In English.......!
So... I'm like so fucking bored right now.
Everything feels so gross and incomplete.
I do not know if time is speeding up, or if time is slowing down. When people talk to me I do not know if it is me listening or hearing what I want to hear. When I feel I do not know if it is the warm sun kiss touch that I use to love on family trips with my dad; or if it is the cold evil drugs calling me to make love to them. I do not know if I have it all together or if I am losing my mind. I wish I had all the answers to life. So things would seem more normal to me. Make more sense to me. I wish I was not so broken so I could learn to love someone. I wish t would rain, so I could wash everything away. All my worries, all my troubles, all my stuff. I want to stand out side, close my eyes and let the cool water drip down on me. Let me melt with it. Sink into the ground and disappear.Drugs keep me captured in it’s own evil beautiful world. A world filled with sunlight and roses. Everything around you is filled up with beauty and amazement. But you look to close to something then you see that there not so beautiful. The thorns stab me and hurt me. But it feels so good. It makes me feel at home. It makes me feel like I belong.
Everything feels so gross and incomplete.
I do not know if time is speeding up, or if time is slowing down. When people talk to me I do not know if it is me listening or hearing what I want to hear. When I feel I do not know if it is the warm sun kiss touch that I use to love on family trips with my dad; or if it is the cold evil drugs calling me to make love to them. I do not know if I have it all together or if I am losing my mind. I wish I had all the answers to life. So things would seem more normal to me. Make more sense to me. I wish I was not so broken so I could learn to love someone. I wish t would rain, so I could wash everything away. All my worries, all my troubles, all my stuff. I want to stand out side, close my eyes and let the cool water drip down on me. Let me melt with it. Sink into the ground and disappear.Drugs keep me captured in it’s own evil beautiful world. A world filled with sunlight and roses. Everything around you is filled up with beauty and amazement. But you look to close to something then you see that there not so beautiful. The thorns stab me and hurt me. But it feels so good. It makes me feel at home. It makes me feel like I belong.