OMD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love music, and i just decoved a fab song that blowed my mind and is so beautiful. It's bouncing around in my head and for once in my life I don't want this song to leave. It's sooooooo good. 'Keep the car running' by Arcade fire.
So to day has been pretty good. I'm to fucking happy to care about anything else in this shit hole of a world. But that what makes it so beautiful. Another beautiful thing about being clean is you can get naturally high. I don't how, But it happens a lot to me. But it feels great.
Do I regret doing drugs. Yes and no. Right this moment, Yes I do. Drugs are amazing. They well keep me in it's own world. But they destroyed my life and me. I lost everything. They made me believe in something that wasn't real. Something I though I could have. Then when I understood I couldn't have it, they would numb it and mask it. I thought they took away the pain but they left me cold, lifeless, empty.
When I came out to my friend that I was and addict, it was in school and at the time I was fucked out of my mind on heroin. Me and my best friend at the time got into a huge fight. She said I could understand what was going on in her life.
Me: You think you have it hard, you have know idea what I'm going though right now.
She just left crying and I started crying. Then a girl at the table said-
Kelly: You know if you wanna talk you can talk to me.
I was fighting in my mind whether to tell them or not. After 5 minutes of silence I said
me: I'm a heroin addict.
shan: what did you just say.
me: I'm a heroin addict. I'm so sorry.
I told them I was clean and my parent knew. So they wouldn't be as worried. Then my use got worse. I even ODed at school 2 times.
The hardest part was telling my best friend jon. He means the world to me and I didn't want to hurt him.
I told him and he went through stages.
1. shock
2. rage
3. sadness
He started crying. when tat happened I lost it. I couldn't take. He is the main reason I stopped using.
Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty
Sound of their breath fades with the light
I think about the loveless fascination
And it's something quite peculiar
Something shimmering and white
Leads you here despite your destination
Under the Milky Way tonight
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Phoenix
So to day has been pretty good. I'm to fucking happy to care about anything else in this shit hole of a world. But that what makes it so beautiful. Another beautiful thing about being clean is you can get naturally high. I don't how, But it happens a lot to me. But it feels great.
Do I regret doing drugs. Yes and no. Right this moment, Yes I do. Drugs are amazing. They well keep me in it's own world. But they destroyed my life and me. I lost everything. They made me believe in something that wasn't real. Something I though I could have. Then when I understood I couldn't have it, they would numb it and mask it. I thought they took away the pain but they left me cold, lifeless, empty.
When I came out to my friend that I was and addict, it was in school and at the time I was fucked out of my mind on heroin. Me and my best friend at the time got into a huge fight. She said I could understand what was going on in her life.
Me: You think you have it hard, you have know idea what I'm going though right now.
She just left crying and I started crying. Then a girl at the table said-
Kelly: You know if you wanna talk you can talk to me.
I was fighting in my mind whether to tell them or not. After 5 minutes of silence I said
me: I'm a heroin addict.
shan: what did you just say.
me: I'm a heroin addict. I'm so sorry.
I told them I was clean and my parent knew. So they wouldn't be as worried. Then my use got worse. I even ODed at school 2 times.
The hardest part was telling my best friend jon. He means the world to me and I didn't want to hurt him.
I told him and he went through stages.
1. shock
2. rage
3. sadness
He started crying. when tat happened I lost it. I couldn't take. He is the main reason I stopped using.
Sometimes when this place gets kind of empty
Sound of their breath fades with the light
I think about the loveless fascination
And it's something quite peculiar
Something shimmering and white
Leads you here despite your destination
Under the Milky Way tonight
Wish I knew what you were looking for
Might have known what you would find
Phoenix