an open letter to the world
Dear World (but mostly just LJ)-
I haven't checked my flist in a few days, and apparently that was cue for you to all jump on the Crazy Train with a one-way ticket to CrazyTown, located just south of LazyTown and all those scary plastic people/singing pedos with plastic mustaches. Seriously, world. What the fuck.
While I've been slaving away at my queenbitch fic and actually, you know, working at work, the world has lost it's fucking mind. Miley Cyrus hates Twilight and called Nick Jonas gay, both of which are two of the truest things young Miley has ever done, and people are jumping all over her for it. She called the dude gay! Not as in "he's so retarded, he's gay" but as in "he's so gay, he wants to fuck his much hotter middle brother other dudes, or at least hold their hands like a good Christian boy." It's not an insult. It's a statement of fact. And yeah, she sang it in her AMAZING AND AWESOME song, 7 Things, which in part is about the 7 things Miley hates/loves about Nick Jonas, but like, come ON. If you're a 16-year-old girl, you're probably not going to list "being a 'mo" as one of the things you love about your ex-boyfriend. Just saying.
(Also, I love her for hating Twilight. She doesn't like vampires or werewolves. And yet, the world keeps turning. This, too, we will survive.)
Lady Gaga put out the best video I have ever seen in my life, including "Me Against the Music," which I still think is so subversive and brilliant and Britney's dancing is fucking amazing and she totally wants to fuck Madonna but she doesn't get to because her world doesn't work that way and she never gets the shit she really wants because it's her AGAINST the music, which simultaneously gives and takes away all her freedoms. Um, anyway. BAD ROMANCE!! IS AMAZING!!!!!! OMG. And she wears the Alexander McQueen shoes!!! From the alien runway!!
And now, let's talk about Adam Lambert. I know that the kids at ontd_ai are beyond cray-cray over the whole Out editor's letter to Adam, and I get it, but I haven't been over there and I haven't read any reactions to it other than Adam's tweets and HuffPo's hilarious parody, so here are my untainted thoughts:
I think it's ridiculous for the editor to write an open letter to a singer who hasn't even dropped his first album yet to tell him that he's the Great Gay Hope, whether he wants to be or not. But whatever, it's his magazine, and letters like that are common enough. But the timing? Seriously inappropriate. This letter should've gone in the next issue of Out, and not been posted on the same day that Adam's full interview was up for readers. Additionally, it made the editor look a bit silly, because he's saying that 19E wanted Adam to appear "less gay," but the interview is all about how gay Adam is. The fact is, I see the editor's point, but I think he's addressing the wrong person. Adam clearly doesn't know he's supposed to be less gay, and if he does, he's not complying with that directive.
As for Adam's tweets in response, I get why people are upset that he's seemingly dismissing the open letter as a publicity stunt, but in a way, I kind of agree. The editor didn't attempt to have a conversation with Adam about the situation with his management before writing his letter. Neither, apparently, did the interviewer say to Adam, "Dude, your publicist just told me not to make you too gay." The fact is, yes, these are important issues facing LGBT folks, and we should definitely talk about the de-fagging of us in mainstream media. But these aren't important issues to Adam, and that is his prerogative. So it's "not that deep" to him because he doesn't want to talk about the issues, he doesn't want to be vocally political, he doesn't want to be anyone's posterboy. He just wants to do his thing and be himself and get really fucking famous and rich, AND THAT IS TOTALLY VALID.
I saw all this going on with Lance when he came out, and you know what? It took The Advocate over a year to put Lance on their cover, and Lance was actually doing political shit. Lance got treated like crap in the gay media. The gay media elite are always going on about how more famous people need to come out, blah blah--but then they treat those gay famous people like crap while simultaneously pressuring them not to be more activist or more gay or whatever, but to be more THEIR kind of gay.
The fact is, Out is failing. It's already gone bankrupt and been bought a couple times over, I think. So when Adam says that Out is doing this for publicity, he's probably not that far off. They NEED something. I just think it's sad they feel like they have to try to box in and give marching orders to someone they claim to admire as a "breakout" star.
On the other hand, I think this will only boost Adam's visibility and help him sell records. So it's a win-win, really. Out sells magazines because of the controversy, and Adam sells records because his fans feel like he's being attacked and they want to prove to Out just how wrong it is.
What I really want to know is, where the fuck is Adam's video, and is he going to be performing on late night talk shows this week? PLEASE??? I know there's Billboard on Sunday. Monday? Whenever. And that's nice and all. But I want to see Adam perform as much as possible forever and ever, so say we all.
I'm sure there are other things I should be talking about, like placenta facials and how I actually have a social life now and also how you are ALL FIRED (I hate when people write that, but it's fun to say and also, to be a hypocrite) for not telling me how awesome The Venture Brothers is. I mean, I have to get high to understand it, and I totally thought that the Monarch was a bee for forever, but still. It's pretty much the gayest show on Earth, and I want to be Dr. Girlfriend when I grow up, minus the lame boyfriend.
And that's it, that's all I have, unicorns kill ponies and "best of the aughts" lists are already pissing me off.
xoxo-
Andrea
I haven't checked my flist in a few days, and apparently that was cue for you to all jump on the Crazy Train with a one-way ticket to CrazyTown, located just south of LazyTown and all those scary plastic people/singing pedos with plastic mustaches. Seriously, world. What the fuck.
While I've been slaving away at my queenbitch fic and actually, you know, working at work, the world has lost it's fucking mind. Miley Cyrus hates Twilight and called Nick Jonas gay, both of which are two of the truest things young Miley has ever done, and people are jumping all over her for it. She called the dude gay! Not as in "he's so retarded, he's gay" but as in "he's so gay, he wants to fuck his much hotter middle brother other dudes, or at least hold their hands like a good Christian boy." It's not an insult. It's a statement of fact. And yeah, she sang it in her AMAZING AND AWESOME song, 7 Things, which in part is about the 7 things Miley hates/loves about Nick Jonas, but like, come ON. If you're a 16-year-old girl, you're probably not going to list "being a 'mo" as one of the things you love about your ex-boyfriend. Just saying.
(Also, I love her for hating Twilight. She doesn't like vampires or werewolves. And yet, the world keeps turning. This, too, we will survive.)
Lady Gaga put out the best video I have ever seen in my life, including "Me Against the Music," which I still think is so subversive and brilliant and Britney's dancing is fucking amazing and she totally wants to fuck Madonna but she doesn't get to because her world doesn't work that way and she never gets the shit she really wants because it's her AGAINST the music, which simultaneously gives and takes away all her freedoms. Um, anyway. BAD ROMANCE!! IS AMAZING!!!!!! OMG. And she wears the Alexander McQueen shoes!!! From the alien runway!!
And now, let's talk about Adam Lambert. I know that the kids at ontd_ai are beyond cray-cray over the whole Out editor's letter to Adam, and I get it, but I haven't been over there and I haven't read any reactions to it other than Adam's tweets and HuffPo's hilarious parody, so here are my untainted thoughts:
I think it's ridiculous for the editor to write an open letter to a singer who hasn't even dropped his first album yet to tell him that he's the Great Gay Hope, whether he wants to be or not. But whatever, it's his magazine, and letters like that are common enough. But the timing? Seriously inappropriate. This letter should've gone in the next issue of Out, and not been posted on the same day that Adam's full interview was up for readers. Additionally, it made the editor look a bit silly, because he's saying that 19E wanted Adam to appear "less gay," but the interview is all about how gay Adam is. The fact is, I see the editor's point, but I think he's addressing the wrong person. Adam clearly doesn't know he's supposed to be less gay, and if he does, he's not complying with that directive.
As for Adam's tweets in response, I get why people are upset that he's seemingly dismissing the open letter as a publicity stunt, but in a way, I kind of agree. The editor didn't attempt to have a conversation with Adam about the situation with his management before writing his letter. Neither, apparently, did the interviewer say to Adam, "Dude, your publicist just told me not to make you too gay." The fact is, yes, these are important issues facing LGBT folks, and we should definitely talk about the de-fagging of us in mainstream media. But these aren't important issues to Adam, and that is his prerogative. So it's "not that deep" to him because he doesn't want to talk about the issues, he doesn't want to be vocally political, he doesn't want to be anyone's posterboy. He just wants to do his thing and be himself and get really fucking famous and rich, AND THAT IS TOTALLY VALID.
I saw all this going on with Lance when he came out, and you know what? It took The Advocate over a year to put Lance on their cover, and Lance was actually doing political shit. Lance got treated like crap in the gay media. The gay media elite are always going on about how more famous people need to come out, blah blah--but then they treat those gay famous people like crap while simultaneously pressuring them not to be more activist or more gay or whatever, but to be more THEIR kind of gay.
The fact is, Out is failing. It's already gone bankrupt and been bought a couple times over, I think. So when Adam says that Out is doing this for publicity, he's probably not that far off. They NEED something. I just think it's sad they feel like they have to try to box in and give marching orders to someone they claim to admire as a "breakout" star.
On the other hand, I think this will only boost Adam's visibility and help him sell records. So it's a win-win, really. Out sells magazines because of the controversy, and Adam sells records because his fans feel like he's being attacked and they want to prove to Out just how wrong it is.
What I really want to know is, where the fuck is Adam's video, and is he going to be performing on late night talk shows this week? PLEASE??? I know there's Billboard on Sunday. Monday? Whenever. And that's nice and all. But I want to see Adam perform as much as possible forever and ever, so say we all.
I'm sure there are other things I should be talking about, like placenta facials and how I actually have a social life now and also how you are ALL FIRED (I hate when people write that, but it's fun to say and also, to be a hypocrite) for not telling me how awesome The Venture Brothers is. I mean, I have to get high to understand it, and I totally thought that the Monarch was a bee for forever, but still. It's pretty much the gayest show on Earth, and I want to be Dr. Girlfriend when I grow up, minus the lame boyfriend.
And that's it, that's all I have, unicorns kill ponies and "best of the aughts" lists are already pissing me off.
xoxo-
Andrea