Now more than ever...
...I need help.
For once, I don't even feel like giving everyone an earful of the details of what's happening right now. Probably because I'm actually quite ashamed of myself for once.
...Anyways, if anyone is feeling so bold (or bored?) as to give me advice, I'll listen the best I can. But really, I only want advice if you can back it up. I don't ( Read more... )
For once, I don't even feel like giving everyone an earful of the details of what's happening right now. Probably because I'm actually quite ashamed of myself for once.
...Anyways, if anyone is feeling so bold (or bored?) as to give me advice, I'll listen the best I can. But really, I only want advice if you can back it up. I don't ( Read more... )
Obviously (to me and to you) the treatments that you have tried thus far haven't worked. Therefore, it makes sense to me, at least, that you need to try something else. Yes. I know. You've tried all kinds of something else, hence the four years of runaround. What I mean is that you need to look into other alternatives. Maybe that means looking for a doctor who isn't just going to throw something new at you without looking at what's been done in the past and making random guesses about what might and might not work, or tweaking with your dosages willy-nilly. Maybe it really is saying to hell with the drugs all together, going back to square one, and learning how to function with yourself (and yes, I know that is a very scary thought, but remember, I'm the sort who has a lot of trouble understanding why some people can't simply recognize their demons, put them in their playpen and move on-- and please don't take this as a judgement of how you're dealing with the situation. That you're asking for any sort of help at all is commendable, because you do know that there's something that needs work). Maybe it's taking a more holistic approach because your chi is out of balance...
maybe I'm just babbling again and not really helping at all :/
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And no, I don't feel judged. We're just different, and we acknowledge that, and we proceed along knowing that, and its fine.
I've tried some of this already...
I have better ...hope, maybe? with the new doc because he isn't just shooting in the dark with meds. There will always be a degree of dark-shooting with meds (I HATE that), but he's the first that looked at my medical history and made decisions based on that.
Honestly, the state I'd achieved earlier was the best I'd been in for years. But I knew it just wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to let me do the things I wanted to do with my life.
This new med, unfortunately, seems to not be working well. I still have to wait and see awhile longer, but right now... this isn't going to cut it.
I ...was without meds for a bit between the current one and the last ones I was on. It was scary coming off them only because of the awful withdrawal symptoms.
With them, I had reached a sort of stability. Not a sustainable stability, but one nonetheless. But I came off them anyways; I knwe it wasn't enough and I needed to change.
On no meds... I honestly felt dangerously unstable and I couldn't even find a logical explaination /why/. I felt out of control of myself.
Okay, now I'm babbling. Moving on...
If you have any leads on holistic approaches... I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin. It took me forever to even try psych meds; I'm cynical and cranky and I'd need guidance. I'm losing myself. I think. I certainly don't have the resources left to start something big like that alone.
Maybe what I need to do is shut the hell up and go to bed. :/
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