Chain fic challenge new post - Soft Detox
Previously: Wilson wishes that he could withdraw the words the moment they leave his mouth.
Now:
House pulls back from Wilson and stares long and hard at him. Wilson bows his head and rubs the back of his neck until it seems to House that his skin should have abraded away already.
"I'm sorry," Wilson tells him, his voice quavering. “I thought...it doesn't matter...House, I never intended to do anything to you that you didn't want. I thought that you were so close to returning to reality that you...you realized that it was me doing those things with-to-you and that you knew that it was real even if what you were able to see around you wasn't...oh god, House..."
House is still reeling from shock but he hates to see Wilson so distraught. He had liked it...no, when he’d thought what was happening wasn't real he had loved the holding and touching that had taken place between them. After the initial shock of learning that it had been real passed he was able to think more rationally. Why did he feel so confused now that he knew it had been real? It had felt right, beautiful, the way things always should have been. Why does it feel wrong now that he knows it was real?
"Wilson," House says softly but Wilson refuses to look at him or stop beating himself up.
“You thought it was Cuddy, not me,” Wilson glumly surmises. “You never would have done those things with me had you known. I’m such an idiot. How could have thought you would feel the same way for me and I feel for...House, look, we can pretend this never happened. We never have to speak of it again, just…just tell me I didn’t destroy our friendship. All I wanted to do was help you. I thought I was.”
House sighs and rubs his face with his hands. Blood still oozes from his arm and he feels disoriented and weak. His emotions are spinning like mad but he does know one thing-nothing would cause him to end his friendship with this man before him. If the feelings he felt while still thinking the intimacy with Wilson was a fantasy are any indication, then quite the opposite is true-that’s what terrifies him.
“I didn’t think I was with Cuddy,” House tells him, shaking his head slowly. “I knew I was with you but I didn’t think any of it was real. Now that I know that it was I don’t know what to think...but our friendship is safe. Wilson, look at me.”
Reluctantly, Wilson does. His eyes are red and swollen and his cheeks are streaked from tears. “You…you thought you were with me…and you still…you enjoyed it, and so did I, but House-”
“You should have let me die,” House says, cutting him off. “You, Cuddy-everybody-would be better off if I were dead.”
“Shut up!” Wilson yells. “Quit saying that! My life wouldn’t be worth living without you. I love you.”
House sighed. “Then you’re a fool.”