On the subject of friends...

[phxjohn]

With the wedding coming up, and lists being made, and an intervention with a friend who is struggling with friendship like I did when I was his age, the subject of friendship has been fresh on my mind

Comments

[daniyella]

It's interesting because this summer my family and I went on a trip back home to the East Coast. We ended up visiting two families who were our very best "family friends" growing up. We did everything from basically birth until we moved when I was 13. I kept in touch with both girls in each family who were my age for awhile, and then sporadically as we all got older, either via Friendster or Myspace or the like. So anyway, we visited each family. And I have a rich, rich history with each girl. Some of the best times growing up has been spend with either one. I went into the re-meeting with an open mind, and thought that perhaps there would be something new to talk about or do. But unfortunately we spent all evening reminiscing and looking back, with little talk about the here and now, other than small talk. it was extremely disappointing to me, even though I tried to set myself up to be open to it all. Although these girls and their families will be at my wedding, that is only for the sake of history and it is too weird to continue our friendship. There was nothing there. In another instance, I have a college friend who you know, who I was very close with in my later "growing up" years. We've lived next door to each other, went on trips together all over the place, and spent hours and hours laughing. But now, our ideas about life are so different that all we have is the past. I don't want to stay friends simply for the past. Because of this past I will respect our friendship and what it was, but I won't try to make it work currently. Our mutual friends keep me in strained touch with her, but there is no reason to me to struggle to keep it alive when we both would be trying if it mattered. But it doesn't. History is in the past, active relationships need to be current. I consider all three of those girls inactive relationships. I guess they are over, but all the good memories kind of keep them going in my memory. This is a bunch of rambling but hopefully you got my point. it's 6:30am and I am a little hazy.
xo