(no subject)

Jul 07, 2005 23:33

It all came together, and it was all so quick to fall apart. It was like sand between my fingers, and I was powerless to stop it. Although, I have these feelings, and this confusion that keeps me up when I could be sleeping away the pain, I have these bruises, and these dirty feet that make me feel like I have a little bit of time left to enjoy myself. Which maybe isn't the best thing for me, because enjoying myself always leads to destruction and too much thinking. So, I'm always swinging myself in circles. This makes me feel a bit comfortable, and yet restless at the same time. I need a way out, someone to save me from the trouble I seem to be getting myself deeper into, but I can't stop digging myself down into that hole. In fact, I think I'm so far down I can't see the light anymore. So, if someone could throw me a ladder, I'm sure I could get myself out of this mess, because I'm strong, I just need a little help. I think it's always been me and only me to fight off the stress of life for myself. It's not a matter of caring anymore. It's a matter of fun, parties, and being under the influence. Which, is fine by me, because it saves me from nights like this, when my head is sent spinning in circles, and I don't even know the ground from the ceiling. It's okay though, because all the time I've wasted reminiscing over the past, I now spend content with myself, or with my head so far in the clouds I can't see what's right in front of me, but I can tell you one thing, I'd never be so quick to touch a rewind button if there was one put on life, because although I loved the times I've had with the people I care about most, I know more now than I've known in a long time. With all the mistakes I've made, I don't think I'd take them back, and for once in my life, I can be honest and whole-hearted when I say, 'Fuck you,' to anyone who thinks anything differently than the truth. The point to this? There is none, and there probably never will be a real point, but there is tons of important details that you should try to pay attention to if you want to understand.
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