For muse_shuffle - July Disc One #2
07. So you thought you might like to
(Pink Floyd - 'In The Flesh?')
[Follows THIS. Co-written with pullmysteth]
Riley's conscience seemed to have evaporated somewhere between Lachlan's phone call and snogging Beth in the kitchen. And boy had they snogged. Once he started, it was like he couldn't stop. They somehow managed to stumble back into the living room and went tumbling on to the sofa together. His tongue was desperately trying to urge hers deeper into his mouth and he was rocking his hips against hers to try and afford some much needed friction while his hand was busy re-familiarising himself with her breasts through that agonizing t-shirt.
He was hungry for her. He didn't just want it, he needed it. Something was fuelling him on inside and he seemed to not be able to stop. They were like randy teenagers, unable to keep their hands off each other and Riley only growled when Beth reefed his t-shirt up over his head and flung it off in some random direction behind her head.
Beth wasn't even going to question his change of mood. If she did, she just knew she'd end up putting a stop to all this because she'd convince herself that this really wasn't what he wanted, and she would be once again rushing to punish herself for breaking his heart.
But God did she want this. She had missed him so much over the past few months that it had physically hurt. Being near him again had helped ease that pain just a little, but this?
This was like dosing her up on morphine. Nothing hurt; there was just her and him, and now his gloriously shirtless torso. "Fuck, Riley," she mumbled against his mouth, fingers digging into his chest as she writhed on top of him, only too willing to help him get some more friction. She straddled him, knees pinning his hips as she leaned back just long enough to get her t-shirt off and throw that somewhere behind her head, too. Her mouth crashed against his again and she plunged her tongue into his mouth as gripped his hair.
Riley made a soft pleasured noise against her lips. His fingers dipped from her breast lower to hook in the waistband of her pants. He tugged on it impatiently, raking his foot up the back of her leg to try and pull her closer to him. He was breathless and so achingly hard, he wondered if his dick was going to drop off. He hadn't had sex since just before they broke up and he was desperate for it.
Her drought was just as long as his. She hadn't been with any other men since Riley, and she hadn't wanted to. She hadn't even tried, choosing to live the life of a rather sexually frustrated nun. She tried to half lift herself off the couch and him, working on getting the stupid denim shorts off. Why she had ever thought they'd be a good idea she didn't know, just that here was warmer than Scotland, and summer clothes had never been her forte.
She got them half way down before she nearly lost her balance and fell on Riley. She caught herself, one hand braced on the back of the sofa as she kicked off the stupid shorts. She was settled back against him in a flash, rubbing her body up against his. She was wet, and pulsing, and just needed him inside her so very badly. She slid a hand between them and snapped her way into his pants to massage her hand against his hard cock.
When a train crash occurs, evidently the train is going too fast for the driver to have a hope in hell of stopping it with the breaks. Metal on metal screeches and it all comes to crashing, horrific stop with smoking debris and steam coming from everywhere.
This is exactly how Riley's next actions could be described.
The minute her hand wrapped around his cock, he froze so abruptly, he nearly bit her lip off. He scrambled back, trying to extricate himself from her arms so rapidly, his elbow cracked and he became stock still as he stared down at her, sweaty, panting, and feeling like his world had just tipped over.
Beth watched him, just as sweaty and panting, but not feeling like her world had tipped over. Not until she saw the look on his face.
"Oh God," she gasped. "Oh God, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh God..." She retreated to the opposite end of the sofa and held her hands over her mouth. She wasn't freaking out because she regretted it. She didn't, not one bit. She was more than happily speeding along on that train, only now the driver seemed to be looking at her like he'd just picked up a serial killer.
"I--" really want to fuck you so bad your brains melt out your ears, her mind finished for her. "I'm sorry," she said instead.
Riley shook his head and then closed his eyes for a moment while he tried to scramble around for a clear thought. "No, I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I don't know what..." He put his head over his mouth for a moment. What the hell had gotten in to him? This wasn't right! A fuck wasn't going to solve everything! It wasn't going to erase their past! "I'm sorry," he repeated again, though this time it was barely audible.
Beth looked at him and sighed. "You don't have to be sorry, Riley." She unfolded her pale limbs and got off the sofa on shaky legs. She picked up her shorts and pulled them back on, then set about trying to find her t-shirt. "You're nay the one that fucked up, love. I am. I should be sorry. I shouldnae even be here."
Riley stood up far too fast and was hit with a dizzy spell that nearly sent him crashing into the coffee table. He righted himself quickly and scrambled around for his shirt and tugged it on back-to-front, sending his curly hair in a disarray which he hurriedly tried to smooth back down.
"No, that's not what I mean," he said distractedly. He crossed his arms and then uncrossed them to hang them at his sides. He shifted his weight from one foot then the other. His skin still had that crawling feeling all over it that he couldn't shake. His arms got folded again and then he unfolded one to hold his hand up. "I shouldn't... we shouldn't... not when I'm..." Okay, he seemed to have lost the ability to finish sentences, too.
Beth gave up trying to find her t-shirt and just folded her arms under her chest as she faced him. Her expression sobered and she gazed steadily at him. "You know there's these things called 'condoms', right? I get that you're scared, but you're also allowed to live a normal life... even if... even if you do turn out to be positive."
She rubbed her chin on her shoulder and shrugged. "I dinnae want to hurt you, but I guess I will no matter what. I shouldnae have kissed back. I'm sorry."
Riley pressed his hand over his mouth and averted his eyes. The whole morning he'd been contemplating fucking her and he hadn't once thought about a condom or the HIV. Guilt roared through him like another speeding train and he had to fight not to bolt from the room. What if it had gone too far and he still hadn't thought about it? "Oh my god," he whimpered from behind his hand.
"I-I-," he stammered and hugged himself. "You didn't hurt me... you aren't hurting me. I wanted it. I'm just not..." He had no answers. He could stand there all afternoon trying to explain, but he had no idea where to even begin. "I can't."
Beth tucked her hands in the back pockets of her shorts and tried to follow his explanations, however vague. She felt awful for having mentioned the HIV now that she'd seen the guilt start to eat him.
She also still felt more than a little aroused, and was now finding it hard to look at him since she still wanted to jump his bones. She dropped her gaze to the floor and shifted her weight. "I willnae go anywhere if you can still stand to have me around. I'll also... I'll always be here for you, love. However long it takes."
Riley started to pace. It was like he couldn't sit still. He was still horny and he was still restless. If he didn't do something to try and get rid of this adrenaline thumping through him, he was sure he'd explode. A little voice in his ear that suspiciously had a male Scottish accent was telling him to go and have a furious wank, but then he felt guilty for even wanting to do that.
He paced back and forth, then back and forth again, chewing off three nails in the process. "I need to take a walk!" he suddenly cried and was out the door, it slamming behind him, before she even had a chance to answer.
Beth Anderson
Original Character
Words: 1521
drcampbell referred to with permission.
(Pink Floyd - 'In The Flesh?')
[Follows THIS. Co-written with pullmysteth]
Riley's conscience seemed to have evaporated somewhere between Lachlan's phone call and snogging Beth in the kitchen. And boy had they snogged. Once he started, it was like he couldn't stop. They somehow managed to stumble back into the living room and went tumbling on to the sofa together. His tongue was desperately trying to urge hers deeper into his mouth and he was rocking his hips against hers to try and afford some much needed friction while his hand was busy re-familiarising himself with her breasts through that agonizing t-shirt.
He was hungry for her. He didn't just want it, he needed it. Something was fuelling him on inside and he seemed to not be able to stop. They were like randy teenagers, unable to keep their hands off each other and Riley only growled when Beth reefed his t-shirt up over his head and flung it off in some random direction behind her head.
Beth wasn't even going to question his change of mood. If she did, she just knew she'd end up putting a stop to all this because she'd convince herself that this really wasn't what he wanted, and she would be once again rushing to punish herself for breaking his heart.
But God did she want this. She had missed him so much over the past few months that it had physically hurt. Being near him again had helped ease that pain just a little, but this?
This was like dosing her up on morphine. Nothing hurt; there was just her and him, and now his gloriously shirtless torso. "Fuck, Riley," she mumbled against his mouth, fingers digging into his chest as she writhed on top of him, only too willing to help him get some more friction. She straddled him, knees pinning his hips as she leaned back just long enough to get her t-shirt off and throw that somewhere behind her head, too. Her mouth crashed against his again and she plunged her tongue into his mouth as gripped his hair.
Riley made a soft pleasured noise against her lips. His fingers dipped from her breast lower to hook in the waistband of her pants. He tugged on it impatiently, raking his foot up the back of her leg to try and pull her closer to him. He was breathless and so achingly hard, he wondered if his dick was going to drop off. He hadn't had sex since just before they broke up and he was desperate for it.
Her drought was just as long as his. She hadn't been with any other men since Riley, and she hadn't wanted to. She hadn't even tried, choosing to live the life of a rather sexually frustrated nun. She tried to half lift herself off the couch and him, working on getting the stupid denim shorts off. Why she had ever thought they'd be a good idea she didn't know, just that here was warmer than Scotland, and summer clothes had never been her forte.
She got them half way down before she nearly lost her balance and fell on Riley. She caught herself, one hand braced on the back of the sofa as she kicked off the stupid shorts. She was settled back against him in a flash, rubbing her body up against his. She was wet, and pulsing, and just needed him inside her so very badly. She slid a hand between them and snapped her way into his pants to massage her hand against his hard cock.
When a train crash occurs, evidently the train is going too fast for the driver to have a hope in hell of stopping it with the breaks. Metal on metal screeches and it all comes to crashing, horrific stop with smoking debris and steam coming from everywhere.
This is exactly how Riley's next actions could be described.
The minute her hand wrapped around his cock, he froze so abruptly, he nearly bit her lip off. He scrambled back, trying to extricate himself from her arms so rapidly, his elbow cracked and he became stock still as he stared down at her, sweaty, panting, and feeling like his world had just tipped over.
Beth watched him, just as sweaty and panting, but not feeling like her world had tipped over. Not until she saw the look on his face.
"Oh God," she gasped. "Oh God, oh fuck, oh fuck, oh God..." She retreated to the opposite end of the sofa and held her hands over her mouth. She wasn't freaking out because she regretted it. She didn't, not one bit. She was more than happily speeding along on that train, only now the driver seemed to be looking at her like he'd just picked up a serial killer.
"I--" really want to fuck you so bad your brains melt out your ears, her mind finished for her. "I'm sorry," she said instead.
Riley shook his head and then closed his eyes for a moment while he tried to scramble around for a clear thought. "No, I... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I don't know what..." He put his head over his mouth for a moment. What the hell had gotten in to him? This wasn't right! A fuck wasn't going to solve everything! It wasn't going to erase their past! "I'm sorry," he repeated again, though this time it was barely audible.
Beth looked at him and sighed. "You don't have to be sorry, Riley." She unfolded her pale limbs and got off the sofa on shaky legs. She picked up her shorts and pulled them back on, then set about trying to find her t-shirt. "You're nay the one that fucked up, love. I am. I should be sorry. I shouldnae even be here."
Riley stood up far too fast and was hit with a dizzy spell that nearly sent him crashing into the coffee table. He righted himself quickly and scrambled around for his shirt and tugged it on back-to-front, sending his curly hair in a disarray which he hurriedly tried to smooth back down.
"No, that's not what I mean," he said distractedly. He crossed his arms and then uncrossed them to hang them at his sides. He shifted his weight from one foot then the other. His skin still had that crawling feeling all over it that he couldn't shake. His arms got folded again and then he unfolded one to hold his hand up. "I shouldn't... we shouldn't... not when I'm..." Okay, he seemed to have lost the ability to finish sentences, too.
Beth gave up trying to find her t-shirt and just folded her arms under her chest as she faced him. Her expression sobered and she gazed steadily at him. "You know there's these things called 'condoms', right? I get that you're scared, but you're also allowed to live a normal life... even if... even if you do turn out to be positive."
She rubbed her chin on her shoulder and shrugged. "I dinnae want to hurt you, but I guess I will no matter what. I shouldnae have kissed back. I'm sorry."
Riley pressed his hand over his mouth and averted his eyes. The whole morning he'd been contemplating fucking her and he hadn't once thought about a condom or the HIV. Guilt roared through him like another speeding train and he had to fight not to bolt from the room. What if it had gone too far and he still hadn't thought about it? "Oh my god," he whimpered from behind his hand.
"I-I-," he stammered and hugged himself. "You didn't hurt me... you aren't hurting me. I wanted it. I'm just not..." He had no answers. He could stand there all afternoon trying to explain, but he had no idea where to even begin. "I can't."
Beth tucked her hands in the back pockets of her shorts and tried to follow his explanations, however vague. She felt awful for having mentioned the HIV now that she'd seen the guilt start to eat him.
She also still felt more than a little aroused, and was now finding it hard to look at him since she still wanted to jump his bones. She dropped her gaze to the floor and shifted her weight. "I willnae go anywhere if you can still stand to have me around. I'll also... I'll always be here for you, love. However long it takes."
Riley started to pace. It was like he couldn't sit still. He was still horny and he was still restless. If he didn't do something to try and get rid of this adrenaline thumping through him, he was sure he'd explode. A little voice in his ear that suspiciously had a male Scottish accent was telling him to go and have a furious wank, but then he felt guilty for even wanting to do that.
He paced back and forth, then back and forth again, chewing off three nails in the process. "I need to take a walk!" he suddenly cried and was out the door, it slamming behind him, before she even had a chance to answer.
Beth Anderson
Original Character
Words: 1521
drcampbell referred to with permission.