Yup...
Well, I was on a walk to night, and I had a few thoughts that I thought I might want to write down. Now, you probably are going to think this a bit depressing, but before you judge this entry, I ask that you read 'til the end, and take everything with a grain of salt.
While I was walking, I saw a few people pass me, and I thought about what they must be thinking, I mean...a strange person walking around at 1 in the morning? I thought about what they must be thinking, and what would have happened if I was never there. I saw a few people drive by as well; probably not even giving a second glance. Now, what would they have done if I weren't there? The same thing that they did when I was there. Yep, that's right, nothing else would have been different. Nothing in their routine, whatever reason it is for being up at 1 in the morning, would change. I was at a store today, and I look back on it and ask again, what would have been different in this persons life if I hadn't come in today? Answer; again, absolutely nothing.
I guess the point that I'm coming to here is, no matter what I do, no matter what I say to whomever, it wont change a damn thing. Yea, it might change the day of one or two people, but in the overall picture of things, the world still will be here tomorrow. It will go around just like it did yesterday. Life for 99.9999999% of the world will be the same.
I have realized that you really can't look at life the way I have been. I have always thought about 'what if'...I have thought about 'when should I' and other doubtful questions like that. I was talking to a customer at work today, one that comes in quite often. He told me some of the best advice that I ever could have asked for, and I'm not even sure that he meant to give it to me. But, by his actions, I am writing about what he said...so, who's life did he change today? Mine. Is it going to change my life forever? no. Is it going to make a damn bit of difference to anyone else in the world? nope, 'fraid not. But, his actions have changed something in me today. He told me that I have to quit worrying about what I am going to do next, and who it's going to affect. He said that now is the time in my life when I should have no worries, I still have the rest of my life to figure things out, and I'm not even locked into a job that restricts me from anything. I am single, and I have all those different choices as well.
The truth is, you should have those questions in your mind, yes, but you should not harp on them. If you start asking too many questions and wondering too much, you start to waste your life. I believe that I have spent a little too much time asking questions.
I have worried about all of the things that don't matter in the world. I hesitated, and probably lost the best thing that never happened to me. I waited too long, and that person is now further away then I could have ever imagined.
Now what am I suggesting? nothing. I am not telling anyone to change anything about themselves to fit the way that I think. I am not saying that everyone should do everything that they have ever wanted to do, and just stop thinking about it and go for it all.
I am mearly saying that the time that you spend hesitating, could be the time that matters the most.
I realized this too late, and now I'm forever without what could have been the most beautiful thing of my life.
So, there it is, my random/neurotic thoughts for the night. Enjoy!
While I was walking, I saw a few people pass me, and I thought about what they must be thinking, I mean...a strange person walking around at 1 in the morning? I thought about what they must be thinking, and what would have happened if I was never there. I saw a few people drive by as well; probably not even giving a second glance. Now, what would they have done if I weren't there? The same thing that they did when I was there. Yep, that's right, nothing else would have been different. Nothing in their routine, whatever reason it is for being up at 1 in the morning, would change. I was at a store today, and I look back on it and ask again, what would have been different in this persons life if I hadn't come in today? Answer; again, absolutely nothing.
I guess the point that I'm coming to here is, no matter what I do, no matter what I say to whomever, it wont change a damn thing. Yea, it might change the day of one or two people, but in the overall picture of things, the world still will be here tomorrow. It will go around just like it did yesterday. Life for 99.9999999% of the world will be the same.
I have realized that you really can't look at life the way I have been. I have always thought about 'what if'...I have thought about 'when should I' and other doubtful questions like that. I was talking to a customer at work today, one that comes in quite often. He told me some of the best advice that I ever could have asked for, and I'm not even sure that he meant to give it to me. But, by his actions, I am writing about what he said...so, who's life did he change today? Mine. Is it going to change my life forever? no. Is it going to make a damn bit of difference to anyone else in the world? nope, 'fraid not. But, his actions have changed something in me today. He told me that I have to quit worrying about what I am going to do next, and who it's going to affect. He said that now is the time in my life when I should have no worries, I still have the rest of my life to figure things out, and I'm not even locked into a job that restricts me from anything. I am single, and I have all those different choices as well.
The truth is, you should have those questions in your mind, yes, but you should not harp on them. If you start asking too many questions and wondering too much, you start to waste your life. I believe that I have spent a little too much time asking questions.
I have worried about all of the things that don't matter in the world. I hesitated, and probably lost the best thing that never happened to me. I waited too long, and that person is now further away then I could have ever imagined.
Now what am I suggesting? nothing. I am not telling anyone to change anything about themselves to fit the way that I think. I am not saying that everyone should do everything that they have ever wanted to do, and just stop thinking about it and go for it all.
I am mearly saying that the time that you spend hesitating, could be the time that matters the most.
I realized this too late, and now I'm forever without what could have been the most beautiful thing of my life.
So, there it is, my random/neurotic thoughts for the night. Enjoy!