whipper-snapper wannabe thugs
Ugh. So, I've never been really good at replying quickly to people in heated confrontations (of the non-intellectual/ivory tower variety).
This morning I caught a later bus than usual and ended up sitting behind two girls who must have been freshmen in high school at the oldest. One was sitting next to an old lady, the other was sitting across the aisle in the aisle seat with an empty seat beside her. For the first few minutes they were talking very loudly, and very ignorantly about random life things. (When I say "ignorantly" I mean, that it seemed like they were sleep deprived, or something because they would heatedly argue with each other about when they took a certain test in class and then one of them would be like, oh yeah, you're right because they'd forgotten even though it happened just a few days ago.)
This bus always grows crowded because of the morning rush of people going to work plus lots of UIC students ride the line. So very soon after I boarded the bus, people came right up to where they were sitting (I almost always sit in the elevated, back 1/4 of the bus). There was a young woman who stopped short of the stairs and was craning her head to the right and left looking for a seat. And their attention was turned to her and they started commenting on her and how she was looking for a seat. She chose to just stay standing rather than ask to sit next to the one girl. So they started laughing at her and calling her stupid because she didn't see the seat. She was less than 20" away from them while they were doing this and they were laughing and talking very loudly, so clearly, she could hear them. Then someone stood up near her to exit the bus and she took their seat immediately. So they confronted her with why she didn't sit next to them and she just politely laughed and said, "Oh! I didn't even see it." So then then started mocking her because of that.
All of that is annoying, rude, etc. But it's what happened next that really got me riled up.
They kept commenting on and laughing at random people on the bus really loudly who were sitting or standing right by them. So then a woman who was older, larger, and had short hair ended up standing right next to them. They started laughing about whether it was a man or a woman. One of them tapped her on the arm to get her to turn around, and then they were laughing, and laughing, and laughing about how ugly she was. How ugly she looked with her short hair. How she should just shave off all her hair instead.
I got so pissed off and no one on the uber crowded bus (where no one else was really talking, so at least 75% of the bus could hear them) was doing anything. So I (figuratively) stepped up.
"You know, it's rude to talk about people right in front of them."
They started laughing and I can't recall the exact conversation, but the gist of it was they were laughing at me, saying it was none of my business. I said that it is hard to get or maintain a job with that sort of rudeness. They said I didn't know what I was talking about and that I couldn't keep a job. They insulted my boots, said I was ugly and that there was something wrong with my lips.
I felt helpless to do anything that would actually have an impact, so I went back to thinking about what my roommate (a CPS teacher) or others would do in that situation. Next time they tried to start talking to me, I called them out asking, "What's your momma's number? Because I'm going to call her and let her know what you're doing."
Apparently that was the wrong (right?) thing to say because they ended up threatening my life. So that was fun. Anyways, the older gentleman next to me said "Cool it." And they calmed down.
In the midst of their threats, they said that that mom was a gangster. I'm guessing that that is hyperbole based on their dress and some of their earlier comments. But it still, it caused me to ponder. I've had numerous discussions with Loretta and other friends who live in the city about what to do in such situations, and the whole "It take a village" philosophy has only been reinforced in those conversations. But really, am I wrong? If their lives are being threatened on a daily basis, is it unreasonable, or the wrong thing for them to focus on when I say that they should be less rude?
In the end, I have no idea. I'm going to try to remember to ask my roommate for her advice sometime this weekend. If nothing else, this gives me another (more urgent) reason to not be late to work, and hopefully I can gain from this experience and learn what to do in future similar situations. Perhaps the best thing to do is a placid, confident, "Cool it." But I fear that those girls would have just laughed at me saying that, so I need to know what to do next. Once they alighted the bus, a passenger literally patted me on the back and said "Good job!" Then went on to describe how those girls are like that every morning, and no one ever stands up to them. And other passengers started talking to strangers about how terribly behaved they were.
Sigh. Somehow I don't know that I'll miss that aspect of riding public trans once I pay off my debt and have enough cashflow to buy an older, used BMW. (Probably far off in my future-unless I marry a rich man soon! ;-) )
This morning I caught a later bus than usual and ended up sitting behind two girls who must have been freshmen in high school at the oldest. One was sitting next to an old lady, the other was sitting across the aisle in the aisle seat with an empty seat beside her. For the first few minutes they were talking very loudly, and very ignorantly about random life things. (When I say "ignorantly" I mean, that it seemed like they were sleep deprived, or something because they would heatedly argue with each other about when they took a certain test in class and then one of them would be like, oh yeah, you're right because they'd forgotten even though it happened just a few days ago.)
This bus always grows crowded because of the morning rush of people going to work plus lots of UIC students ride the line. So very soon after I boarded the bus, people came right up to where they were sitting (I almost always sit in the elevated, back 1/4 of the bus). There was a young woman who stopped short of the stairs and was craning her head to the right and left looking for a seat. And their attention was turned to her and they started commenting on her and how she was looking for a seat. She chose to just stay standing rather than ask to sit next to the one girl. So they started laughing at her and calling her stupid because she didn't see the seat. She was less than 20" away from them while they were doing this and they were laughing and talking very loudly, so clearly, she could hear them. Then someone stood up near her to exit the bus and she took their seat immediately. So they confronted her with why she didn't sit next to them and she just politely laughed and said, "Oh! I didn't even see it." So then then started mocking her because of that.
All of that is annoying, rude, etc. But it's what happened next that really got me riled up.
They kept commenting on and laughing at random people on the bus really loudly who were sitting or standing right by them. So then a woman who was older, larger, and had short hair ended up standing right next to them. They started laughing about whether it was a man or a woman. One of them tapped her on the arm to get her to turn around, and then they were laughing, and laughing, and laughing about how ugly she was. How ugly she looked with her short hair. How she should just shave off all her hair instead.
I got so pissed off and no one on the uber crowded bus (where no one else was really talking, so at least 75% of the bus could hear them) was doing anything. So I (figuratively) stepped up.
"You know, it's rude to talk about people right in front of them."
They started laughing and I can't recall the exact conversation, but the gist of it was they were laughing at me, saying it was none of my business. I said that it is hard to get or maintain a job with that sort of rudeness. They said I didn't know what I was talking about and that I couldn't keep a job. They insulted my boots, said I was ugly and that there was something wrong with my lips.
I felt helpless to do anything that would actually have an impact, so I went back to thinking about what my roommate (a CPS teacher) or others would do in that situation. Next time they tried to start talking to me, I called them out asking, "What's your momma's number? Because I'm going to call her and let her know what you're doing."
Apparently that was the wrong (right?) thing to say because they ended up threatening my life. So that was fun. Anyways, the older gentleman next to me said "Cool it." And they calmed down.
In the midst of their threats, they said that that mom was a gangster. I'm guessing that that is hyperbole based on their dress and some of their earlier comments. But it still, it caused me to ponder. I've had numerous discussions with Loretta and other friends who live in the city about what to do in such situations, and the whole "It take a village" philosophy has only been reinforced in those conversations. But really, am I wrong? If their lives are being threatened on a daily basis, is it unreasonable, or the wrong thing for them to focus on when I say that they should be less rude?
In the end, I have no idea. I'm going to try to remember to ask my roommate for her advice sometime this weekend. If nothing else, this gives me another (more urgent) reason to not be late to work, and hopefully I can gain from this experience and learn what to do in future similar situations. Perhaps the best thing to do is a placid, confident, "Cool it." But I fear that those girls would have just laughed at me saying that, so I need to know what to do next. Once they alighted the bus, a passenger literally patted me on the back and said "Good job!" Then went on to describe how those girls are like that every morning, and no one ever stands up to them. And other passengers started talking to strangers about how terribly behaved they were.
Sigh. Somehow I don't know that I'll miss that aspect of riding public trans once I pay off my debt and have enough cashflow to buy an older, used BMW. (Probably far off in my future-unless I marry a rich man soon! ;-) )