(no subject)
Title: Strawberry flavour, chapter 5/?
Author: Las
Pairings: Jonne/Linde, Jonne/Ville, Ville/Linde
Rating: R (yup, I’ve decided that will probably be highest)
Summary: Linde holds a secret love...
Author’s notes: I swear, it’s the nice comments that made this chapter come so soon! *winks*
Find all the other chapters here!
-------------------
They had dinner back at the hotel, and it was awkward. Migé had apparently - and expectedly - reported of their conversation that morning to Ville, Burton and Gas. It wasn’t that they ignored him, but they seemed unsure of whether to talk to him or not, unsure if any approach was even welcome. This in turn made Linde awkward as well, and as such he kept his conversing with everyone to a minimum and didn’t look any of his friends in the eye.
It wasn’t often that he was confronted with the problem of wishing he’d just done as he’d been expected to, instead of saying what was in his mind right then and there. But in a way, he also didn’t feel like letting go this state of mind he’d reached. This was not the right moment for apology or reassurances.
He excused himself early, saying he wanted some peace and quiet - something he did often enough, and only surprised Jonne. “Are you alright?” The singer leaned in closer, and continued softer, “Shall I come with you?”
Linde shook his head. “No, I’m fine, really. I would just appreciate a quiet night.”
“Okay…” There was a light frown of worry in Jonne’s eyes, and a hesitant silence after which Linde almost expected the other to say something else, but he was grateful that Jonne didn’t. “Goodnight then.”
“You too.”
Back in his room, he got out his cell phone and searched his number list for ‘Manna’. He hesitated one moment, then pressed the phone button. He’d been trying to call her on the first days of their tour, but no one had answered - he wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or worried, but he wanted to know what was going on.
A deep male voice answered the phone. “Yes?”
“Hi, it’s Linde,” Linde stammered, taking a deep breath before continuing, “Is Manna there?” He didn’t like talking on the phone in general, and even more did he hate to hear this man’s voice on the other side. He strolled over to the window, trying to calm his heart.
“Manna? Where have you been the last week? I’ve been trying to reach you. … Holiday? Of a sudden?…” He uttered an irritated sigh. “Could you please tell me next time, so I don’t have to worry? … Well, she happens to be my daughter too- … Of course I’m okay, just not happy with you suddenly disappearing. … Still, you should have let me know. … How is she, anyway?”
While he listened to his ex-wife telling him about his baby daughter’s first steps, and the cold she’d had the week before, Linde stared blankly to the dark clouds, with streaks of a starry night sky in between. I can’t believe I’m missing all this. I still can’t believe this isn’t mine anymore.
“Manna?” He softly interrupted her.
She stopped talking.
“You should have known sooner we wouldn’t work, with me being away from home so often. You should have told me about your doubts. I hate it, that you took it all out of my hands, that you never even discussed this with me. And I hate it, that the moment I’m gone, there’s someone else to take my place in your heart, and my place in my daughter’s life.” One shuddering breath, and another one. “I just thought you should know that.”
It wasn’t all like that, it had never been that easy, but the words burned inside him as a simple truth.
There was only some muffled breathing coming from the other side, then a shaky, “Okay.”
Linde could hear how close to tears she was, and he wasn’t far away from crying himself either. He didn’t want her to know that. “Well… thanks for updating me, anyway.” Linde made it sounds as flat as possible.
“Yeah…” was Manna’s only reply, crack in her voice. Another, short moment of whirling thoughts and unspoken words. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight. Kiss Olivia for me,” he forced out.
Linde hung up and sat down on his bed tiredly, then let himself fall backwards, a tight feeling in his chest. That certainly wasn’t planned. Maybe it’s the wine?
His inner eye jumped from his wife’s sad features to his young daughter’s curious eyes - to Jonne, then to Ville. I will not let it depress me once more. Not now. His thoughts returned to Jonne, and a slow smile drifted on his lips.
He regretted his wish to be left alone though, as part of him really wouldn’t mind having a certain person around to keep his thoughts on happy things. After staring at the same page of his book for 10 minutes, and then flicking through the channels of the TV - while he really thought watching TV was about the dullest thing a person could do, maybe with exception of racing or fight games - he got up with a sigh and left his room. He didn’t really feel like going downstairs and facing Migé and the others, but if it was the only option he had besides being alone in his room, he would.
His heart jumped when he passed Jonne’s room and realised the light was on. Is he up here? Why? He knocked, called out softly, but didn’t receive a reply. Maybe he just left his light on.
Linde tried the door, and found it open. Jonne was stretched out against the headboard, plugs of his mp3-player in his ears, eyes opening - lips forming a smile. He pulled out one plug. “Hey.”
“Hi, uhm… I… decided I’d like some company anyway.” His eyes darted through the room. “But if you’d prefer to be alone…”
“I prefer to be alone with you.” After a mischievous glance, Jonne’s face broke into a wide, sincere smile. “I was hoping you’d come, to be honest.”
And honest he is, Linde thought. I can’t believe it still surprises me!
“You seemed troubled, earlier. Is everything alright between you and you and the others? Are they upset you didn’t spend the day with them?”
“That too, maybe.” Linde sighed, avoided Jonne’s eyes. “I don’t feel like talking about it now.”
“Alright. What do you want to do then?”
“I don’t know… I just talked to my… ex-wife,” Linde forced the word out, “and I don’t want to end the night on that miserable tone.”
“Oh… I can imagine.” Jonne smiled sympathetically, then threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He pressed a kiss to Linde’s lips and drew him into a gentle hug.
Linde rested his head against the other’s shoulder. “I would still like to keep it a quiet night though.”
And so Linde ended up collecting his book from his own room, and sitting on the bed next to Jonne, who snuggled up to him, listening to his music. Never had human contact felt so good, it seemed to him.
But it was Linde who finally broke the peaceful evening, shifting slightly so he’d get Jonne’s attention. “I’m tired, I should go to sleep.”
“You wanna stay here tonight?” Jonne asked, in what seemed a nearly thoughtless way.
A sudden rush of nerves spread through Linde’s stomach.
Jonne couldn’t have missed it, but he just smiled. “I don’t like to be alone at night. It’s your choice though.”
Linde looked at him, the man that had been so utterly sweet to him the past days. He breathed in deeply. “Alright.”
One part of him argued, why am I agreeing to this? And that tiny voice in the back of his head stated clearly, as he met Jonne’s smiling eyes, because I want to.
Author: Las
Pairings: Jonne/Linde, Jonne/Ville, Ville/Linde
Rating: R (yup, I’ve decided that will probably be highest)
Summary: Linde holds a secret love...
Author’s notes: I swear, it’s the nice comments that made this chapter come so soon! *winks*
Find all the other chapters here!
-------------------
They had dinner back at the hotel, and it was awkward. Migé had apparently - and expectedly - reported of their conversation that morning to Ville, Burton and Gas. It wasn’t that they ignored him, but they seemed unsure of whether to talk to him or not, unsure if any approach was even welcome. This in turn made Linde awkward as well, and as such he kept his conversing with everyone to a minimum and didn’t look any of his friends in the eye.
It wasn’t often that he was confronted with the problem of wishing he’d just done as he’d been expected to, instead of saying what was in his mind right then and there. But in a way, he also didn’t feel like letting go this state of mind he’d reached. This was not the right moment for apology or reassurances.
He excused himself early, saying he wanted some peace and quiet - something he did often enough, and only surprised Jonne. “Are you alright?” The singer leaned in closer, and continued softer, “Shall I come with you?”
Linde shook his head. “No, I’m fine, really. I would just appreciate a quiet night.”
“Okay…” There was a light frown of worry in Jonne’s eyes, and a hesitant silence after which Linde almost expected the other to say something else, but he was grateful that Jonne didn’t. “Goodnight then.”
“You too.”
Back in his room, he got out his cell phone and searched his number list for ‘Manna’. He hesitated one moment, then pressed the phone button. He’d been trying to call her on the first days of their tour, but no one had answered - he wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or worried, but he wanted to know what was going on.
A deep male voice answered the phone. “Yes?”
“Hi, it’s Linde,” Linde stammered, taking a deep breath before continuing, “Is Manna there?” He didn’t like talking on the phone in general, and even more did he hate to hear this man’s voice on the other side. He strolled over to the window, trying to calm his heart.
“Manna? Where have you been the last week? I’ve been trying to reach you. … Holiday? Of a sudden?…” He uttered an irritated sigh. “Could you please tell me next time, so I don’t have to worry? … Well, she happens to be my daughter too- … Of course I’m okay, just not happy with you suddenly disappearing. … Still, you should have let me know. … How is she, anyway?”
While he listened to his ex-wife telling him about his baby daughter’s first steps, and the cold she’d had the week before, Linde stared blankly to the dark clouds, with streaks of a starry night sky in between. I can’t believe I’m missing all this. I still can’t believe this isn’t mine anymore.
“Manna?” He softly interrupted her.
She stopped talking.
“You should have known sooner we wouldn’t work, with me being away from home so often. You should have told me about your doubts. I hate it, that you took it all out of my hands, that you never even discussed this with me. And I hate it, that the moment I’m gone, there’s someone else to take my place in your heart, and my place in my daughter’s life.” One shuddering breath, and another one. “I just thought you should know that.”
It wasn’t all like that, it had never been that easy, but the words burned inside him as a simple truth.
There was only some muffled breathing coming from the other side, then a shaky, “Okay.”
Linde could hear how close to tears she was, and he wasn’t far away from crying himself either. He didn’t want her to know that. “Well… thanks for updating me, anyway.” Linde made it sounds as flat as possible.
“Yeah…” was Manna’s only reply, crack in her voice. Another, short moment of whirling thoughts and unspoken words. “Goodnight.”
“Goodnight. Kiss Olivia for me,” he forced out.
Linde hung up and sat down on his bed tiredly, then let himself fall backwards, a tight feeling in his chest. That certainly wasn’t planned. Maybe it’s the wine?
His inner eye jumped from his wife’s sad features to his young daughter’s curious eyes - to Jonne, then to Ville. I will not let it depress me once more. Not now. His thoughts returned to Jonne, and a slow smile drifted on his lips.
He regretted his wish to be left alone though, as part of him really wouldn’t mind having a certain person around to keep his thoughts on happy things. After staring at the same page of his book for 10 minutes, and then flicking through the channels of the TV - while he really thought watching TV was about the dullest thing a person could do, maybe with exception of racing or fight games - he got up with a sigh and left his room. He didn’t really feel like going downstairs and facing Migé and the others, but if it was the only option he had besides being alone in his room, he would.
His heart jumped when he passed Jonne’s room and realised the light was on. Is he up here? Why? He knocked, called out softly, but didn’t receive a reply. Maybe he just left his light on.
Linde tried the door, and found it open. Jonne was stretched out against the headboard, plugs of his mp3-player in his ears, eyes opening - lips forming a smile. He pulled out one plug. “Hey.”
“Hi, uhm… I… decided I’d like some company anyway.” His eyes darted through the room. “But if you’d prefer to be alone…”
“I prefer to be alone with you.” After a mischievous glance, Jonne’s face broke into a wide, sincere smile. “I was hoping you’d come, to be honest.”
And honest he is, Linde thought. I can’t believe it still surprises me!
“You seemed troubled, earlier. Is everything alright between you and you and the others? Are they upset you didn’t spend the day with them?”
“That too, maybe.” Linde sighed, avoided Jonne’s eyes. “I don’t feel like talking about it now.”
“Alright. What do you want to do then?”
“I don’t know… I just talked to my… ex-wife,” Linde forced the word out, “and I don’t want to end the night on that miserable tone.”
“Oh… I can imagine.” Jonne smiled sympathetically, then threw his legs over the side of the bed and stood up. He pressed a kiss to Linde’s lips and drew him into a gentle hug.
Linde rested his head against the other’s shoulder. “I would still like to keep it a quiet night though.”
And so Linde ended up collecting his book from his own room, and sitting on the bed next to Jonne, who snuggled up to him, listening to his music. Never had human contact felt so good, it seemed to him.
But it was Linde who finally broke the peaceful evening, shifting slightly so he’d get Jonne’s attention. “I’m tired, I should go to sleep.”
“You wanna stay here tonight?” Jonne asked, in what seemed a nearly thoughtless way.
A sudden rush of nerves spread through Linde’s stomach.
Jonne couldn’t have missed it, but he just smiled. “I don’t like to be alone at night. It’s your choice though.”
Linde looked at him, the man that had been so utterly sweet to him the past days. He breathed in deeply. “Alright.”
One part of him argued, why am I agreeing to this? And that tiny voice in the back of his head stated clearly, as he met Jonne’s smiling eyes, because I want to.