(no subject)
Most people learn from their past.
Apparently I do not.
I fucking hate myself.
I miss talking to Tim on the phone every night. I miss when things were simple.
I miss when my family was still a family. I miss having parents that care about eachother and do things together.
I'm sick of being lonely and I'm fucking sick of stupid dreams and fantasies.
I'm sick of never reaching my goals and I'm sick of people telling me what I need to do to succeed in life.
I hate being so different and I hate over thinking the simplest matters of life, because all it does it make it hard.
I hate my temper and I hate my violent attitude towards the stupidest shit. I hate not being able to admit when I'm wrong, and I hate being wrong even more. I hate fucking up on simple shit and I especially hate when I do it repeatedly.
I hate how the simplest, stupidest thing can make me feel rejected, and I hate wondering if people I barely know but would like to know think of it as much as I do. Probably not.
I hate myself when I act like a hypocrit. I hate when I basically cry for attention by writing in this retarded fucking journal. I hate feeling like I have to lie and say nothing is wrong just because I both do and don't want to talk about it.
*sigh*
Apparently I do not.
I fucking hate myself.
I miss talking to Tim on the phone every night. I miss when things were simple.
I miss when my family was still a family. I miss having parents that care about eachother and do things together.
I'm sick of being lonely and I'm fucking sick of stupid dreams and fantasies.
I'm sick of never reaching my goals and I'm sick of people telling me what I need to do to succeed in life.
I hate being so different and I hate over thinking the simplest matters of life, because all it does it make it hard.
I hate my temper and I hate my violent attitude towards the stupidest shit. I hate not being able to admit when I'm wrong, and I hate being wrong even more. I hate fucking up on simple shit and I especially hate when I do it repeatedly.
I hate how the simplest, stupidest thing can make me feel rejected, and I hate wondering if people I barely know but would like to know think of it as much as I do. Probably not.
I hate myself when I act like a hypocrit. I hate when I basically cry for attention by writing in this retarded fucking journal. I hate feeling like I have to lie and say nothing is wrong just because I both do and don't want to talk about it.
*sigh*