Adventures of an Average hotel Desk Clerk: The Last Banana
Good evening to you all. I can only imagine what this final chapter means to all of my loyal fans. Waiting for what must seem like a century...or two...ok so not that long. Didn't expect me to make a come back did you? Thought I had shared all there was from the devious, diabolical, and badly maintained hotels of the underworld. I have one more story left to write down. So, remember all you know, or think you know about this Reality.
I have issued the standard identity switch to protect the informant. But in this case I am being especially careful. So the clerk will be portrayed by a female chimpanzee named Alan. Let us begin the story again for the last time...
Where shall I begin? To start with...this is taking a long time since I can only communicate using finger paints. Then the translators but in and usually end up in a food fight with each other.
I thought switching from the night shifts to the morning shifts were going to go easier. In some ways it did. I mean there are always complaints and some problems. They usually are different between shifts. I found that the problems in the morning were less stressful. Mostly. About one year into this front desk job I had a very troublesome morning.
On the second floor we had a set of adjoining rooms. Mr. & Mrs. Flowers and guest were in those rooms. I can see them coming down on the security screen. Which didn't give me much time to hop down from the back office booster seat to the front office booster seat. But I made it in plenty of time. Quick! Look busy...dust. Hehe I was not downing Banana Daiquiri's in the back office!
"Uh-hum. Miss. We have a situation," Mrs. Flowers said.
Hmmm...this can't be good. Sure I bet its another unclogged toilet. Or another smoke smell complaint. Please! Like we really care!
"Well how can I help you?" was what did come out of my mouth.
Mrs. Flowers got all teary eyed and started to explain:
"Well my sister is very ill. We knew that this might happen. Well...we didn't unlock our adjoining doors. She might have died in her sleep. Can you please ring her room to see if she answers?".
I do have to admit that I was no wear near getting that one. Oh, gee. Think about it this time.
"Sure. I can ring the room." Guess I'm on auto-pilot.
No ones picking up...umm. Well I don't remember reading a scenario like this in the training manual.
I know! I will see who's working at the other place and ask.
"Good morning. El Casa de Diablo. Jose speaking. " Jose sings out over the line.
" Jose! Hi this is Alan. I need to ask you something. What do we do about somebody dying in the rooms? Is there a list somewhere I don't know." I ask Jose.
"Huh...gee, Alan I don't know who to call about that. Its never happened to us before. That I know. I guess you should call Mitochondria at home. I know she said not to bother her on the weekends but up to you." Jose replied.
Duh! I should have called before I told Hank the maintenance guy to break the lock on the door. Wait! I hear Hank stomping down the stairs now. He was supposed to call if she wasn't dead. Guess I will have to call the boss at home.
"Hello, Mitochondria? Yes well I needed to inform you that one of our guests died in the room last night. And I don't really know who I should be calling." I spit out. Try not to go blazing on rabbit trails unless there is time.
I think it took her the same amount of time to absorb the whole story as it did me. Wow. Thats a first. The mighty Mitochondria has been...rendered speechless.
That was last week. At the next employee meeting I suggested that a chapter be added about who to call and what to do in case someone just up and dies on us. They just looked at me like nothing had ever happened to condone such an action. Fine, next time I make a banana split, not sharing any.
I have issued the standard identity switch to protect the informant. But in this case I am being especially careful. So the clerk will be portrayed by a female chimpanzee named Alan. Let us begin the story again for the last time...
Where shall I begin? To start with...this is taking a long time since I can only communicate using finger paints. Then the translators but in and usually end up in a food fight with each other.
I thought switching from the night shifts to the morning shifts were going to go easier. In some ways it did. I mean there are always complaints and some problems. They usually are different between shifts. I found that the problems in the morning were less stressful. Mostly. About one year into this front desk job I had a very troublesome morning.
On the second floor we had a set of adjoining rooms. Mr. & Mrs. Flowers and guest were in those rooms. I can see them coming down on the security screen. Which didn't give me much time to hop down from the back office booster seat to the front office booster seat. But I made it in plenty of time. Quick! Look busy...dust. Hehe I was not downing Banana Daiquiri's in the back office!
"Uh-hum. Miss. We have a situation," Mrs. Flowers said.
Hmmm...this can't be good. Sure I bet its another unclogged toilet. Or another smoke smell complaint. Please! Like we really care!
"Well how can I help you?" was what did come out of my mouth.
Mrs. Flowers got all teary eyed and started to explain:
"Well my sister is very ill. We knew that this might happen. Well...we didn't unlock our adjoining doors. She might have died in her sleep. Can you please ring her room to see if she answers?".
I do have to admit that I was no wear near getting that one. Oh, gee. Think about it this time.
"Sure. I can ring the room." Guess I'm on auto-pilot.
No ones picking up...umm. Well I don't remember reading a scenario like this in the training manual.
I know! I will see who's working at the other place and ask.
"Good morning. El Casa de Diablo. Jose speaking. " Jose sings out over the line.
" Jose! Hi this is Alan. I need to ask you something. What do we do about somebody dying in the rooms? Is there a list somewhere I don't know." I ask Jose.
"Huh...gee, Alan I don't know who to call about that. Its never happened to us before. That I know. I guess you should call Mitochondria at home. I know she said not to bother her on the weekends but up to you." Jose replied.
Duh! I should have called before I told Hank the maintenance guy to break the lock on the door. Wait! I hear Hank stomping down the stairs now. He was supposed to call if she wasn't dead. Guess I will have to call the boss at home.
"Hello, Mitochondria? Yes well I needed to inform you that one of our guests died in the room last night. And I don't really know who I should be calling." I spit out. Try not to go blazing on rabbit trails unless there is time.
I think it took her the same amount of time to absorb the whole story as it did me. Wow. Thats a first. The mighty Mitochondria has been...rendered speechless.
That was last week. At the next employee meeting I suggested that a chapter be added about who to call and what to do in case someone just up and dies on us. They just looked at me like nothing had ever happened to condone such an action. Fine, next time I make a banana split, not sharing any.