No news is good news
Yesterday was my 26th Birthday. It's been a while since I've posted, mainly because I tend to hang out more in Facebook these days, but I find it's better to blog here on LJ than elsewhere.
Things are going well, work is steady and surprisingly rewarding and I am happy at home and with my friends.
It's good to see people regularly that I thought a year or two ago might be drifting away. It's inevitable that some people will come and go from your life, but honestly it can hurt to realize you aren't as close as you once were. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular when I say that, just the feeling I had a while ago that I was losing out on some valuable friendships. I try to make a conscious effort to see everyone more frequently, but my tendency towards solitude and moodiness each winter makes it hard to do. I would say that this winter was better than last year. I may have lost the momentum to lose the weight I had lost last year, but I decided my mental health was going to be a priority this year and I think I succeeded on that front.
It's difficult to say; deciding to go on certain medications regardless of how they might affect my weight was a tough decision. In the end I'd rather carry a few extra pounds than be thinner but still struggling with anxiety or depression. But I am in a great place now and able to focus on eating in a way that makes me feel healthy and not guilty. I am not dieting per se, my goal is to feel healthier all around. I am not tracking my health via a scale this time, but rather how my circulatory system feels and how comfortable I feel in my own shape. I think overall that is the only way I'm going to find contentment with myself. I need to feel happy, not depend on outside devices to tell me when I should feel happy. I like this better and even after a few days of tracking my calories (a helpful tool), I can tell my steps feel lighter. I want to avoid heart disease and high cholesterol, not fit into a particular size. If I live the rest of my life as a size 14 I will be fine with that, as long as my body tells me I am feeling healthy.
It's difficult to reach that place, and I'm still trying. Having less anxiety is definitely a plus though.
But aside from those concerns every day life is going as well as it can. My birthday was great and I have a ton of new knitting needles, a great knitting question and answer guidebook, and an air-popper for popcorn that I plan to use all the time. My MIL got me some much-needed rainboots for this spring, and I found an awesome coat for next winter on clearance.
I look forward to having Sarah and Tara and other friends over on Saturday to celebrate our March birthdays. LOST nights with Marybeth and Chris have been a great weeknight gathering as well!
So that's my life lately in a nutshell. Trying to be more conscious of my moods and how they effect my outlook, and trying to keep in touch with those friends I can't live without. I miss Jan and Nikki and Lily very much lately, and I hope we can see each other soon!
Things are going well, work is steady and surprisingly rewarding and I am happy at home and with my friends.
It's good to see people regularly that I thought a year or two ago might be drifting away. It's inevitable that some people will come and go from your life, but honestly it can hurt to realize you aren't as close as you once were. I'm not thinking of anyone in particular when I say that, just the feeling I had a while ago that I was losing out on some valuable friendships. I try to make a conscious effort to see everyone more frequently, but my tendency towards solitude and moodiness each winter makes it hard to do. I would say that this winter was better than last year. I may have lost the momentum to lose the weight I had lost last year, but I decided my mental health was going to be a priority this year and I think I succeeded on that front.
It's difficult to say; deciding to go on certain medications regardless of how they might affect my weight was a tough decision. In the end I'd rather carry a few extra pounds than be thinner but still struggling with anxiety or depression. But I am in a great place now and able to focus on eating in a way that makes me feel healthy and not guilty. I am not dieting per se, my goal is to feel healthier all around. I am not tracking my health via a scale this time, but rather how my circulatory system feels and how comfortable I feel in my own shape. I think overall that is the only way I'm going to find contentment with myself. I need to feel happy, not depend on outside devices to tell me when I should feel happy. I like this better and even after a few days of tracking my calories (a helpful tool), I can tell my steps feel lighter. I want to avoid heart disease and high cholesterol, not fit into a particular size. If I live the rest of my life as a size 14 I will be fine with that, as long as my body tells me I am feeling healthy.
It's difficult to reach that place, and I'm still trying. Having less anxiety is definitely a plus though.
But aside from those concerns every day life is going as well as it can. My birthday was great and I have a ton of new knitting needles, a great knitting question and answer guidebook, and an air-popper for popcorn that I plan to use all the time. My MIL got me some much-needed rainboots for this spring, and I found an awesome coat for next winter on clearance.
I look forward to having Sarah and Tara and other friends over on Saturday to celebrate our March birthdays. LOST nights with Marybeth and Chris have been a great weeknight gathering as well!
So that's my life lately in a nutshell. Trying to be more conscious of my moods and how they effect my outlook, and trying to keep in touch with those friends I can't live without. I miss Jan and Nikki and Lily very much lately, and I hope we can see each other soon!