in through your wall again

[phoenix_moth]

...back here, again
on the same earth.
i feel sick and i think i've lost feeling in my legs,
but it isn't as if it matters.
none of it matters.
nothing matters,
because i am nothing.

my stomach is twisting.
why should i give a shit when i'm the only one who does? come on epiphani, get a fucking grip. it's been two months and everybody's moved on by now but you.

if i scream loud enough will somebody hear?

and for the record, the only reason you became a code was because i love codes and lexicons. it was not a means of diminishing your worth or your meaning at all. I simply love knowing something that other people don't, like what my codes mean.

i can't stay in texas anymore.
except there is still a month and a half to go.
when i leave here
i don't think that i will be coming back too often.
texas soil is not mine anymore and the great big surrealist painting sky is no longer mine to trip out on.

i need somewhere, someone to run away to.