all wired up in a dawning ray
My emotions are running the gamut tonight.
Most of this is SPN related. But let's get the non-SPN, downer news out of the way:
Pushing Daisies has been cancelled.
You could see it coming, but television's going to be so much bleaker without PD's weekly helping of joy and magic. It's funny that the ratings that spelled the show's doom would have been GOLD to SPN. Sure, we're talking ABC versus the CW here. But still. If only another network would pick up the show. Thank goodness for SPN, or I'd have no other tv to look forward to (okay, I still watch House, but it's not the kind of series you get worked up about). *smites ABC*
Then there's this, umm, RL meets fannish thing that I don't want to talk about just yet, but it is cause for ridiculous amounts of squee. *is unintentionally cryptic* (I just don't want to jinx anything... until I get tickets. Um.)
And...
I don't know why I'm even typing a reaction to this episode right now, when I can barely think in coherent fragments let along coherent sentences.
Immediate random things:
- Deanpain! Deantears! Face FULL of TEARS! Sam does not hug him! Sammy, hug your fucking brother, boy! *aches*
- Castiel! Still alive! Y'all, I wasn't even worried about this until people started mentioning a white blast in the promo, which I'd actually missed the first two times I'd watched the promo. Then I began to worry myself sick. Because, well. I know the show is all about the boys. Of COURSE it is. But I've come to adore Castiel so fucking much. I am attached. Completely. So thank all the angels and demons he wasn't smote. Also? When Anna got her grace back? And that white light blasted through and out of her? How fucking gorgeous did Misha look? I mean, really! It's unnatural. There's just too much unnatural beauty on this show. Jensen, Jared, Misha. Sweetchocolateyjeezus.
- Dean sex! It's been way too long, Show. Way. Too. Long. (No pun intended. No... pun intended.) In the back of the Impala! With an angel! Is that blasphemy? (woot!) Was it substitution for Castiel? Come on, consider the look on Castiel's face when Dean and Anna kissed. Totally heartbroken. *g* And, there was the acknowledgment that Castiel likes Dean. Heee. Knew it! Oh, but this is about the actual sex scene. Yeah, other than the lameass window gag, it was lovely and hot and not nearly enough. But still HOT. I so need to watch that again. On a loop. (Also, I forgot: was there a cut between Dean pulling her pants off and the next bit? Because I so wanna imagine he went down on her. Damn you, FCC, I wanna see Dean go down on a girl. What else were those lips made for, except going down?)
- ETA: Bad Company! \m/ It's been so long since we got some rock & roll on this show. (Damn you, budget.)
- Uriel smiting the demons was so badass. I like him lots, even though he does cause Dean more pain which should put him on my shitlist.
- Ruby's torture scene. Damn, that was dark. It was giving me flashbacks to Dexter and that banned Nine Inch Nails video (the name of which I'm totally blanking on... I'll look it up later... have the VHS somewhere...). As far as graphicness and delicious evil, it was awesome. But it also made me cringe quite a bit. Because... torturing women just makes me cringe. Call me crazy? Also there was the sexual element to it: Ruby being naked, the sigh she exhaled when the gag was ripped off, the way Alastair (like all demons) is rather lascivious. Made for an unnerving mix altogether.
- Alastair. What was that accent supposed to be? I kinda really like him immensely though. He's like the YED, only so much more wicked. Less cartoonish, more vile. He reminds me of that guard from Cool Hand Luke. Umm, you know the one, right? *blanks*
- Pamela! Oh, I love her! There wasn't nearly enough. I love the eye bit, silly as it was. I love her groping Sam (next time, SHOW IT, hee) and calling him out and, oh. LOVE. Where is the threesome scene with her and the boys? Where, dammit?!
- Anna being an angel. Okay. That explains that stuff that made her seem like a Special Kid but didn't quite fit Special Kid criteria. But the whole "grace" thing seemed somewhat laughable. I wanted the boys to comment on that to diffuse it. Like, I wanted to see an incredulous Dean making a bzuh face and going, "Grace is an actual thing? Something you can lose? Like a puppy? Or a hymen?" One thing I love about the angel storyline, however, is how irreverent it all is. It put the angels in a more human-like predicament than we've seen before. It's also terrifying: the thought of being trapped in servitude, caught up in a forced kind of loyalty for all eternity chills me to the bone. Heaven is supposed to be a better place. Instead, it's like the Russian Army or something. Angels are cossacks! (This might be the wine talking.)
- Castiel fisticuffs! Well, he stayed on his feet for all of 5 seconds, but still. What can you say? Even demons wanna get Castiel flat on his back.
- Ruby watching Sam sleeping. There was something... loving... about it. It caught me off guard. I rather liked it. Of course, who wouldn't want to watch him sleeping? Such a beautiful man.
- Everyone being at Bobby's place without Bobby being there makes me sad. And makes me feel dirty, like I'm watching some kind of violation. *shrugs* Yeah, I dunno either.
- I want to go back to the ending scene. But. I can't. I just don't have words for it. Jensen's talent for ripping our hearts out and squeezing them to pulpy messes is phenomenal That face. That unearthly beautiful face. Coursing with tears. Twisted with pain. How does he go there? How does he come back?? Fuck, just when you think Dean can't be put through any more torment... having it laid bare like that (well, about as bare Dean can get, given his penchant for locking up everything emotional or vulnerable deep within him), it's a whole new level of torment. This man who was raised to help people, to basically sacrifice himself for them... this man who shaped his life by that, defined himself by it.... it. I. Oh. *wants to rend Alastair apart a trillion times over for breaking Dean like that* As I told Shannon, I was expecting some big dramatic twist at the end. A colossal cliffhanger for the hiatus. But instead we got that gutwrenching reveal. It was more visceral than any action!cliffhanger they could have offered. I loved it, though it killed me.
What does this mean for him now? He's Dean; he'll go on. But... will he just keep breaking apart, little pieces falling away as he goes? *wibbles* Sam, oh Sammy. You gotta save your brother for reals now.
On a shallow note, I loved the opening shot of that scene, with the boys leaning against the car, drinking. Beautiful shot. And I love that Kripke narrowed the focus back to the boys (back to the family, if you include Metallicar) for the ending. Back to basics. And that final shot, with Dean turning his head away? Oh. Beautiful and hurty times eleventy.
p.s. Dear Kripke,
How are you enjoying my soul? Feel free to hang on to it as long as you like. You own it, after all.
Contractually yours (no really),
Beth
Most of this is SPN related. But let's get the non-SPN, downer news out of the way:
Pushing Daisies has been cancelled.
You could see it coming, but television's going to be so much bleaker without PD's weekly helping of joy and magic. It's funny that the ratings that spelled the show's doom would have been GOLD to SPN. Sure, we're talking ABC versus the CW here. But still. If only another network would pick up the show. Thank goodness for SPN, or I'd have no other tv to look forward to (okay, I still watch House, but it's not the kind of series you get worked up about). *smites ABC*
Then there's this, umm, RL meets fannish thing that I don't want to talk about just yet, but it is cause for ridiculous amounts of squee. *is unintentionally cryptic* (I just don't want to jinx anything... until I get tickets. Um.)
And...
I don't know why I'm even typing a reaction to this episode right now, when I can barely think in coherent fragments let along coherent sentences.
Immediate random things:
- Deanpain! Deantears! Face FULL of TEARS! Sam does not hug him! Sammy, hug your fucking brother, boy! *aches*
- Castiel! Still alive! Y'all, I wasn't even worried about this until people started mentioning a white blast in the promo, which I'd actually missed the first two times I'd watched the promo. Then I began to worry myself sick. Because, well. I know the show is all about the boys. Of COURSE it is. But I've come to adore Castiel so fucking much. I am attached. Completely. So thank all the angels and demons he wasn't smote. Also? When Anna got her grace back? And that white light blasted through and out of her? How fucking gorgeous did Misha look? I mean, really! It's unnatural. There's just too much unnatural beauty on this show. Jensen, Jared, Misha. Sweetchocolateyjeezus.
- Dean sex! It's been way too long, Show. Way. Too. Long. (No pun intended. No... pun intended.) In the back of the Impala! With an angel! Is that blasphemy? (woot!) Was it substitution for Castiel? Come on, consider the look on Castiel's face when Dean and Anna kissed. Totally heartbroken. *g* And, there was the acknowledgment that Castiel likes Dean. Heee. Knew it! Oh, but this is about the actual sex scene. Yeah, other than the lameass window gag, it was lovely and hot and not nearly enough. But still HOT. I so need to watch that again. On a loop. (Also, I forgot: was there a cut between Dean pulling her pants off and the next bit? Because I so wanna imagine he went down on her. Damn you, FCC, I wanna see Dean go down on a girl. What else were those lips made for, except going down?)
- ETA: Bad Company! \m/ It's been so long since we got some rock & roll on this show. (Damn you, budget.)
- Uriel smiting the demons was so badass. I like him lots, even though he does cause Dean more pain which should put him on my shitlist.
- Ruby's torture scene. Damn, that was dark. It was giving me flashbacks to Dexter and that banned Nine Inch Nails video (the name of which I'm totally blanking on... I'll look it up later... have the VHS somewhere...). As far as graphicness and delicious evil, it was awesome. But it also made me cringe quite a bit. Because... torturing women just makes me cringe. Call me crazy? Also there was the sexual element to it: Ruby being naked, the sigh she exhaled when the gag was ripped off, the way Alastair (like all demons) is rather lascivious. Made for an unnerving mix altogether.
- Alastair. What was that accent supposed to be? I kinda really like him immensely though. He's like the YED, only so much more wicked. Less cartoonish, more vile. He reminds me of that guard from Cool Hand Luke. Umm, you know the one, right? *blanks*
- Pamela! Oh, I love her! There wasn't nearly enough. I love the eye bit, silly as it was. I love her groping Sam (next time, SHOW IT, hee) and calling him out and, oh. LOVE. Where is the threesome scene with her and the boys? Where, dammit?!
- Anna being an angel. Okay. That explains that stuff that made her seem like a Special Kid but didn't quite fit Special Kid criteria. But the whole "grace" thing seemed somewhat laughable. I wanted the boys to comment on that to diffuse it. Like, I wanted to see an incredulous Dean making a bzuh face and going, "Grace is an actual thing? Something you can lose? Like a puppy? Or a hymen?" One thing I love about the angel storyline, however, is how irreverent it all is. It put the angels in a more human-like predicament than we've seen before. It's also terrifying: the thought of being trapped in servitude, caught up in a forced kind of loyalty for all eternity chills me to the bone. Heaven is supposed to be a better place. Instead, it's like the Russian Army or something. Angels are cossacks! (This might be the wine talking.)
- Castiel fisticuffs! Well, he stayed on his feet for all of 5 seconds, but still. What can you say? Even demons wanna get Castiel flat on his back.
- Ruby watching Sam sleeping. There was something... loving... about it. It caught me off guard. I rather liked it. Of course, who wouldn't want to watch him sleeping? Such a beautiful man.
- Everyone being at Bobby's place without Bobby being there makes me sad. And makes me feel dirty, like I'm watching some kind of violation. *shrugs* Yeah, I dunno either.
- I want to go back to the ending scene. But. I can't. I just don't have words for it. Jensen's talent for ripping our hearts out and squeezing them to pulpy messes is phenomenal That face. That unearthly beautiful face. Coursing with tears. Twisted with pain. How does he go there? How does he come back?? Fuck, just when you think Dean can't be put through any more torment... having it laid bare like that (well, about as bare Dean can get, given his penchant for locking up everything emotional or vulnerable deep within him), it's a whole new level of torment. This man who was raised to help people, to basically sacrifice himself for them... this man who shaped his life by that, defined himself by it.... it. I. Oh. *wants to rend Alastair apart a trillion times over for breaking Dean like that* As I told Shannon, I was expecting some big dramatic twist at the end. A colossal cliffhanger for the hiatus. But instead we got that gutwrenching reveal. It was more visceral than any action!cliffhanger they could have offered. I loved it, though it killed me.
What does this mean for him now? He's Dean; he'll go on. But... will he just keep breaking apart, little pieces falling away as he goes? *wibbles* Sam, oh Sammy. You gotta save your brother for reals now.
On a shallow note, I loved the opening shot of that scene, with the boys leaning against the car, drinking. Beautiful shot. And I love that Kripke narrowed the focus back to the boys (back to the family, if you include Metallicar) for the ending. Back to basics. And that final shot, with Dean turning his head away? Oh. Beautiful and hurty times eleventy.
p.s. Dear Kripke,
How are you enjoying my soul? Feel free to hang on to it as long as you like. You own it, after all.
Contractually yours (no really),
Beth