The mother of all RP horror stories, Part XV
Previous Parts: Day 1: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X
Day 2: XI, XII XIII, XIV
Woops, fell off the planet again. Let's give this another try.
We left off with Rasu and Yuna finally making it away from Don Magoo. Let this be a lesson to all that you really cannot just wing in a character like this. Good antagonists are hard. They take real effort and real thought. Of course, given how little of either has gone into the Speshul Stu himself, I suppose nothing more could be expected for such a minor character by comparison.
It still would have been nice for her to at least have thought up a NAME for her Stu's primary torturer though. I just can't get over "Bob."
Izumiz Angel: Rasu really couldn't say he liked the superficiality of his boss's smiles. He didn't trust the guy, and realized it was going to be difficult to work under him so long as he didn't trust him. There was nothing to be done about it now, though. Maybe in time he'd feel more comfortable around him, but Rasu somehow doubted it.
"Thank you." He bowed again to Mr. Hitachi and escorted Yuna out, taking up a walk beside him once they were out the door.
The secretary was a welcome sight since she seemed more friendly and Rasu's eyes lit up, instantly taken to the most friendly person he'd found in the building thus far, even if it was only on a professional level. He took the packet gratefully with a genuine smile.
"Ah, thank you!" He answered enthusiastically, before it hit him a moment later that this meant he potentially had a lot of reading ahead of him, which he detested. He prayed there wouldn't be any fine print or legalese... or anything terribly confusing for that matter.
"So, am I supposed to go into your room or mine?" He asked, more to the air than to Yuna himself. "I've never been a bodyguard before; I'm not quite sure how it works. I guess that's why I have this packet." He laughed, a bit nervously.
[redacted]: ( *smacks Yuna for being rude* :-[ )
I've already gone into how stupid it is for him to be rude when he's got a job as a host, so let's just instead say how interesting it is for the player to recognize this is actually offputting. And still feel no need to give him redeeming features to compensate.
I had to bend Rasu's character here in an attempt to be consistent with the premise. There was nothing threatening or commanding of respect or wariness from the guy, but supposedly he's the leader of a gang, so in theory he should be treated as such. Whatever. And I already went into the problems with the packet.
[redacted]: Yuna hadn't been walking fast, though he hadn't paused to wait for Rasu or the secretary to catch up to him. Fortunately, the building had elevators, and he pressed the button to summon one when he reached the lobby area. Standing between the two elevator doors, he folded his hands in front of him, his back and shoulders rigidly straight.
At Rasu's question, Yuna blinked and slowly turned his head to look at the other man. "How comforting," he said, his tone blandly neutral and his expression still unchanged from its blank mask.
The secretary cleared her throat quietly and smiled hesitantly, somewhat nervously polite as she opened her mouth to speak. The dinging of the elevator interrupted her though, and a brief glare from Yuna made her shut her mouth. Shuffling into the elevator when the doors slid open, she held down the button to hold them after pressing the one for Yuna's floor.
Yuna walked carefully into the elevator and turned around, ignoring the secretary as he stared at Rasu.
Logistics here not adding up. Yuna isn't walking fast because he's so badly hurt he has to limp, and yet in spite of Rasu being right beside him just a few seconds ago, that super brief pause to greet the secretary gave Yuna such a lead he beats two healthy and able walkers to the elevators.
Also, why is the secretary afraid of Yuna? This is yet more "I am an angsty powerless victim but also totally running shit here." There's no reason for her to be so easily cowed like Yuna is this fearsome and superior being, or for Yuna to ACT like he's a fearsome and superior being. It's just more "look at Yuna's awesome."
And conveniently shifting the focus away from a character that isn't Yuna. The post gets written ahead to Yuna having the last action, even if he is just STARING, like I'm supposed to just pretend that secretary isn't there because HOW COULD I IGNORE THAT YUNA IS LOOKING AT MY CHARACTER ZOMG.
Yeah right, nice try. How about giving Yuna some actual personality instead of stalling and spouting off whatever you think sounds cool at the moment? Because I'm not getting any sense of a cohesive characterization here.
Izumiz Angel: Rasu sent a bit of a look to Yuna, not especially bothered by the sarcasm, just one to show acknowledgment of the statement. "Hey, just because I've never bodyguarded before doesn't mean I don't know how to fight. And if the way you're walking is any indication, that's a hell of a lot more than you can do." He smirked, perhaps a bit smugly, and turned his attention to the secretary, offering her more concern.
"Was there something you wanted to say, ma'am?"
[redacted]: For the first time since meeting Rasu, Yuna's expression changed, though it was probably not the reaction Rasu would have expected. Both Yuna and the secretary tensed, though where the woman cringed and edged as far from Yuna as possible, Yuna turned to give Rasu a venomous glare.
"Well, it should be obvious your job is to see to it that I don't get hurt again, isn't it? In the meantime, why don't you shut up about things you don't know?" Yuna hissed, his teeth bared in an expression somewhere between a grimace and a snarl.
Fortunately for the now very nervous and flustered secretary, the elevator chimed and the doors slid open. Exiting in a hurry, she turned and bowed to Rasu, not quite succeeding in hiding a flinch as Yuna stomped past her. "Please excuse Yuna, Mr. Itsuki. He's had a difficult time recently," she said, forcing a weak attempt at a smile as she wrung her hands a bit.
Perhaps Yuna should be taking his own advice? Don't make it sound like Rasu is a terrible pick for a bodyguard just because he says he's never done this specific job before if you're going to turn around and say "don't judge me for having injuries." Yuna doesn't know the context for Rasu's background any more than Rasu knows the context for Yuna's. In fact, Yuna knows LESS than Rasu does about the other's background.
My next point is, admittedly, a nitpick of phrasing, but on a grander scale I think it matters. She's written here that Yuna's change was something Rasu *probably* wasn't expecting rather than it *perhaps* wasn't. In my mind, that makes a big difference. "Perhaps" is a possibility word; it leaves it every bit as open to that suggestion being wrong as right. "Probably," on the other hand, is not at all neutral. It's more biased language-- and once again it's being used to try to decide for me what Rasu thinks and how he should react. Could we let me be the judge of what he is and isn't expecting? He is my character, after all.
And on a completely different note, the secretary response is just bugging me. I mean. She's utterly terrified of him and yet also sticking up for him? She seems more like an authorial insert to me. "Yes, he's a horrible, terrible person to be with BUT GIVE HIM A CHANCE AND LOOK PAST THAT. IT ISN'T HIS FAULT HE'S INSUFFERABLE." I could expect this kind of behavior from her if it was towards her boss, a dangerous criminal mastermind (or so we're supposed to believe), but Yuna? The bitchy kid the boss fucks who's actually BELOW you in the grand hierarchy? WHAT THE HELL.
No, the secretary is no more believable than Yuna himself. She's nothing but a tool for shilling out what's supposed to be Yuna's sympathetic side. You have the boss to demonstrate he's HAWT and also EDGY, and you have the secretary to demonstrate how he SUFFERS DAMMIT and his life is so HARD so don't judge him for being a COMPLETE ASSHOLE. HE'S ENTITLED, SEE.
I repeat: LET ME BE THE JUDGE OF WHAT I AND MY CHARACTER THINK. Trying to tell me/my character to feel sorry for him doesn't work. Rasu is going to feel bad for the one who actually seems to be a decent person-- what a concept!
At this point I would also like to address a really major flaw in this plot idea. The premise was that eventually Rasu and Yuna would get taken and her "mindfucker" villain would be responsible for trying to break Rasu. She's already made clear the intended tactic was to taunt him for not being able to protect Yuna. The problem? Something like that only really works if you LIKE the person you failed to protect. Yuna's treating Rasu like garbage. I guess because she was counting on Rasu to be the seme, she figured he'd naturally come to love Yuna despite that, and from there he would take on the role of trying to win him over. This would of course mean Rasu becomes upset when something bad happens to Yuna that he wasn't able to stop. All without Yuna having to do a damn thing to be pleasant because when it's TRU WUB you are loved for exactly who you are and it's fine to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And if the partner fails to accept and love you for who you are, it's because they're a terrible, judgmental and narrow-minded person who can't see that you're just misunderstood, not because there's anything wrong with you.
Izumiz Angel: Rasu lifted an eyebrow but didn't seem particularly bothered by the explosion. He felt pretty comfortable about being right, and it seemed to have at least established the facts-- he'd been hired because he could do a better job of protecting Yuna than Yuna himself could... which meant Yuna was not really in much of a place to be registering complaints.
He flashed a reassuring smile to the secretary, clearly not offset by the fierce reaction. "Don't worry yourself so much. I can handle a little spitfire. You seem like you've probably got enough on your platter as it is. If there's ever anything I can do to help you, let me know." He looked briefly at Yuna, and then giggled sheepishly, turning back to the secretary. "I don't think I'll be getting any help from him in the near future. You'll still show me where my room is, won't you?"
[redacted]: "Yes, of course, Mr. Itsuki," the secretary said, glancing apprehensively down the hall to Yuna as she forced another slightly frazzled smile. "This way please." Walking down the hall, she fumbled in a pocket for a key card and winced visibly as Yuna slammed the door at the end of the hall loudly.
Stopping at the next door over to the one Yuna had disappeared into, she inserted her key card and opened it. Stepping into the room and holding the door, she presented the keycard to Rasu.
"This key will open your door and Yuna's. The door connecting your rooms is without a lock, and can slide open if needed. There is also surveillance cameras installed in Yuna's room if you need to use them, and security can be summoned by the red button on the phone, or this button here," she said, pointing to a panel on the opposite wall.
Here's another doozy of a post. Breaking this down into points.
1) That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Rasu's job is no longer "play bodyguard in the club" but "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU." Since she couldn't get me to agree to have Rasu do anything oppressive and abusive OOCly, she'll just auto it in herself!
(As if the premise wasn't stupid enough when it was "Yuna is so hot and amazing that all the patrons are overridden with lust AND MUST HAVE HIM SPECIFICALLY. NONE OF THE OTHER WORKERS WILL SUFFICE." Never mind that rape is almost NEVER about lust.)
2) RASU IS SECURITY, YOU DIMBULB. Seriously, you're telling me Yuna is SO SPESHUL AND VALUED that he needs 24-7 surveillance and not one but TWO call buttons for back-up? This is ridiculous on two levels. First is the one that Yuna's boss treasures this vile thing so much he's willing to pony up that kind of cash. DOUBLY SO WHEN THE REASON YUNA'S THERE IS BECAUSE. OF. A. DEBT!!!
Second is the one where this level of security is even deemed necessary. The implication is that not only does Hitachi LUV LUV LUV his snotty little slave-- one of MANY workers in that club, don't forget-- but THERE ARE TONS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE EVIL AND POWERFUL AND THEY THINK HE'S WORTH TRYING TO KIDNAP FOR RAPETIMES TOO. Just... WHAT.
3) I have a question: where are they? We started out with a bayfront office, went out to a lobby with a secretary, there's no sign or indication of that club Yuna has to work... and now we've taken an elevator to a series of high-tech luxury apartments? Make up your mind. This isn't the least bit coherent or appropriate.
4) Yuna's character is faring no better. Just as randomly and frequently as the setting, his portrayal has changed in the following ways:
Post 1 - absent-minded and flippant
Post 2 - tightly controlled and stiffly polite
Post 3 - guarded and cold
Post 4 - neutral and glaring-- which isn't even consistent with itself.
Post 5 - venomous and full of RAGE...because someone called his BS out through a statement of the obvious.
Post 6 - MOAR RAEG... still over effectively nothing.
So in short, Yuna has gone from fanon Aya to fanon Ken in .5 seconds. That cool, aloof and regal thing? JUST KIDDING LOLZ. Look, if you want to play a tightly controlled and icy guy, that's cool. It's also cool if you want to play a hair-trigger hothead. BUT YOU CAN'T BE BOTH, YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE. THEY ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE TYPES.
5) These are painfully over-the-top demonstrations of each type, too. It's all just DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, with no stopping to consider how much is believable, let alone age-appropriate. That kind of temper tantrum is more typical of a 3-year-old than a grown man.
6) Also notice that in that tantrum, he has gone from limping and stiffly moving and OMG I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO HURT FROM MY ABUSE to storming out the elevator, stomping down the hall, and loudly slamming the door. I guess this must be one of those convenient it-only-hurts-when-the-author-wants-it-to injuries.
I think I'll stop there. Head needs cold water.
Part XVI
Day 2: XI, XII XIII, XIV
Woops, fell off the planet again. Let's give this another try.
We left off with Rasu and Yuna finally making it away from Don Magoo. Let this be a lesson to all that you really cannot just wing in a character like this. Good antagonists are hard. They take real effort and real thought. Of course, given how little of either has gone into the Speshul Stu himself, I suppose nothing more could be expected for such a minor character by comparison.
It still would have been nice for her to at least have thought up a NAME for her Stu's primary torturer though. I just can't get over "Bob."
Izumiz Angel: Rasu really couldn't say he liked the superficiality of his boss's smiles. He didn't trust the guy, and realized it was going to be difficult to work under him so long as he didn't trust him. There was nothing to be done about it now, though. Maybe in time he'd feel more comfortable around him, but Rasu somehow doubted it.
"Thank you." He bowed again to Mr. Hitachi and escorted Yuna out, taking up a walk beside him once they were out the door.
The secretary was a welcome sight since she seemed more friendly and Rasu's eyes lit up, instantly taken to the most friendly person he'd found in the building thus far, even if it was only on a professional level. He took the packet gratefully with a genuine smile.
"Ah, thank you!" He answered enthusiastically, before it hit him a moment later that this meant he potentially had a lot of reading ahead of him, which he detested. He prayed there wouldn't be any fine print or legalese... or anything terribly confusing for that matter.
"So, am I supposed to go into your room or mine?" He asked, more to the air than to Yuna himself. "I've never been a bodyguard before; I'm not quite sure how it works. I guess that's why I have this packet." He laughed, a bit nervously.
[redacted]: ( *smacks Yuna for being rude* :-[ )
I've already gone into how stupid it is for him to be rude when he's got a job as a host, so let's just instead say how interesting it is for the player to recognize this is actually offputting. And still feel no need to give him redeeming features to compensate.
I had to bend Rasu's character here in an attempt to be consistent with the premise. There was nothing threatening or commanding of respect or wariness from the guy, but supposedly he's the leader of a gang, so in theory he should be treated as such. Whatever. And I already went into the problems with the packet.
[redacted]: Yuna hadn't been walking fast, though he hadn't paused to wait for Rasu or the secretary to catch up to him. Fortunately, the building had elevators, and he pressed the button to summon one when he reached the lobby area. Standing between the two elevator doors, he folded his hands in front of him, his back and shoulders rigidly straight.
At Rasu's question, Yuna blinked and slowly turned his head to look at the other man. "How comforting," he said, his tone blandly neutral and his expression still unchanged from its blank mask.
The secretary cleared her throat quietly and smiled hesitantly, somewhat nervously polite as she opened her mouth to speak. The dinging of the elevator interrupted her though, and a brief glare from Yuna made her shut her mouth. Shuffling into the elevator when the doors slid open, she held down the button to hold them after pressing the one for Yuna's floor.
Yuna walked carefully into the elevator and turned around, ignoring the secretary as he stared at Rasu.
Logistics here not adding up. Yuna isn't walking fast because he's so badly hurt he has to limp, and yet in spite of Rasu being right beside him just a few seconds ago, that super brief pause to greet the secretary gave Yuna such a lead he beats two healthy and able walkers to the elevators.
Also, why is the secretary afraid of Yuna? This is yet more "I am an angsty powerless victim but also totally running shit here." There's no reason for her to be so easily cowed like Yuna is this fearsome and superior being, or for Yuna to ACT like he's a fearsome and superior being. It's just more "look at Yuna's awesome."
And conveniently shifting the focus away from a character that isn't Yuna. The post gets written ahead to Yuna having the last action, even if he is just STARING, like I'm supposed to just pretend that secretary isn't there because HOW COULD I IGNORE THAT YUNA IS LOOKING AT MY CHARACTER ZOMG.
Yeah right, nice try. How about giving Yuna some actual personality instead of stalling and spouting off whatever you think sounds cool at the moment? Because I'm not getting any sense of a cohesive characterization here.
Izumiz Angel: Rasu sent a bit of a look to Yuna, not especially bothered by the sarcasm, just one to show acknowledgment of the statement. "Hey, just because I've never bodyguarded before doesn't mean I don't know how to fight. And if the way you're walking is any indication, that's a hell of a lot more than you can do." He smirked, perhaps a bit smugly, and turned his attention to the secretary, offering her more concern.
"Was there something you wanted to say, ma'am?"
[redacted]: For the first time since meeting Rasu, Yuna's expression changed, though it was probably not the reaction Rasu would have expected. Both Yuna and the secretary tensed, though where the woman cringed and edged as far from Yuna as possible, Yuna turned to give Rasu a venomous glare.
"Well, it should be obvious your job is to see to it that I don't get hurt again, isn't it? In the meantime, why don't you shut up about things you don't know?" Yuna hissed, his teeth bared in an expression somewhere between a grimace and a snarl.
Fortunately for the now very nervous and flustered secretary, the elevator chimed and the doors slid open. Exiting in a hurry, she turned and bowed to Rasu, not quite succeeding in hiding a flinch as Yuna stomped past her. "Please excuse Yuna, Mr. Itsuki. He's had a difficult time recently," she said, forcing a weak attempt at a smile as she wrung her hands a bit.
Perhaps Yuna should be taking his own advice? Don't make it sound like Rasu is a terrible pick for a bodyguard just because he says he's never done this specific job before if you're going to turn around and say "don't judge me for having injuries." Yuna doesn't know the context for Rasu's background any more than Rasu knows the context for Yuna's. In fact, Yuna knows LESS than Rasu does about the other's background.
My next point is, admittedly, a nitpick of phrasing, but on a grander scale I think it matters. She's written here that Yuna's change was something Rasu *probably* wasn't expecting rather than it *perhaps* wasn't. In my mind, that makes a big difference. "Perhaps" is a possibility word; it leaves it every bit as open to that suggestion being wrong as right. "Probably," on the other hand, is not at all neutral. It's more biased language-- and once again it's being used to try to decide for me what Rasu thinks and how he should react. Could we let me be the judge of what he is and isn't expecting? He is my character, after all.
And on a completely different note, the secretary response is just bugging me. I mean. She's utterly terrified of him and yet also sticking up for him? She seems more like an authorial insert to me. "Yes, he's a horrible, terrible person to be with BUT GIVE HIM A CHANCE AND LOOK PAST THAT. IT ISN'T HIS FAULT HE'S INSUFFERABLE." I could expect this kind of behavior from her if it was towards her boss, a dangerous criminal mastermind (or so we're supposed to believe), but Yuna? The bitchy kid the boss fucks who's actually BELOW you in the grand hierarchy? WHAT THE HELL.
No, the secretary is no more believable than Yuna himself. She's nothing but a tool for shilling out what's supposed to be Yuna's sympathetic side. You have the boss to demonstrate he's HAWT and also EDGY, and you have the secretary to demonstrate how he SUFFERS DAMMIT and his life is so HARD so don't judge him for being a COMPLETE ASSHOLE. HE'S ENTITLED, SEE.
I repeat: LET ME BE THE JUDGE OF WHAT I AND MY CHARACTER THINK. Trying to tell me/my character to feel sorry for him doesn't work. Rasu is going to feel bad for the one who actually seems to be a decent person-- what a concept!
At this point I would also like to address a really major flaw in this plot idea. The premise was that eventually Rasu and Yuna would get taken and her "mindfucker" villain would be responsible for trying to break Rasu. She's already made clear the intended tactic was to taunt him for not being able to protect Yuna. The problem? Something like that only really works if you LIKE the person you failed to protect. Yuna's treating Rasu like garbage. I guess because she was counting on Rasu to be the seme, she figured he'd naturally come to love Yuna despite that, and from there he would take on the role of trying to win him over. This would of course mean Rasu becomes upset when something bad happens to Yuna that he wasn't able to stop. All without Yuna having to do a damn thing to be pleasant because when it's TRU WUB you are loved for exactly who you are and it's fine to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. And if the partner fails to accept and love you for who you are, it's because they're a terrible, judgmental and narrow-minded person who can't see that you're just misunderstood, not because there's anything wrong with you.
Izumiz Angel: Rasu lifted an eyebrow but didn't seem particularly bothered by the explosion. He felt pretty comfortable about being right, and it seemed to have at least established the facts-- he'd been hired because he could do a better job of protecting Yuna than Yuna himself could... which meant Yuna was not really in much of a place to be registering complaints.
He flashed a reassuring smile to the secretary, clearly not offset by the fierce reaction. "Don't worry yourself so much. I can handle a little spitfire. You seem like you've probably got enough on your platter as it is. If there's ever anything I can do to help you, let me know." He looked briefly at Yuna, and then giggled sheepishly, turning back to the secretary. "I don't think I'll be getting any help from him in the near future. You'll still show me where my room is, won't you?"
[redacted]: "Yes, of course, Mr. Itsuki," the secretary said, glancing apprehensively down the hall to Yuna as she forced another slightly frazzled smile. "This way please." Walking down the hall, she fumbled in a pocket for a key card and winced visibly as Yuna slammed the door at the end of the hall loudly.
Stopping at the next door over to the one Yuna had disappeared into, she inserted her key card and opened it. Stepping into the room and holding the door, she presented the keycard to Rasu.
"This key will open your door and Yuna's. The door connecting your rooms is without a lock, and can slide open if needed. There is also surveillance cameras installed in Yuna's room if you need to use them, and security can be summoned by the red button on the phone, or this button here," she said, pointing to a panel on the opposite wall.
Here's another doozy of a post. Breaking this down into points.
1) That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Rasu's job is no longer "play bodyguard in the club" but "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU." Since she couldn't get me to agree to have Rasu do anything oppressive and abusive OOCly, she'll just auto it in herself!
(As if the premise wasn't stupid enough when it was "Yuna is so hot and amazing that all the patrons are overridden with lust AND MUST HAVE HIM SPECIFICALLY. NONE OF THE OTHER WORKERS WILL SUFFICE." Never mind that rape is almost NEVER about lust.)
2) RASU IS SECURITY, YOU DIMBULB. Seriously, you're telling me Yuna is SO SPESHUL AND VALUED that he needs 24-7 surveillance and not one but TWO call buttons for back-up? This is ridiculous on two levels. First is the one that Yuna's boss treasures this vile thing so much he's willing to pony up that kind of cash. DOUBLY SO WHEN THE REASON YUNA'S THERE IS BECAUSE. OF. A. DEBT!!!
Second is the one where this level of security is even deemed necessary. The implication is that not only does Hitachi LUV LUV LUV his snotty little slave-- one of MANY workers in that club, don't forget-- but THERE ARE TONS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE EVIL AND POWERFUL AND THEY THINK HE'S WORTH TRYING TO KIDNAP FOR RAPETIMES TOO. Just... WHAT.
3) I have a question: where are they? We started out with a bayfront office, went out to a lobby with a secretary, there's no sign or indication of that club Yuna has to work... and now we've taken an elevator to a series of high-tech luxury apartments? Make up your mind. This isn't the least bit coherent or appropriate.
4) Yuna's character is faring no better. Just as randomly and frequently as the setting, his portrayal has changed in the following ways:
Post 1 - absent-minded and flippant
Post 2 - tightly controlled and stiffly polite
Post 3 - guarded and cold
Post 4 - neutral and glaring-- which isn't even consistent with itself.
Post 5 - venomous and full of RAGE...because someone called his BS out through a statement of the obvious.
Post 6 - MOAR RAEG... still over effectively nothing.
So in short, Yuna has gone from fanon Aya to fanon Ken in .5 seconds. That cool, aloof and regal thing? JUST KIDDING LOLZ. Look, if you want to play a tightly controlled and icy guy, that's cool. It's also cool if you want to play a hair-trigger hothead. BUT YOU CAN'T BE BOTH, YOU HAVE TO PICK ONE. THEY ARE MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE TYPES.
5) These are painfully over-the-top demonstrations of each type, too. It's all just DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA, with no stopping to consider how much is believable, let alone age-appropriate. That kind of temper tantrum is more typical of a 3-year-old than a grown man.
6) Also notice that in that tantrum, he has gone from limping and stiffly moving and OMG I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOO HURT FROM MY ABUSE to storming out the elevator, stomping down the hall, and loudly slamming the door. I guess this must be one of those convenient it-only-hurts-when-the-author-wants-it-to injuries.
I think I'll stop there. Head needs cold water.
Part XVI