dauphin et desiree (in a parallel universe everything is okay)

[phoenix_moth]

i sing to you and drowsiness shimmers on your skin like layers of spun sugar crystal and in the back of my mind i want to touch my lips to it, just briefly, long enough to imprint it in the minute creases of my lips so that when the sun rises and all these beautiful shards reassemble into the big picture that does not include me i can lick and nibble my own lips in an imitation of the kiss I'll never taste and i can pretendpretendpretendenvision that this is more than a few minutes' grace period. this is a tithe, a parting wish, some metallic hard-edged sliver of mercy to wrap in my arms and sleep against-- to call my own, to keep me from realizing completely that you are not, and you never will be.

i don't go for the "if this is all i can have then i'll make do with it" because i cannot stave off my cravings and hungers and these desires curled languidly around my ears that whisper so seductively to me when there is no music to drown them out but i guess i can pretend to accept this.

i have no choice.