Father's Eve
I was sitting next to my dad while Debra was talking to him on the phone about her being worried that Paris might get her tail caught in some fan in the house that she was staying at and dad starting telling as story that I had heard once before. . .
“Yeah I'd be worried too. . .this one time this. . .well we had puppy chihuahuas when I was little and we were selling them and this woman came up and said she wanted one because her other dog died and we asked her why and she said it was because her other dog walked into the fan and that was the end of it. Mom[my grandma] told her to get out of our yard and that she shouldn't be having dogs. . .”
Then two other stories I hadn't heard
“Yeah one of the chihuahuas we had was famous she, Puddles, was in this Disney movie about a Mexican boy who was trying to make it through the dessert and he had a bicycle that had the tires filled with milk. . .I don't know why. . .doesn't sound too bright. . .of course the milk went sour. . .Puddles was in that movie. One time when I was three I put Puddles in the fridgerator cause I thought she was hot. . .she looked hot. . . and mom beat the you-know-what out of me. I was three. I didn't know any better.”
Debra: “yeah you just don't know any better at that age”
I was inspired by these stories because they are purely my father's and because it is father's day eve.
Also, when I was jogging I passed over an aunt hill and I remember another story he told me once. It was about how he parents me.
“I just have to let you learn by your mistakes. I let you sit on that ant hill that one day when you were little. I said [cutesy voice], “Awww look awt awll the buggies crawlin all over her. . .she'll learn.”
Then he walked away. I didn't know whether to feel betrayed of thankful. Well I know not to sit in ant hills. I don't know when I learned not to. I hope it was that day.
Kinda sadistic actually. Lol. Just like me! Lol. Maybe since my parents stopped controlling me after the divorce I've become a total control freak because of it. . .nah.
I was taking a little breather from cleaning today, sitting in my bed, and then I looked at my shelf and my eyes traveled down to my school paper basket. This is no ordinary basket. It's two and a half feet tall full of school papers that I've collected since kindergarten. Not all my school work, obviously, but a chunk of it nonetheless. I called Mary into my room and I asked her to get the recycling bin and when she came back I started on the monster. I kept things like report cards, pictures, and my first year calendar. Some of the things made me laugh. Like the way I used to spell things on worksheets “I wish I could go to: Kee West.” Some were emotional. I recognized a paper that they photocopied for the divorce court. “I pla in mie corner so I want get hurt. I mis mie dad. He will be home tomorrow.” I don't know what was going through my head. Some of it was vindicating. I found these two separate pictures of my class in second grade. One was at the wjxt station in Jacksonville the other was a picture of us in our play costumes. They were bug costumes. Mostly grasshoppers and ladybugs. I was a ladybug. I remember that I had to sing backup to Jenna for that play because her mom was a teacher for our grade that year I think. Well anywho I was looking at the picture and I was laughing at how freakin cute everyone looked then thinking of their faces if they knew I was looking at this picture, but I wasn't exactly awesome-looking either. I was F-A-T, fat. I had glasses too. That was because I said I had a headache one day and my parents were oversensitive those days after the divorce because they were in this competition to be the better parent so they took me to the eye doctor and somehow I ended up with glasses, really big ugly glasses. But yeah after that I just looked at all the faces and remembered what they did to me all through out elementary school and then smiled. “You're fatter than me now, you're fatter than me now, you're fatter than me now, you went to Bannerman, you're on drugs, you pass by with D's, I still like you, you've never taken that rod out of your ass, you're fatter than me now, you're going to college now so at least you're escaping the hell with me, I don't know what happened to you, you'll never get out of Keystone, you're a dumb ass AND you're fatter than me now, you're on drugs too, but I still love you, and I. . .I'm going to France BITCHES HAA!!! AND I'M SKINNY!” *Puts picture away and composes* Of course I didn't do this aloud. That would be crazy. I did it all in my head.
Looking at the huge pile in the recycle bin it feels like I really didn't learn that much at school. I did a second look-over to the English worksheets that I did this year and the things I mentioned before, but otherwise everything went right in. All that science and math crap means nothing to me. Nothing. Sure I could probably get more into science, but our school system is just such crap. The phonics worksheets that I found in there were the same ones that they use in kindergarten classes today. It makes me sad that nothing has really changed too much in the education system. I hope that I can help that someday. But yeah I was really into physics. You know what? I COULD have been in better classes than the ones I was in! I had a 99% average in Mrs. Dykes class and she didn't put me up because I was tardy one time and I had to get a pass the old way and go to the pink wing. There was a long line and while this was going on, back in the classroom Mrs. Dykes was asking Rachel “where her little friend was” and she was mouthing back so ever since then she never liked me. She also put my sister through hell. I had to go talk to her about it and of course she played the ignorant one. So yeah I could have been in advanced science.
Back to today:
I was reading over the visa guidelines and they make me nervous. All this jibber jabber about insurance, wavers, money, and deadlines really freaks me out. Oh and the lady lied to me. I have to get all this done out before the 20th, that's this 20th, and not the 25th. Big difference!
I might do an essay or two tonight. I feel great so I don't see why not. I just went jogging for twenty minutes. Went jogging yesterday also. I can already feel the results. I cleaned all day as well. Of course it won't stay this way, but at least the house smells nice for now.
My bottom lip is swollen for some reason. I'm thinking something bit me or something. I feel like I”m constantly pouting. Lol. It's very sexy.
I've got a new medication and I got an old medication back!!! Benzyclin!! Stuff's great!
Yesterday I thought about having lunch with Chance today so I sent him a message to call my sister's phone the next day. I woke up and asked my sister if anyone called and she said no. I went to subway to go grab some lunch thinking, "just watch, he'll be having lunch there with Kaylee." Instead when I got there I did a "holy shit" take. She was getting a sandwhich for him cause he was working and it turned out that he did call me around nine. I haven't gotten up that early since the ACTs(that I didn't take). Ah well at least my sister can get a better idea on how to use her cell phone now.
Ahh everyone's been all "let's hang out" lately. I wish I could. I really do, but man have I got a lot of work to do. There's going to be no breaks really for a long time. I've just got to stay focus.
Accomplishments:
went jogging for 20 min
cleaned up house
didn't get into ONE argument with anyone today including my sister
got rid of a bunch of crap in room
started to pack away stuff
did some of my online stuff
wrote this entry
talked for a bit with some friends through various means. . .but all wanted the same thing*sigh*
My dad did this thing where he asked me what I wanted for breakfast in the morning and then went right into his bedroom. He's expecting breakfast in bed then. Mary cut up some fruit and put it in the freezer. There's no way I can get up as early as he does. Well I made queso and bought him one of his favorite foods last night(Amish potatoe salad) so in my eyes that makes me covered. I'm probably gonna have to fucking clean tomorrow too. Joy.
“Yeah I'd be worried too. . .this one time this. . .well we had puppy chihuahuas when I was little and we were selling them and this woman came up and said she wanted one because her other dog died and we asked her why and she said it was because her other dog walked into the fan and that was the end of it. Mom[my grandma] told her to get out of our yard and that she shouldn't be having dogs. . .”
Then two other stories I hadn't heard
“Yeah one of the chihuahuas we had was famous she, Puddles, was in this Disney movie about a Mexican boy who was trying to make it through the dessert and he had a bicycle that had the tires filled with milk. . .I don't know why. . .doesn't sound too bright. . .of course the milk went sour. . .Puddles was in that movie. One time when I was three I put Puddles in the fridgerator cause I thought she was hot. . .she looked hot. . . and mom beat the you-know-what out of me. I was three. I didn't know any better.”
Debra: “yeah you just don't know any better at that age”
I was inspired by these stories because they are purely my father's and because it is father's day eve.
Also, when I was jogging I passed over an aunt hill and I remember another story he told me once. It was about how he parents me.
“I just have to let you learn by your mistakes. I let you sit on that ant hill that one day when you were little. I said [cutesy voice], “Awww look awt awll the buggies crawlin all over her. . .she'll learn.”
Then he walked away. I didn't know whether to feel betrayed of thankful. Well I know not to sit in ant hills. I don't know when I learned not to. I hope it was that day.
Kinda sadistic actually. Lol. Just like me! Lol. Maybe since my parents stopped controlling me after the divorce I've become a total control freak because of it. . .nah.
I was taking a little breather from cleaning today, sitting in my bed, and then I looked at my shelf and my eyes traveled down to my school paper basket. This is no ordinary basket. It's two and a half feet tall full of school papers that I've collected since kindergarten. Not all my school work, obviously, but a chunk of it nonetheless. I called Mary into my room and I asked her to get the recycling bin and when she came back I started on the monster. I kept things like report cards, pictures, and my first year calendar. Some of the things made me laugh. Like the way I used to spell things on worksheets “I wish I could go to: Kee West.” Some were emotional. I recognized a paper that they photocopied for the divorce court. “I pla in mie corner so I want get hurt. I mis mie dad. He will be home tomorrow.” I don't know what was going through my head. Some of it was vindicating. I found these two separate pictures of my class in second grade. One was at the wjxt station in Jacksonville the other was a picture of us in our play costumes. They were bug costumes. Mostly grasshoppers and ladybugs. I was a ladybug. I remember that I had to sing backup to Jenna for that play because her mom was a teacher for our grade that year I think. Well anywho I was looking at the picture and I was laughing at how freakin cute everyone looked then thinking of their faces if they knew I was looking at this picture, but I wasn't exactly awesome-looking either. I was F-A-T, fat. I had glasses too. That was because I said I had a headache one day and my parents were oversensitive those days after the divorce because they were in this competition to be the better parent so they took me to the eye doctor and somehow I ended up with glasses, really big ugly glasses. But yeah after that I just looked at all the faces and remembered what they did to me all through out elementary school and then smiled. “You're fatter than me now, you're fatter than me now, you're fatter than me now, you went to Bannerman, you're on drugs, you pass by with D's, I still like you, you've never taken that rod out of your ass, you're fatter than me now, you're going to college now so at least you're escaping the hell with me, I don't know what happened to you, you'll never get out of Keystone, you're a dumb ass AND you're fatter than me now, you're on drugs too, but I still love you, and I. . .I'm going to France BITCHES HAA!!! AND I'M SKINNY!” *Puts picture away and composes* Of course I didn't do this aloud. That would be crazy. I did it all in my head.
Looking at the huge pile in the recycle bin it feels like I really didn't learn that much at school. I did a second look-over to the English worksheets that I did this year and the things I mentioned before, but otherwise everything went right in. All that science and math crap means nothing to me. Nothing. Sure I could probably get more into science, but our school system is just such crap. The phonics worksheets that I found in there were the same ones that they use in kindergarten classes today. It makes me sad that nothing has really changed too much in the education system. I hope that I can help that someday. But yeah I was really into physics. You know what? I COULD have been in better classes than the ones I was in! I had a 99% average in Mrs. Dykes class and she didn't put me up because I was tardy one time and I had to get a pass the old way and go to the pink wing. There was a long line and while this was going on, back in the classroom Mrs. Dykes was asking Rachel “where her little friend was” and she was mouthing back so ever since then she never liked me. She also put my sister through hell. I had to go talk to her about it and of course she played the ignorant one. So yeah I could have been in advanced science.
Back to today:
I was reading over the visa guidelines and they make me nervous. All this jibber jabber about insurance, wavers, money, and deadlines really freaks me out. Oh and the lady lied to me. I have to get all this done out before the 20th, that's this 20th, and not the 25th. Big difference!
I might do an essay or two tonight. I feel great so I don't see why not. I just went jogging for twenty minutes. Went jogging yesterday also. I can already feel the results. I cleaned all day as well. Of course it won't stay this way, but at least the house smells nice for now.
My bottom lip is swollen for some reason. I'm thinking something bit me or something. I feel like I”m constantly pouting. Lol. It's very sexy.
I've got a new medication and I got an old medication back!!! Benzyclin!! Stuff's great!
Yesterday I thought about having lunch with Chance today so I sent him a message to call my sister's phone the next day. I woke up and asked my sister if anyone called and she said no. I went to subway to go grab some lunch thinking, "just watch, he'll be having lunch there with Kaylee." Instead when I got there I did a "holy shit" take. She was getting a sandwhich for him cause he was working and it turned out that he did call me around nine. I haven't gotten up that early since the ACTs(that I didn't take). Ah well at least my sister can get a better idea on how to use her cell phone now.
Ahh everyone's been all "let's hang out" lately. I wish I could. I really do, but man have I got a lot of work to do. There's going to be no breaks really for a long time. I've just got to stay focus.
Accomplishments:
went jogging for 20 min
cleaned up house
didn't get into ONE argument with anyone today including my sister
got rid of a bunch of crap in room
started to pack away stuff
did some of my online stuff
wrote this entry
talked for a bit with some friends through various means. . .but all wanted the same thing*sigh*
My dad did this thing where he asked me what I wanted for breakfast in the morning and then went right into his bedroom. He's expecting breakfast in bed then. Mary cut up some fruit and put it in the freezer. There's no way I can get up as early as he does. Well I made queso and bought him one of his favorite foods last night(Amish potatoe salad) so in my eyes that makes me covered. I'm probably gonna have to fucking clean tomorrow too. Joy.