Curves =/= out of shape
So, this is really bothering me. Earlier, a friend was complaining about how she was getting stretch marks above her hips (I'll admit, I'm pretty sure I have them too.) and how that was bad. She ran track in high school and thus was very skinny, and yes, she's probably put on some weight since then because she's not running anymore. She's also mentioned multiple times that she's a late bloomer - apparently she didn't get her big growth spurt until around her sophomore year of high school (about 4 years after the majority of girls have hit their growth spurts). So it kind of makes sense that she would start getting some curves now, considering she's such a late bloomer. But when another friend and I pointed out that she was just gaining some curves and that was okay, she said, essentially, "It's not okay, curves mean I'm out of shape." We both (other friend and I) responded by saying that no, curves did NOT mean out of shape, they just meant she was moving from stick-figure girl to woman, and women are supposed to have curves.
It just really bothered me. Because I'm not stick-thin, for one thing. I do have curves. I kind of like them. And, true, I'm not in the best of shape - I couldn't run a marathon or anything like that - but I'm not the most out-of-shape person either. The other girl that was there is pretty much the same, although she's probably more in shape than me (and, oddly enough, more curvy, proportionally, than I am). So neither of us said anything really confrontational to call out the complainer, but I do know it bothered her, too.
And part of the bothering is because this kid seems to say she's getting fat (& other related complaints) on a regular basis. She really seems convinced of this, which is bothersome. I mean, I honestly liked myself in high school; I thought I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, but overall I felt secure in my body. Now, even though I have lost weight, and people tell me I look great, which I'm sure they're not lying straight to my face - I just start losing the confidence I had in high school because the skinny chick is always complaining about getting too fat. I really just want to wake her up, and say, "Look, you are not fat! Constantly telling yourself that you are fat is not healthy. It leads to Bad Things (like, oh, y'know, anorexia and bulimia). Also, when you constantly complain that you're getting fat, I start to feel bad about myself. And don't try to tell me that's absurd - I already know it's a little bit irrational for me to compare myself to you because we do have different body types. But I was a lot more secure in my body image in high school, when I wasn't around people thinner than me who constantly complained that they were gaining too much weight. You have to admit that your body suffered when you kept your body fat as low as you did from running. It's just not healthy for you to constantly be criticizing your own body and aiming for an unhealthy standard. And I really wish you would stop."
Maybe part of why I felt so confident in high school was because I had friends who were the same. Many of my female friends were large, some larger than me, but they didn't constantly complain about being fat. They accepted themselves, for the most part. We weren't inactive people. Sometimes they tried to lose some pounds, but they didn't beat themselves up too much for not losing a lot of weight, and they didn't beat themselves up at all for not being stick thin. We had pretty healthy body images, overall, as far as I know. And we were pretty happy people. I don't remember how much we joked about "getting fat" from eating too much junk food or anything - it wasn't very much. We all kind of had the mindset that, hey, we feel good the way we are, why should we deny ourselves something enjoyable?
Maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow, before I leave. Hopefully with some moral support. Because I don't think I can take another year of negativity.
It just really bothered me. Because I'm not stick-thin, for one thing. I do have curves. I kind of like them. And, true, I'm not in the best of shape - I couldn't run a marathon or anything like that - but I'm not the most out-of-shape person either. The other girl that was there is pretty much the same, although she's probably more in shape than me (and, oddly enough, more curvy, proportionally, than I am). So neither of us said anything really confrontational to call out the complainer, but I do know it bothered her, too.
And part of the bothering is because this kid seems to say she's getting fat (& other related complaints) on a regular basis. She really seems convinced of this, which is bothersome. I mean, I honestly liked myself in high school; I thought I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, but overall I felt secure in my body. Now, even though I have lost weight, and people tell me I look great, which I'm sure they're not lying straight to my face - I just start losing the confidence I had in high school because the skinny chick is always complaining about getting too fat. I really just want to wake her up, and say, "Look, you are not fat! Constantly telling yourself that you are fat is not healthy. It leads to Bad Things (like, oh, y'know, anorexia and bulimia). Also, when you constantly complain that you're getting fat, I start to feel bad about myself. And don't try to tell me that's absurd - I already know it's a little bit irrational for me to compare myself to you because we do have different body types. But I was a lot more secure in my body image in high school, when I wasn't around people thinner than me who constantly complained that they were gaining too much weight. You have to admit that your body suffered when you kept your body fat as low as you did from running. It's just not healthy for you to constantly be criticizing your own body and aiming for an unhealthy standard. And I really wish you would stop."
Maybe part of why I felt so confident in high school was because I had friends who were the same. Many of my female friends were large, some larger than me, but they didn't constantly complain about being fat. They accepted themselves, for the most part. We weren't inactive people. Sometimes they tried to lose some pounds, but they didn't beat themselves up too much for not losing a lot of weight, and they didn't beat themselves up at all for not being stick thin. We had pretty healthy body images, overall, as far as I know. And we were pretty happy people. I don't remember how much we joked about "getting fat" from eating too much junk food or anything - it wasn't very much. We all kind of had the mindset that, hey, we feel good the way we are, why should we deny ourselves something enjoyable?
Maybe I'll talk to her tomorrow, before I leave. Hopefully with some moral support. Because I don't think I can take another year of negativity.