aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Mar 24, 2004 22:40

it seems i'm having one of those "mental breakdowns" that's been going around ( Read more... )

Leave a comment

shinigami22 March 24 2004, 22:31:56 UTC
Some of this might get me yelled at (by others), and I will probably end up saying some of this in person, but anyway.

You are probably going to lose some of these people.

I am going through the exact same thing. I feel horribly lonely. A lot. I feel isolated. I feel like I am losing my friends because they are changing or because we are losing contact now that we don't have to see each other every day in high school. This upsets me on a regular basis, and it's generally why I seem down sometimes. I worry about it almost every night now. My base of people feels like it is slipping away, down to about three or so people--one of them lives in my room and we have terrible communication skills (which, believe me, hurts me), and another lives 45 miles away and can never be around when I need them. Another practically lives in my room.

This is as much my own fault as it is other people's. I reslise that I should be making more of effort and that I shouldn't just give up. But honestly, college is about change and I think part of what you have to come to terms with is that things are going to change. I think Eric still cares about you, but the sad truth is that you may not be best friends for the rest of your life.

People get lazy, but they also get busy. It's also always easy for people to say "oh, call me if you need me--I didn't realise there was a problem." So don't let it feel like this is all your fault either and everyone says "oh, you haven't been by to visit me" if they haven't been by to visit you either.

I think you need to decide you are most interested in remaining friends with, make a good attempt to call them and spend some time with them. And if things just don't feel right anymore, or if they fall back into not calling, etc.--it might just be time to move on. You don't need friends who say they are your friends, but NEVER make the kind of efforts you are willing to make. It hurts, but it happens.

If things didn't ever change, I would never have become close to you. I really meant what I said yesterday about feeling like you guys are my family. I feel isolated a lot, so this means a lot to me. Even when I am in a group of friends, I NEVER am really in the middle.

Growing up is often painful. It's like those stupid cliched pains in your bones, only in everything. We're all growing up. I'm sorry it hurts, you know I'll do whatever I can to make it better.

<3 <3 <3

Reply


Leave a comment

Up