WAIT (what looks so strong)

[phoenix_moth]

okay
let's be totally honest here, i swore i'd never lie again so let's be totally, utterly, completely honest
i am struggling harder than i have ever had to fight against tears and even with all the fight i'm putting up a few tears and some snot keep escaping.
let's be honest: my heart is definitely very very broken

or whatever

i'll tell the truth again: i seriously want to go outside and take my mother's 151 and down a glass after all
i want to go home and find christina and do a shitload of ecstasy with her
i want to find my lunesta and swallow the rest of the bottle, just so i can fall asleep and forget that tonight ever happened
i'll wake up tomorrow and it'll be okay

and let's be honest: i know i won't do any of that and i know it is NOT going to be okay.

i just
need someone to hold me so bad right now