"Don't blame me, I voted for Aquaman"
So I'm walking in a circle around my kitchen table eating some Flaming Hot Cheetos (I kind of have to since eating Flaming Hot Cheetos makes my eyes water and my nose run and my throat burn because appearanlty I'm a little girl, but I still love my cheetos) and all of a sudden I'm thinking about that Jean Claud van-Damme movie Time Cop, where he has to avoid being electrocuted by some future assasin (it probably makes sense if you pay attention, but when shit like that comes on, I usually jab blunt objects up my nose and pass out on the floor) by jumping and doing the splits on his kitchen counter, and I start wondering if because he can do that, like now he has to/likes to do that when he jacks off. It makes no sense at all when you follow normal thought patterns, but I'm walking circles around a table crying because my ass can't take cheetos I love, and I'm wondering if normal masturbation has worn so thin for the Muscles from Brussels that he has to do the splits in order to jack off. Hell, he was in that one movie with Dennis Rodman where they fought together to save Rome or something, so he probably does that on his own kitchen counter into freshly used dishes just to make sure whoever he's dating knows that he beat that one guy up in Blood Sport while blind and half-dazed by a flashback. I'm pretty sure if I had half the cinemagraphic demons in my closet that he did, I'd probably have to light myself on fire while messing around with French hookers just to get out of bed.
Yeah, it's late. I mean, it's not like it being late affects the crazy shit that comes into my head, just that it probably wears the filter thin. That, and shit like that probably seems funnier to me at 3am than at 4pm. I think that's what happens when your thought process is about as linear as an Internet forum though. I go from solving illegal immigration and having cool t-shirt ideas to dreaming up erotic fan-fiction for Mission Hill in which Kevin French is doing the laundry because Andy kept "forgetting," but since nothing else is left to wear (it's literally been WEEKS!!!), he's forced to wear Jim's old karai pantsu (for those who never watched, they're hot pants with characters on the ass that mock Hello Kitty from Japan that become really popular [Beck even wears them, and yeah, I'm still doing this crap even though I took an English class in which I learned the proper usage of shit like this, and that you're just suppossed to double or triple up on parenthesis]). So Kevin goes down to the laundry room, where he finds Posey who is meditating there because no one uses the stuff on weekday mornings and blah blah blah (I'll skip all the shit that I actually thought through [yeah, I atleast had the decency to not write this down, but whatever side of my brain does this still thought the whole thing out... IN DETAIL] to spare those left on my friends list after this crap), they get it on and it's horrible, just like all fan-fiction, but atleast, you know, to remain true to the show and character qwerks, Kevin moans out "blingity blong" the entire time, and then Satan comes up from the ground and turns into Mr Fathead from Rocko's Modern Life and beats me to death with a parking meter and a rainbow comes out of my dead fractured skull (unfortunately, the red part wasn't included).
Now that that's over with... I guess if this weren't the second post I had made in a year and so far comprised of shit like that, I could probably be all high and mighty about how I'm the only person using LJ anymore, but I doubt I can be taken seriously until I have 30 or more regular posts within a normal window of time. Yeah, you're ok... for now!!! I was going to do some meme thing too, just to make sure no one would be left to want to read this after the sick cartoon mind shit and Jean Claude van-Naked Splits guy, but then it was going to take to long or be to much text, so I'll probably just wait for another day to steal a MySpace bulletin and post it here so I can pretend that counts as a post.
As far as real life crap, um, not much has been going on. Since I've gotten back online and all, I've been trying to talk to the 9 or 10 people I know and make sure they don't hate me anymore, and fortunately no permanent damage was done. This weekend was pretty much all about hanging out with Rory and going to Kevin's in Long Beach and recording some weird ass multi-track "event," kind of like that thing at the beginning of the sweater song by Weezer, but unplanned and for a minute or so and with only 3 people, and then we spent today watching Wonder Showzen clips while I tried to get the outline of my hand in one of those nail things they sell at novelty store but that never seem to have an actual name (you know, the thing with the glass top so the nails don't fall out, and you put you're hand under it and "marvel" at the nails creating the imprint of your hand by falling on it). During the week, Wonder Showzen was new on Friday and I created a fort out of my ass on a coutch in order to watch it at Rory's, then went home and watched old Monk and old HouseMD like an OLD man, and I hung out with Stella and Amber (Tom Goes to the Mayor was just on and seriosuly, that show, gah, soooooo badddddd) for the first time in a billion years the day before and we saw Thank You for Smoking. It was the second time I'd seen Thank You for Smoking, which is an ok film that's really almost stolen by Katie Holmes insisting the main character fuck her while he's on the tv (because his life is being threatened), especially with all this Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah over her crap, but like I said, a billion years, so what do I care about movies so long as it's not Baby Geniuses 2 or some shit like that. Also, some guy sitting up closer by himself was making it his goal to laugh louder and longer at anything even remotely like a joke than anyone else, so now I know what I can do when I retire. Hot dogs in movie theaters though? Fucks sake, that's just creepy, and yeah, I did think that before Thursday. Unfortunately though, I've yet to see a trailer for that Silent Hill film which is going to be out next week or so, and that's kind of pissing me off since I have all the games sitting in my room somewhere and I don't know if I want to see the film and risk ruining some integral part of some game I've yet to play and will probably never get around to playig since RESIDENT EVIL 4, OH MY GOD GUYS, RESIDENT EVIL 4. That games been dominating what little time I've been spending on gaming since I'm trying to be online all the time to make up for having not been, and I'm really glad because it's fun and difficult as hell. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion screens have also been making me think I finally need to get a pc after 7 or so years of saying I will, but I doubt that will ever happen since I hate computer gaming.
Oh well, hopefully that wasn't too much shit to skim over, and maybe next time I'll cut down onwhatever it is I fell I need to say, or just make 56 daily posts instead of one book.
Yeah, it's late. I mean, it's not like it being late affects the crazy shit that comes into my head, just that it probably wears the filter thin. That, and shit like that probably seems funnier to me at 3am than at 4pm. I think that's what happens when your thought process is about as linear as an Internet forum though. I go from solving illegal immigration and having cool t-shirt ideas to dreaming up erotic fan-fiction for Mission Hill in which Kevin French is doing the laundry because Andy kept "forgetting," but since nothing else is left to wear (it's literally been WEEKS!!!), he's forced to wear Jim's old karai pantsu (for those who never watched, they're hot pants with characters on the ass that mock Hello Kitty from Japan that become really popular [Beck even wears them, and yeah, I'm still doing this crap even though I took an English class in which I learned the proper usage of shit like this, and that you're just suppossed to double or triple up on parenthesis]). So Kevin goes down to the laundry room, where he finds Posey who is meditating there because no one uses the stuff on weekday mornings and blah blah blah (I'll skip all the shit that I actually thought through [yeah, I atleast had the decency to not write this down, but whatever side of my brain does this still thought the whole thing out... IN DETAIL] to spare those left on my friends list after this crap), they get it on and it's horrible, just like all fan-fiction, but atleast, you know, to remain true to the show and character qwerks, Kevin moans out "blingity blong" the entire time, and then Satan comes up from the ground and turns into Mr Fathead from Rocko's Modern Life and beats me to death with a parking meter and a rainbow comes out of my dead fractured skull (unfortunately, the red part wasn't included).
Now that that's over with... I guess if this weren't the second post I had made in a year and so far comprised of shit like that, I could probably be all high and mighty about how I'm the only person using LJ anymore, but I doubt I can be taken seriously until I have 30 or more regular posts within a normal window of time. Yeah, you're ok... for now!!! I was going to do some meme thing too, just to make sure no one would be left to want to read this after the sick cartoon mind shit and Jean Claude van-Naked Splits guy, but then it was going to take to long or be to much text, so I'll probably just wait for another day to steal a MySpace bulletin and post it here so I can pretend that counts as a post.
As far as real life crap, um, not much has been going on. Since I've gotten back online and all, I've been trying to talk to the 9 or 10 people I know and make sure they don't hate me anymore, and fortunately no permanent damage was done. This weekend was pretty much all about hanging out with Rory and going to Kevin's in Long Beach and recording some weird ass multi-track "event," kind of like that thing at the beginning of the sweater song by Weezer, but unplanned and for a minute or so and with only 3 people, and then we spent today watching Wonder Showzen clips while I tried to get the outline of my hand in one of those nail things they sell at novelty store but that never seem to have an actual name (you know, the thing with the glass top so the nails don't fall out, and you put you're hand under it and "marvel" at the nails creating the imprint of your hand by falling on it). During the week, Wonder Showzen was new on Friday and I created a fort out of my ass on a coutch in order to watch it at Rory's, then went home and watched old Monk and old HouseMD like an OLD man, and I hung out with Stella and Amber (Tom Goes to the Mayor was just on and seriosuly, that show, gah, soooooo badddddd) for the first time in a billion years the day before and we saw Thank You for Smoking. It was the second time I'd seen Thank You for Smoking, which is an ok film that's really almost stolen by Katie Holmes insisting the main character fuck her while he's on the tv (because his life is being threatened), especially with all this Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah over her crap, but like I said, a billion years, so what do I care about movies so long as it's not Baby Geniuses 2 or some shit like that. Also, some guy sitting up closer by himself was making it his goal to laugh louder and longer at anything even remotely like a joke than anyone else, so now I know what I can do when I retire. Hot dogs in movie theaters though? Fucks sake, that's just creepy, and yeah, I did think that before Thursday. Unfortunately though, I've yet to see a trailer for that Silent Hill film which is going to be out next week or so, and that's kind of pissing me off since I have all the games sitting in my room somewhere and I don't know if I want to see the film and risk ruining some integral part of some game I've yet to play and will probably never get around to playig since RESIDENT EVIL 4, OH MY GOD GUYS, RESIDENT EVIL 4. That games been dominating what little time I've been spending on gaming since I'm trying to be online all the time to make up for having not been, and I'm really glad because it's fun and difficult as hell. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion screens have also been making me think I finally need to get a pc after 7 or so years of saying I will, but I doubt that will ever happen since I hate computer gaming.
Oh well, hopefully that wasn't too much shit to skim over, and maybe next time I'll cut down onwhatever it is I fell I need to say, or just make 56 daily posts instead of one book.