I Have a Future (closed to enemies)

Dec 01, 2007 16:17




After reading Zigfried's post, I really stopped to think about my life now and how I feel about it. I am very happy, a bit troubled about the well-being of my friends, but for the most part I am happy. It took me some time before I realized why: For the first time in over 3300 years, I have a bright future ahead of me.

In my past life, my future was always set. While I had say over all, I never could choose something for myself really. Not if it was what I wanted. My people came first, period, as did my image. I was their ruler and symbol of Ra on earth. I needed to be powerful in magic and social standing. Homosexuality was as common as sex itself in my time. But anything lasting... It simply was never an option. Marriage was for a man and a woman, chiefly for the purpose of having children. There was plenty of famiy affection, but keep in mind that we invented legal divorce, too. If I never married, I would be with Mahado and only him, but I would never be respected by my people or other nations. My people would believe me to be immature; I'd be forever a "boy king." Other nations, especially Nubia, thought of gay men as weak and frail. My country would be attacked. If I married a woman but continued seeing Mahado, I would go against much of what our religion was founded on. Adultery was never accepted in popular society. The only reason two pharaohs got away with more than one wife is because they were already known for excess. That is not what I wanted to be remembered for. I wanted to be a good king who did everything for his people. But to do so, I would betray my heart and Mahado's.

When I fell for Mahado, I only trusted two people with the secret: Shadi and Siamun, my teacher and the man who raised me as his own. Shadi reminded me of my responsibilities to my people. In fact, he suggested I marry within a year to stop any rumors that had started. (I was about sixteen, and most head princes were married by age nine.) Siamun wanted me to follow my heart, damn the rumors, and prove my strength through acceptance and magic. I was more powerful than any other pharaoh before my time, and if any nations dared enter our borders, he'd be the first to defend me. ^_^ Such a kind man!

I wanted to speak to Seth about it, but events got in the way...
I stand now, staring at the lovely white snow out of my window, looking out to the land I have already sworn to protect, and realize that there is a prospect of true happiness in my future. The man I love is not only a monarch himself, but he is kind, generous, brave, loyal, and strong. (And smoking hott!!) To rule beside him would be an honor beyond words and a dream come true! It is surreal!

But like him I wish to wait. Nothing is ever this perfect. I want to stay here for a while, perhaps come when I am needed. It seems as though Amelda and Kaiba are doing well for the time being, and Yugi has not been attacked. I would rather focus on finding out information about my powers, training Zigfried and Leon, and getting to know my angel more. *smiles* There is no rush. He is mine, and I am his. Marriage will come in time if the gods see fit.

I feel more at home in this time than I did in my own. There is so much to learn and to do! I have read so much, which is a treat in itself and I would love to travel with Zigfried. He mentioned going to Egypt at some point. I wonder if he would be interested in seeing my tomb. He'd certainly learn more about me from that! *smirk* Assuming he survives!

(ooc: Not my fav pic, but it'll do. -_-)

my past, reflection, peace, love, zigfried

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