(no subject)
God I want him back.
How the heck was I so calm and collected about this whole thing last week? I was freakishly calmer.
So he says maybe we'll get back together...in a few years. Well then fuck, fast forward, skip this in between shit and let me be back with him. I don't want to date anyone. I don't want HIM to date anyone. I want to be part of this transition stage he's going through. I want to be friends with his band, and be there supporting him.
I don't want to distance myself so much that I lose track of him, like some of my other friends/exs. I just want to be back with him so so bad.
It could take me years to figure out my life.
All I want, besides him, in the absence of him, is to just, disappear until those years pass. I don't want to go through more time, I don't want to go through more school, I don't want to worry about housing, I don't want to THINK. Time machine anyone? I just want it to be that time where we're more settled? I guess. If Dan's band did get bigger, and they toured, he'd definitely not have time for me. He wouldn't even want to re-tract to dating me, it'd be retracting and retrograde.
How was I so calm about all this last week?
SO I guess my "escape" is going to 'Springs for Break.
Anyone wanna help distract me Monday night when I wallow in misery and jealousy?
How the heck was I so calm and collected about this whole thing last week? I was freakishly calmer.
So he says maybe we'll get back together...in a few years. Well then fuck, fast forward, skip this in between shit and let me be back with him. I don't want to date anyone. I don't want HIM to date anyone. I want to be part of this transition stage he's going through. I want to be friends with his band, and be there supporting him.
I don't want to distance myself so much that I lose track of him, like some of my other friends/exs. I just want to be back with him so so bad.
It could take me years to figure out my life.
All I want, besides him, in the absence of him, is to just, disappear until those years pass. I don't want to go through more time, I don't want to go through more school, I don't want to worry about housing, I don't want to THINK. Time machine anyone? I just want it to be that time where we're more settled? I guess. If Dan's band did get bigger, and they toured, he'd definitely not have time for me. He wouldn't even want to re-tract to dating me, it'd be retracting and retrograde.
How was I so calm about all this last week?
SO I guess my "escape" is going to 'Springs for Break.
Anyone wanna help distract me Monday night when I wallow in misery and jealousy?