The mother of all RP horror stories, Part XVI
Previous Parts: Day 1: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X
Day 2: XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV
Someday I'll actually finish this thing...
I find myself still reeling over how anything about this premise is supposed to be considered viable. There is just no measure by which Yuna should be deemed worth ANY of this special treatment. He refuses to do the job. He treats this crime boss like crap. He owes the crime boss a ton of money. And said crime boss is sacrificing a ton MORE money to protect Yuna's perfect little hotness so that Yuna can continue to have his way in a job he doesn't like or want, doesn't do well and in some aspects won't do at all. All under the supposed justification of repaying a debt. Hitachi undoubtedly loses far more money paying for Yuna's room accommodations-- and then Rasu's salary and room-- than he gains from Yuna's on-my-own-terms "work."
What's really sad? sevendials pointed out that just ONE change could have made this work. It still wouldn't have been great, but it at least wouldn't have stretched plausibility like pants at Thanksgiving. One change: Make Yuna the boss's son, not his super-hot sex toy. Do that, and it better explains why Yuna gets away with being a brat to Hitachi. It explains why all the luxurious accommodations. It explains why all the extra security and precaution. It explains why the extra security and precaution might be warranted.
IT COULD HAVE WORKED!
Except that all would have meant losing the "My Stu is hot and everyone wants him and how he SUFFERS for being so pretty" angle, so it never would have flown.
Anyway, let's pick back up, shall we?
Izumiz Angel: Rasu followed the secretary down the hall, more worried for her than Yuna. "Does he get like this often?" He asked quietly, and after Yuna had slammed the door. Well, for someone so injured and stiff, he apparently was still in pretty good shape to be able to stomp and slam. Really, he seemed kind of like a brat to Rasu.
He took the keycard and smiled again, listening to her directions and nodding along in understanding. "Got it. Thanks for all your help! Wow, this room is great! Are you sure you're okay...?" He asked again, still concerned over her skittish behavior. "Is it me? Is it Yuna? Something else?"
Yes, that is an IC reaction being used to make an OOC criticism. No, it is not the most mature course of action. I don't care. Why? Because 1) it's already been established that OOC crit gets ignored and dismissed. 2) It's not an issue of character portrayal but of an ICly observable behavior that's incompatible with an in-game fact that was ALSO ICly observable that Rasu would be OOC not to notice. And 3) here she is ignoring what should realistically even be POSSIBLE for her character just a few minutes after that shitfit because HOW CAN A JAPANESE CHARACTER HAVE NATURALLY RED HAIR.
Nope, not sorry about this one.
[redacted]: The secretary seemed slightly more relaxed now that Yuna wasn't present, though she was still somewhat embarrassed and awkward. Hesitating at Rasu's question, she debated with polite, professional manners and the need for honesty, biting her lip slightly.
"It's okay, Mr. Itsuki, don't worry over it," she said, smiling as she bowed slightly. "Yuna is...well, he has a temper, but he doesn't mean any harm." She looked as if she wanted to say more, but thought the better of it. There was only so much she was allowed to say, and it wasn't her place to question her employer, nor his staff.
Bowing again, she backed out the door. "Your things should be in the room for you, and if you need anything, the phone has instructions on how to contact whoever you might need." Flashing another smile, she departed back down the hall.
A few moments after the secretary left, the door between Yuna and Rasu's room opened, and Yuna looked in. "How lucky for you, you get a free peep show," he snapped somewhat peevishly. Apparently, he'd noticed the cameras.
And I’d noticed that despite the player’s assurances that she was used to GMing and making lots of descriptions, she left it in my hands to figure out what Rasu’s room was like with the exception of those EVIL CAMERAS FOR EXTRA ANNNNGGGGST-- which, just to reiterate, is completely outside the bodyguard job we'd agreed he'd have in chat. Rasu was supposed to only be guarding him while he was ON SHIFT IN THE CLUB. Now we're back to that whole thing about treating Rasu's job more like that of a super-creepy jailkeeper. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME WHEN I SAID THREE TIMES IN A ROW THIS ANGLE WOULD NOT WORK FOR MY CHARACTER.
She had this description problem in the beginning, too, utterly failing to add anything to the office depiction that might have been helpful. Like the smell of leather and cigars, or the tick of a clock on the wall sweating the seconds past. Sure, she offered a few token details-- light cream walls, a potted plant, a desk with some plush chairs facing it and a proclamation that it was "fairly standard for its type." The problem? This is exactly the opposite of what you should want when you're talking about a crime boss. Don't you think his office should be just a weensy bit scarier to be in than the office of your local travel agent? Come on!
But setting aside complaints about room descriptions, where's all that description for how Yuna perceives or reacts to Rasu? Or anything in the way of deeper development period? We're still just seeing the lazy whatever-comes-to-mind-first stuff. No reflection on whether it makes sense for the character or the setting. No attention to what my character is saying or doing beyond the bare minimum needed to construct a reply. This is fine if that's the style of RP you're doing and you already know the character, but when you explicitly want description and depth AND admit flat out that you're using the RP to try to figure out your character? IT'S KIND OF NECESSARY.
It's also no surprise that what reply I -do- get is the secretary shilling for the writer's Stu. Yuna terrorizes her and treats her as less than human but she still only has positive things to say about him. It's another Sue Mark when no character intended to be sympathetic can speak ill of the character in question. And it's yet another one when this character can do no wrong: everything is defensible. "He just has a temper-- he means well!" Please! Why does the secretary have any sympathy or favorable sentiment for Yuna? He clearly hasn't gotten to the point of letting his guard down and being his "normal" self under the act around her. HE TREATS HER LIKE CRAP JUST BECAUSE HE CAN. And this random secretary who's coming under so much undeserved abuse from him is justifying that response? NO.
Which leaves me wondering about that "Nice Guy" stereotype she hates so much. Because uh, doesn't this secretary now qualify as that? If not, I have to say this kind of "nice guy" character is infinitely more sickening. I wouldn't expect much in the way of depth for this minor character no matter what, but come on, let's at least make her reactions realistic in that case! Because if you make them act against expectations, that means they need to be explained. And that means you had better be prepared to give that character MORE of a role, not less of one. Otherwise, STOP TRYING TO STEER RASU TOWARDS AGREEING WITH YOU.
Curiously, though, one might notice that the secretary has actually gotten MORE development and depth than Yuna. For the first time, we're actually seeing introspection and explanation for a character's words and actions. This, while welcomed in one sense, is really sad in another, because if ANY character should be getting that kind of treatment, it ought to be the main.
What's even sadder is that this brief interaction with the secretary is probably the best part of the RP. It was just such a relief to not have to deal with Yuna for even a short little bit.
Unfortunately, he's back all too soon in this last line, and I must say that for someone who so hates being seen as a sex object, Yuna seems pretty eager to define himself as one. Rasu has done nothing to suggest that he finds Yuna the least bit good-looking, let alone a vision of personal sexual desire. Yuna doesn't even know if Rasu is interested in men-- and let's not forget that 90% of the population is heterosexual. Yuna just assumes that of course Rasu wants him. And not only does he assume it, he vocalizes this assumption TO Rasu, even going so far as to call Rasu lucky for it. It's both nauseatingly conceited and obnoxiously presumptive. If Yuna doesn't like or want to be seen as a sex object, why is he immediately labeling himself as something Rasu should gawk at with no regard to personal privacy?
In better writing, this could be taken as being so used to it that he just expects it, but that ought to carry with it some level of acceptance of the fact. You know, that this is just a fact of life for him. Here the flippancy from that very first post could have been appropriate. More tragically, it would have added a bit of consistency to his character so that he might have an aspect of his behavior suggesting actual personality. But it's nowhere to be found now that Hitachi is out of the picture.
And this is all never minding the fact that most grown people have seen others with the same reproductive parts naked or nearly so at least once in a while, such as in the locker rooms of a health club or even high school gym class, and it's just not that big of a deal. Worse, it's even more commonplace in Japan, the country in which this story is set.
Mark it off as another change for her AU country with AU personalities that function off of AU logic.
Day 2: XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV
Someday I'll actually finish this thing...
I find myself still reeling over how anything about this premise is supposed to be considered viable. There is just no measure by which Yuna should be deemed worth ANY of this special treatment. He refuses to do the job. He treats this crime boss like crap. He owes the crime boss a ton of money. And said crime boss is sacrificing a ton MORE money to protect Yuna's perfect little hotness so that Yuna can continue to have his way in a job he doesn't like or want, doesn't do well and in some aspects won't do at all. All under the supposed justification of repaying a debt. Hitachi undoubtedly loses far more money paying for Yuna's room accommodations-- and then Rasu's salary and room-- than he gains from Yuna's on-my-own-terms "work."
What's really sad? sevendials pointed out that just ONE change could have made this work. It still wouldn't have been great, but it at least wouldn't have stretched plausibility like pants at Thanksgiving. One change: Make Yuna the boss's son, not his super-hot sex toy. Do that, and it better explains why Yuna gets away with being a brat to Hitachi. It explains why all the luxurious accommodations. It explains why all the extra security and precaution. It explains why the extra security and precaution might be warranted.
IT COULD HAVE WORKED!
Except that all would have meant losing the "My Stu is hot and everyone wants him and how he SUFFERS for being so pretty" angle, so it never would have flown.
Anyway, let's pick back up, shall we?
Izumiz Angel: Rasu followed the secretary down the hall, more worried for her than Yuna. "Does he get like this often?" He asked quietly, and after Yuna had slammed the door. Well, for someone so injured and stiff, he apparently was still in pretty good shape to be able to stomp and slam. Really, he seemed kind of like a brat to Rasu.
He took the keycard and smiled again, listening to her directions and nodding along in understanding. "Got it. Thanks for all your help! Wow, this room is great! Are you sure you're okay...?" He asked again, still concerned over her skittish behavior. "Is it me? Is it Yuna? Something else?"
Yes, that is an IC reaction being used to make an OOC criticism. No, it is not the most mature course of action. I don't care. Why? Because 1) it's already been established that OOC crit gets ignored and dismissed. 2) It's not an issue of character portrayal but of an ICly observable behavior that's incompatible with an in-game fact that was ALSO ICly observable that Rasu would be OOC not to notice. And 3) here she is ignoring what should realistically even be POSSIBLE for her character just a few minutes after that shitfit because HOW CAN A JAPANESE CHARACTER HAVE NATURALLY RED HAIR.
Nope, not sorry about this one.
[redacted]: The secretary seemed slightly more relaxed now that Yuna wasn't present, though she was still somewhat embarrassed and awkward. Hesitating at Rasu's question, she debated with polite, professional manners and the need for honesty, biting her lip slightly.
"It's okay, Mr. Itsuki, don't worry over it," she said, smiling as she bowed slightly. "Yuna is...well, he has a temper, but he doesn't mean any harm." She looked as if she wanted to say more, but thought the better of it. There was only so much she was allowed to say, and it wasn't her place to question her employer, nor his staff.
Bowing again, she backed out the door. "Your things should be in the room for you, and if you need anything, the phone has instructions on how to contact whoever you might need." Flashing another smile, she departed back down the hall.
A few moments after the secretary left, the door between Yuna and Rasu's room opened, and Yuna looked in. "How lucky for you, you get a free peep show," he snapped somewhat peevishly. Apparently, he'd noticed the cameras.
And I’d noticed that despite the player’s assurances that she was used to GMing and making lots of descriptions, she left it in my hands to figure out what Rasu’s room was like with the exception of those EVIL CAMERAS FOR EXTRA ANNNNGGGGST-- which, just to reiterate, is completely outside the bodyguard job we'd agreed he'd have in chat. Rasu was supposed to only be guarding him while he was ON SHIFT IN THE CLUB. Now we're back to that whole thing about treating Rasu's job more like that of a super-creepy jailkeeper. THANKS FOR LISTENING TO ME WHEN I SAID THREE TIMES IN A ROW THIS ANGLE WOULD NOT WORK FOR MY CHARACTER.
She had this description problem in the beginning, too, utterly failing to add anything to the office depiction that might have been helpful. Like the smell of leather and cigars, or the tick of a clock on the wall sweating the seconds past. Sure, she offered a few token details-- light cream walls, a potted plant, a desk with some plush chairs facing it and a proclamation that it was "fairly standard for its type." The problem? This is exactly the opposite of what you should want when you're talking about a crime boss. Don't you think his office should be just a weensy bit scarier to be in than the office of your local travel agent? Come on!
But setting aside complaints about room descriptions, where's all that description for how Yuna perceives or reacts to Rasu? Or anything in the way of deeper development period? We're still just seeing the lazy whatever-comes-to-mind-first stuff. No reflection on whether it makes sense for the character or the setting. No attention to what my character is saying or doing beyond the bare minimum needed to construct a reply. This is fine if that's the style of RP you're doing and you already know the character, but when you explicitly want description and depth AND admit flat out that you're using the RP to try to figure out your character? IT'S KIND OF NECESSARY.
It's also no surprise that what reply I -do- get is the secretary shilling for the writer's Stu. Yuna terrorizes her and treats her as less than human but she still only has positive things to say about him. It's another Sue Mark when no character intended to be sympathetic can speak ill of the character in question. And it's yet another one when this character can do no wrong: everything is defensible. "He just has a temper-- he means well!" Please! Why does the secretary have any sympathy or favorable sentiment for Yuna? He clearly hasn't gotten to the point of letting his guard down and being his "normal" self under the act around her. HE TREATS HER LIKE CRAP JUST BECAUSE HE CAN. And this random secretary who's coming under so much undeserved abuse from him is justifying that response? NO.
Which leaves me wondering about that "Nice Guy" stereotype she hates so much. Because uh, doesn't this secretary now qualify as that? If not, I have to say this kind of "nice guy" character is infinitely more sickening. I wouldn't expect much in the way of depth for this minor character no matter what, but come on, let's at least make her reactions realistic in that case! Because if you make them act against expectations, that means they need to be explained. And that means you had better be prepared to give that character MORE of a role, not less of one. Otherwise, STOP TRYING TO STEER RASU TOWARDS AGREEING WITH YOU.
Curiously, though, one might notice that the secretary has actually gotten MORE development and depth than Yuna. For the first time, we're actually seeing introspection and explanation for a character's words and actions. This, while welcomed in one sense, is really sad in another, because if ANY character should be getting that kind of treatment, it ought to be the main.
What's even sadder is that this brief interaction with the secretary is probably the best part of the RP. It was just such a relief to not have to deal with Yuna for even a short little bit.
Unfortunately, he's back all too soon in this last line, and I must say that for someone who so hates being seen as a sex object, Yuna seems pretty eager to define himself as one. Rasu has done nothing to suggest that he finds Yuna the least bit good-looking, let alone a vision of personal sexual desire. Yuna doesn't even know if Rasu is interested in men-- and let's not forget that 90% of the population is heterosexual. Yuna just assumes that of course Rasu wants him. And not only does he assume it, he vocalizes this assumption TO Rasu, even going so far as to call Rasu lucky for it. It's both nauseatingly conceited and obnoxiously presumptive. If Yuna doesn't like or want to be seen as a sex object, why is he immediately labeling himself as something Rasu should gawk at with no regard to personal privacy?
In better writing, this could be taken as being so used to it that he just expects it, but that ought to carry with it some level of acceptance of the fact. You know, that this is just a fact of life for him. Here the flippancy from that very first post could have been appropriate. More tragically, it would have added a bit of consistency to his character so that he might have an aspect of his behavior suggesting actual personality. But it's nowhere to be found now that Hitachi is out of the picture.
And this is all never minding the fact that most grown people have seen others with the same reproductive parts naked or nearly so at least once in a while, such as in the locker rooms of a health club or even high school gym class, and it's just not that big of a deal. Worse, it's even more commonplace in Japan, the country in which this story is set.
Mark it off as another change for her AU country with AU personalities that function off of AU logic.