Silence is still golden while duct tape is silver in the corner
Mmmm how to recap oh well might as well start somewhere. Life is good, no crises at the moment.
New years was good, and taxes are done. Did get some money and paid off old debt.
Ex-husband is getting a divorce and he's being nice to me. Mmmm He bought Bunny a labtop. It's good I think she'll have her own computer and she can do a lot with it. Mainly to pracitce her typing. She loves to do that.
Bunny's IEP went well thanks to a new IEP coordinator that listened to me. For once I feel confident that I'm not going to be throwing her to the wolves. Visual spatial plans are now in play and Bunny is doing so well in Kumon as well. She's going to be put into the main room with the "Big Kids". She excited.
I'm doing well. I found my old self which I think is good. I don't worry much anymore and I'm there for people again. I can listen and come up with solutions to help again. I feel good and hardly gloomy anymore. I'm reading a new book called "A New Earth" by Eckart Tolle. It's really good and I think it's helping me.
Work is good, I'm becoming more innovative by the moment. So far I've submitted 8 ideas to the Task force. The task force is a group of FES associates that are trying to make the company a better place to live in. So far 4 of my ideas have made it to the senior management team and they are implimenting them. I'm trying to get a copy of them so I can put them on my resume. Research is good and I'm trying now to slowly get out of it so that I can grow within the company. My goal right now is to make manager before going to director or even vp. Hey why not?!
A sweet co-worker is wanting to set me up with her son, he's only 3 years younger than me.
Eh, I don't mind right now. I do have dear friend on line that talks to me and is close to Cranky Doll oddly enough. He's just gone through a heartattack and is recovering rather well. I think we are very good and close friends though he says he's in love with me. I remember how long distance online things go. I don't say I'm in love or loving him. I'm deeply fond of him and hope the best for him. I've come to the understanding that mentally I do think of him often, and yes he sent me something for V-day, however I'm not in love with him. He at times seems upset but he understands that since we can't be together that I'm not ready to do commit or say things like that.
If I date or fall in love again, I want the man to be here. He doesn't have to love in Shorewood but around me. I'm not going to give my heart to a man I've never met or have seen on a daily basis. I think that if this friend were to move up there and we were to see each other for some time, I might the move deeper but not now. I don't feel it and I'm not going to force myself to feel that way again. I'm not scared to fall in love or to get into a relationship again. I want to be honest with myself and honest with him. I feel that's the best way to handle it.
Sure I would feel saddened that I couldn't talk to him on the phone as often as we do if he was to find another love. But I'd be happy that he did find a woman around him that he thought he could love. I'm resided in the fact I find peace within myself and starting to show Bunny how to be more so than finding someone to lie to so I have a body next to me in bed to keep me warm.
I've started to chant now. A Buddahist co-worker gave me some information about her religion to share with Bunny and I'm using their chant in my meditation. No I'm not going Buddahist but the chant is rather relaxing.
Nam Myoho Renge Kyo -- I like to do it slow to medium to relax me and put me at ease. Make me reflect and see just what I need to do and where I need to go. I enjoy it and it sooths me in ways I haven't been soothed before. *smiles* I think I'm becoming my own knight in shining armor to my damsel in distress. I feel this great inner strenght that I haven't known in years. For the past few months I can say I'm happy and that I'm wonderful. It brings tears to my eyes and I cry, but it's the releasing of all those negative and bitter things that were weighting me down. If I could fly I'd be soaring right now and it feels sooooooooo good.