"It's all something you can't prove because you never know the whole truth, just fragments..."
So for some unknown reason, I was reading through my senior highschool yearbook, which I have probably never done before now, because I don't remember any of the pages. I'm looking through the senior bests, readin the boring remarks left by the winners, and I figure I might as well give myself one, since I'm bored and in the midst of downloading something, before I get into whatever the hell else it is I'm going to write about. Here goes:
Best Breather(yeah, that's all I can come up with)
Ronnie Woodruff - After highschool, I'm probably going to lay around for a year and do moslty forgettable things for no appearant reason, and people who don't know me will most likely take this as a sign of being lazy or something, but it's actually because I have no idea as to what anything is anymore now that no one is forcing me to do anything, and I need to figure out what I want to do for myself, since that is now an option. Also, I didn't really graduate yet, and I'm probably going to get sick when I start college, so it's not like I have a choice. After college, I sure as hell hope someone realizes I can yell at people better than most others, and offers me a job doing nothing but that. Politics, firing people for a company, hosting a daytime talkshow, whatever, as long as someone tells me I'll like, I'll probably believe them. If not, I guess I'll probably go with designing videogames or writing, whatever...
So woah, Ronnie updates his journal, finally (yeah, I know, you're waiting with baited breath). Wait, doesn't that mean that he has done something cool and worth mention, since that is what he said last time? Well, in response to that, I have this to say:
Fuck you in your crayon hole! (inside jokes rule, especially when only other person in the whole world understands them, and he never uses his LJ)
Yeah, I haven't reall done much of anything, but I don't give a damn. It's my journal and I'll post if I want to, and I don't want to, but I am anyways.
First off, I just want to remind everyone that I am not a nice person unless I assosciate value with what you say. If I don't value or care about what you say, I am not a very nice person to be around or interract with, because I stopped tolerating most forms of idle banter a long time ago, and now I usually just insult people who bore me so I don't have to deal with them. Is it good practice in life to, as I do, burn bridges while crossing them or, as is sometimes the case, before they are even built? No, but I usually spend my time thinking about other things that I put at higher values than stuff like that, so I don't think most of the time in such cases, just react. Usually, however, I take a while to realize that I don't care, so some people are tolerated far longer than they should be (pretty much everyone in my high school group except those I still talk to is an example), simply because I want to be liked, but then I eventually come to a realization and grenades are thrown. I forget whether the girl who told me about the grenades ("Ronnie, your problem is you have too many grenades, and you throw them in the air, forget about their existence, and when they hit people, you don't care") was a person I tolerated or liked, but thats because I only really remember random things like asking her to marry me in 5th grade when I realized she got GamePro and EGM, or being hit with an aluminum bat in the head because her brother told her I did something I don't think i did. I'm nice to people who I enjoy talking to though, almost to a sickening degree. I'm weird. "I've been told that on my nicest of days, I'm not all that pleasent to be around..."
Right now, for some unknown reason, I'm listening to Refused, "The Shape of Punk to Come," an album that you appearantly have to be in a mood to listen to. It's a weird cd at any other time, just like I assume any other Scandinavian experimental punk cd where the first song is 7 minutes long would be, but right now, I'm simply in a mood to listen to a skinny kid from half-way around the world yell into a microphone, accompanied by distorted guitars, synthesizers and some instruments you wont here on any other cd in Bionic Records. It was inspired by Punk-o-Rama 4, my wishing to hear this cd again, because "Summer Holidays vs Punkroutine" is one of the best songs on that cd, and listening to it 40 minutes straight makes you want the record. I think that's the reason I have the cd, "Summer Holidays," because it's a good song, it just doesn't prepare you for an entire cd like it, a cd you have to be in a certain mood to listen to. "We're all dressed up, we got nowhere to go..."
So what mood am I in, you may be asking. Well, I really have no idea, so I'm just going to say what I'm doing right now, what I'm thinking now, and you can write it down, so if you're ever anything like it, you can go buy Refused, "The Shape of Punk to Come" and enjoy it the way it has to be enjoyed in order to appreciate it. Right now, it's 2:52, and normally, I don't think I would be sitting here whatever percentage of the way I am through an LJ entry and listening to a random cd, but this isn't normally, it's Ronnie being home and Ronnie's parents being in Las Vegas until Saturday. Right now, the stomach achey feeling I had last hour, which I think I have because I've eaten the same exact thing for three days straight, and will again have it tomorrow, is subsiding, and I feel almost ok. Right now, I'm wondering why the word Antidisestablishmentarianism exists, if it does (I think some show made it up), because if it does, it would basically be a double negative, and the exact same as Establishmentarianism. Right now, I'm contemplating to a great degree waking up early tomorrow morning (it's still Thursday in my mind since I haven't gone to sleep yet) and driving around in a sports car that is sitting in my garage. Yeah, I've contemplated driving the BMW on occassion, but then I remember the cars size, and the fact that I really don't like the car. Right now though, I'm thinking about taking that car out of the garage, picking a random road, and driving quite fast on said road. I know I wont, but I'm entertaining the idea, and I'm telling you all how I feel, and I feel that right now, so I might as well mention it. Right now, it's 3:41, and though my eyes are actually burning from being open for so long, the rest of my body isn't tired. I think if it weren't for the fact that my eyes want to close, I could go on for another day without rest, but I wont, because sleep is fun when you have nothing better to do. Atleast to me it is, I guess. "I'd rather know the truth than be happy..."
So what have I been up to? Well, nothing real entertaining, but I have seen some friends, so I might as well mention that for a while. Last Tuesday, or some date last week, Daniel and I went to Nickel Nickel, and that was pretty damn fun. Sure, they didn't have Aliens vs Predator (the only reason I frequent the Fountain Valley Bowl is because of that game [RMW, #1-#5 high score, and yes, this is bragging, ha], because bowling by yourself is only fun if you're good at it, and I'm intermediate at best), but they had Top Skater for 20 cents and Resident Evil Gun for 15 cents, as well as other random games that I would have to think a lot harder than I'm prepared to think at 3:50am to remember, and fun was had by all. Once I was out of money I felt like spending, Dan and I hit up the free games, which should be mandatory under penalty of death in other arcades, and played Tekken 2 for a good half hour or so. Afterwards, I went to Dan's house because it was earlier than I wanted to eat Taco Bell at, and we stared at his computer for a while before making the good decision of watching television with his grandma and making fun of Laura and people on the television. I ended up taking away with me a copy of Morrowind, which is probably a good game, but I have yet to get into it since I don't know what a good amount of things do, and whenever I make mistakes, people seem to murder me. In reality, no one actually goes through with it, but I'm sure at times, a target has appeared on my head, because I'm cool like that. Earlier this week, Tuesday or Monday to be exact (yeah, that's exactness for you), I was going to the supermarket to get milk, as well as considering heavily whether I could afford something to put milk on, when I saw, from the intersection of Goldenwest and some other street, Artur's car in the GWC parking lot. Sure, I'll admit it, I'm the kind of guy, or person even if girls do this to, that has in the car a notepad and a pen for random occassions, like when I crashed into that lady on Beach Blvd. Sure, the pen only works on Sundays, but I was still going to do my darndest to write some random pointless note and leave it for Artur to see, as well as pray that it actually was his car. However, save paper and a tree, Artur was in his car, sitting in shade because he had to go pick his brothers up soon from school. There was really only time for idle chatter about things that don't really matter, but it's still fun to see people who are friends, even if only for 20 minutes of random and idle chatter, which is allowed amongst friends since not every conversation has to save the world if you know there will be more. After the random chatter, I left and got milk and cereal, returned home then left again to go buy a videogame from the place accross the street from GWC. Nothing else really happened, except that I saw some cool movies, Pi and The Tenant, both of which I highly recommend, and I finshed my "collection" of Aliens: Colonial Marines (not really a collection, just a set of 10 comics that I never really looked to complete until now), and got started on a new Aliens storyline, Beserk, which features a MAX suit (sure, that means Aliens will be treated like flys, but it doesn't matter, because MAX suits mean someone barely alive in an armed suit going insane). Aside from that, I've been searching for Osker's "Idle Wile Kill," but having no success. If anyones actually reading this, and you see the cd, contact me, because I'd like to buy it. "I always thought that the classics never went out of style, but they do, they do..."
I think if this were a perfect entry, this would be a perfect paragraph (zing) with a point, but it isn't. All I remmeber is that I was going to write one last paragraph about something, but then I forgot, because I haven't slept in a while, and it turns out my brain just caught up with my eyes. I bought a new pad of paper, but it isn't for songs, so far. Sure, there's one song in it, a song I can't sing or be mad about because it ha a whistle solo (I can't whistle, and I can't be angry when a song has a whistle solo), but the rest is most likely going to be filled with writings of political ideas I have. I don't really like talking about a lot of things I think with people (I mention them freely in my journal because I treat this as me talking to myself in a more permanent form, not as me talking to someone else), mostly because they don't understand or disagree, and my political beliefs are one such thing. Right now, if I had to vote, I had to write down a summation of my beliefs in less than a sentence, I'd say I was a worker and human rights Marxist with an undecided economic policy, and I imagine, mostly from images in my head, that most people don't think this way as well. Whether or not those people read this is unknown to me, but I do believe they exist, so i don't wear a badge on my shirt sleave that says what I think, yet. I just know what I think, I know what I believe, and I know that I haven't read about many other people who thought the same thing. When I wrote this paragraph yesterday, I instead filled it with an incomplete explanation of how land must not be privatized if work is done on it, as well as the machines used to do said work, but like I said, it's incomplete because I can't yet suggest a full alternative. I know that the people who do the work should be in charge of the machines used to do it, but nothing else, especially not how to go about doing this. I know that it would be great if there were a complete democracy used to deicde government matters, pretty much replacing government with the opinions of the individual, but I also know that these same individuals do nothing to change what goes on now, and that they might not do any better if they could decide how everything were to be. It would be better for me if I could say I were a Democrat, because then my beliefs would be spelled out for me in plain English. However, one thing I do know and am 99.9% sure of is that the Democratic party isn't even pretending to push an agenda. People get on tv every day and scream about the liberal media bias, and how bad being a liberal is, and how everyone you know could be a liberal, just like our own red scare, but in reality, the liberals aren't anywher I can see. If the media were liberal, then so to would be the government since it forms the beliefs of most people. It isn't though, and all branches of the government that matter are controlled by Republicans, not Democrats, especially not Liberals, but the liberal media bias is still preached like sermon. The Democratic presidential nominee isn't liberal either, but every day I see people on tv and in the newspaper saying he is, and how horrible it is, but he isn't, and they're lying to everyone in an attempt to make those who aren't conservative yet believe that anyone who isn't is a liberal obsessed with taking your guns and releasing pedophiles onto the streets to rape your kids and force you into gay marriage. None of the Democratic Presidential nominees were liberal, but they would have been, no matter who would have won the nomination, and yet no one seems to be able to look at their record, look at a real liberal, compare the two, and say out loud "Um, bull shit." I don't like this paragraph very much, but I typed it, so I'm going to post it, then I'm going to mess with my friends list (appearantly someone added me to theirs), and then go to sleep. Hopefully when I wake up, I don't want to drive a 2003 BMW Z3 Roadster, because if I did, I could, even though I don't think I can comfortably sit in the damn thing. "Johnny got a gun, they cut his hair, but he didn't care about the bombs or the knives or the combat line..."
Best Breather(yeah, that's all I can come up with)
Ronnie Woodruff - After highschool, I'm probably going to lay around for a year and do moslty forgettable things for no appearant reason, and people who don't know me will most likely take this as a sign of being lazy or something, but it's actually because I have no idea as to what anything is anymore now that no one is forcing me to do anything, and I need to figure out what I want to do for myself, since that is now an option. Also, I didn't really graduate yet, and I'm probably going to get sick when I start college, so it's not like I have a choice. After college, I sure as hell hope someone realizes I can yell at people better than most others, and offers me a job doing nothing but that. Politics, firing people for a company, hosting a daytime talkshow, whatever, as long as someone tells me I'll like, I'll probably believe them. If not, I guess I'll probably go with designing videogames or writing, whatever...
So woah, Ronnie updates his journal, finally (yeah, I know, you're waiting with baited breath). Wait, doesn't that mean that he has done something cool and worth mention, since that is what he said last time? Well, in response to that, I have this to say:
Fuck you in your crayon hole! (inside jokes rule, especially when only other person in the whole world understands them, and he never uses his LJ)
Yeah, I haven't reall done much of anything, but I don't give a damn. It's my journal and I'll post if I want to, and I don't want to, but I am anyways.
First off, I just want to remind everyone that I am not a nice person unless I assosciate value with what you say. If I don't value or care about what you say, I am not a very nice person to be around or interract with, because I stopped tolerating most forms of idle banter a long time ago, and now I usually just insult people who bore me so I don't have to deal with them. Is it good practice in life to, as I do, burn bridges while crossing them or, as is sometimes the case, before they are even built? No, but I usually spend my time thinking about other things that I put at higher values than stuff like that, so I don't think most of the time in such cases, just react. Usually, however, I take a while to realize that I don't care, so some people are tolerated far longer than they should be (pretty much everyone in my high school group except those I still talk to is an example), simply because I want to be liked, but then I eventually come to a realization and grenades are thrown. I forget whether the girl who told me about the grenades ("Ronnie, your problem is you have too many grenades, and you throw them in the air, forget about their existence, and when they hit people, you don't care") was a person I tolerated or liked, but thats because I only really remember random things like asking her to marry me in 5th grade when I realized she got GamePro and EGM, or being hit with an aluminum bat in the head because her brother told her I did something I don't think i did. I'm nice to people who I enjoy talking to though, almost to a sickening degree. I'm weird. "I've been told that on my nicest of days, I'm not all that pleasent to be around..."
Right now, for some unknown reason, I'm listening to Refused, "The Shape of Punk to Come," an album that you appearantly have to be in a mood to listen to. It's a weird cd at any other time, just like I assume any other Scandinavian experimental punk cd where the first song is 7 minutes long would be, but right now, I'm simply in a mood to listen to a skinny kid from half-way around the world yell into a microphone, accompanied by distorted guitars, synthesizers and some instruments you wont here on any other cd in Bionic Records. It was inspired by Punk-o-Rama 4, my wishing to hear this cd again, because "Summer Holidays vs Punkroutine" is one of the best songs on that cd, and listening to it 40 minutes straight makes you want the record. I think that's the reason I have the cd, "Summer Holidays," because it's a good song, it just doesn't prepare you for an entire cd like it, a cd you have to be in a certain mood to listen to. "We're all dressed up, we got nowhere to go..."
So what mood am I in, you may be asking. Well, I really have no idea, so I'm just going to say what I'm doing right now, what I'm thinking now, and you can write it down, so if you're ever anything like it, you can go buy Refused, "The Shape of Punk to Come" and enjoy it the way it has to be enjoyed in order to appreciate it. Right now, it's 2:52, and normally, I don't think I would be sitting here whatever percentage of the way I am through an LJ entry and listening to a random cd, but this isn't normally, it's Ronnie being home and Ronnie's parents being in Las Vegas until Saturday. Right now, the stomach achey feeling I had last hour, which I think I have because I've eaten the same exact thing for three days straight, and will again have it tomorrow, is subsiding, and I feel almost ok. Right now, I'm wondering why the word Antidisestablishmentarianism exists, if it does (I think some show made it up), because if it does, it would basically be a double negative, and the exact same as Establishmentarianism. Right now, I'm contemplating to a great degree waking up early tomorrow morning (it's still Thursday in my mind since I haven't gone to sleep yet) and driving around in a sports car that is sitting in my garage. Yeah, I've contemplated driving the BMW on occassion, but then I remember the cars size, and the fact that I really don't like the car. Right now though, I'm thinking about taking that car out of the garage, picking a random road, and driving quite fast on said road. I know I wont, but I'm entertaining the idea, and I'm telling you all how I feel, and I feel that right now, so I might as well mention it. Right now, it's 3:41, and though my eyes are actually burning from being open for so long, the rest of my body isn't tired. I think if it weren't for the fact that my eyes want to close, I could go on for another day without rest, but I wont, because sleep is fun when you have nothing better to do. Atleast to me it is, I guess. "I'd rather know the truth than be happy..."
So what have I been up to? Well, nothing real entertaining, but I have seen some friends, so I might as well mention that for a while. Last Tuesday, or some date last week, Daniel and I went to Nickel Nickel, and that was pretty damn fun. Sure, they didn't have Aliens vs Predator (the only reason I frequent the Fountain Valley Bowl is because of that game [RMW, #1-#5 high score, and yes, this is bragging, ha], because bowling by yourself is only fun if you're good at it, and I'm intermediate at best), but they had Top Skater for 20 cents and Resident Evil Gun for 15 cents, as well as other random games that I would have to think a lot harder than I'm prepared to think at 3:50am to remember, and fun was had by all. Once I was out of money I felt like spending, Dan and I hit up the free games, which should be mandatory under penalty of death in other arcades, and played Tekken 2 for a good half hour or so. Afterwards, I went to Dan's house because it was earlier than I wanted to eat Taco Bell at, and we stared at his computer for a while before making the good decision of watching television with his grandma and making fun of Laura and people on the television. I ended up taking away with me a copy of Morrowind, which is probably a good game, but I have yet to get into it since I don't know what a good amount of things do, and whenever I make mistakes, people seem to murder me. In reality, no one actually goes through with it, but I'm sure at times, a target has appeared on my head, because I'm cool like that. Earlier this week, Tuesday or Monday to be exact (yeah, that's exactness for you), I was going to the supermarket to get milk, as well as considering heavily whether I could afford something to put milk on, when I saw, from the intersection of Goldenwest and some other street, Artur's car in the GWC parking lot. Sure, I'll admit it, I'm the kind of guy, or person even if girls do this to, that has in the car a notepad and a pen for random occassions, like when I crashed into that lady on Beach Blvd. Sure, the pen only works on Sundays, but I was still going to do my darndest to write some random pointless note and leave it for Artur to see, as well as pray that it actually was his car. However, save paper and a tree, Artur was in his car, sitting in shade because he had to go pick his brothers up soon from school. There was really only time for idle chatter about things that don't really matter, but it's still fun to see people who are friends, even if only for 20 minutes of random and idle chatter, which is allowed amongst friends since not every conversation has to save the world if you know there will be more. After the random chatter, I left and got milk and cereal, returned home then left again to go buy a videogame from the place accross the street from GWC. Nothing else really happened, except that I saw some cool movies, Pi and The Tenant, both of which I highly recommend, and I finshed my "collection" of Aliens: Colonial Marines (not really a collection, just a set of 10 comics that I never really looked to complete until now), and got started on a new Aliens storyline, Beserk, which features a MAX suit (sure, that means Aliens will be treated like flys, but it doesn't matter, because MAX suits mean someone barely alive in an armed suit going insane). Aside from that, I've been searching for Osker's "Idle Wile Kill," but having no success. If anyones actually reading this, and you see the cd, contact me, because I'd like to buy it. "I always thought that the classics never went out of style, but they do, they do..."
I think if this were a perfect entry, this would be a perfect paragraph (zing) with a point, but it isn't. All I remmeber is that I was going to write one last paragraph about something, but then I forgot, because I haven't slept in a while, and it turns out my brain just caught up with my eyes. I bought a new pad of paper, but it isn't for songs, so far. Sure, there's one song in it, a song I can't sing or be mad about because it ha a whistle solo (I can't whistle, and I can't be angry when a song has a whistle solo), but the rest is most likely going to be filled with writings of political ideas I have. I don't really like talking about a lot of things I think with people (I mention them freely in my journal because I treat this as me talking to myself in a more permanent form, not as me talking to someone else), mostly because they don't understand or disagree, and my political beliefs are one such thing. Right now, if I had to vote, I had to write down a summation of my beliefs in less than a sentence, I'd say I was a worker and human rights Marxist with an undecided economic policy, and I imagine, mostly from images in my head, that most people don't think this way as well. Whether or not those people read this is unknown to me, but I do believe they exist, so i don't wear a badge on my shirt sleave that says what I think, yet. I just know what I think, I know what I believe, and I know that I haven't read about many other people who thought the same thing. When I wrote this paragraph yesterday, I instead filled it with an incomplete explanation of how land must not be privatized if work is done on it, as well as the machines used to do said work, but like I said, it's incomplete because I can't yet suggest a full alternative. I know that the people who do the work should be in charge of the machines used to do it, but nothing else, especially not how to go about doing this. I know that it would be great if there were a complete democracy used to deicde government matters, pretty much replacing government with the opinions of the individual, but I also know that these same individuals do nothing to change what goes on now, and that they might not do any better if they could decide how everything were to be. It would be better for me if I could say I were a Democrat, because then my beliefs would be spelled out for me in plain English. However, one thing I do know and am 99.9% sure of is that the Democratic party isn't even pretending to push an agenda. People get on tv every day and scream about the liberal media bias, and how bad being a liberal is, and how everyone you know could be a liberal, just like our own red scare, but in reality, the liberals aren't anywher I can see. If the media were liberal, then so to would be the government since it forms the beliefs of most people. It isn't though, and all branches of the government that matter are controlled by Republicans, not Democrats, especially not Liberals, but the liberal media bias is still preached like sermon. The Democratic presidential nominee isn't liberal either, but every day I see people on tv and in the newspaper saying he is, and how horrible it is, but he isn't, and they're lying to everyone in an attempt to make those who aren't conservative yet believe that anyone who isn't is a liberal obsessed with taking your guns and releasing pedophiles onto the streets to rape your kids and force you into gay marriage. None of the Democratic Presidential nominees were liberal, but they would have been, no matter who would have won the nomination, and yet no one seems to be able to look at their record, look at a real liberal, compare the two, and say out loud "Um, bull shit." I don't like this paragraph very much, but I typed it, so I'm going to post it, then I'm going to mess with my friends list (appearantly someone added me to theirs), and then go to sleep. Hopefully when I wake up, I don't want to drive a 2003 BMW Z3 Roadster, because if I did, I could, even though I don't think I can comfortably sit in the damn thing. "Johnny got a gun, they cut his hair, but he didn't care about the bombs or the knives or the combat line..."