Once in the beginning, once in the end...
It's not really prophetic, it just means I wrote in here once at the beginning of the semester and now here I am writing in the end, reflecting and what not. Seems right, haven't done this in a while and it's worth writing for the first time in the long time.
Well in the end, college continues to teach new things, this semester maybe more so than any year previous. It's like that drama on TV that just gets more and more intense each season. SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! Not really kidding... for the first time, I have no idea what's happening or where this is all going. Reflecting on school, let's see...
Well there's methods. This class is butt load of crap that is my training for the real world. Your internship is my practicum/fieldwork. This was a particularly good year for taking certain classes and having certain jobs all in the same time. I started the year teaching at Portage Northern High School, working at Target, taking a class called School and Society, and practicum teaching at an "inner-city" school. This year gave me a chance to reflect and compare each of these experiences. They are so different, yet relate in so many ways. I really think it may have been one of the best experiences I've had as far as classes and work load are concerned. At this point, I really do feel strongly about what I've chosen to do with my life. There's no easy way to do this, and I know it's going to be so much work. There's so much left to do before I can say goodbye to this place, but I've started making my steps.
Portage Northern was a number successes that led to a monumental failure of which I had almost had no control. These were an amazing group of kids to work with. Their ability to handle concepts and digest information wasn't really matched by Lake Orion. Lake Orion is just plain straight talented, and they have great overall instruction. I felt on many occasions this year like I was the only person who knew exactly what do with the band and how to get them to another level, which is frustrating when the teacher is a control freak. Their instructor is a moron. I found myself so unbelievably frustrated on so many occasions, I wanted to get in my car and leave. Things got better throughout the season though, as I had some time with the horn line, and they made vast improvements as an ensemble. I was riding high with these kids as eventually they came to me instead of him when they had questions about music or drill, which felt great to me. In Jenison, the kids marched a 72! I was happy for them, we were only six points back of Lake Orion, which I thought was tremendous. (I knew this group would never be close, but I at least wanted to be within ten points.) Sort of in my prime though, this was all stripped from me. I was accused by a teacher, not a student mind you, of showing interest in dating a student. So, I was immediately released from my position and told I couldn't come back to the campus of Portage Northern High School. Nothing would appear on any record, everything would just die away and it was as if I never existed. I was heart broken, really. I grown attached to a great group of kids that REALLY wanted to succeed. They contrasted Lake Orion in that every kid in the band was there to do well, every time they showed up. A number of students showed their there anger or sadness, posting things to my Facebook and what not. Regardless, there was nothing for me to do but watch. Kids told me the last week was terrible and unproductive. It was so incredibly frustrating. They went on to march a 68 at Milford and dropped dead out of the running for State Finals.
Essentially, I feel almost as if I didn't accomplish anything with Portage because of that. I managed to esquire student support away from their teacher (not that I was planning a mutiny) so I could work more of my methods and trainings, but I have nothing to show for it. I will always be bitter about this. On the bright, I have Lake Orion to turn to. I taught this school it's marching technique through their visual caption head, and this was a great success. We took feet and State Finals and nearly knocked off Canton. I honestly thought they should've taken it, but what do I know.
I'm not sure what I'll do next year. I think I'll try to ride this Lake Orion thing through to next season and see if I can't pick up a position working somewhere else. I really need to be in a program that's more focused on competition. Portage wasn't ever going to really compete, and they're definitely not a band that's going to go for anything upper-tier as far as show concept and performance is concerned. I need that kind of program; it's where I'll be the most useful and grow the most as a teacher and to-be designer. Oh well, I guess I'll take it when I get there.
So that's kinda school. Conducting sorta blew up in my face, but we don't honestly need to talk about that. Trombone is over with, I got a BA on my senior hearing. Ensembles are done forever, I topped at first chair in Symphonic Band, which I didn't even earn, I was just older than the two hot shots that kicked my ass. *sigh*
It's not really a bad place to be. I'm kinda wading my to other side of the lake, and I can finally start to make out the shoreline on the other side.
My relationship with my family is so good right now. I have been so reflective in this area, and so much more thankful for what I have. Some people are not as fortunate as I am and there nothing to take for granted when it comes to the people you have around you. My parents have been so hopeful with everything, they've been there at every corner. Still, I can't help wishing that other people could have what I have. Not that I want what anyone else has, but no one at this stage of the game should have anything less. It kills me to see it any other way, and I wish I could do something. Alas, I find myself in a position to have the open door for anyone who wants to come in and talk....
Everything outside of school is really working for me. I have money, I have really great friends (most of the time, haha,) I live in a good place, my car runs well, and honestly, I have nothing to complain about.
As far as relationships go... I have learned more... More than I ever EVER wanted to learn. I had sacrificed a great deal of my summer to Ashley, and in a major way, in sort of blew up in my face. I am not going to write anything of the details, but you can know that for her beginning school... it served as an example of freedom gone out of control, and this but serious strain on our relationship. I am not going to paint any chocolate covered raindrops here, our relationship has been through a grinder, and it is in no state of high flying. I find myself out of love and missing what I had. I find it so hard to get back to where everything used to be. Yes Ashley and I are dating, but it's not what it was. Things are greatly different for us both, and things are going to go the way they're going to go. She's coming to Michigan in about two weeks and we'll have to see how that affects things. Right now, I don't have any expectations either way. I've told her day in and day out, we take this one day at a time, that's the only way anything is going to get done. I know how she feels, I know how I used to feel... We'll just see what happens...
I think this sort of wraps things up. I'm going home tomorrow (Monday) for a couple days to relax before I have to play in commencement. I have an easier work load for the break, so I will attempt to catch my breath. One thing I can say for this semester is that it's been a pretty heavy workload, and I'll be quite happy to see it gone and a new one ushered in. Next semester is going to bring similar challenges this semester brought, but we're taking this one step at a time. Every day is a day closer to my walk across the stage, and it's all happening one step at a time.
For now, good luck to everyone on their final exams. I hope everything goes well for everyone as we move into the holiday season. Look to your friends, they'll always be there.
SPLOOIE
joe
Well in the end, college continues to teach new things, this semester maybe more so than any year previous. It's like that drama on TV that just gets more and more intense each season. SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT! Not really kidding... for the first time, I have no idea what's happening or where this is all going. Reflecting on school, let's see...
Well there's methods. This class is butt load of crap that is my training for the real world. Your internship is my practicum/fieldwork. This was a particularly good year for taking certain classes and having certain jobs all in the same time. I started the year teaching at Portage Northern High School, working at Target, taking a class called School and Society, and practicum teaching at an "inner-city" school. This year gave me a chance to reflect and compare each of these experiences. They are so different, yet relate in so many ways. I really think it may have been one of the best experiences I've had as far as classes and work load are concerned. At this point, I really do feel strongly about what I've chosen to do with my life. There's no easy way to do this, and I know it's going to be so much work. There's so much left to do before I can say goodbye to this place, but I've started making my steps.
Portage Northern was a number successes that led to a monumental failure of which I had almost had no control. These were an amazing group of kids to work with. Their ability to handle concepts and digest information wasn't really matched by Lake Orion. Lake Orion is just plain straight talented, and they have great overall instruction. I felt on many occasions this year like I was the only person who knew exactly what do with the band and how to get them to another level, which is frustrating when the teacher is a control freak. Their instructor is a moron. I found myself so unbelievably frustrated on so many occasions, I wanted to get in my car and leave. Things got better throughout the season though, as I had some time with the horn line, and they made vast improvements as an ensemble. I was riding high with these kids as eventually they came to me instead of him when they had questions about music or drill, which felt great to me. In Jenison, the kids marched a 72! I was happy for them, we were only six points back of Lake Orion, which I thought was tremendous. (I knew this group would never be close, but I at least wanted to be within ten points.) Sort of in my prime though, this was all stripped from me. I was accused by a teacher, not a student mind you, of showing interest in dating a student. So, I was immediately released from my position and told I couldn't come back to the campus of Portage Northern High School. Nothing would appear on any record, everything would just die away and it was as if I never existed. I was heart broken, really. I grown attached to a great group of kids that REALLY wanted to succeed. They contrasted Lake Orion in that every kid in the band was there to do well, every time they showed up. A number of students showed their there anger or sadness, posting things to my Facebook and what not. Regardless, there was nothing for me to do but watch. Kids told me the last week was terrible and unproductive. It was so incredibly frustrating. They went on to march a 68 at Milford and dropped dead out of the running for State Finals.
Essentially, I feel almost as if I didn't accomplish anything with Portage because of that. I managed to esquire student support away from their teacher (not that I was planning a mutiny) so I could work more of my methods and trainings, but I have nothing to show for it. I will always be bitter about this. On the bright, I have Lake Orion to turn to. I taught this school it's marching technique through their visual caption head, and this was a great success. We took feet and State Finals and nearly knocked off Canton. I honestly thought they should've taken it, but what do I know.
I'm not sure what I'll do next year. I think I'll try to ride this Lake Orion thing through to next season and see if I can't pick up a position working somewhere else. I really need to be in a program that's more focused on competition. Portage wasn't ever going to really compete, and they're definitely not a band that's going to go for anything upper-tier as far as show concept and performance is concerned. I need that kind of program; it's where I'll be the most useful and grow the most as a teacher and to-be designer. Oh well, I guess I'll take it when I get there.
So that's kinda school. Conducting sorta blew up in my face, but we don't honestly need to talk about that. Trombone is over with, I got a BA on my senior hearing. Ensembles are done forever, I topped at first chair in Symphonic Band, which I didn't even earn, I was just older than the two hot shots that kicked my ass. *sigh*
It's not really a bad place to be. I'm kinda wading my to other side of the lake, and I can finally start to make out the shoreline on the other side.
My relationship with my family is so good right now. I have been so reflective in this area, and so much more thankful for what I have. Some people are not as fortunate as I am and there nothing to take for granted when it comes to the people you have around you. My parents have been so hopeful with everything, they've been there at every corner. Still, I can't help wishing that other people could have what I have. Not that I want what anyone else has, but no one at this stage of the game should have anything less. It kills me to see it any other way, and I wish I could do something. Alas, I find myself in a position to have the open door for anyone who wants to come in and talk....
Everything outside of school is really working for me. I have money, I have really great friends (most of the time, haha,) I live in a good place, my car runs well, and honestly, I have nothing to complain about.
As far as relationships go... I have learned more... More than I ever EVER wanted to learn. I had sacrificed a great deal of my summer to Ashley, and in a major way, in sort of blew up in my face. I am not going to write anything of the details, but you can know that for her beginning school... it served as an example of freedom gone out of control, and this but serious strain on our relationship. I am not going to paint any chocolate covered raindrops here, our relationship has been through a grinder, and it is in no state of high flying. I find myself out of love and missing what I had. I find it so hard to get back to where everything used to be. Yes Ashley and I are dating, but it's not what it was. Things are greatly different for us both, and things are going to go the way they're going to go. She's coming to Michigan in about two weeks and we'll have to see how that affects things. Right now, I don't have any expectations either way. I've told her day in and day out, we take this one day at a time, that's the only way anything is going to get done. I know how she feels, I know how I used to feel... We'll just see what happens...
I think this sort of wraps things up. I'm going home tomorrow (Monday) for a couple days to relax before I have to play in commencement. I have an easier work load for the break, so I will attempt to catch my breath. One thing I can say for this semester is that it's been a pretty heavy workload, and I'll be quite happy to see it gone and a new one ushered in. Next semester is going to bring similar challenges this semester brought, but we're taking this one step at a time. Every day is a day closer to my walk across the stage, and it's all happening one step at a time.
For now, good luck to everyone on their final exams. I hope everything goes well for everyone as we move into the holiday season. Look to your friends, they'll always be there.
SPLOOIE
joe