It's the day before my birthday, which means it is LANCEFACE's birthday!!! Usually I would offer Lance ficlets, but since I am still working on Time Stamps and the JuC Wedding Fic o' Doom and also reading
pensnest's bittybang, I think I have enough on my plate. Like Harry Potter. Life is hard, you guys. So hard
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I have my very own similar/add-on theories to go with these pictures and those other guys who I used to not lovehate.
JC/Lance - Lance is the reason JC refuses to think about an *NSYNC reunion. Nobody wants to face their happily out, happily slutty, happily happy ex-boyfriend on a regular basis, right? Nope. JC is drowning his sorrows in sparkles and manly looking women, while convincing himself of his straightness by using words and phrases such as "mami" and "I like women."
Justin/Lance - Bitch fight started logically enough. Lance was feeling ignored, came out, stole Justin's thunder, made Justin talk about him on national television and radio for a year, etc. But now Justin is just jealous that Lance has an assortment of hot men to pick from at any given time. Bitch fight will continue until Justin gives in and demands hot wild marathon sex with Lance. (In front of a well-placed camera, of course.)
It all seems perfectly logical to me.
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OMG JC's manly ladies. I love it. Llama and I have a theory that JC makes them wear bags over their heads. And when they get offended, he's like, "But it's a recycled bag! It used to be plastic bottles! So you're, like, totally saving the environment, mami." What they don't know is that JC has had Lance's face embossed on his head-bags.
Okay, now I am just getting creepy :P
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And lmaoooo. I believe it. I'm pretty sure he has to have them sign nondisclosure agreements when he accidentally shouts Lance's name out.
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I know, Justin TOTALLY LIED on Leno! He totally wanted to make it seem like he and Lance were BFF. So random. I always wondered about that lie. I kind of think he started telling it because he realized no one cared that Lance was gay and so it wouldn't hurt his album sales to be associated with the gay. Not that I think Justin is a bad person but... he knows his bottom line.
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Justin is a business person, first and foremost. You can say it!
I think his priorities are set like this:
Mommy--->Mommy--->Me--->Business---->Mommy--->Others Exist?--->Oh yes, them too--->Me (and so on)
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The way the others reacted was all so them. JC was philosophical about family, Joey used puns, Chris compared his coming out to Samuel L Jackson announcing his blackness, and Justin...lied. Kind of.
What sucks is that assuming he comes to his senses one day, he's going to have a shitload of regrets. I know I would if I were him.
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Someday, I would like to know why Justin lied. If it was just as superficial as worrying about album sales being affected, or if he had a real reason.
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I don't know. My initial thought when he said that on Leno was maybe like, Lance had mentioned to him a whileeeeee back that eventually he'd probably be announcing something (I'd assume he was drunk and emotional and not even sure who he was speaking to) and Justin has no concept of time. That, or he was just embarrassed that Lance had all but outed their non-relationship to the world and felt like an asshole and needed to make something up to feel better about himself.
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And ya know, Lance is probably the kind of person who blames everything from global warming to unrest in the middle east on himself. So to try to blame him for the group disbanding, when he had to have known how Lance would take that--it's just wrong. It's like kicking a puppy. A Lance puppy.
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Seriously. :(
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