88: Small wonders
I can't sleep. Aparently insomnia isn't caffiene related with me. I've been going through a lot lately, and very little of it can be captured in words. My muse and I are fighting lately, she wants me to write more, I insist that I study some... I have three exams this semester. All on Tuesday.
'Nice to get them all over and done with like that though.
I'm stricken with insomnia, and this beautiful angelic creature is laying on my futon, sleeping. I wish I could just sit and hold her until I fall asleep, but as I'm not tired whatsoever, I know that it'll take me an hour, likely, to finally be tired enough. I can only sing in my head so much before I run out of material, and I kept shifting and keeping her up which was unfair. I did try to sleep though. 40 minutes should really be enough to be able to fall asleep.
It's too warm in here, I'm actually uncomfortable in it, but as I'll be sleeping next to Jen in my dorm, where Matt is likely to eventually return... I am keeping my clothes on while sleeping (Most people by now know that I sleep as nude as possible.)
I often find myself thinking how Jen can be happy with a guy like me, but her answers always direct me to the same conclusion, she's happy because she's with a guy like me. Maybe I'm not so bad after all.
So, news from the front: I worry about one of my class grades, but the rest I know will be fine. I'll most certainly be back for yet another semester of willingly subjected torture at the hands of a new set of teachers.
Only this time: Earlier.
On to bigger and brighter ideas:
It's typically believed that the gap between Psychological Altruism and Egoism isn't an easy one to cross... I tend to disagree, several times in a day one can shift moral sides based on that they are encountering.
Say a man wakes up in time for his class, but feels that the teacher will give him nothing useful, so he skips.
Egoist.
He goes out to a late breakfast and sees a wallet, and turns it in, cash included.
Altruist.
While getting his breakfast his order is botched, so he goes and complains, getting everything corrected, and silently vows to never let such incompetent people be responsible for feeding him again.
Egoist.
A friend calls and needs help moving furniture around, being a reliable friend, he decides to take time to help.
Altruist.
During the trip over he makes plans afterwards with a friend to go drinking, no reason other than to party, flirt, and pad his ever-growing confidence.
Egoist.
This has happened to someone I know :-p so Mwahahah, I guess people can flip.
This all could be rationalized with a theory I've yet to even hear about I'm sure, but I think the rigidity of a black and white moral compass speaks for itself. People are dynamic. Men are more than a finite set of actions... well, real ones are. Sheep don't count, they don't have actions, merely reactions.
There are Meditative Thinkers: those who act. and Calculative Thinkers: those who react
People who react glean everything from what they see, hear, touch, smell, and taste.
People who act base ideas off of their own thoughts, they create, they manifest, they don't let anything but that which comes from them, and them alone inspire them.
People who react are soliders, while people who act lead. People who react work their lives out with tasks that might not be simple, but are a process. People who act do something new every day, just so they can.
Take a good long look, and think if you act or react. Personally, I can't tell, sometimes I believe I act, others that I merely react so finely on such small bits of things I've seen that I can somehow confuse original thought with mass smatterings.
"What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?"
This has a meaning to my argument. Are calculative thinkers made from people who lose their dreams?
I'll have to think this over... anyway, I'm going to distract myself with boring activities...
-Dylan
'Nice to get them all over and done with like that though.
I'm stricken with insomnia, and this beautiful angelic creature is laying on my futon, sleeping. I wish I could just sit and hold her until I fall asleep, but as I'm not tired whatsoever, I know that it'll take me an hour, likely, to finally be tired enough. I can only sing in my head so much before I run out of material, and I kept shifting and keeping her up which was unfair. I did try to sleep though. 40 minutes should really be enough to be able to fall asleep.
It's too warm in here, I'm actually uncomfortable in it, but as I'll be sleeping next to Jen in my dorm, where Matt is likely to eventually return... I am keeping my clothes on while sleeping (Most people by now know that I sleep as nude as possible.)
I often find myself thinking how Jen can be happy with a guy like me, but her answers always direct me to the same conclusion, she's happy because she's with a guy like me. Maybe I'm not so bad after all.
So, news from the front: I worry about one of my class grades, but the rest I know will be fine. I'll most certainly be back for yet another semester of willingly subjected torture at the hands of a new set of teachers.
Only this time: Earlier.
On to bigger and brighter ideas:
It's typically believed that the gap between Psychological Altruism and Egoism isn't an easy one to cross... I tend to disagree, several times in a day one can shift moral sides based on that they are encountering.
Say a man wakes up in time for his class, but feels that the teacher will give him nothing useful, so he skips.
Egoist.
He goes out to a late breakfast and sees a wallet, and turns it in, cash included.
Altruist.
While getting his breakfast his order is botched, so he goes and complains, getting everything corrected, and silently vows to never let such incompetent people be responsible for feeding him again.
Egoist.
A friend calls and needs help moving furniture around, being a reliable friend, he decides to take time to help.
Altruist.
During the trip over he makes plans afterwards with a friend to go drinking, no reason other than to party, flirt, and pad his ever-growing confidence.
Egoist.
This has happened to someone I know :-p so Mwahahah, I guess people can flip.
This all could be rationalized with a theory I've yet to even hear about I'm sure, but I think the rigidity of a black and white moral compass speaks for itself. People are dynamic. Men are more than a finite set of actions... well, real ones are. Sheep don't count, they don't have actions, merely reactions.
There are Meditative Thinkers: those who act. and Calculative Thinkers: those who react
People who react glean everything from what they see, hear, touch, smell, and taste.
People who act base ideas off of their own thoughts, they create, they manifest, they don't let anything but that which comes from them, and them alone inspire them.
People who react are soliders, while people who act lead. People who react work their lives out with tasks that might not be simple, but are a process. People who act do something new every day, just so they can.
Take a good long look, and think if you act or react. Personally, I can't tell, sometimes I believe I act, others that I merely react so finely on such small bits of things I've seen that I can somehow confuse original thought with mass smatterings.
"What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?"
This has a meaning to my argument. Are calculative thinkers made from people who lose their dreams?
I'll have to think this over... anyway, I'm going to distract myself with boring activities...
-Dylan