlin's slender hips. 'I want to go back to mine. And I want you to come with me. My flatmate's away all week.'
'Is this a good idea?' Merlin asked, even whilst his hand twined around Arthur's. 'We work together.'
'I don't care,' Arthur said. 'I just want you, okay? I have since I first saw you. You do something to me and I don't know why, but you make me want to... be a better person,' he finished, lamely.
'Who knew you were such a secret romantic?' Merlin asked, leading them on to The Strand, hailing a cab, one hand still firmly gripping Arthur's wrist.
They sat in silence all the way home, their fingers entwined, Arthur's thumb sliding over Merlin's wrist. He purposefully wasn't letting himself think about what this would mean. The alcohol was dulling his common sense enough that he could convince himself that if they did this, just once, maybe he would get over it. That he could go back to bullying Gwen, fucking anonymous women, and shagging his way round London publishing, and all of these feelings would dissipate, like they had never existed at all.
Merlin kept squeezing his hand, smiling, and Arthur felt like a dizzy teenager as he led him up the steps to his front door.
'Wow, someone's landed on his feet,' Merlin grinned, taking in their surroundings. It was a whole house. A house in London. Okay so it was pretty narrow and the rooms were hardly massive but it had a balcony, and two bedrooms, and Arthur loved it.
'Come here,' he said, pulling Merlin in to kiss him again. His tongue slid against Merlin's, Merlin's stubble harsh on his skin. Merlin moaned in to his mouth, pressing up against him, his erection hard against Arthur's hip. Arthur kept kissing him even as he shrugged his jacket off and pulled off his tie. It was like he was drunk on Merlin's taste, on his skin. He didn't want to stop. Merlin pulled back, gasping, 'Alright Pendragon, calm down, I'm not going anywhere. I've wanted to do this for a while,' his smile was mischievous.
'For how long? Arthur asked, unbuttoning his shirt, hungrily watching Merlin slip out of his clothes and closing the distance between them again.
'Since that night in G-A-Y?' Merlin said, pulling back to see Arthur's reaction.
'You remember?' Arthur flickered his eyes shut, suddenly too embarrassed to look at him.
'Of course I remember. Incredibly hot city-boy like you? And I knew who you were,' Merlin pointed out. 'I'd seen your profile in The Bookseller. I wanted to take you home then but you were fucking smashed.'
'Yeah,' Arthur agreed. 'Why didn't you say anything?'
Merlin shrugged, unbuttoning his trousers and sliding them off slim hips. 'It's a bit awkward to bring up, yeah? 'Hi Arthur, I'm your new colleague, and by the way, I know you secretly pull men you pick up in gay-bars.''
Arthur wanted to protest more, to discuss this more, but then Merlin was naked and all he wanted to do was push him down onto the sofa and lick him everywhere. So he did.
'You're so fit,' Arthur said, mouthing down Merlin's collarbones and kissing his chest. 'I've tried to get you out of my system but there's something about you.'
'Yeah?' Merlin smiled. 'I think there's something about you too.' He curled his hands into Arthur's hair, pushed his head lower. Arthur kissed his way down his stomach, right the way down to his erection, which was hard, and wet.
Arthur hid his head against Merlin's thigh then, suddenly embarrassed.
'Stop being such a pricktease, Arthur,' Merlin said, and Arthur could feel the smile in his voice.
'I don't normally do this,' he said, voice muffled against Merlin's skin.
'I didn't imagine you did,' Merlin said. 'Someone like you, getting down on his knees?'
Arthur smiled, let his tongue snake out, licked the tip of Merlin's dick. Merlin moaned, and Arthur, encouraged, turned his attention to trying to make him make that sound again. He let the head slide over his lips, messy and wet, before opening his mouth, letting it push in slowly, sucking gently.
'You feel so good,' Merlin whispered.
Arthur looked up, shyly through his lashes, and Merlin was watching him unblinking. 'Oh fuck', he moaned, as he made eye-contact with Arthur, Arthur sliding his mouth down deeper, refusing to break their gaze. Arthur started bobbing his head then, brought his hand up to rub Merlin's dick where he couldn't fit it into his mouth. He pulled off then to lick the head, tonguing the underside, feeling Merlin leaking pre-come and rutting helplessly against him, sighing with relief as he managed to push his dick back inside Arthur's warm, wet mouth. He thrust shallowly for a few minutes before he said, 'I don't want to come in your mouth, Arthur.'
Arthur pulled off, his dick sliding out of his mouth with an obscene wet sound. He continued to rub Merlin's dick with his hand, marvelling at how turned on he was getting just from doing this to someone else. But it wasn't just someone else was it? It was Merlin. 'Where do you want to come?' he asked, when he could look away from the mesmerising motion of his hand over Merlin's cock, the red wet head sliding through his fist.
'Ah, fuck, well I'm going to do it all over your hand if you don't stop,' Merlin shifted back out of his reach and Arthur frowned, leaning up and over him, kissing him again.
'I want to come inside you,' Merlin said.
'Yes, inside my mouth,' Arthur said, biting at Merlin's lower lip. 'And then I'll fuck you.'
Merlin rolled his eyes, shoved ineffectually at his chest. 'Have you ever been fucked?' he asked.
Arthur pulled off in horror, 'No!'
Merlin laughed at his expression, then let his voice go quiet, filthy in the silent room, 'You've never had someone's dick inside you? Never had them sliding deep into you, feeling them everywhere, their hand on your dick in time with their thrusts, feeling them coming inside you whilst you tighten around them, wanting them to fuck you so hard you'll feel it for days.'
There was something magical about Merlin's words, 'You shouldn't be an agent,' he said, eventually, rubbing his erection messily over Merlin's stomach. 'You should be a writer, a writer of hot gay porn' because he had been horrified before. The idea of it! The indignity! Didn't Merlin know who he was! But now he wanted well... that, what Merlin said, to feel Merlin's long dick push inside him, to feel him come inside him.
'Can I take that as a yes then,' Merlin's long fingers slid between their bodies and although the angle was awkward he still managed to let Arthur thrust into his hand a few times.
'Yes,' Arthur said, his eyes closed, his face pushed against Merlin's shoulder. 'There's lube and condoms in my jacket pocket.' Merlin pushed him off and got up, Arthur lay on his stomach, feeling his erection throb. 'Or in the drawer under the coffee table. Or the cutlery drawer.'
'You keep condoms in your cutlery drawer?' Merlin's voice was outraged.
'I like to be prepared!' Arthur said. 'Which I think you'll find, in this day and age, is admirable.'
'Come on,' Merlin tugged him up and he should have looked ridiculous like this, naked and hair messed, his erection red and heavy between his legs but Arthur couldn't ever remember feeling this turned on. 'Bed.'
Arthur kept kissing him, dragging him against his body until they almost fell going up the stairs and he reluctantly pulled himself away. He lay back on his pillows, arms behind his head. He'd never been shy.
'Look at you,' Merlin said, and there was something like reverence in his words as his eyes travelled down Arthur's chest, to where his erection was. Arthur wrapped his hand around it, stroking himself slowly, moaning into it, sluttish, putting on a show.
'I can't believe no one's done this to you before,' Merlin shook his head. 'Your arse is perfect.'
'Yeah, well, no one seduced me with their dirty talk before,' Arthur pointed out, still stroking his erection.
'Roll over,' Merlin said, sliding a pillow beneath Arthur's hips.
It was embarrassing and undignified, Arthur thought, his legs sliding open, his arse in the air where Merlin could see everything.
Merlin's hand slid down his arse, sliding into the cleft, his finger cool and slick. Arthur tensed at his touch then but Merlin just kissed his shoulder. 'You're so hot like this,' his voice was low and dirty. 'If anyone could see you now, Arthur Pendragon, desperate to be fucked.'
Arthur moaned, 'Please,' and Merlin pushed one finger inside him. At first it felt odd, awkward, but then Merlin urged him up onto his hands and knees, wrapped his hand around Arthur's cock until he found himself thrusting back against him. 'More,' he murmured, embarrassed like he knew he shouldn't want it but did.
Merlin pushed a second finger in with the first, rubbing then scissoring, slowly stretching Arthur out for his cock. 'You love this don't you,' he whispered, mouthing Arthur's spine. 'You need this. Somewhere where you don't have to be on top for once, where you can let someone else be in charge of you, make you do what they want.' He added a third finger and all Arthur could do was let his head hang down, panting, as Merlin rubbed against that sweet spot inside him which made him want to shove himself back against him.
'Please, Merlin,' he said eventually, 'I want you inside me.'
Merlin pulled his fingers out then, and Arthur heard the sound of him sliding a condom on. It suddenly felt unbearably intimate - he couldn't look at him, couldn't, and then the blunt head of Merlin's dick was pressed against his arsehole, and he was pushing slowly in.
'Relax,' he breathed, his hand coming round Arthur's hip to slide over Arthur's erection, stroking him until he felt like he was on the edge. And then, only then, did Merlin slide all the way in.
'Fuck,' Arthur said, shakily. It felt like nothing he'd ever done before. He felt full, could feel Merlin's erection throbbing inside him, could tell that he was trying to hold back, trying to wait for Arthur to move against him. 'Fuck me,' he said, and it was wrong, all wrong, but it felt so good and he couldn't not thrust back against Merlin, messing up the rhythm as Merlin thrust in and out. In and out. 'Arthur, Arthur, Arthur,' he kept saying, like a litany and all Arthur could do was fuck jerkily into Merlin's hand as Merlin's dick rubbed at something inside him that made every part of him feel weak.
'I'm going to, Merlin, fuck, I'm nearly there, I'm,' and Merlin tightened his grip around Arthur's dick as he came, spurting over Merlin's fingers and slumping down onto his elbows. Merlin put both hands on his hips then, thrusting faster and faster. 'You're so hot like this, Arthur, so fucking hot, you love having my dick in your arse don't you? I can tell you,' and then his words were mindless, tumbling over one another as his thrusts became syncopated and Arthur could feel him coming inside him.
'Fuck,' Merlin slumped over him, sweaty in a way that should have been disgusting but simply felt fitting. He pulled out gingerly and Arthur rolled over, his breath still coming fast, feeling flushed all over. He watched him throw the condom away and then he came back to bed, sat on the edge, kissed Arthur's shoulder. 'Alright?' was all he said, but there was something in the way he said it that felt like he was asking more.
'Alright, yeah,' Arthur agreed, squeezing his wrist, pulling him into bed to kiss him again. 'You can stay if you want?' he asked, trying not to sound needy.
'Better not,' Merlin shook his head ruefully. 'We've got to be back at Earls Court at 9am tomorrow. I've got no clean clothes. I'll look like a kid playing dress up if I wear yours.'
'Oh,' Arthur let go of his wrist, lay back against the pillows and pulled the duvet over his chest. He felt vulnerable. He never asked people to stay over. Never. And if he did, well, they wouldn't turn him down.
'See you tomorrow yeah? I'll let myself out,' and with one last quirk of a smile Merlin was gone, leaving Arthur alone in his bedroom, feeling like he'd done something wrong, but not sure what.
***
He avoided Merlin the next day, which was pretty hard given that they had their meetings at the same block of tables. Gone was the easy camaraderie they'd built up over the past two weeks. He caught Merlin's eyes once, just once, and Merlin's slid away, back to the Japanese sub-agents he was chatting to. He didn't make any move to come and bring Arthur coffee, or email him, or even just say 'hi'. He nodded at him formally when Arthur made a point of waving. But that was it.
Arthur felt hurt, and embarrassed, and sore. He called Gwen just to shout at her, then emailed Gen to accuse her of not forwarding on all of his post, and finally he texted Theresa, an ex-girlfriend, and asked her if she wanted to come over that weekend. None of these things made him feel better. Instead they made him feel worse.
He left the fair as soon as humanly possible and shrugged off all of the invitations to after-Fair drinks, and parties, smiling ruefully and saying 'sorry, I think I'm coming down with something'. He went home and put on his dressing-gown, ate chicken Supernoodles, and picked up his battered copy of Riders. He was glad Leon was away. If he caught him like this he'd never live it down.
He was just at the bit where Jake was having an affair with Helen when he heard a knocking on his front-door. He ignored it. It was probably Jehovah's Witnesses or something.
He went back to the book, chewing at his thumbnail as he read.
The knocking was back and he frowned to himself, unable to stay fixated on the highs and lows of showjumping and Rupert Campbell-Black whilst that racket was going on. He belted his dressing-gown securely around himself and went downstairs.
'Who is it?' he called gingerly.
'Merlin,' came the reply.
'What do you want?' Arthur asked, making no move to open the door.
'To talk to you.' Merlin said.
'Go on then, talk,' Arthur said. 'You can say whatever you need to from out there.'
There was silence then, and he thought Merlin had gone away, and he sighed and went to trudge back upstairs.
'I didn't mean to ignore you today,' Merlin said, finally. 'Or not to stay last night. But as your track record with men tends to be anonymous fucks in alleys I didn't think-'
'Alright, alright, come in then,' Arthur fumbled with the lock, wondering what the hell his neighbours would think
Merlin was still in his suit from LBF, and he had his hands in his pockets, looking awkward and rumpled. 'I wanted to pre-empt you pretending this hadn't happened, so it couldn't hurt when you rejected me,' was the first thing he said, as if he'd been rehearsing saying that all of the way over there.
Arthur blinked, took a step backwards. 'Why did you presume that's how I'd act?' But he knew how lame it sounded.
'Erm, because ostensibly you're straight, and you shag around a lot, and I saw you in G-A-Y but you never, ever made any reference to the fact that you might have an interest in men. What was I supposed to think?'
Arthur crossed his arms, feeling stupid and vulnerable in his dressing gown. 'Well if that's how you feel then why are you even here?'
Merlin sighed, ran his hands through his hair. 'Because I like you a lot, and I thought about you all day and you looked so lost when you looked at me. I just... I don't want this to be just one night that we never talk about again. I like spending time with you, and I like how smart you are, and how good you look in a suit. And I liked what we did last night,' he half-smiled, looked pleadingly at Arthur. 'I just like you.'
Later Arthur would put what he did next down to feeling overly emotional after reading Riders, or to the fact he was coming down with a cold, or even to how adorable Merlin looked in a suit. But the truth was it was just that he felt like he was falling for Merlin. He closed the space between them and kissed Merlin hard, sliding his tongue over Merlin's. 'I like you too,' he said, smiling.
***
Three years later...
The Bookseller: Pendragon and Emrys form new agency
The golden boys of Paterson & Oriel have made a bold move, leaving the agency to set up on their own. They take with them Gwen Thomas, and three other agents from CW. With numerous bestselling authors of non-fiction and fiction under their belts this partnership is one we will watch with interest.
'So, Pendragon,' Merlin smiled, putting the soy hazelnut whip latte down on Arthur's new desk. 'You believe me now that the two of us were destined for greatness?'
'Yes,' Arthur said, tugging his tie down for a kiss, ignoring the horrified yell of Gwen who was transporting her stuff into her new office in a cardboard box. 'I do.'
-- end