i give up
Ok.. when I finally let something out.... when i finally say something ... when I fuckin try and let people know how i am feeling.. it never turns out right.. no one ever understands where I am coming from.. man.. fuck, I mean yeah I have shit wrong with me and so does every other fuckin person I am not saying that I have the worst fuckin problems in the world or that I need all the attention or what the fuck ever.. I am just tired of trying to let things out and them blowing up in my face.. what the fuck is wrong with this picture here.. Its not just with one or two people.. its with everyone.. I am tired of always being the bad guy and by saying that I feel like my mother.. cuz she always said that to me.. and I guess I am just as much a piece of shit as her, I guess I am going to be like her, I am going to be a loser all my life, i am gunna always be fat and stupid, I guess that is what I am just destined to do. well Since i have finally come to terms with becoming my fucking mother i have a few things to say.. Jamie, I love you to death, and I don't want you to think that i am attacking you or using anything against you.. cuz I'm not, I can't believe in my whole heart that you would think that I hate Ben, not ONCE did I say that I didn't like him,, as a matter of fact i said that I did like him and that he was a great guy, i also said that I was sick of him, but see that isn't my fault either, After spending practically 2 weeks straight with someone that you don't really know... it gets tireing, not becuse he is an asshole, not because he is worthless or any other bullshit like that, i never EVER said those things, its because, i didn't have ME TIME, its because I wasn't prepared for having someone that I didn't know hardly at all be around ALL THE TIME, and if thats not understandable I am sorry, I guess I am just a spiteful bitch, I was also telling you WHAT I observed while he stayed with me, I was just telling you my feelings.. and I am sorry that You took them to heart and I am also sorry that you can't understand where I was coming from, I am sorry that you think that i hate him and I am sorry that he thinks that i hate him, I never said that, as a matter of fact I think that he is a good guy, and i have said that before too, but i guess the good things that i say don't outweigh the vents that I have to do sometimes, The stuff i said wasn't said out of hate or discust or anything like that, and you weren't supposed to take it that way, and i mean i know that you have tons on your plate and i am not at all trying to add more to it, or put more fucking shit on your mind than you already have. I am sorry that you took things that i said in a venting session the way that you did, and I am really sorry that Ben thinks that I hate him and that i think hes a piece of shitt... but thats not it at all. I will just fuckin vegg and become my fuckin bitch as mother like i guess that i am already there... Sorry Keith.. I guess that I'm not good for you after all, I guess that You deserve better than me, and I guess that I am just a stupid bitch that should keep her mouth shut.. so I will............................