Ponder and grow...

[photofetus]

It's late at night and I'm thinking......man, I'm bored. I think I'll go do ssome stalking via Myspace. Oh yes, I know I said I hate Myspace, and it still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, however, when used properly, it can be....myspace? I dunno. Anyway, I was trying to find an ex of mine from High School and I just couldn't find him. I was a little sad because I was interested in seeing how he was doing and such. I finally gave up and thought, "Do I dare see what Anthony is up to?". I decided to look because I wanted to see how my reaction would be. You know, see what's going on without him trying to contact me and evoking my bitter rage. So I found it and I felt not a lot. A little anxiety, but just weird. Like I've removed myself from that time and person that I was when I was with him. It felt weird but I was glad I did it. I don't want to always be angry and pissy when I think of him. Will I ever want to be friends with him? No. Do i want to talk to him? No. However, I'm slowly turning into more of feeling sorry for him and the hurt I know he felt and went through when he realzied what a dumb fuck he was for dumping me. Hell, I'm sure he's still going through it and I'm starting to not care. I make it a rule to never be friends with my ex's. I just think it's a dumb idea and you move on quicker when you don't have to see them. So, here's how it is: I like where my life is now. I like my job, I like my friends, I love my boyfriend, and I wish I had more money.
Ponder and grow a little less bitter.