All I know is two and two don't equal twenty-six.
So I usually try to have a good reason to write in here. Usually if it's been an extraordinarily long time since I last wrote, or if something big or dramatic has changed in my life, then I'll pen a note on current event. But I think this is the first time I've written in a long time since my reason's been that I'm somewhat depressed.
Not that I'm trying to complain or draw pity, like anybody looks at LiveJournal anymore, but I just need an out. Somewhere to just write, to talk, to express. Life's been tricky these last couple months, and for the first time, I'm feeling unsure about how to do things. One thing about myself is that I'm not usually that cautious. I don't generally watch what I say, I just do things based on impulse and usually, I just come off as an ass, or just an idiot. I've changed though... I'm being cautious and calculating. I've gone back to trying to be quiet and withdrawn. I went to a party last night and stayed for an hour because I just didn't feel like being around. I worked for a long time to get myself out of the stupid mode, but here I am... Right back at the beginning.
Nothing's actually changed in my life that's been monumental. Up until now, I have been motivated, working hard to make sure I stay on track in all my classes; make a point for finishing strong. After all, this is it! I'm done with college in a year, or what really is the this year... I don't have anything to do next year. So really, school has been going well. I even practice horn, not French horn apparently. (It is French horn, but Lin says "many people in the horn society are seeking to change the name to just horn. She is a quack, whatever.) I don't play trombone much anymore. I finished my requirements, so I only play it when I have to: Russell Brown. Eventually, I'll really pick it back up again. I like playing, and I like being good at something... No reason to just stop that.
Work kinda sucks... I wish I had more responsibility. I know I'm a smart guy and I'm responsible. And I've been there four and a half years... I'm more than qualified. I just hate mindless cashiering; it's the same menial job every day I go in. And no one hires right now, so nothing looks promising there.
And my love life? I don't really care to talk about it. It's Complicated.
I guess I just wish I felt better about where my life was right now. I wish I had something to look forward to... but I don't. The end of college brings more questions, and this time... I have no idea what the answer is going to be.
I'm going to Chicago this weekend if the weather holds out. Hopefully I'll see my brothers, it should be fun. The Saturn's acting up again, I hope it doesn't go on me...
I really hope everyone else is doing well. See yah.
Splooie
joe
Not that I'm trying to complain or draw pity, like anybody looks at LiveJournal anymore, but I just need an out. Somewhere to just write, to talk, to express. Life's been tricky these last couple months, and for the first time, I'm feeling unsure about how to do things. One thing about myself is that I'm not usually that cautious. I don't generally watch what I say, I just do things based on impulse and usually, I just come off as an ass, or just an idiot. I've changed though... I'm being cautious and calculating. I've gone back to trying to be quiet and withdrawn. I went to a party last night and stayed for an hour because I just didn't feel like being around. I worked for a long time to get myself out of the stupid mode, but here I am... Right back at the beginning.
Nothing's actually changed in my life that's been monumental. Up until now, I have been motivated, working hard to make sure I stay on track in all my classes; make a point for finishing strong. After all, this is it! I'm done with college in a year, or what really is the this year... I don't have anything to do next year. So really, school has been going well. I even practice horn, not French horn apparently. (It is French horn, but Lin says "many people in the horn society are seeking to change the name to just horn. She is a quack, whatever.) I don't play trombone much anymore. I finished my requirements, so I only play it when I have to: Russell Brown. Eventually, I'll really pick it back up again. I like playing, and I like being good at something... No reason to just stop that.
Work kinda sucks... I wish I had more responsibility. I know I'm a smart guy and I'm responsible. And I've been there four and a half years... I'm more than qualified. I just hate mindless cashiering; it's the same menial job every day I go in. And no one hires right now, so nothing looks promising there.
And my love life? I don't really care to talk about it. It's Complicated.
I guess I just wish I felt better about where my life was right now. I wish I had something to look forward to... but I don't. The end of college brings more questions, and this time... I have no idea what the answer is going to be.
I'm going to Chicago this weekend if the weather holds out. Hopefully I'll see my brothers, it should be fun. The Saturn's acting up again, I hope it doesn't go on me...
I really hope everyone else is doing well. See yah.
Splooie
joe