Yeah, I'm angry.
So I get to work this morning and log on to aim as per usual. Portia says hi as per usual, but she has something on her mind. She says she has something on her mind, which in my experience has never been a good thing. Then she says the words that everyone dreads hearing, but of course I am completely used to because that's how my life has gone thus far:
"I'm having second thoughts."
She goes on to say how she jumped into a new relationship too fast and that she's still not over her last guy. She had asked me on Friday if it was ok if she went out with Jeff (her last guy) and played baseball. I told her I was a bit skeptical about it, but that I trusted her. She decided against playing baseball, but still went out with him to look at kittens or something of the like and gave blood. I told her in advance that it's always the same when you go out to do something with an ex, he will always try to get you back. Of course, he told her to tell me that he already knew he had lost out to me, but I knew what his game was, it's always the same game.
So, she went out with him for awhile and then we hung out that night. No problems. Yesterday, we spent the morning together, did some things, and then parted ways because we both had stuff we needed to do. Lo and behold, he had left her two voicemails and a text when she had her phone shut off and when we left each other's company, she decided to call him and see what was up. When she told me about this, I thought it was completely obvious as to what he was doing, and told her that she gave him a chance and he took it. She said I gave him a chance by calling him back and I said yes, I knew exactly what game he was playing.
So, in any event, she spent most of the morning saying how if she were me, she wouldn't take me back etc etc. She's basically letting it be known that she's going to chose Jeff over me, color me not surprised. Basically, she did everything but outright say, yes I'm getting back with Jeff.
I'm upset, angry, heartbroken, sad, furious, there are not enough adjectives in a thesaurus to say everything I feel right now. The worst part is that if some fluke were to happen and she picked me, I'd give her another chance, but I don't see that happening.
I let my guard down a bit and this is what happens. I have to say I'm done with all of this. No one is getting in, besides my very best friends, everyone else is going to be completely shutout. I'm so sick of opening myself up only to get completely destroyed. There's no amount of optimism or anything else that is going to break me from what my stance is now going to be. I just can't believe I fell for it again, everything that was said between one another was all for naught.
What the hell gives someone the right to do this to another human being? Moreover, why does stuff like this keep happening to me? I am completely and overly done, if you want me you're going to have to hit me over the head to make me realize it because I am shutdown now.
Fuck women.
"I'm having second thoughts."
She goes on to say how she jumped into a new relationship too fast and that she's still not over her last guy. She had asked me on Friday if it was ok if she went out with Jeff (her last guy) and played baseball. I told her I was a bit skeptical about it, but that I trusted her. She decided against playing baseball, but still went out with him to look at kittens or something of the like and gave blood. I told her in advance that it's always the same when you go out to do something with an ex, he will always try to get you back. Of course, he told her to tell me that he already knew he had lost out to me, but I knew what his game was, it's always the same game.
So, she went out with him for awhile and then we hung out that night. No problems. Yesterday, we spent the morning together, did some things, and then parted ways because we both had stuff we needed to do. Lo and behold, he had left her two voicemails and a text when she had her phone shut off and when we left each other's company, she decided to call him and see what was up. When she told me about this, I thought it was completely obvious as to what he was doing, and told her that she gave him a chance and he took it. She said I gave him a chance by calling him back and I said yes, I knew exactly what game he was playing.
So, in any event, she spent most of the morning saying how if she were me, she wouldn't take me back etc etc. She's basically letting it be known that she's going to chose Jeff over me, color me not surprised. Basically, she did everything but outright say, yes I'm getting back with Jeff.
I'm upset, angry, heartbroken, sad, furious, there are not enough adjectives in a thesaurus to say everything I feel right now. The worst part is that if some fluke were to happen and she picked me, I'd give her another chance, but I don't see that happening.
I let my guard down a bit and this is what happens. I have to say I'm done with all of this. No one is getting in, besides my very best friends, everyone else is going to be completely shutout. I'm so sick of opening myself up only to get completely destroyed. There's no amount of optimism or anything else that is going to break me from what my stance is now going to be. I just can't believe I fell for it again, everything that was said between one another was all for naught.
What the hell gives someone the right to do this to another human being? Moreover, why does stuff like this keep happening to me? I am completely and overly done, if you want me you're going to have to hit me over the head to make me realize it because I am shutdown now.
Fuck women.